VIDEO: Go Home, Men’s Rights Movement, You’re Drunk. (Seriously, folks, watch this one.)

Is the Men’s Rights Movement a bunch of middle-aged creeps obsessed with the sexuality of women young enough to be their daughters?

Judging from this video, shot at the first A Voice for Men “family reunion,” the answer is “yes.” Also, the Men’s Rights movement is drunk.

In the video, AVFM’s head middle-aged creep Paul Elam, working the camera, introduces his fellow “family members” as the only men in the Men’s Movement “who told Jessica Valenti ‘no’ to a blow job.”

Panning across the almost-all-white faces in the crowd, Elam gleefully shouts:

Hello Jessica! Hello Jessica! Yeeaaaah! Here’s a dick you won’t suck! Oh, there’s another dick you won’t suck! Oh my God there’s just thousands of dicks that don’t want you to suck it! [sic] … No means no, bitch! No means no, bitch!

At this point the entire group starts chanting “no means no.”

Valenti, the founder of Feministing, is a daily columnist for The Guardian and the author of four books. Elam is a middle-aged asshole who for many years has lived off of his girlfriend and/or the donations he’s been able to extract from gullible men.

Elam asks if anyone else has anything they want to say to the feminists of the world, because “this is going on YouTube.”

One gentleman shouts his message: “Go fuck yourself!”

Former AVFM second-in-command Dean Esmay makes an impossible-to-parse comment about “good rape.”

Elam adds his thoughts about another prominent feminist writer:

Hey listen, Amanda Marcotte! Your pussy stinks!

Then he ends the video with this little warning:

Hey, girls, look into your future! A lot more of this shit’s coming, and it ain’t gonna be fun except for us.

The Human Rights Movement of the 21st century, folks!

In the description of the video on YouTube, Elam (presumably sober by this time) makes clear he doesn’t care if anyone thinks the video makes the Men’s Rights movement look bad.

Look, it is just some men having non PC fun. If you find it offensive or a “bad thing” for the men’s movement, you can blow it out your ass.

Given that the so-called Men’s Rights movement is itself a bad thing, I’d like to thank Mr. Elam for once again making my work here easy.

NOTE: You folks might want to save this video, just in case Mr. Elam realizes what an ass he’s making of himself. (If you don’t have the right browser extension to save videos, this website will do it for you.)

EDIT: I just realized what this video reminded me of: The creepy dance sequence from the horror movie Calvaire.

About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon, Time.com, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on September 14, 2015, in a voice for men, antifeminism, creepy, Dean Esmay, douchebaggery, entitled babies, facepalm, harassment, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, not-quite-explicit threats, oppressed white men, paul elam, post contains sarcasm, rape culture, reactionary bullshit, red pill, taking pleasure in women's pain, that's not funny!, vaginas, YouTube and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 60 Comments.

  1. “Tell us more about Good Rape” is I think what he’s saying.

  2. Well, that about says it all, doesn’t it? Shows the MRAs for just who they are: guys with arrested development who don’t really care one whit about men’s rights, only about hating and insulting women.

  3. Ironically, “non-politically correct” is itself the politically correct term for “complete and total bastard”.

    This video is… incredible.

  4. Policy of Madness

    “Non-PC fun” = “indistinguishable from 9-year-olds.” Glad to have that cleared up!

    Yes, MRAs! Girls do, in fact, have cooties! You’d better stay faaaaaaar away from them!

  5. To quote Voltaire: “I always made one prayer to God, a very short one. Here it is: ‘O Lord, make our enemies quite ridiculous!’ God granted it.”

  6. These guys are readying themselves for the line up of women who supposedly want to give them blow jobs? HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA!!!!

  7. That’s the worst version of “sour grapes” I’ve ever seen

  8. Truly amazing how they managed to fit so much talent, humor and grace into just one room. If I were Jessica, I’d be devastated at their rejections.

