Well, u/justwhoringaround, you've certainly gotten on your high horse about this.

First off, what makes you think that putting small diamonds on the ring is a compromise at all? The issue is with diamonds in general, not "the big rock". Small diamonds are still diamonds and therefor are a part of the issue.

Secondly, I have been looking for compromises. The moisannite rocks were the original compromise; I could give her a much bigger alternative rock or afford a nicer band if I didn't spend as much money on a diamond. That way she would still get a respectable sized stone that looked pretty and had some personal meaning attached to the both of us. Look how I used that word "us", it'll be important soon.

You say that all you're hearing is "I, I, I" in relation to me, but all I'm hearing from you is "her, her, her". If you're worried about her upcoming marraige because I'm so selfish, shouldn't I be also worried about my upcoming marraige if she's too selfish to listen to alternatives that work for the both of us? I don't think she is, but apparently the only person whose opinion that matters on this issue is her.

As I wrote in the post I responded to nibs, I believe in spending money on the marraige, not on the wedding, and the ring fits under the wedding category. I'd rather her look at the ring and remember the trip we went on where I proposed, the wedding where we pledged our lasting love to each other, the honeymoon where we would spend visiting her dream vacation destination. (Not my dream vacation, mind you, hers.)

I didn't realize that "doing whatever you can to keep her happy" was a one-way street and meant that it was either her way or the highway. What if I can make her happy with an alternative that she doesn't even know about and hasn't considered because she thought the only way she could be happy was with a traditional diamond ring?

What I want her to think of when she looks at her ring is us, not just her or just me. I want the ring to represent the both of us seeing as how the ring is a symbol of our love and our commitment to each other. It's not a symbol of her or my love, it's that of ours. If the ring is all about her and I don't have a say in it, then surely it's a symbol of her wants, not our relationship.

Her reasons are that she wants a diamond because she's never imagined something else, and that she wants one. Have you noticed how that statement is all about her, and not about us? I want an alternative because there's an alternative that could be about us. Yes, it's her ring, but her ring is about more than her. Do you understand why I want a stake in what represents 50% of me?

I haven't dismissed her at all; I've sought more information from her and received little in the ways of a reason that I understand when I think there are different and perhaps better options. If I'd dismissed her ideas entirely, I wouldn't have posted on here asking for a variety of opinions, and I would have bought the ring I thought better without further discussion. Instead, I've gone out of my way to look at more and more options, and found some good ones lower in the comments that I will bring up with her when I talk with her again about this.

I never said that she's asked for something remotely unreasonable so I'm not sure why you decided to use that phrase. She stated what she wanted, I stated what I wanted, and we're at a bit of an impasse because what we both want seem to be opposite of one another. Hence my seeking of advice and opinions from other to look for other compromises to see what other options we have.

We don't need your good luck u/justwhoringaround. We need a solution that will work for the both of us, something that you have not provided.