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Sweden opens world's first male rape centre - Agood thing for equality? (thelocal.se)

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[–]aithne1 150ポイント151ポイント  (32子コメント)

Absolutely! What's the question mark for? Was it supposed to be an exclamation point?

[–]thestillnessinmyeyes 22ポイント23ポイント  (30子コメント)

Because if you look in some of the other related discussions, some people are convinced that women would oppose such a thing.

[–]transmo 35ポイント36ポイント  (5子コメント)

Some women would. Some men too.

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    [–]starr_and_stripe 8ポイント9ポイント  (14子コメント)

    That is so amazing, that's a real hero and I feel so terrible he took his life and didn't achieve what he wanted to. That's really heartbreaking.

    [–]GenericUsername1326 7ポイント8ポイント  (13子コメント)

    Every time I read the story, I can't help but cry. He killed himself in part to try and get help to people who had been in his situation. It hits close to home especially because I've had friends in this situation who were beaten and raped by abusive ex girlfriends, but there's nowhere for them to go. Call a hotline, they're forwarded to the batterer's hotline and told they're the abuser. Drive to any domestic violence shelter within a 2 hours drive away, it's a safe space for women and men aren't welcome. Tell the police, get laughed out of the station. Welcome to Indiana, or America, or the World.

    [–]starr_and_stripe 3ポイント4ポイント  (6子コメント)

    =/

    Maybe it's the wrong time to be political, but don't you just hate when you see something about the world that so obviously needs to change, but you can't do anything about it? I feel that way about a lot of social issues, and obviously something like this as well. Things could easily be different, and there's no good reason to not allocate money to this kind of thing. Well, good for Sweden anyway, hopefully it helps everywhere else catch up.

    [–]GenericUsername1326 1ポイント2ポイント  (5子コメント)

    There's two reasons they don't allocate money. One is that it's expensive, the other is that it would mean less money going to women's shelters. The latter is only an issue if you feel that women are the only victims or that the minority of victims should be ignored; which is what I think is the reason it's not that widespread.

    [–]starr_and_stripe 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

    It doesn't necessarily mean there'd be less money that goes to women's shelters. IDK, I just feel like it should be easier to shame a politician for failing to address the issue. Wishful thinking I guess.

    [–]GenericUsername1326 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Most gender issues are treated as a zero sum game, even if they aren't exactly a zero sum game. Optimism rarely suits the world.

    [–]DogPawsCanType[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Maybe they could take a bit away from military spending or something like that

    [–]Xenomemphate 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Don't be silly, how would then spread Freedom! across the world if they did that?

    [–]Peatmoss613 [スコア非表示]  (5子コメント)

    I only disagree with being laughed out of the station point. I think police want to help with this but the system they have to use doesn't give them the tools to succeed. DV procedures need to be improved and updated to better serve people in today's society.

    [–]GenericUsername1326 [スコア非表示]  (4子コメント)

    Disagree with it in what sense? I was going through the steps one of my friends went through to report his domestic violence and rape. He was literally laughed out of the station by the officers there. He's almost killed himself several times now and is unable to get really any help with it.

    [–]Peatmoss613 [スコア非表示]  (2子コメント)

    I just disagree with the being laughed at by the police. I just cannot imagine that happening.

    [–]GenericUsername1326 [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

    I wouldn't have either if I hadn't gone with him. Don't ever move to Indiana. There's many reasons I got out of there when I could, that is only one.

    [–]Peatmoss613 [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

    Fuck, really!?! I would never have imagined it. I do hope your friend gets the help he needs. Take care

    [–]Peatmoss613 [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

    I just disagree with the being laughed at by the police. I just cannot imagine that happening. Also my disagreeing does not minimize your friends experience.

    [–]thestillnessinmyeyes 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

    I keep seeing this exact post being parroted in different grammar on this topic, and the news articles all link back to the same one article source. Does anyone have any info on either story?