  9. How they’ve convinced themselves that this is a thing feminist women would want to do is even more baffling. Is it just that they assume anyone against them is a “slut” and therefore bad (ironically enough Jessica Valenti has written several books deconstructing exactly that mindset)? Or is it “we hate feminists” and “we hate (consensual) sex” and therefore feminists must be 100% indiscriminate in their (consensual) sex and that’s a bad thing? The “no means no” bizarre tangent makes me suspect that it’s a deliberate misreading of the book title “Yes Means Yes” that she coedited (i.e. she wrote yes means yes, so argle bargle that must means indiscriminate sex monster because words meaning things are misandry)? Though it could just be standard threats and insults about perceived sexuality are literally all we have?

    And at this point I realize that I’m probably putting way more thought into what they mean than they did.

  10. Question: How many of these men have actually met Jessica Valenti? Like, face-to-face, been in the same room with her? My guess is <1.

    Also, what's the deal with the brewery that was mentioned? I only made it about 20 seconds into the video before I had to shut it off, but Elam described the brewery as "refusing to kowtow to feminists." Does anybody know what he's talking about?

  11. “Non-politically-correct fun” for MRAs is is the same “fun” all hate groups engage in; stroking their hate boners and talking shit about those they hate. Same as always. They’d go out and find some feminist/uppity woman to lynch if they though they could get away with it.

    “We gun’ hang us a fem’nist, boys!”

  12. Scented Fucking Hard Chairs

    The only guys this facepalmingly obsessed with BJs are guys who’ve never had (consensual) BJs.

  13. Policy of Madness

    stroking their hate boners

    And, in this case, their literal boners.

  14. And at this point I realize that I’m probably putting way more thought into what they mean than they did.

    – Cerberus

    Yeh. Doubt there is much thought here, at all. Just a straight pipeline between their mouths and the vile, hate-filled sewage that clog their brains.

  15. Hey, girls, look into your future! A lot more of this shit’s coming, and it ain’t gonna be fun except for [sic] us.

    This is the live action version of Lewis’ Law right here. Misogyny is not exactly anything new and their threats of a world where men treat us as a collection of orifices for boners and insult us on that premise? Well that just proves we still need feminism. So, thanks guys!

  16. When they say, “here’s a bunch of dicks so and so won’t have”, are they doing it ironically? ;-) cause yes, there is no way in hell she would have those dicks, cause EUUUUeeee…

  17. In my time reading here, I have seen some wretched crap, but I am not clicking on that video. Something about seeing these people say their usual out loud is extra repulsive.

  18. @ej

    Somebody in the video’s comments asked and was linked to this in response:

    http://www.deepellumbrewing.com/2013/10/19/goes-down-easy/

    Same old story, IMO

  19. Hello Jessica! Hello Jessica! Yeeaaaah! Here’s a dick you won’t suck! Oh, there’s another dick you won’t suck! Oh my God there’s just thousands of dicks that don’t want you to suck it!

    Well, he’s not wrong. I may be a bit behind on my modern toxic masculinity, but I’m pretty sure “here’s a bunch of men you don’t want to have sex with and don’t want to have sex with you” isn’t much of a brag.

  20. We discussed before on this site that the targets of manosphere rage are usually young and conventionally attractive feminists. They’re not going after older feminists like Gloria Steinem, bell hooks, Naomi Wolfe etc. They do go after Lindy West, but they don’t seem to obsess about her as much.

    They hate all women. But what they really hate most of all is that there are young, pretty women who are not acquiescing to what they think their designated role is. They’re supposed to be submissive blow job dispensers and sammich makers! Feminism is supposed to be for old and/or ugly women! How dare Jessica Valenti choose feminism over a life of servitude to a much older misogynist?

    They’re claiming to be having non-PC fun here, nothing more. But they don’t look happy or celebratory to me. They don’t look fun. They look as bitter and rage filled as always. They’re enraged at Valenti and Marcotte for not performing as good little fuck toys and are attempting here to put them in their place by attacking the one thing MRAs think women are good for, their sexuality and genitals.

