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Dealing with Prejudices against RPW (self.RedPillWomen)

WhimsicalWonderland[🍰] が 投稿

Hi ladies! I'm mainly writing this post to share my feelings as well as seek advice. Sorry if this is long.

My SO and I got engaged back in late January. We are planning for a wedding in September of 2017, so we have ample time to save up and plan. Naturally, I have been looking for wedding dresses and have been looking for ways to save as much as possible (it's about the love in our relationship and not the flashy wedding, after all). I've been shopping around since February and found dresses that I liked on BHLDN. Just out of curiosity and luck, I actually found the dress that I wanted worn by another Redditor on r/weddingplanning just a few days ago, and she posted her album on the sub.

I went ahead and Private Messaged the girl asking if she'd be interested in selling her dress. To my surprise, she answered and was willing to sell the dress for the price that I suggested. After exchanging some messages, we realized that we are actually the same exact height and weight! I was ecstatic. It couldn't have been more perfect. This is like fate, right?

Well last night, I received another message in my inbox that went like this (exactly copied and pasted except I took out our names):

Hi WhimsicalWonderland, I'm just going to be level with you here - out of nothing but pure curiosity, I decided to glance through your post history. I was curious to see your other posts on weddingplanning to see what kind of event you're planning! As you probably have guessed by now, I ran into your many posts on The Red Pill Women. While I absolutely respect your opinions and right to enter into whatever kind of relationship you'd like to with you, your future husband, and your future family, the fundamental beliefs expressed in your comments and the mission of both The Red Pill Women and The Red Pill directly contrast with what I believe in and strive for in my own life. While I'm willing to let go of my dress, I simply am not able to sell it to you based on your beliefs and posts. I loved my dress and couldn't live with myself being used in a wedding that so directly goes against many values I hold very sacred. I'm sorry it can't work out. I send this message with no ill will and wish you the best of luck.

I was pretty sad after reading this. Not only because I wasn't able to get the dress, but mostly because of her judgement towards me and the rest of the RPW community. I've never treated others differently just because of their beliefs, and it hurt to realize that other people would do the same. Her message wasn't written maliciously and I believe her when she says she means no ill will. However, this is the first time I have ever experienced this prejudice against how I choose to live my own life. Furthermore, I feel like my choice to be an RPW and enter a RP relationship does not hurt others, and is just for my own happiness, so why does that matter?

One of the main reasons why I feel so hurt is because RP and RPW has helped our relationship solidify in so many ways. It was able to guideline our beliefs in an organized manner and help us understand one another as far as our feelings, beliefs, and the reasons behind any of those differences (mainly due to male and female biology). Our relationship has been through many rocky times and during the time I found RP/RPW, we were able to finally communicate and understand each other better. We would not be as happy we are today without it. I owe a lot of success in our relationship and our happiness to RP/RPW. (Thanks, girls!)

So RPW, have you ever experienced anything like this? I know that a lot of you ladies here have gotten trashed and downvoted from other subs. Have you ever experienced anything like this in real life? I don't want to question my beliefs in RP/RPW since it has helped us so much, but I hate having been treated this way. :(

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[–]StingrayVCEndorsed Woman 36ポイント37ポイント  (11子コメント)

While I absolutely respect your opinions

This is a lie. Otherwise, she'd sell you the dress. The bottom line is this, she feels she should respect your choices because that is what she has been taught, but she fundamentally does not and likely felt a level of disgust upon reading your posts because of her own beliefs. And then felt a deeper level of disgust at the thought of her dress being worn at such a wedding.

Consciously or unconsciously, she feels shame because of these feelings and wanted to write a nice respectful note to you to somehow make up for it.

I don't tell people I'm "red pill" but I've had comments made to me about my behavior and then contrary comments about how I would have a hard time understanding some things because I have such a great marriage, all the while with no connecting of the dots.

10 years from now, in your mind this will be only a dress because you'll find another one that will be great. It's the first day of your marriage and that dress will seem nothing more than a tiny blip on the first day of a fantastic marriage.

