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Update: Wife WAS Scared of Me (self.marriedredpill)

RedDeadWolverine が 投稿

Ok I posted about this the other day on a now deleted account. The mods had some solid advice. I was obliterating my wife's shit tests because the alpha mentality is almost a natural state for me.

Grew up in tough conditions. Moved to another state, joined a church and got soft.

I got advice that my wife might fear me and I was failing comfort tests.

She told me point blank last night that I suddenly changed. She was scared something was wrong. Either I was having some mental breakdown. (When our first kid came I started having panick attacks a year into our marriage) Or I was getting ready to leave her. (because of working out and running, keeping a strict diet)

She was in tears over it. (she doesn't cry to manipulate. She rarely shows much emotion at all. She often stays stonefaced.)

I told her that I appreciate everything she does for me and the kids. I hugged her and told her I don't mean to come off as so harsh. That I'm just trying to sort some things out.

I've phased out shitty friends, got to lifting, cut out sugar, and built up a solid male group in a couple months. She's still trying to figure it out. But she was scared of me, I'm different.

I gave her comfort. And I let her know I'm going to take care of the family. She was relieved to hear this.

Next project is finances.

Thanks for reading.

Edited to use less words. Something I'm working on.

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[–]Redneck001MRP-APPROVED 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

Anyway, I'm talking too much.

That's the TL;DR.

Are you the guy who posted yesterday that your wife didn't seek validation from you and just disappeared often? That you were overweight and working on it? And today you're a scary motherfucker that's too alpha?

Do you see how you're all over the place? You're changing user names, you're too alpha, you're a warrior. Yesterday, you were insecure. This is the type of leadership your wife sees. Of course she's confused about your behavior.

We say STFU for good reason. Work on yourself, become a high value dude. Read the requisite materials.

We don't need daily updates.

[–]TrainingTheBrainMarried- MRP APPROVED 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

When you try to restrain your masculinity it finds destructive ways to come out.

Instead of handling situations like a Man, and leading, lifting, and Owning your shit like a Man you bottle that shit up. that's where anxiety, discontentment with life, self loathing, and explosions of rage and frustrations come from.

You're not living in accordance with Nature.

Take back your masculinity. Your wife may see you as rough/tough compared to the beta behaviors she is used to in other 'men' she sees, but who gives a fuck. As long as you're taking care of her and your kid then there is no issue and she will see that.

The change may lead to initial pushback, so be it. Your success lands squarely on your shoulders. All of your failures up to this point are on you. all of the success that you can attain, is up to you. She'll eventually call you out on weak behavior and show off your Masculine actions to her friends and family IF you do it right.

[–]RedDeadWolverine[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm not living in accordance? Can you clarify?

[–]TrainingTheBrainMarried- MRP APPROVED 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It seems as though you are now. I'm saying that when you joined the church and began to exhibit the Beta behaviors, you were no longer living life as a Masculine Male, thus you developed an onset of several symptoms that I associate with repressed Masculinity (Or as you say you got soft and things sucked.)

Now, you've just got to recognize that as a Man you can look like the big scary mother fucker and even play that role if you want, but not to your wife and kids. they need to know that even though you're out there taking the world on, at home your Dad/husband and you're going to guide them to the promised land on your ship.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR -1ポイント0ポイント  (1子コメント)

When we say don't talk, we usually mean talk less, not don't ever talk. Binary thinking.

When we say be stoic, we usually mean don't show undue emotions, not be a stone cold motherfucker all the way through the funeral.

When we say be the rock, we usually mean be the Oak- strong AND protecting.

Be aware, incongruency is the root of most Shit Tests so I can't believe you are not being shit tested every minute.

Finally:

She told me point blank last night.

Blah Blah Blah. Watch what they do, not what they say. What she calls "fear" we call "dread" (in very measured amounts) so don't get dragged into her frame.

If she is ACTING scared of you, that is time to back off and/or provide warm reassurance. If she is SAYING she is scared of you, that is the time for Amused Mastery and teasing.

Remember, you are a predator. Study the behavior of your prey. Don't listen to her tinsel truths. watch what she does.

For example, a woman who has "the dread" often becomes hypersexual- assuming the fears are reduced to a nagging back-of-the-mind concern and is not debilitating terror, although that also works.

[–]RedDeadWolverine[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I know you're used to binary thinkers... But I'm pretty aware that almost everything has some kind of paradoxical nature to it.

You just called me a stone cold motherfucker, then a clueless punk.

So which is it?

I do watch what she does. She's been withdrawn, cold, avoidant, just because she came out and told me why doesn't make it not true.