Reposting my answer to /u/Whisper's post about Respect and Male Hierarchies to start a discussion on the fundamental difference in communication styles between men and women:
Men bond through focused activities in which an older and more experienced man gains respect from younger men in exchange for knowledge. This natural hierarchy is implicit in all male relationships, and allows for measured growth over time.
Women bond through sharing of personal information and the accompanying mirroring of facial expressions and emotions to encourage their conversation partner. This creates solidarity and strengthens kinship in the tribe.
When a man has a problem in his life, he asks for advice from a man he respects in order to achieve the information needed to defeat the obstacle on his own. This creates a feedback loop in which one man receives answers and the other is able to offer a solution, leaving them both happy.
When a woman has a problem in her life, she shares her frustration with a close friend to relive the moment and gain control of it. She is not looking for advice, but is trying to share the burden and stress of the moment with another woman and receive support (I'm here for you).
When men share information, the goal is usually to solve a problem or come to a mutual understanding of each other's opinions, or to simply tell an entertaining story with a point. Many men have observed that women rarely solve problems without a man's help, and instead share less vital information like who is dating who because it includes less conflict of ideas.
Problems arise between the sexes when people seek bonding across the gender divide. When a man asks a woman for advice, she tries to empathize (that sucks...) and begins to see him as weak when he becomes more frustrated (why isn't she helping?). When he tries to challenge her opinions in order to understand her values, she becomes defensive because she considers it an attack, and he considers her too sensitive.
When a woman shares her problems with a man, she is looking for support, and is instead given advice to fix the problem (why won't he just listen!), while the man is confused because his version of supportive advice was rejected (why did she even ask?).
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