[–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 0ポイント1ポイント  (10子コメント)

Thank you very much for breaking it down the way you did. It does make me feel better that others can see that. I agree that she tried to make up for how she feels by replying nicely. I don't want to feel like I have to defend myself to her (which I haven't, but I feel like I do), because I do feel like a lot of RPW/RP is so misunderstood. Do you think there's a way to ever explain it to someone who's on the fence about RP/RPW where it wouldn't turn them off so immediately?

Would you be willing to share an example of them judging you on having a "hard time understanding some things"? I can't believe people would even say that to a person.

I wholeheartedly agree with your opinion regarding the dress. I have 2 years to find another one anyway, so not much lost there! Haha.

[–]PhantomDream097 Endorsed Contributor 9ポイント10ポイント  (7子コメント)

I'm not StingRay, but hopefully you won't mind if I chime in.

Do you think there's a way to ever explain it to someone who's on the fence about RP/RPW where it wouldn't turn them off so immediately?

Willingness to listen and the desire to change have to come from the individual in question - without either of those things, even the most eloquent and compelling explanations would be a waste of time. When someone is ready to learn, I like to ask what the most common problems in their relationships are/have been. If they talk a lot about what the other person did wrong, an easy way to change the focus is simply to ask "what are the biggest mistakes you have made in your previous relationships?" and don't let them off the hook with dismissive claims about only trusting the wrong person or being too loving. Those are cop-outs. You can also simply start out by asking what their three worst relationship habits are. Take examples from their personal life, and teach them to see things from a slightly different angle.

The best thing you can do is continue living your life and being happy. Sooner or later, people take notice and start to wonder what you know that they don't. :0)

[–]vintagegirlgame 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

I like how you ask them reflective questions. Usually the person knows exactly what's getting in their way, but they would take offense if you called them out on it.

I had a girlfriend who was puking classic man hating feminist BP splooge all over her Facebook feed, always complaining about dates and airing her man problems for all to see. I could see the red flags clearly but held back until she posted a (seemingly) sincere post asking for help. When I messaged her she pretty much called out all her own faults, saying she was too masculine and how guys don't like that. But when I agreed with her she went on a tirade attacking me and my SO and blaming all her problems on the patriarchy. Most people know what their problems are but aren't ready to do anything about it other than play the victim.

[–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

Smh... that's a classic example of her deep entitlement. What a shame that she knows what the problem is but she is unwilling to change and expects her external environment to instead.

[–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 2ポイント3ポイント  (4子コメント)

I definitely do not mind and always want to hear what you have to say!! I love your approach to explaining RPW to others who are willing to learn. I also find it so great how you and StingRay are so in sync with your responses since you guys always build upon each other's ideas. When giving advice, it's probably best to stick to advice without the RPW lingo and to put things in layman's terms as well.

Sooner or later, people take notice and start to wonder what you know that they don't.

So much this! I'm 25 and I've already had people who are not ready for LTRs ask! :D Really gives me confidence.

[–]PhantomDream097 Endorsed Contributor 2ポイント3ポイント  (3子コメント)

Thank you for the kind words, I appreciate that.

I've helped a few friends over the years, with varying degrees of success (I'll tell you up front that patience is probably the most important quality to have if you decide to help a personal friend).

I agree, /u/stingrayvc always gives impeccable advice and has some truly amazing insights. There are a lot of very thoughtful and knowledgeable ladies on this sub, and sometimes I do wish it was a bit easier to share RP ideas with non-RP focused communities. I tried for a while when I first made a reddit account, and posted on other relationship subs...it wasn't a total disaster, but it was more work than it otherwise should have been. It's amazing though, with my alt account - I get along with everyone, and people tend to agree with my advice.

[–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's unfortunate that a lot of people even agree with the advice, and even gone as far as having the advice work, but the moment they find out that it's RP, they just put up a wall. :T

I will be taking all of your advice into consideration for the future!! __^

[–]vintagegirlgame 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yep def use your RPW account only for RPW. Use a different account on all over subs. And be careful copy/pasting direct text on this sub...that got me doxed in the past. Too easy to trace exact wording.

