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SupportI feel very depressed (self.Christianity)

BenjaminHammond が 投稿

I've been a Christian all my life. As I've grown, I've come to know more and more about the wonder and mystery of our Holy, Gracious and Beautiful God and Lord Jesus. However, at the same time, I seem to experience every day under the weight of crippling depression. Fear and anxiety grip me at almost any given moment. I am scared of so many things. I just can't seem to find joy. It has led to bitterness and hatred.

There are reasons why I might be depressed/anxious, but I won't go into them now. I have self-harmed before. I have thought of suicide many times. In hindsight, the scariest period was when I found the idea of suicide comforting. It was desirable. Thankfully it isn't so now. But I am tempted to self-harm a lot. One of the few reasons I don't is because of my girlfriend and family, and what it does to them. I'm on anti-depressants.

God is always there, and always has been in my life. I can feel Him. I speak to Him, and He meets me. He is sanctifying me - and there is a lot yet to go through. But I am still under this banner of darkness. It's not just that I feel sorry for myself, but just looking at the world around me makes me feel such despair.

I'm not trying to write a sob story, I just really want to hear a genuine answer from some other Christians about how depression has been used by God in their lives. Please don't give lots of over optimistic, "Christianese" replies. I know everything you're going to say already. Just talk. How has such a state of depression (however it has come about) been used by God in your life?

Please pray that I'll see some kind of breakthrough. Help me Jesus.

Thank you.

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[–]Eastern OrthodoxLuluThePanda 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

It took me a lot of depression, anxiety, attempts, and a stay in the psych ward to finally realize I am worth something. I got out from under my abusive parent's thumbs. I take much better care of myself now. I still struggle with those thoughts, and I still panic a lot, but it does remind me that I get to love myself, too, and that that's a godly pursuit-recognizing myself as a unique and loved part of Creation.

I am constantly in some frame of anxiety. But the blessing there is that I am more prone to seek out the needs of others and to help, and that's something I'm trying really hard to foster.

[–]Christian (Canterbury Cross)blue9254 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

My anxiety and suicidal depression were catalysts for my conversion to Christianity in the first place. Even with that conversion, some days it's more clear than others that anxiety and depression have not left me. They've paralyzed me, they've extinguished my hope and my joy, they made me spend last March essentially glued to my couch, alone. But they've also encouraged deep within me further desire for the ultimate, the eternal, the transcendent. Further than that, I don't know what positive purpose they've served.

[–]Reformed Baptistdeadweather 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

For what it's worth, I have episodes of deep depression. One thing that really helps is exercise and eating healthy. A little bit of cardio every day really goes a long way. I know everyone is different but Its been great for me.

[–]Episcopalian (Anglican)Plainchant 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

One thing that really helps is exercise and eating healthy.

I have, in the worst parts of my life, never succumbed to depression, and I believe that this is why. When you let yourself go physically, you end up taking an emotional and spiritual hit as well.

[–]OrthocuriousLinkedDestroyer 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I know the feeling. The world is a dark,scary place, but I am going to make my piece shine brighter than the average. Find a passion and live for it, that is the only thing we can do.

[–]Roman Catholicbaddspellar 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Depression is an illness, and there are ways to treat it using medication, therapy, and other means. I pray that you are seeking the help you need, and that you never lose hope that you will find a way to lighten your darkness.

Depression is a burden that some of us bear. We all bear burdens of some kind. We don't get to choose our burdens, but we get to choose how we respond to them. We can choose to seek and accept the help and love and care of others, or not. We can see them as mirrors of the suffering that Christ accepted for us, or not. We can continue to pray for relief, or not.

It is in responding to the suffering of others, and trying to lighten their burdens that we are most like Christ. I have found that those who have suffered heavy burdens of their own tend to have an extra measure of compassion for others who are suffering now. You will find childhood survivors of the suicide of a parent starting summer camps for other childhood survivors. You will find people who recovered from serious eating disorders starting non-profits that bring help to those currently suffering. You will find survivors of childhood sex trafficking starting businesses to provide training, jobs, and services to runaway youth. Examples of this are endless.

Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack in everything

That's how the light gets in

Leonard Cohen

[–]Episcopalian (Anglican)Plainchant 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Prayers that things work out for you, friend. Please remember that there are people who care about you, even from a distance.

[–]Skinnystarter 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Im struggling with depression and anxiety too. It took me a long time to accept that depression is a constant battle with a life threatening illness. An illness that afflicts the heart and mind, turning them against themselves. The most important thing I've learned on the road to recovery is that there's such a thing as healthy self love. I realized that to do that, I'd need to do what I do for other people I love:make sacrifices. Applying this to myself has made me more active, which has helped to lighten the darkest days. (Prayer and meditation help a lot, too)

[–]Nekkk 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Please try to get some professional help, self harming and thoughts of suicide is not something you should try to just "get through", it is a serious mental health issue. Some dismiss therapy because they think "that makes me a crazy person", but that is just wrong. Depression like the one you describe are normally the result of chemical imbalances, as well as underlying trauma. Please, get help from someone who is trained to deal with this! If you believe in God, then it would surely also follow that you should value your life enough to try to protect it by getting help.

[–]TheLastBook 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

God is always there, and always has been in my life. I can feel Him. I speak to Him, and He meets me. He is sanctifying me - and there is a lot yet to go through. But I am still under this banner of darkness

Man. I can identify with this. When I pray, I just have never felt like I am talking to myself. I always feel bad for the people that do, but can never understand it.

But I suffer from crippling anxiety in my life. I have been homeless two times, sleeping in my car. But I have never given up on my faith now that I have returned to it. The only thing I can tell you brother, is that this life doesn't matter. Yes. That sounds weird. But it is the basic premise behind our beliefs, behind the gospel. It is all about the next life, the transcendence, or what have you.

Jesus actually states that there will be troubles in this life, today and tomorrow. We just have to have faith. I know you see the end-game, I know you have the love of Christ in your heart. I know you weep over your own sin and the sin of the masses. But it will be better one day, for you and me. Just keep the faith. Read the Word. We have Christ in us. Don't give in to the evil one. I have prayed for your strength.

[–]katewiches 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

My most depressed times have always lead to big changes in my life- or were after big changes occurred ie going to university, moving across the country, losing my job or not being able to get out of a rut.

Anxiety is always with me, I left my last job because the stress was giving me panic attacks. I always ask God to lead me and ask why I suffer to find my way, but He has always guided me where I need to be and given me hope in dark times over and over. I guess the real answer is that we are human and even the most devout Christians can suffer mentally as well, just don't lose faith in your path that He has laid for you. There's a reason for everything.

[–]PrivilegedGlimpse 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I struggle with depression and fear sometimes. I have experienced God's power in my life and have seen miracles but I still struggle. Many years ago I believe I was called to spend one hour a day with God. When I did things were good. He spoke to me and I usually knew what the next step in life was. But I have failed miserably to keep it up and I have struggled through a lot of the last ten years.

I think I just need to get close to God again and put Him first.

[–]iloveyou1234 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

now is the perfect time to read the book of Ecclesiastes. When Solomon wrote it, he was feeling exactly as you are now, hopeless and broken, and he was the wisest man in the world. After reading through it remember that Solomon did not know about Jesus, and thus had no way out of his depression, while you do.

[–]TheFrontPageSucks 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Relax and rest a little bit longer. Revelation 6:10-11

[–]Offthepoint 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Have you had a doctor rule out thyroid problems and/or a vitamin D deficiency? Either or both of these could be adding to your misery.

[–]Christian (Cross)beanbagfrog 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Just keep praying to Jesus, that's the only place you'll ever find real happiness. Resist the urge to sleep. Avoid sugar and processed foods. May God have mercy on you.

