全 184 件のコメント

[–]mkul316 113ポイント114ポイント  (15子コメント)

Same as the old boss

[–]Ps4beatsxbox100 31ポイント32ポイント  (12子コメント)

No he's not, the real Big Boss is rebuilding in Outer Heaven*.

[–]medhelps2 21ポイント22ポイント  (7子コメント)

Goodness, is it me or has MGSV taken over reddit?

[–]Ps4beatsxbox100 10ポイント11ポイント  (2子コメント)

Open your eyes, he's on our side!

[–]batomo0 8ポイント9ポイント  (1子コメント)

Don't you start turning against us!

[–]Mobyh 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

When the time comes...

I'll pull the trigger

[–]lehRedditArmy 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

If a boss told me to kneel I'd say have you met my katana and show him what a double bladed steel katana can do.

[–]FangornOthersCallMe 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

[–]Mobyh 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Snake are you alright? Snake?! Snaaaaaaake!!!!

[–]TAU_equals_2PI 318ポイント319ポイント  (48子コメント)

©1989

Dilbert is retirement age by now.

[–]dickensher 194ポイント195ポイント  (19子コメント)

Dilbert is a true engineer. He'll work 'til he dies.

[–]Amaegith 97ポイント98ポイント  (8子コメント)

Death is no excuse to stop working.

[–]TheLionFromZion 33ポイント34ポイント  (1子コメント)

Even in death I still serve!

[–]DasMuse 17ポイント18ポイント  (0子コメント)

The true purpose of procreation.

[–]ChickenMcThuggetz 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

I live, I die, I live again!

[–]PrettyFkinFarFromOK 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Boxer the horse has a reddit account?!

[–]MakeThemSayDerp 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

You know what they do with engineers when they turn forty?

[–]Wepp 23ポイント24ポイント  (3子コメント)

Dilbert is a true engineer American middle-class. He'll work 'til he dies.

FTFY

[–]Guyinnadark -3ポイント-2ポイント  (0子コメント)

"American"

"Middle class"

[–]modelrocketfan 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yah, but at retirement age he will quit his job and become a contractor charging 3× as much and his companies will still pay him.

[–]-Master-Builder- 18ポイント19ポイント  (6子コメント)

Born in the 80s retirement age or born in the 50s retirement age?

[–]Rocky87109 15ポイント16ポイント  (5子コメント)

What is this born in the 80s retirement thing you are talking about? It seems I barely qualify for that.

[–]-Master-Builder- 5ポイント6ポイント  (4子コメント)

The age that our parents retire at will be much younger than the age our generation will retire at.

[–]lostcosmonaut307 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

our parents retire Born in the 80s

Suddenly I feel very old.

[–]AngryMulbear 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

Today's generation will have a much longer life span

[–]PugilistMod 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Someone born in the late 80's wont have a significantly longer life span than the previous generation.

[–]acerbitas666 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It will be longer but not by that 'much'. I mean we won't live decades longer on avarage. A few years for sure but not that much to validify that we will have to be working for much longer.

[–]devilwarier9 26ポイント27ポイント  (1子コメント)

Assuming Dilbert started his job after getting his B.Eng., he would start work at 22-23. Maybe 24-25 if he got an M.Eng. 1989 was 26 years ago. That would make him 51 max. Retirement age today is about 65-70. Dilbert's got a few more years.

[–]Trus3683 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

But we don't know for sure how long Dilbert's been working! I always pictured him as a man in his 40's in these strips.

[–]Ps4beatsxbox100 16ポイント17ポイント  (7子コメント)

Big

Big Boss?

Glad to have you back, boss!

[–]batomo0 14ポイント15ポイント  (1子コメント)

Boss, could you send us on a mission? We're ready.

[–]nayRLH 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Happy Birthday, Boss!

[–]berserkuh 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

T-The thing that I like most about submachine guns is..

[–]cosmictrousers 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hey! Dilbert works as long as I work.

[–]YourKidDeservedToDie 129ポイント130ポイント  (9子コメント)

"Mr. Snow"... Is that his real name, or his given bastard name?

[–]AspiringgMage 25ポイント26ポイント  (1子コメント)

"They'll bend the knee or I'll destroy them."

[–]h3lblad3 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

"They'll Neal or I'll destroy them."

  • Mr. Snow

[–]tarsn 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Comic is from the 80s, clearly it's just a nickname due to his cocaine habit.

[–]PM_ME_YOUR_FEELINGS9 -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

In the UK we have a Jon snow on television.

[–]KkblowinKk 68ポイント69ポイント  (1子コメント)

I have dilbert stickers on my desk right now.