    [–]Oo_deliciosa -1ポイント0ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Erin Pizzeria admitted that she doesn't actually know if feminists poisoned her dog. She made lots of other enemies in her work - namely abusers.

    [–]DogPawsCanType[S] [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

    Oh dear, I just noticed that, yes it was supposed to be an exclamation mark, fat fingers on mobile.

    [–]lyracygnus 64ポイント65ポイント  (0子コメント)

    obviously?? how is this a question

    [–]FiveGuysAlive 44ポイント45ポイント  (10子コメント)

    Are you just posting the article or really questioning it as a good thing for equality?

    [–]cool. coolcoolcool.Mad_Jester -1ポイント0ポイント  (9子コメント)

    It's a loaded question from someone who has concluded all feminists deny male rape and is working backwards from that. Much like how conspiracy theorists operate.

    [–]FiveGuysAlive 10ポイント11ポイント  (8子コメント)

    Wait huh? What are you talking about.

    [–]so basicJames_Locke 32ポイント33ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Who asks that question? Its not just a good thing for equality, its a good thing for humans.

    [–]CobaltFrost 27ポイント28ポイント  (1子コメント)

    I think the OP posed this as a question just because the original post of this story on r/worldnews has a lot of negative assumptions about the actual reactions of users here. It was probably meant to promote discussion (since I know there has to be at least one person with legitimate grievances against a male-only rape centre) but clearly the wording came off as dense rather than curious.

    [–]PipPipCheerioSon -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

    The thread over at worldnews is a pit of a shit pit. There are very long strings of comments that are highly upvoted that are masquerading as commentary on domestic violence/rape services for men but are actually slants at 'feminism' and women.

    [–]Oo_deliciosa 24ポイント25ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Pretty much no one here is going to see this as a bad thing.

    [–]DConstructed 8ポイント9ポイント  (7子コメント)

    Of course. The pity is there isn't one in a large country like America.

    Sweden is small and I'm not sure what percentage of assaults happen against males there.

    I do know of at least one guy here in the US that was raped by another man when he was younger. It took him years and lots of therapy before he could date anyone.

    Here there are so many people that the there's a likelihood that any center to aid men who have been raped would have more than enough to keep them busy.

    And I have no problem with it being male centric (someone said below that elsewhere on reddit they posited that some people might). I think it's a great idea because not every guy is going to feel comfortable discussing an assault with women around. Or he might want other guys that have had the same experience as confidants. It's a subject that makes one feel very vulnerable.

    [–]speaks_in_redundancy 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I think the benefit of having a male centric shelter would be that you would see lots of people in your situation. One reason people say that men don't come forward is because they feel that no one will believe them that they were raped as a male. This is also common amoung women survivors (I hear) and it helps them to have a women only space that feels safe.

    [–]ohrobo 22ポイント23ポイント  (14子コメント)

    Leave it to Sweden to be the first to the table with this. I thought America was supposed to be the best country in the world to live in?

    Come on, Americans. We need these too. Mens' shelters as well.

    [–]Derpinaplzdontstalkmeibite 17ポイント18ポイント  (0子コメント)

    On social issues the good ol US of A is way behind most of the modern world. Look at how much family leave is provided to us vs basically the rest of the world.

    It's shameful.

    [–]Turd FergusonBigBizzle151 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Sexual assault against men is still treated as a punchline. Nearly anytime someone going to prison is brought up, you get a host of offensive jokes about picking up soap/dealing with 'Bubba'. We're a long way off from having this sort of thing in the US.

    [–]LietusRain 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

    America is one of the furthest behind when it comes to social issues in the modern and Western world. It's so bad it is embarrassing in my opinion.

    [–]BigBucket-o-Nope 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I know it's just a TV show, but this clip from The Newsroom had accurate stats when it was filmed. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wTjMqda19wk

    [–]MissRepresentation -5ポイント-4ポイント  (8子コメント)

    We have these in America. This is literally NOTHING new. There are already plenty of men's shelters in America right at this very second. Unfortunately, I was downvoted elsewhere in this thread for pointing this out because it goes against the Reddit "men are always oppressed victims" hive mind.