[–]StingrayVCEndorsed Woman 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thank you, Phantom.

[–]StingrayVCEndorsed Woman 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

Would you be willing to share an example of them judging you on having a "hard time understanding some things"?

This was said to me a few years ago and I can't remember what it is was in regards to. The woman who said it to me is a great woman who is terribly blunt and didn't mean anything by it. It's just her way.

I don't want to feel like I have to defend myself to her (which I haven't, but I feel like I do)

Don't. You've done nothing wrong but work on your relationship and the fact that you have a great one is enough to show you've done nothing wrong. Live your life and be happy in it. That is all you need do as any kind of defense. She will simply see it as a weakness if you do defend yourself. There is absolutely no need.

Do you think there's a way to ever explain it to someone who's on the fence about RP/RPW where it wouldn't turn them off so immediately?

People on the fence? Absolutely. How you approach it entirely depends on their approach first. For those who are generally curious, they will ask curious questions with little to no judgement. Those you give your complete and kind answers in turn. There are those who are noticing some things but are protecting themselves with preconceived idea, argument, and snark. Those are the ones that require a far more blunt approach because it is usually all that will get through these defenses.

As for people not on the fence? No. Something needs to happen to put them on the fence for them to be able to see.

[–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yes I totally agree with not bothering with defending myself. I won't be wasting my time. :D

There are those who are noticing some things but are protecting themselves with preconceived idea, argument, and snark.

I have found this to be true almost every time. Many of them are too considered with their own "pride" to understand the dynamics and focus too much on being "equals."

[–]PhantomDream097 Endorsed Contributor 6ポイント7ポイント  (8子コメント)

It won't help you in this case - but moving forward you should have a dedicated reddit account for non-RP related activity.

I'm sorry you won't be able to get the dress from this user, but I'm confident you will find something else that you love just as much, if not more.

I don't mention RPW by name, nor do I comment or pursue conversations that I know are going to offend the people I'm talking to in social situations. I steer clear of certain topics because I'm more interested in having a good time. There's really no way you could have predicted her reaction, and it is a shame, but let it also serve as a valuable lesson. Be very careful about the details you disclose to others and always be aware of your posting history. All the best to you.

[–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 4ポイント5ポイント  (2子コメント)

I've never felt the need to create separate accounts to hide the fact that I am RPW, because tbh, I am rather proud to identify with such a hardworking and mindful community. However, after this instance, I will likely do what you are suggesting as well as a few other RPW out there who have multiple accounts. It's a shame to have to even do that.

I totally have been in the situation where I wouldn't comment because I felt like it would offend someone. Again, such as shame to have to even censor yourself because I don't feel like we would be pushing these ideals onto others.

[–]PhantomDream097 Endorsed Contributor 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

I've never thought it to be shameful, or untoward to maintain dedicated accounts (so long as the person isn't trolling and deliberately stirring up trouble). Multiple accounts allow me to maintain my privacy, as well as interact on non-RP subs without constantly having irrelevant discussions with people looking for an argument.

I don't mind keeping my opinions to myself really, I prefer to listen to what other people have to say. I already know what I think, and since I can't read minds, I like learning about others. In my personal life, I too dislike feeling as though I am foisting my views onto others, especially when they are firmly fixed on the opposite river bank. There are exceptions, and with my closest friends, no topic is off-limits, and it doesn't matter whether or not we agree. It's hard to predict how well some people will react to being disagreed with, and I don't particularly want to make anyone feel as though they've been put on the spot.

[–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

interact on non-RP subs without constantly having irrelevant discussions with people looking for an argument

This was so eye-opening to me. That's so true and I can fully understand why many RPW have chosen to keep this as a separate account.

[–]sweetkisses29 3ポイント4ポイント  (4子コメント)

i had never thought that one would need a separate account for posting in this community. i had not considered that supporting women here would be considered a poor choice, as i am a good-natured and well-meaning person (and naive with the reddit community, i suppose). thanks for the tip, phantom.

