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The OFFICIAL Blue Pill Dating Advice ~Satire~ (self.TheBluePill)

pandorarosieRaymundo's Plate (Latin Chad) が 投稿

So Terp's...despite us telling them TBP doesn't exist, that it is just satire...they cry saying if we offered something they wouldn't ALL turn to the red pill.

So I propose we list ways to date/court of course...sticking with the theme of this subreddit, it'll be satire.

I know all of you have great advice out there! So it's time to share!

My advice comes from keeping my bitch in line. She listens well...but sometimes her hamster gets the best of her...so I reel her in with treats.

My suggestion to the Terp's? Maybe try jujubes? I think I'd respond to jujubes...but that's me, maybe fuzzy peaches?

Suggestions Bloopers?

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[–]Redwine_and_DoritoesChad Max: Beyond Thundercock 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

My cold approach. Hasn't not never failed. Not even once.

[–]operanonYour dick has never once tasted the joys of womanflesh 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ignore your gut instinct. If you're thinking to yourself 'Jeez, saying something like that is so unnatural for me' or 'I'm not even sure I know how to hug someone, how can I do this kino stuff', it's definitely a sign that you should go forward with it, whether it be a canned pickup script or a kino escalation.

Bitches go crazy when your voice cracks and trembles when laying on those suave moves, or a casual arm around her turns into a breathing-down-her-neck chokehold. It's the perfect mix of being alpha and faking a bit of vulnerability.

[–]Foxclaws42Alpha Bitch 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

If you're wondering whether or not she's into you, just remember this simple guide:

  1. "Yes" means yes.
  2. "Maybe" means yes.
  3. "No" means "I don't know what I want. Please guide me!" Take it as a yes.
  4. "Fuck off" means "I'm playing hard to get! Be my alfalfa 5ever!"
  5. "I'll call the cops" means that she's overwhelmed by your manly masculinity. It's another way of saying yes.
  6. If she's actively punching you in the face or balls, that means no. (Unless she makes eye contact at any time. That's totally another yes!)

[–]belletaco 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ugh ok fine you incel losers, I will teach you how it's done.

First, find a hottie at the bar and give her a neg. "is it the lighting in here or are you just sweaty?" She should be ready to suck your dick at this point but if not, pull out a stack of 100 dollar bills and fan her with them. Then hand her a bill, say, "You'll have what Im having." And send her to the bar confused and wet. If you're feeling confident, grab her boob and yell, "HONK!" and throw in a cheeky wink.

At this point, she's dripping, when she comes back chug the beer and show her you're a real man, then grab the beer out of her hand and repeat. If you can, burp in her face, chicks LOVE that. If you've done it all right, she should be ready to go. Grab her hand and suck on her index finger while maintaining total eye contact. If she looks away, you blew it, if she starts to cry, you're in. Throw her ass in an über, make her pay and then make 9-10 seconds of sweet, sweet love to her on her futon.

If all else fails, try peacocking!!!

Can we turn the responses to this into a Google doc or PDF we can all just answer with whenever there is a post or comment on what our advice is?

[–]Mentioned_Videos 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

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stewie griffin says hi 4 - My cold approach. Hasn't not never failed. Not even once.
Tom Haverford - Peacocking 2 - Ugh ok fine you incel losers, I will teach you how it's done. First, find a hottie at the bar and give her a neg. "is it the lighting in here or are you just sweaty?" She should be ready to suck your dick at this point but...

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