    [–]yottskry 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

    You're being downvoted because you are outright lying. The links you provide do not back up your claim. They link to rape centres that provide some information for men and suggest that male victims make themselves safe but they do not provide any sort of shelter.

    [–]LazarusRekt 2ポイント3ポイント  (6子コメント)

    It's not a men's shelter. It's a men's rape victim centre.

    [–]MissRepresentation -3ポイント-2ポイント  (5子コメント)

    Once again, we already have those in America.

    [–]LazarusRekt 2ポイント3ポイント  (4子コメント)

    Oh, can you give an example? I wasn't aware.

    Edit: Not being snarky, I honestly haven't heard of any.

    [–]yottskry 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

    There aren't any. The links (s)he keeps providing do not back up the claim.

    [–]LazarusRekt [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

    Yeah I just had a look, there's only one rape victim centre out of the three links, and it's definitely not a male-specific one. Not sure if she even looked at the pages.

    [–]MissRepresentation -4ポイント-3ポイント  (1子コメント)

    http://rapecrisiscenter.com/index.php?id=male-rape

    http://www.mtryrapecrisis.org/get-help/men

    http://mobile.barcc.org/help/resources-online/male/

    [–]LazarusRekt [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

    http://rapecrisiscenter.com/index.php?id=male-rape

    • There are no male rape victim centres on that page.

    http://www.mtryrapecrisis.org/get-help/men

    • This isn't a male rape victim centre.

    http://mobile.barcc.org/help/resources-online/male/

    • Same as no.1, there're no rape victim centres on this page.

    Did you just pull the first three pages from a Google search?

    [–]iconremedy 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Yes, why is this a question?

    Most rape crisis centres provide help for men as well as women, at least where I'm from.

    Well that was before the Tories stopped the funding and it had to close.

    [–]That's no moon!antisocialmedic 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I have no idea how it could possibly be a bad thing. The more resources for crime victims, the better, IMO.

    [–]LazarusRekt 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Definitely, though I'm honestly shocked it's the first of its kind in the WORLD. It's 2015 now - how are we still so backwards?

    [–]Brooks148 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I hope it becomes a trend, we need this in my country.

    [–]PM_me_for_anal_sex 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Jesus it's about time. Surprised (and a little upset) people would question such a thing.

    [–]daynur 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Why is this a question?

    [–]Peatmoss613 [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

    Here in Toronto, they're having to get the money for one through private donations. The government won't provide cash and corps won't touch it with a ten foot pole. Maybe this will begin to help the west implement this kind of help.

    [–]Kap06 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Of course. This video comes to mind https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikd0ZYQoDko

    [–]HelloMoonMan 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    So glad this exists! We really need more of these here in America. I'm surprised we don't already tbh.

    [–]Bongloads4Breakfast 3ポイント4ポイント  (5子コメント)

    Agood thing for equality?

    Absolutely not. If we're gonna have any sort of equality around here, we need more men raped with less centers to go to...

    Was that a real question?

    [–]northbrancher 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

    How I pray to satan this comment is sarcastic

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      [–]descuidadojose 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

      i'm going to assume for your benefit that you have either autism or some form of aspergers or another neurological atypicality that would make such a response understandable. He/She was being sarcastic. That is indicated by the phrases, "we need more men raped", and "... Was that a real question". They are not advocating for male rape. If they were then yes your response would be appropriate.

      [–]♡Kandierter_Holzapfel -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

      There are enough people who write thinks that look sarcastic but mean it seriously.

      [–]falsedisinfo -3ポイント-2ポイント  (6子コメント)

      canada tried this once. except the guy who was trying to open the shelter was being harassed and his efforts sabotaged by your local feminists. he then killed himself.

      go sweden!

