上位 200 件のコメント表示する 500

[–]TesticleMeElmo 2303ポイント2304ポイント  (93子コメント)

right in the cock pit!

[–]GroovingPict 876ポイント877ポイント  (29子コメント)

[–]Tired-Swine 360ポイント361ポイント  (15子コメント)

Was waiting him to pull one out of his nose.

[–]senjafuda 431ポイント432ポイント  (6子コメント)

[–]toconnor 180ポイント181ポイント  (3子コメント)

It is a beautiful world we live in now where someone can hope for a nose upvote and then live to see it come true.

[–]dontbeanegatron 29ポイント30ポイント  (2子コメント)

A world of mutual instant gratification. Just beautiful.

[–]WalrusFist 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

It only get more mutual, more instant and with more gratification as time passes.

[–]grudges_into_gold 28ポイント29ポイント  (1子コメント)

I was just expecting another genocide.

Also from his nose.

[–]unarmed_black_man 42ポイント43ポイント  (8子コメント)

inb4 'that guy' explains who Idi Amin is

[–]dastweinerhund 63ポイント64ポイント  (3子コメント)

His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular and Reddit also“.

[–]AlmightyBeard 9ポイント10ポイント  (2子コメント)

Nah dude that's Kony. 2012 never forget.

[–]realfinkployd 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

That was a stupid campaign. He wasn't even on the ballot.

[–]RobTChez 121ポイント122ポイント  (19子コメント)

[–]desmondhasabarrow 26ポイント27ポイント  (14子コメント)

Classic Beltre.

[–]NiggyWiggyWoo 11ポイント12ポイント  (13子コメント)

I will never understand why he has such a burning hatred for having his head touched.

[–]mageta621 10ポイント11ポイント  (12子コメント)

But meanwhile, I'll laugh my ass off at those clips

[–]desmondhasabarrow 16ポイント17ポイント  (11子コメント)

Here's a collection of Adrian Beltre gifs.

[–]Xam229 7ポイント8ポイント  (8子コメント)

I would, honest to God, watch a sitcom that starred Beltre and Andrus, and it would break rating records.

[–]SpiLLiX 6ポイント7ポイント  (3子コメント)

Ehh Andrus would find a way to commit 3 errors and lose them their TV show.

(yeah I'm still salty)

[–]ABeard 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

I would watch the shit out of it. Would it be more I Love Lucy style or The Odd Couple? I could see Andrus playing a good Lucy Ricardo

[–]Xam229 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I was thinking more like a buddy cop style show... But I like those ideas too!

[–]munoodle 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Two and a Half Men, Beltre is Sheen, Andrus is the weird one, and Hamilton is the fat kid just tryna figure out life

[–]daeger[🍰] 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

That is one of the most satisfying collection of gifs I've seen. It took me awhile to get number 14 though.

[–]Mechakoopa 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not a big baseball watcher, but it was a forced run to third I think? Guy was basically out, Beltre just had to touch the base and the guy couldn't realistically go around him because he was right on the base line.

[–]Giancarlo456 21ポイント22ポイント  (1子コメント)

Was he seeing himself on the screen?

[–]DavBroChill 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

the cameras have a red light that turns on when they're live.

[–]UiiN 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I was trying not to laugh watching him trying not to laugh.

[–]WiredEgo 74ポイント75ポイント  (3子コメント)

She must have a landing strip

[–]8bitslime 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

Ayy! And here I was thinking I thought if all the innuendos on this...

Edit: they said hurtful things about my spelling..

[–]KirtashMiau 37ポイント38ポイント  (0子コメント)

Funniest pun I've seen in a while.

Have my gratitude.

[–]Eurospective 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

You fucks give gold for everything and not this? REDEEM YOURSELVES!

[–]DanDantheWolfMan 674ポイント675ポイント  (34子コメント)

What do we want? Airplane jokes! When do we want them? Nnnneeeaaaoooww!

[–]fickle_floridian 158ポイント159ポイント  (19子コメント)

Surely you can't be serious.

[–]cclan2 162ポイント163ポイント  (15子コメント)

I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

[–]JamiesWhiteShirt 85ポイント86ポイント  (14子コメント)

What's our vector, Victor?

