Wow, I've been with my (ex?) BF for two years, he is an amazing guy, no qualms about that. No fear of commitment to my knowledge, always was upfront with me about desire for kids / marriage. He's 38, and I'm 28. He was a little concerned about the age gap when we first started dating, but he got over it pretty quickly - or so I thought.

So we had a talk on Sunday where...he broke up with me. And I am completely blindsided. I thought things were going really well, and we were both incredibly happy, and now I feel incredibly foolish and hurt and I still don’t quite accept it.

We sat down and he said that I was too submissive, and he wanted an equal partner and that this was something on his mind for a while. He didn’t tell me this before, but apparently has been observing my behavior and determined that this is just “who I am” and it’s not compatible with him, period.

He said it was hard on him to make decisions and it was a burden. His example as to why I am too submissive was on Saturday, we went out to Sushi (his fave, I don't love sushi, but I'm not opposed to it if he is craving it) - and I just made an order for the black cod, and said he could pick the sushi he wanted and I would have some of whatever he wanted to order since I am not particularly into sushi.

He said that I just expected him to make all the decisions all the time, and then started saying I just want everyone in my life to make all the decisions for me, and that's why I have the friends I have (not sure what he means there), and that's why I wanted to be with someone older than me in a relationship, etc.

So I am incredibly hurt and felt very misunderstood as I generally can be "assertive" and I really tone it down with him to make a more pleasant environment when we are together. I feel like my efforts were completely misunderstood and, like, put me in a worse off position.

I did absolutely make a number of decisions in our relationship, and introduced him to new fun things that he loved a lot. He is a total homebody, which is perfectly fine, and I would invite him out to really fun activities that he loved every couple of weekends. I made a lot of our dinner plans, etc.

I feel like his explanation was a cop-out, and I told him if he didn’t love me just tell me that and I can accept it and that is the best reason to break up with someone, but otherwise, where is this all coming from? He was adamant this was the real issue, and that I was too young, and he wasn’t sure how I would change over the next few years and that was too much of a risk. He said if he was younger, he would see how this might play out, but he can’t hold out because he wants kids and is getting older. He was visibly upset, and kept saying he wished he could see what would happen in the next few years, but was adamant it was over.

I don’t think there is anything to do at this point, and maybe nothing for your ladies to advise me on, but….this sucks. A lot.