      [–]TheBotanistMendoza 10ポイント11ポイント  (5子コメント)

      Earl Silverman? He did open his shelter (in his home), successfully took in male victims, was endorsed by the government and received grants from the government for sheltering male victims. And he did kill himself, after being by all accounts deeply depressed for the past two decades or more. I've never heard of him being "sabotaged by local feminists."

      Or are you talking about someone else?

      [–]falsedisinfo 1ポイント2ポイント  (4子コメント)

      not only did feminists actively protest against funding his center, but he was ridiculed and turned away from support programs for victims.

      “When I went into the community looking for some support services, I couldn’t find any. There were a lot for women, and the only programs for men were for anger management,” Mr. Silverman told the Post shortly before his death. “As a victim, I was re-victimized by having these services telling me that I wasn’t a victim, but I was a perpetrator.”

      Mr. Silverman closed his shelter last month, saying he could no longer afford its upkeep. He long sought funding from provincial and federal governments to help run his hybrid shelter and home, but believed he was always refused because the space was dedicated to helping male victims and their children. He said he was unable to pay for heat and grocery bills.

      Mr. Silverman ran the sanctuary out of his own funds, failing to raise significant amounts from either government or private donations.

      i love how you trolls like to constantly pretend that these things never happen and are only paranoid conspiracies stemming from misogynists, despite documented examples proving otherwise. not unusual for feminists to marginalize the problems men face though, i guess. keep up the good fight TheBotanistMendoza

      [–]TheBotanistMendoza 2ポイント3ポイント  (3子コメント)

      There's nothing in there about feminists. You may want his depression and suicide to be feminists' fault, but that doesn't make it so.

      Is there some new troll tactic of calling users who post facts trolls?

      [–]tofu_pillow 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

      No, apparently they call you 'princess'!

      [–]Ice_Pirate 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

      Good thing I suppose given the current circumstances on how things are presently. It would be even better to have a one stop shop for anyone. I wish we were more egalitarian but that never really happens. Part of the human condition perhaps?

      [–]DogPawsCanType[S] [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

      They could call it The One Stop Rape Shop!

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        [–]Oo_deliciosa 2ポイント3ポイント  (23子コメント)

        You think Reddit treats female rape victims well either?

        Since the sub is a default, yeah, you get the assholes, but this is one of the few subs where mods enforce rules against assholery (literally in the side bar).

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            [–]heatheranne 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

            A person in another thread who isn't on the ban list here has announced that we banned them.

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              [–]ohrobo 11ポイント12ポイント  (11子コメント)

              No, that doesn't happen. Obviously fabricated stories that are meant to mock the issue of female rape, sure, but not real rape stories. Two days ago a man came here with a story about his girlfriend raping him and the response was almost all positive, though realistic. He wasn't banned.

              Besides that, I hate to inform you, but this isn't a subreddit for men's rape issues. It's called TwoXChromosomes. It's for women and specifically, womens' issues. It's right there in the sidebar. Rapes that happen to men are terrible, but it's not the responsibility or the mission of this sub to deal with that issue. The men that come here without an agenda to undermine our sub are welcomed enthusiastically and supported, but you are right that they are under a lot more scrutiny simply due to the nature of the sub. Trust me, it's easy to weed out the ones who are just gaming the sub for the lulz. They invariably make an asinine post and are subsequently banned, but it's not because anyone is trying to silence their issues or deny them help.

              [–]GoldenHairedGod -4ポイント-3ポイント  (10子コメント)

              The side bar and the FAQ both stress that this is a welcoming place for everyone, not just women. I guess you disagree with that.

              While the community is under no obligation to offer support for male rape victims, it seems a bit odd that the supposed accepting and tolerant community can't be a place for victims to turn while hatesubs like mensrights can and are.

              What exactly do you mean by "positive, though realistic"?