[–]PhantomDream097 Endorsed Contributor 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

There are many negative opinions on reddit about anything remotely related to Red Pill subs, it's an unfortunate trend, but definitely worth being aware of.

For more information about online safety in general, you can read this post, which is also located on the side-bar.

Take care!

[–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's EXACTLY how I feel as far as this sub being supporting for women. I've found that it has only been women who have been hating on other women too, when it came to RPW. :(

[–]sweetkisses29 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

i just want to share my support to you and many congratulations on your engagement! i love the style at anthropologie and BHLDN - and i am very excited about your dress.

i am sorry that this happened to you. it is very strange to me when someone says they respect your beliefs or choices, but clearly does not through their actions. there are many people that perhaps i don't understand their choices or beliefs, but they are good people with good intentions and i can extend empathy to try to see where they are coming from... as long as no one is being hurt, then i can still love and respect them and their beliefs no matter what.

i'm glad in some way that you have posted this because now i will create a separate account to post in the rest of the reddit community. i love the makeup and fashion forums in particular.

[–]TempestTcup10 Endorsed Contributor 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

when someone says they respect your beliefs or choices, but clearly does not through their actions.

This is why TRP says to ignore what women say and look at their actions. Most women talk pretty and act dirty. Shit-filled Twinkies :) all sweet and soft outside but pure crap inside!

[–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thank you very much!

I agree and found it really ironic that it happened. At least she didn't outwardly attack me. Lol.

I'm glad you found the comments on these posts helpful! I am going to be doing the same with separate accounts. It's just a shame that it comes down to this.

[–]Archwinger 11ポイント12ポイント  (6子コメント)

Always use an alternate account for anything that can connect you to the real world. People will ruin your life and call it justice, because people who think wrong things deserve to fail in their world.

Sad as it is, they're winning. We live in their world. Even as a red pill woman, the red pill is something you'd be better off hiding.

[–]freebumblebee 8ポイント9ポイント  (3子コメント)

Even as a red pill woman, the red pill is something you'd be better off hiding.

Not even just specific "RP" stuff. The ideas themselves--devoid of any terminology--can still cause a lot of judgment and nasty comments. For so long I thought there was something fundamentally wrong with me because I wanted to be a wife and mother and didn't have a lot of career ambition. I still struggle with accepting it myself, and people around me certainly don't accept it. As if I'm literally hurting other women by not taking their path.

[–]Archwinger 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

In their mind, you are. If word got out that it was okay to prioritize your family and play a support role that uplifts the family as a whole, rather than glorifying yourself with personal success... Man. What if one of their daughters caught wind of that and grew up normal, and happier than mom?

[–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think a lot of it is because we defer to our SOs, and that thought alone makes other women feel as if they are "equal" in the relationship. A lot of them don't take the time to fully understand the dynamic, as I can see why some people would think that it is abusive or demeaning to women. A lot of the individualistic ideals of our society have honed entitlement as the basis for a lot of people's beliefs.

[–]cxj 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

As if I'm literally hurting other women by not taking their path.

You aren't directly hurting them, but the RPW and feminist roles for women really cannot co exist peacefully in the same society. Dual income families are really hard for single income/SAHM families to compete with for things like housing markets, and feminine women are really hard for career oriented feminists to compete with in the SMP.

Like it or not, y'all really are fundamentally pitted against each other.

[–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's funny that they would call it justice when we CHOOSE this lifestyle. And as I've emphasized, it doesn't hurt others, so why do they even care?!

You can call it like they're "winning," but I'd prefer to think we are the ones winning if we are the ones who are happy. :] I find that a lot of people who judge us this way are often unhappy with their relationships. Haha.

[–]CisWhiteMaelstromTRP ENDORSED MAN 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

They're philosophy is essentially that the world operates by oppressing systems intersecting with each other. If women actually choose the red pill lifestyle instead of a feminist one then that challenges the idea of oppression. It was never about choice as much as it was about showing their ideal off as the only way.

[–]PremiumGoose 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

Sorry to hear this happened!i think most people here about TRP and think it's only pick up culture. Not realizing theirs different dynamics to everything and they clearly haven't taken more than 2.6 second a to look for themselves.