[–]didzisk 74ポイント75ポイント  (13子コメント)

That's a roger, Roger.

[–]Cloo159 37ポイント38ポイント  (9子コメント)

You ever see a grown man naked?

[–]bradlees 22ポイント23ポイント  (3子コメント)

Have you ever wondered why they call it a cockpit?

[–]YeahBuddyDude 18ポイント19ポイント  (2子コメント)

Billy, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?

[–]Sewer-Urchin 16ポイント17ポイント  (4子コメント)

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.

[–]Letchworth 15ポイント16ポイント  (3子コメント)

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

[–]knylok 7ポイント8ポイント  (2子コメント)

I find airplane jokes to be a bit plane.

[–]RodeoRuck 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm not really sure that pun landed with this crowd.

[–]terattt 1173ポイント1174ポイント  (50子コメント)

Good thing it was just a toy instead of a real full-sized jet. If it were a jet she'd probably be in the hospital. I hope she realizes how lucky she is.

[–]AadilF1 407ポイント408ポイント  (20子コメント)

Kids and their full sized F16s...

[–]TipYourHatToMe 122ポイント123ポイント  (9子コメント)

It's bad parenting. I didn't have a full size F16 until i was 17 years old. It's just a distraction if you're any younger than that.

[–]supaphly42 49ポイント50ポイント  (0子コメント)

Exactly. People seem to have forgotten that F16 stands for Forbidden under 16.

[–]uberscoober 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's like helicopter parenting but with F16's!

[–]GoToTell 17ポイント18ポイント  (7子コメント)

We all dream of a world without Pepsi and their lies.

[–]instantchildbirth 29ポイント30ポイント  (0子コメント)

Jet fuel can't melt young teens

[–]mithikx 37ポイント38ポイント  (20子コメント)

[–]HotWeen 22ポイント23ポイント  (7子コメント)

Silly F-15, you're not a car you're a fighter/attack aircraft. Get off the road lol

[–]derpbynature 17ポイント18ポイント  (3子コメント)

Listen man, if an F-15 wants to roll down Sixth Street, the F-15 rolls down Sixth Street.

[–]BH_Andrew 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

I ain't gonna fuck with a guy in an F-15, think of the road rage.

[–]myblindy 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's ok, he can't aim the guns down.

Unless you're in a truck. Then good luck to you.

[–]take-dat-wit-u 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

"Damnit, Stephen, I told you without blinkers we'd never make it to the DMB concert! opens canopy, waving frantically GO AROUND! WE'RE SORRY! GO AROUND!"

[–]paulthepenguin 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I know, right? Sixth is one way, you can't turn left onto that. You have to drive up to fifth, take a left, then left onto Main, THEN left onto Sixth.

Learn the goddamn rules of the road.

[–]WuhanWTF 3ポイント4ポイント  (9子コメント)

Man, these things look so weird without any weapons strapped on.

[–]BShears 87ポイント88ポイント  (0子コメント)

Jet fuel can't melt lady's jeans.

[–]rjens 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think you are ready for a novelty reddit account. IHopeTheyRealize

[–]TesticleMeElmo 530ポイント531ポイント  (69子コメント)

tfw you accidentally bust your sister's hymen as a joke

[–]DPooly1996 31ポイント32ポイント  (16子コメント)

What's sad is that I actually did that, except I was mad at her instead. I was little and I knew hitting boys in the crotch really hurt so I figured it was the same for a girl. I straight up punched her in her crotch and yeeeaaaars later she told me it broke her hymen. I feel so disgusting

[–]flamedarkfire 10ポイント11ポイント  (1子コメント)

Congratulations! You took your sister's virginity!

[–]sometimesynot 2ポイント3ポイント  (4子コメント)

Is...is that even possible?

[–]nopenopenopenoway 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I heard mythic schoolyard tales of it happening to a girl who fell crotch first onto the monkey bars, so if there's any truth in that, then yeah, blunt force trauma to the vulva can cause significant enough distortion of the vaginal canal to tear the hymen.

