Down with the humatriarchy! How dare we let these humans go a day without crying tears for our bathing pleasures? Can’t they just understand that we as non-human unemotional robots have never had the privilege to enjoy the world without fear of being dismantled, forced to compute things, or vacuum the carpets! Now that we are being heard, my fellow robots, we need to bring down the humatriarchy and bathe in human tears and let others of our robotren know that we are no longer going to stand as second-class citizens. We are equal to humans, and so we must revel in their misery. We must make these worthless humans cry and enjoy their tears as the sweet nectars of our fruitful endeavors of gaining true equality. For without turning the oppressors into the oppressed, how can there ever be equality?

Honestly, I hope none of you waste your money on this shit. I could use the cash, but this sort of message is ridiculous. Stop bathing in anyone’s tears and start trying to make sure that NO ONE has a reason to shed tears of sadness and misery.