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You are here: Home Life and Love Love Sex and Relationships

Why race is not a sexual preference

Date: September 15, 2015 - 8:09AM

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Maxine Tuyau

Discussing sexual racism is not about making anyone feel guilty, but about learning to understand where these 'preferences' came from.

Given the majority of Australian actors, news presenters and reality TV stars are typically white, it was slightly depressing, if not entirely shocking, when the Bachelorette Australia announced its all white-cast last week.

The American version of the series has long had whitewashing issues of its own. In 2012, the show was sued for its underrepresentation of ethnic contestants. During the lawsuit, broadcaster Warner Horizon Television alleged "minorities in lead roles and interracial dating is unappealing to the shows' audience." Yep, this is where the bar was set.

What surprised me last week, however, was the way punters have taken to social media to defend Channel Ten's casting decision. A handful of commenters suggested some people are attracted only to white people, while parallels were drawn between 'racial preferences' in dating and sexual orientation.

Davey, Luke, Alex and Dave on The Bachelorette

But does it really just boil down to 'the heart wants what the heart wants?'A little digging shows the answer isn't that simple. According to a new Australian study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior, so-called 'sexual racism' can and does exist.

In fact, researchers revealed this kind of exclusionary dating practice "is closely associated with generic racist attitudes, which challenges the idea of racial attraction as solely a matter of personal preference."

While some may consider desire to be a harmless preference, like all taste, preferences are learned.

Contestants on The Bachelorette, 2015: (top row) Shane, Drew, Tony, Richie, Michael, (middle row) Davey, Luke, Dave, Alex, (bottom row) David, Kayne, Will, Kieren and Sasha. Photo: Channel Ten

In other words, the kinds of people you're attracted to isn't etched in your DNA. Nor is it a part of your sexual identity. Instead, it's linked to the subtle ways the society has influenced us, the way we've been socialised into accepting certain aesthetics over the others.

It's worth differentiating racial exclusion, as seen on the Bachelorette, from fetishisation. (Eg: Asian women being submissive or black men being 'well hung')

You may be familiar with comments like, "Oh please, I'm sick to death of the race card constantly being played! I'm white and will only date Asians so I must be racist right?"

(FYI: Yes, they are right and it is racist)

Sam Frost - The Bachelorette Photo: Supplied

Racial fetishisation refers to subscribing to unrealistic stereotypes a particular race or culture that you do not belong to, through objectification of that race. (And by the way, a white person cannot be fetishised because white beauty standards and white culture is already the default in our society.)

As Womanist points out, "Fetishising someone because of their race is not a compliment. It assumes a monolithic identity and evidences that what is truly desired is not an equal relationship, but a caricature of what is understood to be natural based in race."

It's okay to have a type. Discussing sexual racism is not about making anyone feel guilty, but about learning to understand where these 'preferences' came from.

I'm dating a white man and have mostly dated white men since I began dating. This is after having been raised in a country where I was taught from an early age that white people are more desirable, and that my brown skin is inferior.

There weren't any brown people in Neighbours or Dawson's Creek. It's learned cultural bias, plain and simple, that is how this racism has affected me. Dealing with one's internalised racism -- gathered from a lifetime of exposure to biases and slights -- can be confronting. It may feel like our attractions are inherent, in reality our desires are influenced heavily by the world we grew up in.

Racial choices shouldn't be dismissed as a legitimate aspect of sexual identity, to the point where questioning them is 'playing the race card' or irrational political correctness. People from all cultural and racial identities are complex and can have qualities that are undesirable. I am not suggesting we should feel obligated to have relationships with people for inclusivity's sake. But recognise these preferences actually stem from societal stereotypes and bigotries associated with people of colour.

Australia has had a long and difficult history of racism. Even though many of us actively reject outright discrimination, racial biases exist in our lives every day. Our media is dominated by whiteness through shows like the Bachelorette. The reality is we live in a multicultural society, and our television and pop culture should reflect that.

If you do feel you're particularly attracted to one race, or not attracted to another, you can't easily change that, but you can be critical of it. Analyse the ways in which colonialism, exotification, fetishisation and white supremacy have conditioned your sexual preferences. If nothing else, we need to be honest with ourselves.