  21. So, by “drunk” somehow I didn’t think that you meant Actually Drunk.

  22. Color Me Unsurprised

    I know who we’re talking about, but does Paulie seriously think that saying that someone’s vagina is “stinky” an okay thing for to say? Especially for the head of an alleged professional organization, no less? Christ what an asshole. Does he not understand how public relations work?

  23. ??? Even if Jessica Valenti DID, for some inexplicable reason, want to have oral sex with these fuckheads, she would accept a “No”. A main tenent of feminism is respecting consent. Only MRAs seem to think that turning down someone’s sexual advances is the WORST POSSIBLE THING you could do to a person. The projection is strong with these assholes.

  24. Elam described the brewery as “refusing to kowtow to feminists.” Does anybody know what he’s talking about?

    I think that’s non-PC-speak for “didn’t let any girls into our manly-man treehouse”.

  25. WWTH: Well said! These are just toxic people. They look toxic and unhappy. These are the kind of people who get drunk, not for fun, but to drown out their own rage.

    Oh, and you forgot two other groups of women although you did mention bell hooks) they don’t target trans women (the kind of women you think would certainly enrage them) and WoC. A lot of the arguments they make about women are a hell of a lot harder to make against trans women and WoC.

  26. I just realized what this video reminded me of: The creepy dance scene from the horror movie Calvaire:

    brb,adding it to the post

  27. So human rightsy.

  28. Oh, and why is it called “Blair Bitch Project.” I know they like calling women bitches, but who or what, in this context is Blair? Without a Blair, this joke doesn’t work. Is a reference to a more than 15 year old movie really the only way they can work a bitch joke into their video title?

  29. TreeHugger – “But what they really hate most of all is that there are young, pretty women who are not acquiescing to what they think their designated role is. ” and might I add, standing in for all the “hot” chicks who won’t give them the time of day. “Clearly, the reason Betty from Highschool put out for everyone but me is because she was a feminist/was brainwashed by feminists!”

  30. Color Me Unsurprised

    Brainwashed by Feminists would be an awesome band name

  31. It’s like a more depressing, drunker, greasier version of Al Bundy’s No Ma’am meetings.

    On the bright side, this is what’s left of them, now. Once upon a time they hosted a real convention, sort of, with lots of people and real professionals, and now it’s just a bunch of drunk old farts making a Youtube video. Men’s Rights and AVFM are on their way out.

  32. There’s one guy in the crowd (second on the left) who seems a bit embarrassed or at least not that amused. Maybe at least one of the assholes is aware of the fact that “being part of a bunch of assholish middle-aged creeps obsessed with the genitalia of the young women they hate” is not something that most people would be proud of.

  33. Thanks, howlcat. I read through the original criticism of the ad (http://www.burntorangereport.com/diary/14215/deep-ellum-says-their-dallas-blonde-goes-down-easy-but-rape-culture-never-does) and the response from the brewery (in the link from howlcat).

    The original criticism is pretty tame, but I’ll let the response from the brewery speak for itself:

    it’s a literal description of the beer with a blowjob joke. A double entendre. And yes, I find that funny.
    What’s not funny is how that’s been interpreted to promoting rape culture. If anyone is to blame for promoting such thoughts, it should be those interpreting the phrase to that level.

    Emphasis original. Yes, implying that women “go down easy” does contribute to rape culture. It tells men that they should always expect and are entitled to blow jobs. This is not a hard concept.

    To those who have been offended by this glorified blowjob joke, I am sorry. Lesson learned.
    To those who have likened this to rape culture or tried to cheapen this to just some sexist asshole trying to sell beer, shame on you.
    Just as we don’t need cheap tricks to sell our beer, you don’t need cheap tricks to push your agenda.

