32 min: There is a little bit of frustration creeping into West Ham’s game, and there are a few murmurings of disquiet in the stands, as Ogbonna resorts to a aimless hoof up field. Newcastle are dominating possession, with West Ham happy to sit behind the ball and break with pace. Thing is, they’re not breaking with any quality. Game has gone a bit stale.
29 min: Colback is shows a yellow card for bringing a West Ham counter-attack to an abrupt halt, sending Kouyate crashing to the turf. Deserved.
26 min: “To me the Reece Oxford reaction was just the usual insane media hype,” emails Peter Crosby. “He’s 16! He had one good game (that we know of)! Against Arsenal! So he must be good! And he’s English! Just let the lad alone and if he’s still in the sport in 10 years we’ll know by then if he’s any good or not.”
Where’s the fun in that? Some of us have to make a living out of hyperbole and transfer rumours Peter.
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24 min: Payet has just done a backheel flick thing to completely leave his marker for dead. That is utter filth, who is going to call Colback’s family?
22 min: Carroll and West Ham new boy Jelavic get their bums off the bench and go for a jog and a stretch. The home fans give them a clap. That’s nice.
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19 min: Good save by Randolph! This is a golden chance for Newcastle. Janmaat cuts inside from the right, but Creswell gets a toe poke – it hits Wijnaldum in the shins and bounces perfectly back to Janmaat, who has run in behind the defence. It is on the Dutchman’s weaker left foot and his shot is too central, well saved by the feet of Randolph.
18 min: Moses turns Janmaat inside out on the left touchline and drives to the byline, cutting back to Sakho. The Senegalese, hovering on the penalty spot, has his back to goal and can’t get his shot off. Lanzini has a try instead, well wide.
17 min: “How does a professional team in the Most Popular League in the World™, earning millions of pounds a year, paying players multi-thousands of pounds per week, arrive for a game 45 minutes before the schedule start and only give its players 25 minutes to warm up?” asks Ted Storer, from Indiana. “That is high school shenanigans in the US.” Sat Navs, Ted, Sat Navs.
“Because M25”, replies Tim Gibson.
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15 min: Corner to West Ham, Payet to take. I like how he seems to take responsibility for everything in this Hammers team. Nobody seems to question it, despite only joining in the summer. Mario Balotelli did that last night for Milan against Internazionale, coming off the bench taking every corner, free-kick. And you know what? He was pretty good in the 20 mins or so he was on the pitch.
12 min: Newcastle are enjoying the majority of possession but are can’t fashion any space inside West Ham’s half, both Kouyate and Noble are sticking to their defensive tasks well. Haidara tries a shot from range, well closed down from Tomkins, who is filling in at right-back tonight.
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GOAL! West Ham 1-0 Newcastle (Payet 9)
Anita didn’t get close enough then … Sakho and Noble exchange passes neatly on the edge of Newcastle’s box and as the visitor’s defence is drawn to the former’s run into the box, a huge pocket of space opens up on the edge. Noble squares the ball to Payet, who sidefoots the ball first time into the top-right hand corner of the net. Postage-stamp stuff. What a lovely goal, he measured that superbly.
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7 min: Sissoko wins a corner, which is terribly taken by Thauvin. Didn’t clear the first man!
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6 min: Anita is sticking to Payet like white on rice, and shoulder barges West Ham’s No27 to the ground. The Dutchman is just 5ft6in but he’s a strong physical presence in that defensive midfield role. He’ll need all that stockiness, Payet is no beanpole either.
4 min: “Perhaps the Toon will pick up some casual armchair support this evening” my colleague Philip Cornwall emails, after pointing out that an away win for Newcastle tonight would mean that Chelsea drop into the bottom three.
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2 min: Payet latches onto a clearance and sprints down the left touchline. He is mighty quick, but seems to skim across the field, his knees barely lifting. He cuts inside well, but can’t find Sakho, who was busting a nut to get up with play.