You've got a stronger constitution than I for not responding to this woman. I would've laid into her pretty heavily for it and made some comment relating it to whether or not small business owners ask the bedroom habits of their customers so they don't serve the gays.

[–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I definitely agree that they do not understand. We promote so much self improvement along with the relationship aspects that I feel we are genuinely doing a good thing.

[–]TempestTcup10 Endorsed Contributor 6ポイント7ポイント  (4子コメント)

One RPW was banned from /r/surfing and given this comment:

[–]dumbassthenes Kauai 13 points 3 days ago It's ironic that you're interested in surfing, considering you're a /r/redpillwomen[1] contributor. Surfing was always a traditionally masculine space. There was a ton of resistance to women in the lineup, and not very long ago. Thankfully, a generation of strong women with feminist mindsets (which you are opposed to) stood up for their right to be treated equally. It's really made the world a better place. However, it sounds to me like you're too weak and feminine to make much of a surfer. I'd suggest getting out of the water and getting back in the kitchen. We both agree that's where you belong, right?

RPW has nothing to do with surfing and he had the whole concept completely wrong. Even another person wrote:

[–]Deepdriller 5 points 2 days ago* I don't have any dog in this fight, but I am seriously curious: I went over to redpillwomen and read their FAQ. This is some sort of highly structured subculture. It like some sort of weird strategy for women to date a certain type of dude. But all the posts are about cooking, fashion and dating advice. What does this have to do with her posting in surfing? Why should we care where she reads/posts? Anyone know more? I never heard of this at all and the sub has like 12k subscribers. World is crazy.

I think that quite a few RPW have been banned from subs because of posting here, which is why we suggest having a RPW exclusive alt and use another in other subs.

I have no clue why making our men happy is such a threat to so many people :)

[–]CopperFox3c 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

What's incredible is that there are so many people nowadays who think that women can't do certain things, including more masculine/physical ones, without relinquishing their feminine traits. Women who are too busy trying to compete with men, rather than finding enjoyment in simply participating in activities with men.

Then they set up these false dichotomies where either women become more masculine and try to compete with men, or stay in the kitchen. Cause clearly those are the only two choices in life /s ... it's very black or white thinking.

[–]ibelieveinalias 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

What's incredible is that there are so many people nowadays who think that women can't do certain things, including more masculine/physical ones, without relinquishing their feminine traits.

This is about the only corner of the internet, though - and I have looked extensively - that recognizes this.

[–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I am pretty shocked by the first comment example. :( But at this point, I feel like anyone who disagrees with their choices makes them feel insecure and "less desirable" as a woman. Which we all know the reasons why...

[–]PremiumGoose 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

And if someone supports euthanasia they should be banned from subs dealing with childern, animales, and the elderly?/s

[–]freebumblebee 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

For reddit related stuff, I have three accounts. One I use here, one I use if I'm posting pictures/revealing information (not like gonewild but like makeup/skincare/etc), and one I use for everything else. I would love to be able to use my normal account for this place, but it's not worth people acting like her.

By the way, congrats on the engagement, and congrats on the dress choice--every single BHLDN dress I've seen has been blow-my-mind gorgeous.

[–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I have just made another account for this reason as well and taken everyone's advice. In a way though, I am happy that I won't be wearing a dress from someone who is so against what we believe in anyways.

Thank you very much! :D

[–]miss-carried 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

I haven't run into anything online, but I don't really participate in reddit as a commenter in other subs.

Offline, yes, I have experienced some judgment about my marriage and lifestyle - only from female friends. On the other hand, one of our male friends (a husband of an old female friend) actually confided to my husband and I that he wished his wife would follow suit. We live in a very ambitious, yuppie area, and it's unheard of for a childless married woman not to work. (I actually did work for many years but don't at this point. Much better for my marriage and happiness.)

I also get a lot of judgement, even from married friends, for putting my husband first. I have my own thing going on of course, but I don't have weekends or days to give away to girlfriends most of the time. I'm always available for a coffee, but that clashes with friends who live separate lives from their husbands and are more demanding!