Unopened 90s vintage dilbert stickers. Any takers? Too bad. These are my Dilbert stickers.

[–]rob132 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

Curse your perfect marketing.

[–]MagicGorilla 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

WE DO NOT KNEEL! ... That being said, let's do Neal!

[–]Ryan_Wilson 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ooh, randy little bugger ain'tcha?

[–]mandjari 17ポイント18ポイント  (0子コメント)

Reminds me of a joke:

I met Buzz Aldrin and I thought he was really mean 'cause when I met him he was all like "I was the second man on the moon, Neil before me"

[–]sprucetrap87 126ポイント127ポイント  (42子コメント)

I just got a new boss two weeks ago. The first week, she invited us out to drink. After a few hours, we were all thoroughly intoxicated and she invited us to join her much younger brother at a different bar across town. I work with deaf staff and speak ASL. The younger brother used to work at the same site and also speaks ASL. In fact, he had met me before once when he was heavily intoxicated.

Me and my deaf friend show up to the bar across town way before anyone else. The younger brother schmoozes, saying how great it is to see the female deaf staff member. He has in fact met me before but appears to drunk to remember and does not acknowledge me. The much younger brother then must have assumed that I was also deaf since I had been speaking ASL exclusively and him and his friends begin to make joke after joke about deaf people. After he sufficiently digs his own grave, I sign to my deaf friend what he and his friends had been saying. He then signs to me, "how do you know?". I then speak and say, "I'm hearing. In fact, I've met you before." He then goes on a victim complex rant about how my deaf coworker was a "sister to him" and he would never say anything bad about them and demands that I should "leave now". I shrug and continue to drink my beer. He continues to get more and more animated and threatening, but he's drunk and thin so I continue to shrug it off.

His older sister and my new boss then shows up and he's yelling at me while I peacefully drink my beer. The deaf female friend leaves because she's tired of being made fun of and my new boss takes her younger brother aside to ask him what his issue is since he's acting drunk and belligerent.

He then gives my new boss a sob story about how I was jealous about him talking to his coworker from three years ago and I made up a story about him making fun of deaf people. He tells the same sob story about her being like a sister to him and states that all of his friends would back up his account. His friends, having been thoroughly embarrassed, have mostly left or do not involve themselves in the conversation.

My new boss then also suggests that I leave to diffuse the situation. I tell her that her younger brother is full of shit and was making fun of deaf people. She doesn't believe me. I tell her I'll be drinking outside with my friends and after half an hour, she comes outside to join us. I walk in to piss a few times and smile at her younger brother, he doesn't say shit without all of his friends to back him up. I then return to work the next week and I boss doesn't say a word. Awwwkward.

[–]kgtx 96ポイント97ポイント  (1子コメント)

That was not a satisfying ending

[–]reggaegotsoul 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

This awkward situation turned into a game of "he said, she said." No one knew who to believe and it was really awkward. Then we all pretended like we forgot about it.

Fin.

[–]mcpagal 189ポイント190ポイント  (14子コメント)

I feel like I need a diagram to understand this story.

[–]Rottendog 113ポイント114ポイント  (8子コメント)

I think it was like this.

[–]Th3vil1 18ポイント19ポイント  (7子コメント)

Mmhmm.

I understood a few words in there.

[–]falcon_jab 17ポイント18ポイント  (4子コメント)

Guys, c'mon. I mean it's not really that complex. Here, this might help.

[–]AliceInWondermall 4ポイント5ポイント  (3子コメント)

They're all connected to each other. Not a great diagram.

[–]jhs172 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

Not quite; some bubbles have nine arrows coming to them, but some only have eight. "Livelihoods & assets" is not connected to "Gender relations"; "The body" has an arrow to "Capabilities" but not vice versa; and "Organizations of the poor" has an arrow to "Social relations" but not vice versa. What this means I'm not sure.

[–]Hooch1981 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

That one-ended arrow just makes me think the person forgot to put an arrowhead there. Which then makes me wonder if the other missing arrows are mistakes or not. It would have been better to say everything is connected apart from these certain things, as that's the lower number.

Not a great diagram.

[–]LinkslnPunctuation 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not your fault, u/sprucetrap87 probably shouldn't work in linguistics if their written thoughts come across like a bad game of telephone.

[–]Aerron 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

And why it's relevant to the comic, aside from, "A new boss."

[–]C-4 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I feel like I deserve reimbursement for reading that. I mean, what pointless story.

[–]Jon2D 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

Then what happend!?

[–]EyeintheSky420 7ポイント8ポイント  (2子コメント)

Yeah, I was enthralled waiting for the conclusion and then it just ended. It was like the Sopranos all over again.

