A Deaf American woman’s response to a fellow passenger’s assumptions about her deafness has gone viral on Facebook.
Dawn Elaine was asked why she wasn’t speaking and was told to use her voice by the passenger, as they communicated in written notes.
He then told her she should get a cochlear implant.
Here’s her account of what happened and how she replied, which she uploaded on Facebook:
I’m here at Minneapolis Airport, a 3-hours layover.
I’ve a story to share.
On the flight from Dulles, a guy was sitting next to me. A casual wearing guy. He’s an Asian. We minded our business as I was engrossed into a “Yes Please” book by Amy Phoeler.
An excellent book, by the way.
When a stewardess came by for drinks, I mouthed ‘Sprite, no ice, please.’
The casual wearing guy ordered orange juice.
Then, he wrote something on a napkin. The note was then placed on my lap (it was strange, nevertheless).
The dialogue began:
Him: Hi, why aren’t you speaking? Use your voice.
Me: I’m deaf.
Him: Get a chochlear implant. Sad not able to hear.
Me: I’m fine with it. I’m good, thank you. (I was annoyed)
Him: You are deaf. Need cholear implant. Important. My deaf cousin have Colchester implant.Okay. I was extremely annoyed.
Me: Do you work at a nail salon?
Him: (puzzled look) No, why do you say that?
Me: Well, not all deaf people have or get CI. So, not all Asians work at nail salons.*silence* Then, he closed his eyes for the rest of flight.
You can see the notes below:
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Sandra Dowe
October 14, 2015
Good response – what quick wit!
Barbara
October 14, 2015
I think it’s a shame she had to resort to a racial stereotype to make her point. I assume his cousin who is deaf and wears a CI and probably Asian doesn’t work in nail parlour or maybe they do. Why didn’t she just explain about the differences between deaf people?
Sid
October 14, 2015
I have to agree with Barbara and Elaine should have been more cordial. Typical American attitude and behavior.
Zoe
October 14, 2015
Ah yes, remark that she shouldn’t have resorted to a racial stereotype, then immediately resort to an ethnic stereotype. Nice.
Joseph
October 14, 2015
Most Deaf are very blunt and straight to the point kind of people. Deaf don’t like being told there is something wrong with them or need to change something. Most people around the world view Deaf/deaf as handicapped at the least and less than a person at it’s worst.
It probably wasn’t the nicest way to respond, but it was effective.
Rosie Malezer
October 14, 2015
Brilliant retort. Audistic people really peeve me. They see we are Deaf and presume to know what is best for us, like we are lost little children who need them to hold our hand.
Being HEARING is not normal. Having a soul and treating people like people is normal… although not so much in today’s world, sadly. People are branded, shot and killed for being themselves.
Kudos to her for using a similar comparison (laughing at all the people saying she was rude and racist). He was audist… she sunk to his level and good on her. BRAVO !! ^_^
Joseph
October 14, 2015
I am hearing myself, but I am aware the plight Deaf endure from most hearing people. Her response to him was a perfect reflection of the assumption he made about her. Not nice, but she made her point.
Sybil
October 14, 2015
I’m sorry? You think SHE was being rude? He interrupted her peaceful book-reading flight to tell her that she should have invasive surgery without so much as asking her name first?
Hilarious.
She has as much right to privacy as anyone else. The fact that she wears/ doesn’t wear hearing aids or has/doesn’t have a CI is because she made a personal decision, probably after much thought and research- and maybe, just maybe, she’s comfortable being Deaf -and this guy can’t even be bothered to get to know her a little before saying “you need CI”??
If she WAS rude, it was because he presented that behavior first- she may have thought that was the only language he could understand.
Kudos, Elaine, from a fellow ‘ugly American’ tired of dealing with the audists.
Dawn
October 14, 2015
I am very much aware of my stereotypical response, but that did not give him the right to press the issue with me when I was clearly fine with being deaf and “…thank you” was my way of ending the conversation. I was annoyed. He pressed on. Sometimes one needs a cold hard slap in the face to prove a point. If you find my response to be offensive, I make no apologies for it. I’m tired of typical response from hearing people thinking it’s okay to go-over-the-top with a deaf individual who is fine being deaf. He was disrespectful in the first place. Each to our own.
