Schtick?

Let's be clear: ego death and individuality are not incompatible.

One finds themselves by coming to an unbiased understanding of themselves and their relationship with the world... the circumstances of their birth, life, and mortality. They realize that the ego inside is a lie: none of us are special and yet, we all are.

The consciousness inside is likely one and the same: the universe thinking about itself. The animal it "runs" on is lucky enough to have inherited/developed a brain necessary for the universe to begin wondering about itself but the animal still remains. These two entities are as entwined as they are separate.

To proclaim that you are not the animal in which your sentience resides is as silly as the belief of an everlasting soul: both take naive extremes. The only reason you are able to participate in the grand recursion which is the universe thinking of itself is because you have met the needs of your physical existence so well.

The partake in higher thought truly is the ultimate luxury.

To these ends, no, I have found that embracing the qualities of strength and calculated risk have served me well for the past few years... in fact, I look back to the last half of my marriage and feel as if I was closer to death then than I have ever been:

I bickered with a wife I did not love, I sat on the couch playing Call of Duty, I ate the same rotation of food, and experienced the same rotation of stale life.... those years blend together and I shudder when I think that is what the average human experiences.

To the contrary, the past few years I have felt more alive than I ever have. Every moment has been dripping with wisdom and I have embraced it. Every moment has made me feel both more special and less. Every moment has brought me one step closer to true understanding of the ultimate truth of the universe and total enlightenment.

So in conclusion: Is that you Blythe? I know you got a crush on me, but I'm kinda seeing someone right now. But it's cool; I'll talk to her and maybe we can work something out.