Old School Tendencies

THE PROPER WAY TO APOLOGIZE

oceansforbackyards23:

mirandaadria:

Don’t say, “I’m sorry this offended you”.
Instead say, “I’m sorry I was offensive.”

Don’t say, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Instead say, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but intent means nothing because the damage is already done.”

Don’t say, “It was just a joke.”
Instead sat, “Some things should not be joked about.”

Don’t say, “I wouldn’t try to hurt anyone like that.”
Instead say, “I realize I hurt people with my words, and I’m sorry.”

Don’t say, “I‘ll remove the joke if it bothers you so much.” (if posted online)
Instead say, “Yes, I said this, and it was wrong, and now I know not to say things like this again.”

Don’t say, “Well other people weren’t bothered by it.”
Instead say, “Well some people weren’t bothered by it, but others were, and their concerns are just as valid and worthy of consideration.”

Stop accepting passive apologies that do not show the offensive party actively taking responsibility for their mistakes.

Yes, this is nice and it would be a great thing to keep in mind. But also, grow the fuck up. If someone is genuinely trying to apologize to you and you don’t accept just because they didn’t say it “right” then you weren’t actually going to forgive them in the first place. You were going to keep them in the doghouse until you decided their punishment was sufficient. If you want I apologize then say sorry and let that be that. If you want to accept someone’s apology, then do it. Yes, some of these apologies are bull, but honestly if someone hurt you and they step up and say “I’m sorry” then you’re either are going accept it or nah. No other words are going to change that.

This post is not about making the people that have hurt others feel better. To hell with that shit. I’m not interested in coddling the feelings of people who cause damage. Hold their asses responsible. This isn’t grade school. You don’t get a pass just cuz you “didn’t know better”. “Grow the fuck up”, you say. The fucking nerve. As if your response shows even a shred of maturity what with your “just accept the apology” bullshit. GTFOH.

Your comment is bad and you should feel bad.