Gf just left my house after spending the night, I'm happy and content and feel this is the right time to share with you guys my story. I used to be a blood-red hardcore TRPer (different username). But this girl came into my life and turned it around.

A little background: I was an obese child and because of body image issues, never had a relationship. Even in college when I lost weight, I was unkissed virgin. No matter what I did I was fundamentally unattractive. I remember crying in the mirror and telling myself that I would die a happy man if a girl one day even held my hand.

During grad school my bitterness starts turning to anger and searching for a "reason" why I'm alone. It can't just be bad luck and chance, there has to be some malevolent force holding me back. Girls. I started to silently focus my bitterness and resentment on the women around me, make up reasons why they were sluts or bitches or stupid hoes. Anna smiled at me at work today, but that's the same mouth that's probably blown a dozen frat guys during college. Disgusting. These are the type of thoughts that went through my mind every time I interacted with women; it was a defense mechanism, a way to pretend I didn't want girls anyway.

Found the RedPill around this time, about a year and a half ago. Started reading about hypergamy, about how women were inherently weak and malleable. It made me feel strong, I felt a kinship with these angry men too. I took the Red Pill. I started to post my own fake field reports... well, they were embellishments but mostly fake. One time I remember having a good convo with a girl at the bar, and then coming home to post a field report about how she went down on me in the bar bathroom. But reality was different: all my dates and conversations with girls would fail because I was projecting alpha-ness and being a huge tool.

Last month I met a girl and for the first time, I lost frame around her. I think it was because I had the flu and wasn't on my "A-game". Well, she ended up liking me. At first it felt like being hit by bricks - I didn't try to game her but she still liked me. Wtf? As we went on dates, I kept telling myself you've gotta use RedPill tactics but I didn't, because with every date I started to see how she was a fundamentally good person and I felt horrible for considering mentally manipulating her.

By a month later (now), I realize that I've done everything the exact opposite of what TRP tells us to do.

• I asked her for a kiss the first time. Well, didn't really ask but I made it exceptionally clear and waited for an affirmative response. TRP would have said that'll dry up her vagina immediately, but guess what it didn't. She liked it.

• I told her I'm a virgin. A core tenet of TRP is that girls are disgusted by virgin guys and you should always pretend you're a pussy-slayer. But she doesn't care, in fact she's excited to teach me stuff.

• I treat her with dignity and respect. I make sure she's comfortable on dates and at my apartment. I send her little love-dovey emoticons throughout the day and talk to her about deep stuff. Redpill would say never do that, the only time you should text is either sending a picture of your dick or telling her to come over at 8:00.

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As a last resort, my TRP friends would claim she's probably fat and ugly but - guess what, she's neither. She's cute. Her "SMV" is high, as they would say. She's highly sexual too, I just got a blowjob few days ago and didn't have to use dread game or any of that shit on her.

So much for being alpha. Being "beta" (or rather, being myself) is the best decision I have ever made. It's gotten me my first relationship and, for the first time, a sense of happiness.

To be fair, RedPill is accurate sometimes. It's important to stay in shape, muscular men get most of the women. I also agree that if a man demonstrates leadership in a relationship, it helps; my gf likes it when I initiate sex and dates and stuff. In a way it's good I found the redpill, they taught me some good stuff. But the hatred toward women and the obsession with "dark triad" (ie. sociopath) really stinks up that subreddit.

Fuck the Red Pill.