[–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's a shame that other women can be so judgmental others who have chosen a different lifestyle. :( We're just all looking for happiness after all.

You are absolutely doing the right thing by putting your husband first. :)

[–]MentORPHEUS 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Its unwise to argue directly with ideologues, but ignoring this leaves the situation in an antagonist's frame and wastes an opportunity to plant seeds. A very useful principle I learned long ago says,

The only way to enter the citadel of another person's mind is arm in arm with the owner.

So much better to stay in your own frame; unantagonized, empathetic, and charming. Gently illuminate a path from where she is to where you are, perhaps she will start upon it.

"LOL yeah I can understand, some of it was a bit shocking to me at first too; bit of a learning curve.

My pill may be red, but my money is green. If you don't want to sell the dress to me no problem, I won't be blue. Cheers, "

Fun fact, there's a list of thousands of posters from coontown, fatpeoplehate, and TRP. It appears to be a database for a plugin that would put a "Red Pill Poster" flair by my username; I found my username on the list.

[–][削除されました]  (2子コメント)

[removed]

    [–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Yeah, I definitely agree that a lot of what we believe is kept on the downlow so that we are able to blend in with the rest of society. However, my SO has found other like-minded men who share his RP beliefs (whether they know it or not). I believe it's harder to find other like-minded women.

    [–]Camille113255 Endorsed Contributor[M] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I removed your comment because of the unnecessary inclusion of your gender, which is against the rules of the subreddit. If you delete the parenthetical I will approve your response.

    [–]pizzae 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Just say that you're a liberal feminist who is infiltrating the red pill space. I'd never say im a mgtow in real life, I'd deny it and if there was evidence, I'd say im spying for feminism

    [–]santaanasucks 4ポイント5ポイント  (4子コメント)

    Well that's Reddit for you. Open minded and tolerant unless of course you aren't part of the hive mind. It's odd she gives a shit anyway. On one of my other accounts, I sell stuff regularly and never bother to check my buyer's post history. Why would I care? Money is money and it all spends the same regardless of who it comes from.

    [–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

    That's what I usually think when it comes to business transactions. Regardless, she never had the intention to sell and only considered it when I PM'd her. I guess the money was never important to her to begin with.

    [–]santaanasucks 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

    True. And of course it's her decision. But whatever you're just a RPW. You're to dumb to understand that there's no such thing as masculine and feminine roles. Gender is just something made up by the patriarchy to oppress womyn and keep them in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant. So unless you change your ways and become a feminist, you don't deserve to buy her dress!!!

    /s (in case that wasn't glaringly obvious)

    [–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Haha this post made me laugh. When you put it that way, it is pretty hysterical.

    [–]LifeHasLag 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    And let's face it, this is like the media issue going on about wedding cakes for same sex couples. Though even worse, because this woman does not need to do anything but sell her dress, whereas the cake problem was building a symbol of same sex marriage that they were against. I scratch that; it's like the people who have refused to sell items they did not agree with in super markets. Refusing to service someone based on your own values like that is bullshit.

    [–]Katniss_GrangerEndorsed Woman 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

    :( That's so awful, it's almost laughable how it's people like her on reddit calling us the intolerant ones.

    I know it's just the internet, we should ignore it and consider it meaningless but it is pretty upsetting to try to have any kind of conversation and get "yeah well you're part of red pill so you don't count" as if the way I conduct my own personal relationship has anything to do with them. I have an alt account now, mainly because I post stuff in the knitting sub with my face in it, but we shouldn't have to, we're not doing any harm, they're the ones with the constant attacks.

    Hmph. Meanies :(

    I hope you get an even better dress :D

    [–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Thank you for your kind words! I am very confident that I will find something better! __^

    [–]cats_or_get_out 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Oh well. It's a good life lesson. If you want to influence someone's view, you now know what NOT to do.

    Congratulations on getting married! It is one of the most transformative life experiences. Since you are RPW, you are already ahead in the game. It took me years to figure that one out.

    Much love and blessings to you!

    [–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Thank you for your kind words!