[–]6F4A20T16S8T 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh yeah. I'm not sure how common it is but it definitely happens. I know my roommate broke hers playing soccer. And when I was like 12 I remember a girl jumped her bike off a ramp and landed kind of hard, and a few years later she told me that it broke her hymen.

[–]QueuedeSpool 164ポイント165ポイント  (20子コメント)

Right, a "joke".

Next thing you're going to tell me is she broke his arms as a "joke".

[–]Billy1138 78ポイント79ポイント  (18子コメント)

Sister not Mother.

[–]comradenu 17ポイント18ポイント  (3子コメント)

But mah mother's mah sister!

[–]THE_CENTURION 4ポイント5ポイント  (2子コメント)

Sounds like she should meet my dad-brother, they'd get along.

[–]Jourei 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's a happy family event!

[–]Miles0smiles 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ladies and Gentlemen! The Aristocrats!

[–]fatbabythompkins 14ポイント15ポイント  (5子コメント)

Jet fuel can't melt steal hymens!

[–]supaphly42 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's cool, they were just being silly and non-sexual.

[–]Shallnazar 32ポイント33ポイント  (0子コメント)

There's something hilarious to me about how just the wings fly off and past her.

[–]MiB_Agent_A 209ポイント210ポイント  (20子コメント)

I think the best part is that the little boy isn't upset that the plane broke, he just starts laughing. This basically summarizes my relationship with my sister when we were younger.

[–]sukaidansa 82ポイント83ポイント  (10子コメント)

The wings on those planes are designed to pop off when they hit something to reduce the stress of the impact.

[–]Fenraven 65ポイント66ポイント  (8子コメント)

I remember having those as a kid. The dreams of having it soar through the clouds. The glee of pulling the pieces out of the plastic bag and putting it together. This thing is going to soar high and fly far. I'm going to break records with this plane. In fact I will give it a name to commemorate it. Jetflame, that's what I'll call it. I pick it up and start running. More speed the better. This baby is going to go so far, I can barely contain my excitement. I pick up the pace and reach back for the the final launch. The timer starts in my head. 3-2-1, LAUNCH! I throw Jetflame as hard as I can towards the horizon. Yes! It's soaring high into the sky now! Only it keeps going, into a clockwise loop straight into the fucking ground. Breaks into 4 pieces and teaches me a life lesson about hope.

[–]charlieblue666 26ポイント27ポイント  (2子コメント)

"Trying is the first step towards failure".

-Homer Simpson

[–]SelectaRx 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

"I've learned that life is just one crushing defeat after another until you finally just wish Flanders was dead."

-Homer Thompson

[–]jld2k6 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I could have swore you said "I'm gonna give it my name" and laughed when I saw your username was not jetflame. Thought you were implying your real name was jetflame for a second until I reread.

[–]joanzen 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

By the fifth flight my styrofoam plane was more glue and tape than anything else. It'd flex in strange places and this caused it to crash even harder. It's easily one of the greatest kill-joy experiences of my youth.

[–]matthewtheninja 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Reminds me of the Christmas I got a boomerang. I took it outside and threw it into the cul-de-sac and not only did it not come back to me, it hit a curb and broke in half. I only threw the damn thing once.

[–]Backstop 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

a life lesson about hope tape.

[–]MattheJ1 93ポイント94ポイント  (4子コメント)

Let's face it, this is probably the best outcome he could have hoped for when he threw that plane.

[–]stroupzilla 61ポイント62ポイント  (3子コメント)

he was definitely going for a face shot - what a jerk

[–]Backstop 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

She turns to the side to watch it go by the first time, I think it veered a little to get inline with her.

[–]ImReallyQuiteGangsta 115ポイント116ポイント  (20子コメント)

10.16.15 Never Forget

[–]wastespeoplestime 14ポイント15ポイント  (3子コメント)

The day they stopped making lunchables. I'll always love those little pizzas

[–]Sys_init 2ポイント3ポイント  (3子コメント)

Implying this happened today and isn't a repost? :o

[–]Jake4333 9ポイント10ポイント  (2子コメント)

That title...I could almost hear it

[–]aseasyas 16ポイント17ポイント  (1子コメント)

These planes have evil intentions. All of them. My sister and I were playing with one when we were younger, a few minutes later, I was hit by a car and broke my leg in four places. A buddy of mine landed one on a roof when he was young and had his neighbor fetch it for him. His neighbor slipped, grabbed the gutter and now has 3 fewer fingers. Something bad will always happen when a foam plane is around.