[–]Typical_ASU_Student 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

You know Tony dies at the end right?

[–]EyeintheSky420 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

TooSoon

Edit: TIL how to make words bold on reddit.

[–]Kryten_2X4B_523P 35ポイント36ポイント  (13子コメント)

We're they good jokes?

[–]I-fuck-horses 67ポイント68ポイント  (3子コメント)

[–]mechanical_animal 12ポイント13ポイント  (2子コメント)

Where art thou, good jokes?

[–]jiminiminimini 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

We're not their good jokes for you're taste?

[–]riskoooo 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Here here, I no they're jokes our better then wons were use too hearing.

[–]Shortsleevedwarrior 14ポイント15ポイント  (3子コメント)

Asking the real questions.

[–]railmaniac 13ポイント14ポイント  (2子コメント)

With bad punctuation.

[–]ooogr2i8 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

You leave him alone. He's got a good heart.

[–]Track607 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

How dare you. He's worth more than the value of his organs!

[–]ramblemn 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

When does Gloria and Jay enter this sitcom?

[–]LinkslnPunctuation 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

You probably shouldn't work in linguistics if your written thoughts come across like a bad game of telephone.

[–]DeuceSevin 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

So, there was this one time at Band Camp...

[–]beanerlong 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I thought I was reading a TIFU.

[–]Daydreamer24 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Haha this literally happened to a boy I worked with so funny.

[–]TSR3K 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Dilbert is top post now? Dafuq

[–]Raas_mogul 27ポイント28ポイント  (8子コメント)

Why does he say contact lens? I'm not getting it

[–]UnluckyLuke 74ポイント75ポイント  (2子コメント)

He's pretending he kneeled to look for his contact lens

[–]fiddy_doge 92ポイント93ポイント  (1子コメント)

Another point of this joke is that Dilbert wears glasses.

[–]JollyWhiskerThe4th 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

who's dilbert, was there a dilbert

[–]CatConfectionary 36ポイント37ポイント  (0子コメント)

Because he's pretending that he's kneeling to find a dropped contact, not because he originally thought his new boss commanded him to kneel... the joke is that he wears glasses.

[–]JVortex888 -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

Don't worry it's still not funny even if you get it.

[–]Intanjible 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Good thing the bosses' names weren't Neal and Bob.

[–]Satrical 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Never did understand why his tie always stands up...

[–]mel_to_the_core 8ポイント9ポイント  (2子コメント)

General "Mr. Snow" Zod, Regional Manager

[–]defnotthrown 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

Hehe, I do enjoy the thought of someone being name "Neal Zod".

(what's with the few unreasonably downvoted comments? Downvote bot tests?)

[–]Derkatron 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

'Oh, so that's Zod, Neal?'

'No, no, no. Neal BEFORE Zod.'

[–]cornette 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've made my choice.

[–]Zalamander 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

And that is why Dilbert is still in the cubicles.

[–]PHPun 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

The economy is always in crisis. Or never in crisis, depending on your PoV.

[–]-Obito- 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

You know nothing, Neal Snow.

[–]shadecrawler 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Them legs, tho!

[–]edwardp782 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

so clever and funny!

[–]PM_TITS_FOR_RATINGS 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

His tie has a boner

[–]ShahabJafri 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

How's he getting the underline while speaking?

[–]Narcolonblow 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Don't go into debt. Don't reproduce. Then you won't have to live as a slave.

[–]kazmicool 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

same like my boss

[–]MRNieNie 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Idk why, but it took me 5 mons to find the joke. facepalm

[–]call_of_the_while 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

Snow probably uses that pun all the time just to see what people do.

[–]mechanical_animal 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

That wasn't the joke here but I'm sure people pull power play stunts like that all the time to gauge others.

[–]drboss69 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I really really liked the show version of dilbert.

[–]hazzman14 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I hate to be that guy but i don't get the last part where he says "contact lens"

[–]chowmaster 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

same as the old boss

[–]BikerRay 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Glasses plus contact lenses. I guess Dilbert works in the Department of Redundancy Department.

[–]Holiday_in_Asgard 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

is /r/funny just becoming /r/comics now? Thats fine with me, just making sure I didn't miss the memo.

[–]SpaceShrimp 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yes, WTF actual funny posts on /r/funny?

[–]probo1 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well you could have fooled me with your corporate infused hierarchically authoritarian position.

[–]-_-o_o 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Peculiar tie.

[–]_gerg_ 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Help me out people. Isn't there a movie or something where someone pretends to drop their contact lens? I'm blanking so hard right now

[–]blacy0520 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

So clever and funny! Ha