    [–]Washiface 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Most people will not like something as true because they don't like the sound of it. A fact, to some people, is something that makes them feel nice and fuzzy. The red pill is not an easy pill to swallow, it's not validating. It asks for self improvement. Most people don't want to self improve, they want to just magically feel better about themselves. I don't talk about my view points hugely, I do find myself keeping quiet. Today I was eating cake and coffee with a distant aunty. She began to say that her BMI score was in the obese category, in a tone that would indicate I would be surprised (I wasn't), she then went on to say 'everybody' is in the obese category' (I'm low normal) and her husband loves her just the way she is (yeah yeah, your body shape does not affect your husbands desire at all). She said she does plenty of exercise by walking her dog round the block, when I suggested that when doctors recommend exercise they mean cardio, something that gets your heart rate up. 'Well I can't run because it's bad for your joints, I'll most likely die at 60 like my mother and father but I'm ok with that, I wouldn't want to live till 90 anyway it's not natural'. She was telling this all to herself, not to me, but that's the way most people are and are comfortable being like that. I don't talk about how I like to stay healthy or like to keep in shape because then I'll make people feel bad about themselves. Everything I think seems like it would cause conflict. So I say nothing. Most people only want to post on forums where their opinion will be validated 'yeah you're beautiful, you go girl, he's a bastard, you don't need to change'. Anything contrary to that is offensive. Just being right or honest, is enough to be offensive. I read a book called 'you are not so smart' and it details how people only read media that endorses what they already believe, not challenges their beliefs. This type of woman will be all for respecting people and honouring their opinions - as long as they're the opinions she wants to hear. People are all for freedom of speech, until someone uses their freedom of speech to say something that hurts people's feelings.

    [–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    This is sososososo true. A lot of your aunt's explanations were her self validating her reasons and giving excuses for not taking care of herself properly. It's the easier way out. I completely agree that the red pill is hard to swallow and accept because one has to set their pride aside to agree. And many people are not okay with that.

    [–]PursuingGrace 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

    I am a firm believer that folks that feel the need to tear others down for having a different mindset, are the ones that are so insecure about their own choices. If she was not worried that her own choices were so wrong, she would have no issue with how other people choose to live their lives.
    I pity people like this, because they want to try and plant a seed of discord in others, instead of taking accountability for what they may feel is missing from their own happiness. So see this as a dodged bullet. Do you really want to wear a dress on the day marked for celebrating your commitment to one another, that may have her negative energy lingering on it?

    [–]WhimsicalWonderland[S,🍰] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    You're absolutely right. Like I replied to another user, I wouldn't want to wear a dress from someone like that anyways. Especially since it directly coincides with differences in our lifestyle choices regarding our relationship.

    [–]cxj 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Just came to say

    HATURZ GONNA HATE

    and

    Keep on keepin' on

    [–]TheOuterRing 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Who gives a poop.

    This chick is entitled. She is what RP doesn't respect.

    If someone can't respect others and be happy for them, then they are suffering somewhere in there. I don't know why RP struck a cord with her, but something happened in her life that annoyed her and it ran in the vein of RP. And instead of being mature, she decided to stick it up her butt and feel entitled to this opinion.

    Prejudice against these choices don't affect me. I know I am happy, and that's all that I need. If someone wants to hate my lifestyle, then I pity them. If they need to take so much time and energy to berate my beliefs, then clearly they have more troubles than they want me to think I have. Because that's all their doing - creating problems for other people so they feel better about theirs.

    [–]SAHNM 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Chiming in on my RPW "throwaway". Although I regularly delete comments and posts on my main account, I still would never drop the words "red pill" in a thread on Reddit. I've mentioned I'm conservative and believe in traditional gender roles and it still gets a lot of negative comments, but none so bad as if I said those two magic words.

    If you want to keep having one username, start deleting your history after about a week or two.

    [–]Red_Pill_Raskol 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Behold the wild beast of Progressive Intolerance in its natural habitat. That letter she wrote you is just oozing with hypocrisy, manipulation and condescension. This kind of reaction to me means you are doing something right.