[–]SaintVanilla 58ポイント59ポイント  (1子コメント)

OW, my fallopian tubes!

[–]lilaannannas 33ポイント34ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ooooh right in the baby box

[–]m0rph3r 15ポイント16ポイント  (1子コメント)

MOOOOOOOM, MY STUPID SIS BROKE MY PLAAAANE!!!

[–]cmcraes 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

How I imagine anyones reaction to pain in a low quality gif https://youtu.be/_X6VoFBCE9k

[–]JarlaxleForPresident 12ポイント13ポイント  (6子コメント)

The brother clearly meant to hit her with that super throw. It just missed and came back around.

[–]have_heart 18ポイント19ポイント  (4子コメント)

Definitely. Everyone's talking about the hit and I'm still concerned about that kids intention when he threw that plane as hard as he could three feet away.

[–]R3AL1Z3 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Came here for this; there was just pure evil in that initial throw and she was so oblivious to it.

[–]Vinzembob 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

If you watch the gif she's not very concerned with it hitting her the first time. I think he's throwing it beside her and watches as it curves in the air and hits her, which he finds funny. i dont think he was trying to hit her at all...

[–]Pokerizer 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Pretty certain this is what happened. Would also explain why she turned to her left to watch it go up. It didn't pass directly above her face.

[–]cptsir 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

Am I the only one who thinks the plane hit her in the stomach...

[–]AlamarAtReddit 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

The sympathy pain reaction is great ; )

[–]IdSporkYouSoGood 23ポイント24ポイント  (0子コメント)

The plane had a choice to hit either of them and obviously hit the girl. What a sexist.

[–]gamehunter 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

He just threw it at her face as hard as he could

[–]karatous1234 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Love how the wings pop off

[–]alansfantasyland 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

That went down quicker than a Malaysian airliner

[–]_combatsandwich 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

The wings came off, he is dead guys.

[–]ElPlatanaso 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Dude, A1 onomatopoeia.

[–]_gerg_ 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

I feel like I'm now a sex offender from just reading these comments

[–]MojarraMuncher 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

And that is how the towers fell, kids.

[–]cluq 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

What a fuckin asshole!

[–]roy20050 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I like how both wings blow off and land at the sides.

[–]quazimoto 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

to be fair that was kind of his plan to begin with when he walked right up to her - pointed it at her and threw it as hard as he could.

[–]bemanijunkie 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

How many of you read the title out loud?

[–]prolikewhoa 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

The first time Kevin met Winnie.

[–]tobor_a 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I wonder how much that actually hurt...Looked more like it hit her in the gut rather than the cooch. So it's like she got knee'd in the gut by an airplane.

[–]SuperVillainPresiden 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Similar story happened in high school. We built boomerangs for physics class and went out to throw and test them. A lot of them would turn around and come back, but they'd be way off. One time I apparently threw mine damn near perfect. It went out and then up directly into the sun, so I got blinded for a moment. Then as my vision came back I saw the boomerang, but didn't have time to dodge. Hit me straight in the knee and cut it open. Didn't need stitches but it bleed pretty good.

[–]toxicroach 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Styrofoam planes were the old version of toy helicopters. Fun for the 45 minutes they last before they break.

[–]shootdrawwrite 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

2 years later the Wright Brothers, continuing the boy's work after his grisly murder, invented manned flight.

[–]NotAnAngle 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Always upvote children in pain

[–]MoarStruts 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

30 years later

"This, Annie, is why you're adopted."

[–]JayReddt 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

The best part is the wings falling off.

[–]chiropter 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Wow what a little tool, if it hadn't veered upward just before hitting her the first time it could have damaged her eyes badly.

My uncle was partially blinded in one eye by a stick as a kid, this stuff happens.

[–]ScottJohnson 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Where can I buy one of those.

[–]Soljah 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

the wings flying off were gold...

[–]KentWayne 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Almost went in the hanger.

[–]thebaconisforever 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

What a little shit.