1. It seems that you're more interested in monogamous relationships, and she has explicitly told you that she isn't. "Ignorance is bliss" might have worked up until now, but you're not on equal playing fields and you're only going to get hurt finding out who she is sexual with besides you.
2. Her "message" profession. She is a sex worker; she is exchanging sexual acts for money. If you're not morally comfortable with that then it's not going to work out.

She swears she doesn't have p-in-v/a sex, she doesn't use her mouth, only her hands. She wears gloves when she does it too.

1. She is into you. Typically the girls that have the foresight to be upfront with about how they feel about "monogamy" or "relationships" aren't the ones who play games.
2. She has clear goals and reasoned that this is her best course of action that has presented itself. If she quits now, she has a lot of debt, no longer has the time to volunteer AND still has the stigma of having been a sex worker. If she continues, she only has the last one to contend with. I doubt that she will quit if you ask her to because she went into knowing this was in all probability going to happen at some point and it's unlikely you have any arguments against it that she hasn't already considered a thousand times.
3. However, you shouldn't "try living with this knowing it bothers" you. You should try to separate out what your different feelings are. Some of them may be things you want to work on getting over, but others may not be. My (now) husband was insecure early on because of a belief that if I could have sex with someone else, it meant that I didn't truly care about him. It took a long time, a lot of patience on both ends, but he had decided early on that he could intellectually accept that was true and wanted to work on proving it emotionally.
4. Being so harsh with her is exactly why she compartmentalized to begin with. "This is who I am and what I'm doing for now but I don't want to hurt anyone either" is the stance she seems to be taking. You've already acknowledged your need to apologize on that front, but there's a very real chance she will be annoyed by it enough to cut contact or consider doing so in the future if it happens more often.
5. Even if you apologize and try to make things work, she may not be in a place to. If she does go NC as a result, please do not take it personally. Protecting yourself emotionally and physically can be very hard while doing sex work and walking away from high risk situations is a survival and coping mechanism. And no matter how "safe" you think you are for her, this situation is likely to not feel that way to her which is why she was avoiding it.
6. Since protecting herself should be a high priority, she should never see the guy who told you again. Please tell her a random escort from the internet says that clients who cross boundaries are never worth it. I get the impression she already operates that way, but sometimes people need the reminder.
7. If you guys do continue seeing each other, I highly recommend a lot of conversations about how long she intends to do this for and how she plans on getting out. Try your best to not punish her for the truth, though, or neither of you will come out of it for the better. Do not push her to stop before she achieves the goals she outlines but also don't tolerate sliding after the initial goals are achieved unless it's mutually agreed upon.