    Emphasis original. You are a sexist asshole trying to sell beer. You say you don’t need tricks to do it, but yet here you are, using sexist jokes to try to sell beer.

    They also go on to defend their “Cans for Cans” breast cancer fund raiser after anbreast cancer survivor told them it was offensive.

    I’m not surprised that the MRM has joined with this brewery and, even though I love craft beers, I will not be drinking any from Deep Ellum.

  34. I don’t find the video offensive; people can drink and be merry in any way they please, within the limits of the law. However, I do find the video to be pretty compelling evidence that the people involved are petulant, childish and mentally stunted. They appear to be men who live their lives in a perpetual tantrum against an imagined tyrant because they are entitled and lack the courage, confidence and humility to evaluate and accept their own shortcomings or personal responsibility for their place in life (whether general unhappiness or loneliness). Instead they blame outwardly at the very thing they desire (“well I’m perfect, I must lonely/uhappy because modern women are jerks!”) and retreat to the comfort of an echo chamber with similarly pained, self-affirming individuals in a pretty toxic positive feedback loop; they just bounce-off each other, reinforcing their own sense of entitlement, self-perception of perfection and outward hatred until they’re completely irrational and vile. Really, they’re just sowing their own unhappiness and loneliness by becoming something so abhorrent that women (and the rest of society for that matter) are increasingly repulsed.

  35. I think this is the first time I ever heard Paulie’s voice (yup, never saw fit to bother with any of his audiovisual rants till now), and I gotta say, he sounds EXACTLY as I imagined him. DOOFY and DRUNK OFF HIS ASS*, in other words.

    Anyone figure out what Deano is saying about “good rape”? I only made out the last two or three words.

    And yup, these guys all look exactly as I’d expect a Menz Rightzer “movement” (or the rump of one, to be quite honest) to look. Kinda like a Possum Lodge meeting without the oinking air-raid siren and cheerful accordion accompaniment:

    *And that’s not just an expression. He really does sound like he’s yelling from somewhere up his own rectum. Jenkem is not just an urban myth after all!

  36. I just got up a little while ago, so I’m not ready to watch the video yet. However, I did watch the clip from Calvaire and now I have GOT to see this movie!

    Also, yeah, can’t believe a bunch of grown men are yelling “your pussy stinks” to be put on You Tube. David’s right, this video will probably be taken down soon.

  37. Buttercup Q. Skullpants

    “Goes Down Easy” is a terrible slogan, even without the double entendre. It’s like saying “Swallowable!” or “Less Likely To Regurgitate!” It doesn’t say anything about how the beer actually tastes, just that you can get it down without triggering the gag reflex. Great? I guess?

    It’s also a stupid slogan in that it implies beer is only for sexually insecure, horny men (shoo, ladies! unless you’re a young, conventionally attractive slut, because we want our brewery to look like all the beer commercials…). And it explicitly invokes the link between alcohol, lowered inhibitions, and the blurring of consent. How is that not enabling rape culture?

    Not surprised AVfM felt right at home there.

  38. Another day, another MRA “critique” or “criticism” of women by commenting on the smell of a pussy, or what woman would be unable to find a taker for a bj.

    Yep. Misogyny is definitely NOT a thing, as can be seen here. Feeemales be ridiculously inventing stuff.

  39. WWTH,

    They do seem to be very upset when young, conventionally attractive women are feminist.

    The entire MRA ideology is full of whale sized holes that constantly need to be plugged in an attempt to create a presentation of a cohesive world view. Whenever a feminist is not old and ugly, that creates a hole that needs explaining.

    It’s exhausting, just watching them attempt to justify their bullshit. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why they won’t just come right out and say “women aren’t good for anything but making sammiches and pleasing our boners”.

    It would save everyone loads of time, including them.

  40. Bizarre fixation about sex with feminists: check

    ‘Edgy’ non-PC ranting: check

    Claims having zero basis in reality: check

    Making fun about consensual sex: check

    Room entirely filled with jerks: check

    Did I miss anything?