Rosa Mazzitelli
October 14, 2015
I agree Dawn! 100% ☺
Barbara
October 14, 2015
Dawn, lots of people would’ve handed back the napkin and ignored the guy. He should just mind his own business. Some however, like you did on this occasion, choose to engage. I get it – sometimes you just end up responding to things like this. What concerns me though, is that you shifted the subject from deafness ( he did reference his deaf cousin ) to race even though you don’t know his ethnic background – I mean Asia is a hugely culturally diverse place. I don’t believe you would have responded to a similarly misguided white person in the same way because you’d know race was clearly irrelevant.
Joseph
October 14, 2015
Her asking the question without knowing his background is the point! He assumed in the same way so she showed him how it feels.
Jason
October 15, 2015
If she ignored it as you suggested, an opportunity to educate him and ensure that he doesn’t do this again would be lost.
H B
October 14, 2015
Both parties share similar handwriting. I think she wrote it all. Not impressed.
PhatKat97
October 14, 2015
Barbara, the question is, why does she owe him an explanation of the difference between deaf people? His attitude was paternalistic and ablist, so she replied in the same tone. Mind you, AFTER telling him she was fine with the way she was, politely.
Don G.
October 14, 2015
I would have commented after his initial “sad not to have a cholear implant” “sad not to be able to spell (or have a brain)”
Holly B.
October 14, 2015
Maybe I am the only one who noticed: Both handwritings are the same. Dawn must be having a conversation with herself. I am not impressed.
Tim
October 14, 2015
So the guy was rude, arrogant and presumptuous to a Deaf person who was just minding her own business? Sounds like he deserved a taste of his own medicine – and that’s exactly what he got.
Some people think that Deaf people have to constantly justify themselves. We don’t.
Joseph
October 14, 2015
The other thing is most people don’t know how to react to blunt and straight-forward responses. They are used to all the sugar-coated nonsense that most of society uses.
Chucklehead
October 14, 2015
LOL @ the “experts” who think the handwriting is all by the same person. It clearly isn’t. Move along, kiddies.
Trek MCS
October 14, 2015
Wow. I would punch that guy .
Kris
October 14, 2015
I really think this was a language barrier issue. He was asian, he was really just trying to be polite and help her. I don’t think he was trying to be mean. I think it just came across that way.
Debbie
October 15, 2015
Well, I call BS anyway. This woman is having a conversation with herself. If a forensic handwriting expert looked at these they will absolutely tell you it’s the same writing. Attention seeker at best.
Julie Friske
October 15, 2015
I have a deaf step daughter and I have met her friends an spoke who sermons said by the pastor so the could understand. I was never thought to sign even though I asked many times . It has been my experience that some deaf people do not want family to know Als but demand interpreters . Some even fake being mute for attention. I knowhow I fought some doing it.. I am not perfect. I am fat my spin is crouched and I have a kidney transplant. I am disabled . But since I am not in a wheel chair people do not see my disability. Just as deaf Don’t show there’s. The kinder thing to do when being aske” why Don’t you talk.write I am deaf. Why Don’t you get a CL.explain not all deaf can get CL . Google it it is fascinating . Or explain why y out can’t get one. A bit of knowledge is better than a cocky comment. Kidney transplants : Not everyone can get one I had polycystic Kidneys and was able to have one people with kidney cancer can not unless they have showed no cancer for five years, some never can. I have had mine for 13 years I am blessed many only last 5 to 7 years. Did you know dialysis removes not just water but tokens from your blood.. after a while you do not even pee. Then if you have a transplant you can.. You only get one kidney. So you only ha e 50% or less function it is not like new. Kind of like a used car it has its quirks but it is new to you. If you would u ‘d like to know more Google. Kidney Transplant look up transplant anti rejection meds. Or pm me. Just like Thumper said if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say anything at all.
Tim
October 15, 2015
After she wrote “I’m fine with it. I’m good.Thank you”. He could have left as that, but no. kept on pushing the subject. Epic response by the deaf woman.