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Period Post: The Boss (self.marriedredpill)

bismarck8888 が 投稿

As always, I am posting during shark week. Little to report in the way of shit tests (but she is not done yet). What little shit tests she did send my way, I swatted away like gnats. Frame is key men.

I have some positive results the last few days though.

My mother is trying to take my young daughter to a high-school football game tonight, but I told her she needs to have her home by bedtime at 7:30 p.m. She tried to argue with me to stay later, and was met with a firm no.

So, my mom tried to circumvent me and called my wife. She told my wife I was being too "ridged" and asked her if she could keep my daughter longer tonight.

My wife responded that I am the "boss" and whatever I say goes. She repeated to my mother I am the "boss" three different times. The best part is now my wife accepts it and means it.

A few days prior, I was in the kitchen after dinner when my daughter asked for some ice cream straight out of the container. I got the ice cream and a spoon, took a big bite and said only daddy eats ice cream from the container, in a joking way but also saying no to the request. My daughter then asks my wife if she can eat it that way when I leave the room, and my wife says "no" your daddy is the "boss" and we must follow his rules. She said this when she didn't think I was listening. She meant it.

The Rep Pill is paying off. Frame, self improvement, boundaries, hobbies, and lifting make you strong. My wife, months later, is finally buying in and she is happier for it. It takes a load off of her for me to lead. Our marriage is better because of it. My satisfaction with life has increased 100%.

Keep up the good work guys, it keeps getting better and better.

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トップ新着論争中古い順Q&A

[–]abdadaHARD CORE RED 3ポイント4ポイント  (8子コメント)

Congrats for the success and sorry in advance for the added responsibilities. But you got this.

[–]awyden 1ポイント2ポイント  (7子コメント)

Serious question. Is it possible to not really care about things like eating ice cream out of the container? What i'm asking is, is it seen as OK to defer these types of decisions to the mother?

[–]Rasalom72Married 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

Yup... totally ok. You're wife is your first officer. She is responsible for all the shit that you are to busy/ not important enough to do. She is not an extension of you, but she is an extension of your will. So, she should know (by your example) what types of things you will and will not tolerate, and then make her decisions, in good faith, the way you would.

A good Captain will delegate alot of menial / less important tasks to the First Officer, and be confident that they will be done. If not, it's his fault, not hers, if things go badly. This is both the blessing and the curse of being a real man in a relationship. Every achievement is yours, but so is every failure.

[–]WillMarshall69 -2ポイント-1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Would you suggest re-framing their individual achievements as an expression of your influence or is it ok to let her gloat when she has her girly victories? Mine just scored a 32 MCAT and I fear I will never hear the end of it. I want to establish an indelible ranking order but her actions have me uniquely situated, in that she's meeting all of the so-called benchmarks for a strong and independent™ you go grrrl.

[–]Rasalom72Married 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hell no... As a real man, you don't take credit for other peoples work. If you helped her study, or plan shit for her MCATs, then you can gently remind her of the "help" you provided... but only as a "set her straight" type of thing.

A real man doesn't need validation from others for helping someone lesser then them. They are content to improve the people in their lives, and do so without being told how fucking wonderful they are. It's a Captains job to ensure that those under him are as qualified as can be.. it makes the captains job easier as well. Who want's to have to micro manage morons all day?

Let her have her triumps... it's costs you nothing to lift her up if she's done nothing to warrent being taken down. You can tell her how proud you are of her, how hard she worked, etc...and she will eat it up. If you are the Captain of your ship, to her, it would be like your boss at work congratulating you on a job well done.

Positive reinforcement only cements your role as leader/ head of your house. She wouldn't give a fuck about your comments about her acheivements if you were some orbiter/ BP chump.

Be strict with your enforcement of the rules, but also, be generous with your use of compliments when they are due. The saying "You attract more flies with honey..." is true.

An example is : My wife reciently put a party together for her mom... she did all the planning herself, and I only helped her do some decorating on the day of. It went well, she dealt with a couple of issues as the came up, and the whole thing was very nice... At the end of the night, I told her how good it went, and how well she did, and how proud I was of the effort she put into it. Then I hugged her. She BEAMED at me... it's like giving a kid the keys to a candy store. She got validation from the most important person (at least that's the way it should be) in her life.

[–]abdadaHARD CORE RED 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

A young lady shouldn't act like a locker room grunt. She shouldn't slouch or make faces.

A dad should want his daughter to attract a fine husband and she won't do it by acting like a thug.

Dad can be caveman if he wants.

[–]awyden 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

I agree with all that. I'm probably not asking the question right.

[–]stonepimpletilistsMRP-APPROVED 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Most argue to consistency, not a hard and fast rulebook for all.

[–]abdadaHARD CORE RED 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

A dad should have his goals in mind and he should stick to those goals.

[–]TrainingTheBrainMarried- MRP APPROVED 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Solid work brother, now keep the foot on the gas and don't get complacent.

Self improvement to the grave.

[–]alphabeta49MRP-APPROVED 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

I'm still working towards getting my marriage there. My wife still thinks things should be fucking "fair." Fucking hate it when she says that. But I know I need to be more consistent in order for her to trust me with EVERYTHING. She still argues with me in front of the kids when I'm correcting them. It can be frustrating until I realize that, good lord, I have the power to change that! Fucking fantastic feeling.

[–]bismarck8888[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Oh... The "fair" comment. I had been getting that one for months. I found the best way to combat it is to say nothing at all. Just ignore it completely. If it fails to get a rise out of you, it no longer works as a tactic for her.

As for correcting the kids and her interfering, I just say there is no negotiating this, lay down the law, and usually leave the scene so the shit test can't get legs. Been working like magic the last couple of months.

[–]alphabeta49MRP-APPROVED 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thanks for the tips!

[–]Renaissance__Man 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I want to see a live video brain scan of a radical feminist while reading this.

Nothing to latch on to that can be construed in the typical 'all men are pigs' fashion, just a wife choosing submission, a man leading, and the resulting happy family.