    As they say, an ‘alpha’ man gotta do what an ‘alpha’ man gotta do!

    I also find it funny when they get annoyed about feminists calling them fools when they go way out of their way to provide us with ample evidence. Oh why oh why are these fish building their barrel to jump into?

  41. EJ (The Other One)

    As magnesium said, it’s sad to see what Elam’s empire has come down to. This image just seems to be more and more appropriate every time he does anything:

  42. Scented Fucking Hard Chairs

    “Goes down easy/easier/smoother” is literally a rape joke, just a subtle one. It’s rape by coercion, plain and simple.

    The dipshits at Elam Brewery probably don’t understand what rape culture is. I have a sneaking suspicion that they think the criticism was literally calling them rapists, not assholes contributing to a culture where rape is seen as a lesser crime and women are seen as lesser people.

  43. So about the Valenti being neglected blowjobs by them thing…does anyone have any context? Is there an actual story there, or is it something he just made up on the spot and said in an attempt to make noise?

    Like obviously what he said was bullshit, but now I’m curious as to what kind of distortion of reality they had to go through to get to there.

    Like is it as simple as one of them bugging her on twitter or something, and she aggravatedly said “blow me” or something before blocking him? Or did she at one point make an offer to somebody who wasn’t them, or once briefly mentioned blowjobs in some context, they heard about it and just decided to preemptively reject her non-advances, and are somehow proud about that?

    Is it like the Kids in the Hall ‘never put salt in your eyes’ sketch? Where she once said she would never want anything to do with them and that just got morphed in their head as she was really desperate to give them blowjobs?

  44. @WWTH

    Best guess about the title (and I’m probably giving them WAYYYYY too much credit) is being self-deprecating about the terrible camera work/editing, especially at the end.

  45. Years ago, Coors used to use that “goes down easy” for its snicker advertisements.

    http://www.ebay.com/itm/Coors-Light-Beer-Coaster-Full-Strength-On-Tap-Now-On-Draght-Goes-Down-Easy-/231457212901

    From some googling around, looks like it’s a term of art in reviewing beer, indicating exactly what it sounds like, it’s easy to drink it fast.

  46. @Taffer I doubt she said something to that effect. What is true is that on the MRA front they keep coming up with a bunch of fake quotes that they attribute to Valenti. (If you can’t beat them, just make up a bunch of BS to justify our position! DEBATE SLAM WIN)

    They could very well be referring to one of these – or they could be fantasizing. Who knows?

  47. I like that even when they’re looking at their own group, all they see is a bunch of dicks.

  48. Policy of Madness

    From some googling around, looks like it’s a term of art in reviewing beer, indicating exactly what it sounds like, it’s easy to drink it fast.

    Don’t be precious. The beer in question wasn’t Coors Lite, it was called “Dallas Blonde.” The beer company people have admitted it was deliberate double entendre.

  49. “Hello Jessica! Hello Jessica! Yeeaaaah! Here’s a dick you won’t suck! Oh, there’s another dick you won’t suck! Oh my God there’s just thousands of dicks that don’t want you to suck-”

    Nobody wants you or your d*** especially Jessica now stop being d***s yourselves and sit down.

  50. It’s weird how AVFM and MRAs seem to think their movement is about feminists and antifeminist having sex. You would think they had real life stuff to complain about but instead they spend their time talking about sex with feminists. Or the lack of..Dafuq. If they hate feminists so much, then why make sex with them a focus. Do they really think it is logical in any way? I don’t get it.

  51. msexceptiontotherule

    Would it be appropriate to send Jessica a fruit basket and a note of congratulations on all the dicks not to be sucked? (Not sure how to phrase that last bit) Maybe muffins or a year’s subscription to inappropriately shaped chocolate items delivered every month?