So it turns out Newcastle only arrived at Upton Park 45 mins ago and only started their warm-ups at 7.35pm BST. Anyone for a pulled hammy early on? My money is on Coloccini.
Peeeep! And we’re off!
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The teams are coming out of the tunnel: West Ham in their traditional claret and blue, Newcastle in their yellow third kit. The home fans are blowing bubbles. Let’s do this!
Here are some more photos to get you in the mood.
Newcastle have had some trouble getting to the Boleyn Ground due to traffic, but they’ve arrived, and there will not be a delay to the kick-off. Not ideal preparation though for the north-east club.
“Reece was badly out of touch against Leicester.,” emails Chris Lovell. “I suspect Bilic will go with two holding midfielders today and Oxford won’t get a sniff with Noble, Kouyate and Obiang all ahead of him.
“Either that, or he had Bilic’s car out past curfew on the weekend and is being grounded?”
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Fresh from being mercilessly linked with a move to Manchester City in today’s Rumour Mill, West Ham have left Reece Oxford out of the match-day squad all-together. The two may or may not be related.
Seriously though, what has happened to him? Is this just Bilic taking him out of the firing line, or is he injured? Do get in touch for any Oxford/pre-match/what you’re having for dinner thoughts: michael.butler@theguardian.com or @michaelbutler18.
Team news:
West Ham: Randolph, Reid, Tomkins, Ogbonna, Cresswell, Noble, Kouyate, Lanzini, Moses, Sakho, Payet. Subs: Carroll, Jenkinson, Obiang, Collins, Jelavic, Antonio, Spiegel.
VicMo gets his first start for the Hammers. Andy Carroll is back on the bench, as are Jelavic and Antonio, freshly plucked from the Championship – both could make their debuts. If you’re wondering where Adrían is, he’s suspended.
Newcastle: Krul, Janmaat, Mbemba, Coloccini, Haidara, Anita, Colback, Sissoko, Wijnaldum, Thauvin, Cisse. Subs: De Jong, Gouffran, Obertan, Lascelles, Aarons, Perez, Darlow.
If you’re wondering where Mitrovic is, he’s suspended. Obviously. Other than Cissé coming into the starting XI for the tempestuous Serbian striker, Newcastle are unchanged from the team that faced Arsenal.
Referee: Anthony Taylor (Cheshire)
Preamble
Goodness knows what the bookies make of this one. So far in the Premier League, West Ham have played four, comprehensively beaten both Arsenal and Liverpool away from home, and lost on their own patch to Leicester and Bournemouth. Despite going out to Astra Giurgiu in the Europa League qualifying round, fans seemed content with the start, optimistic even. Newcastle spent over £52m over the summer, are yet to win a match, but were most recently clapped off the pitch by their own fans after losing at home to Arsenal. Funny business, this.
This is hardly a blockbuster dose of Monday Night Football but it’s certainly intriguing. “Lanzini is a wizard mate, so silky” a friend of mine exclaimed at five-a-side last week. He certainly looked good at Liverpool, but why has he been loitering in the middle east with Al Jazira for the last year or so? “Payet is a player” my cousin remarked at a wedding last month, fresh from watching some brief highlights on MOTD. He may have skinned Koscielny and Coutinho and scored a nice goal against Leicester but why has the man who has been on fire (and who had more assists than any other player in Europe’s top five leagues last year) left out of the latest France squad? All the answers – all of them – will be unequivocally answered tonight. “Obiang looks decent,” another quipped. Not really. Nobody apart from Paolo Bandini really knows anything about the former Sampdoria defensive midfielder. West Ham’s co-chairman David Gold didn’t know what he looked like. But apparently he shuts down the space well, at least until Alex Song recovers from injury.
Absolutely nobody has been hotly anticipating the reunion between Newcastle’s Steve ‘Wally with the Brolly McClaren’ and West Ham’s Slaven Bilić, following the latter’s 2007 duping of the former in that fateful Euro qualifying match, but we’ve dragged up a narrative to make things interesting. Hope you enjoy it.
Kick-off: 8pm BST
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