              Who decides which stories are real and which ones are ''mocking female rape''? If a mans anger and confusing following his abuse triggers in him some aggressive comments or some generalizations about his abusers gender, as is common, will he be judged as ''mocking female rape'' and banned? Just trying to get a handle on how things work here, I'm assuming there's no one checking threads about female rape to make sure they're not just there to mock male rape?

              [–]ohrobo 9ポイント10ポイント  (9子コメント)

              The side bar and the FAQ both stress that this is a welcoming place for everyone, not just women. I guess you disagree with that.

              No, the sidebar says that the topics to be posted here are those that concern women, are about women, or are otherwise female-oriented. Male rape doesn't fall under that umbrella unfortunately, unless you are claiming that rape is really only a "womens'" issue in which case you are the one mocking those men you purport to defend. Everyone being welcome to join the conversation does not equal "everyone's issues unrelated to the condition of being XX" are up for discussion. Most of the time they are left alone. Those few times when it's obvious men are just here to troll? Deleted and banned, and that's the reason. This thread and its poster hasn't been banned, though. Guess why? It's a good discussion that the mods don't have an issue with. It's not directly related to women, but no one is freaking out over it and by your own admission you didn't get the response you expected. So lighten up, yea? Women aren't the enemy here.

              What I meant by "positive, but realistic" was that while everyone agreed it was a rape and should be reported, they cautioned him that he might get some pushback from the authorities. Women are often disbelieved, and we all felt it would likely happen to him as well. It was more preparing him for what to expect.

              And obviously, the mods decide ultimately what content belongs here and is appropriate and what isn't. This is their sub, and their rules. There are literally hundreds of other subs for you to join if you don't like the way this one is run. You could even start your own sub for men if that's what you want to do.

              Don't try to force this sub to be something it probably isn't. I really wish the mods would take it out of the defaults. It's caused more harm than good and a lot of folks believe that invading this space is not only their right, but their responsibility because we shouldn't have a place to discuss issues that affect or have to do with women, because sometimes things also happen to men. And that sucks.

              [–]GoldenHairedGod -3ポイント-2ポイント  (8子コメント)

              Women aren't the enemy here.

              /r/twoxchromosomes is not "women". By criticizing this subreddit in am not criticizing an entire gender, let alone calling anyone ''the enemy''. Don't just call me sexist because you don't like what I have to say.

              Also the faq stresses that you do not have to be XX for this sub to be relevant to you. ''Male rape'' can still very much effect those who identify as women, so it can be more relevant then you think.

              But yes, this thread hasn't been deleted and most comments are positive, clearly this place has done some growing up since I was chatting with male rape victims and sharing stories about reactions in different places. Maybe it was becoming a default sub that did it, that way it's really a space for discussion relevant to all women, not just those who have a special interest in defining themselves by their chromosome count.

              [–]ohrobo -1ポイント0ポイント  (7子コメント)

              Don't just call me sexist because you don't like what I have to say.

              You know, backhanded compliments aren't really compliments, and I didn't use the word sexist in any of my replies. You are looking for a bogeyman where there just isn't one and I sense that might irritate you.

              I don't know what you were hoping for out of this exchange. I know bad things happen to men. I don't deny that and I feel terribly for men that are victims of crimes. That doesn't mean that this entire sub needs to change its purpose or mission. You can start a sub for male rape victims since you are so concerned with it. It would be a great place for men to get support. This can be that place in specific circumstances and as the moderators and community see fit, but it's not the responsibility of this sub to tackle the issues of male rape.

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                  [–](ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥carlinha1289[M] -1ポイント0ポイント  (4子コメント)

                  If you wish to participate in our subreddit, please read the rules in the sidebar first. Thank you.

                  [–]GoldenHairedGod 2ポイント3ポイント  (3子コメント)

                  I did, which rule did I break? I will fix it.

                  [–](ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥carlinha1289 -2ポイント-1ポイント  (2子コメント)

                  Cross posting and being rude/snarky. Besides, I'd recheck the post you were cross posting, seems like that user had his subreddits confused.

                  [–]fuc_boi 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Yes