  52. I think it’s rather telling that the best thing they could come up with is “You’re not gonna suck my dick!” Like, they don’t like this woman, so they won’t use her to pleasure themselves with.

    Excuse me while I roll out my Sarcastic Feinting Couch.

  53. Okay…time for some translations:

    First, Shallow Elam — er, Deep Ellum Brewery:

    it’s a literal description of the beer with a blowjob joke. A double entendre. And yes, I find that funny.
    What’s not funny is how that’s been interpreted to promoting rape culture. If anyone is to blame for promoting such thoughts, it should be those interpreting the phrase to that level.

    Translation: “How DARE you suggest that we are using rape culture to sell our diabetic horse urine! How DARE you suggest that it’s old, tired, nasty and unfunny? Whatsamatteryou? Oh, I just got an idea: I’ll point the finger at you and ignore the three pointing back at me! Now YOU’re the sexist rape culture promoter! Neener, neener, nee-ner!

    And them again:

    To those who have been offended by this glorified blowjob joke, I am sorry. Lesson learned.
    To those who have likened this to rape culture or tried to cheapen this to just some sexist asshole trying to sell beer, shame on you.
    Just as we don’t need cheap tricks to sell our beer, you don’t need cheap tricks to push your agenda.

    Translation: “Hi, here’s another cheap-ass nopology comin’ right atcha. How DARE you see through our cheap trick for selling our crappy suds? How DARE you call us on our sexism? How DARE you call us on our capitulation to rape culture, and our appeal to the lowest common denominator of masculinity?” (clutches smelling salts, staggers to fainting couch, wilts dramatically)

    Oh, and “Cans for Cans” as a breast-cancer charity fundraiser? Why not call it “Boobs for Boobs”? It would be more accurate that way. Dude, you’re offending cancer survivors with your own sexism in order to sell beer. That’s pretty fuckin’ low.

    Yeah, Deep Ellum, I don’t think I’ll be drinking your beer ever. I only heard of you today.

  54. And now, let’s translate Paulie into plain English:

    Hello Jessica! Hello Jessica! Yeeaaaah! Here’s a dick you won’t suck! Oh, there’s another dick you won’t suck! Oh my God there’s just thousands of dicks that don’t want you to suck it! [sic] … No means no, bitch! No means no, bitch!

    Translation: “Fuck, I’m so pissed that Jessica doesn’t want to suck my cock. Sure it’s kinda old and shrivelled and droopy, and all this beer I just guzzled isn’t helping any, but damn her anyway for not having beer goggles where we geezers are concerned. And how dare she say that you can’t have sex without enthusiastic consent? Those big fancy words aren’t supposed to be in any woman’s vocabulary. BITCH!”

    Hey listen, Amanda Marcotte! Your pussy stinks!

    Translation: “I can’t reach those grapes, either. They must be sour!”

    Hey, girls, look into your future! A lot more of this shit’s coming, and it ain’t gonna be fun except for us.

    Translation: “We’re gonna get together and get drunk and film our incomprehensible babblings on the regular! We’re gonna pretend it’s fun so you’ll get all jealous at what you’re not getting and don’t want anyway! Boogaboogabooga!” (sobs, hiccups)

    Look, it is just some men having non PC fun. If you find it offensive or a “bad thing” for the men’s movement, you can blow it out your ass.

    Translation: “How DARE you suggest that we sound immature! What are you, my mom? No, Mom, don’t come at me with that diarrhea medicine! I’d rather shit my pants than do what a mere woman tells me, even if she IS my mom! Fuck off, mom! FUCK OFF!!!”

  55. Aw. They try SO HARD.

    (Shhhhhh. Please, for the love of Katie, nobody tell them how much fun we have laughing at them.)

    Oh please, Mr. Elam, sir, don’t tell us terrible feminists how much you and your ragtag dupes pals don’t want those hummers nobody offered you!

  56. Taffer:

    YES!! The “never put salt in your eye” KITH!

    Exactly like that. :)

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