[–]Roman Catholicheatdeath -5ポイント-4ポイント  (9子コメント)

You have to choose not to be depressed. Depression is essentially a belief. People indulge in it because it is satisfying to indulge in self-pity. It's like an addictive drug. You just have to discard that feeling and refuse to allow it. Don't listen to music that encourages self-pity. Be stern with yourself, realize you are entitled to nothing, but are obligated to improve. It is good to criticize yourself, but not in a defeatist way that enables you to be lazy. You must believe that being depressed is something you used to do, but that you are now over it, forever.

[–]AzraelofSeraphim 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't believe that's entirely how depression works. Have you ever actually been depressed?

[–]Episcopalian (Anglican)havearemotecontrol 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Please reconsider. I'm pretty sure this hasn't got the backing of either science or your own church, and that it can be a very harmful set of ideas.

[–]katewiches 2ポイント3ポイント  (5子コメント)

Yeah, have you ever been depressed? Definitely sounds like something someone would say on the outside looking in and not truly understanding.

[–]Roman Catholicheatdeath -1ポイント0ポイント  (4子コメント)

Of course I was. For many years. There's no point in saying this though, because people just insist that I couldn't have been really depressed, because I refuse to believe it is something innate and permanent, but rather a psychological condition that is changeable through effort and will. I also rightly acknowledge depression's seductive and enjoyable elements, whereas others insist it is wholly bad, and that nobody would ever want to be depressed. That is the difference between a person who is depressed, and someone who used to be depressed.

[–]Nekkk 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

What you describe isn't clinical depression, but rather an emotional low point. They are both "real" depressions, the difference is that clinical depression is directly related to chemical imbalances, whilst emotional depressive states are normally tied to events or life circumstances. Like unemployment or death/trauma in the family or similar. Clinical depression can affect someone without any kind of underlying issues.

[–]Roman Catholicheatdeath 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

And there you have it. And yet, I was diagnosed with clinical depression, and put on anti-depression medication. "One of the most obvious cases I've ever seen," the psychiatrist told me. I spent about thirteen years of my life living that way, believing I was "depressed" by nature. You people are entirely predictable.

Everyone who is "sad" gets diagnosed with clinical depression these days, it's not hard. You go to a doctor and they diagnose you and put you on meds. It's not a rare condition no matter what people tell you. It's diagnosed entirely based on symptoms that are basically "being sad." No chemical analysis of your brain. Tons of people are on meds for clinical depression. Look how many people on reddit claim to have it! And whenever anyone posts about being sad, they are encouraged to talk to a psychiatrist and get on meds. That's basically the only solution that is ever offered.

And part of the idea is that you can never stop having it. There's no way out! It's like a little cult where people reinforce how depressed they are and how bad they have it. And the psych industry rakes in the cash the whole time.

I was depressed for the typical reasons, purposeless life, hating myself, God is a lie, blah blah blah. Also, if you look at the stuff written about depression you'll see it says that events can "trigger" it, lol. So even clinical depression is evidently subject to those!

Whatever, you're right; I'm not clinically depressed. Because clinical depression doesn't exist.

[–]Nekkk 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't know what kind of tests you took that gave you your diagnosis, but I can assure you that I strongly disagree that it is common with clinical depression due to chemical imbalances. On average I would say that i prescribe medication (apart from possibly simple anxiety medication) for maybe one case out of five. The rest are usually referred to therapy with a licensed therapist.

Also, not everyone who is "sad" gets the diagnosis "clinical depression", unless the doctor is a quack.

Your experience defies my experience, but ofc without actually having you as a patient i cannot say anything really. Perhaps you are a unique case, I really can't say. But everything you say would leave me to guess that you do not suffer from chemical deficiencies but from psychosomatic symptoms better treated with other therapy.

Regardless, i hope you can manage your situation as good as possible. Depression is never an easy thing to deal with, regardless of the underlying reasons for it.

[–]katewiches 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I agree with you, specifically that it isn't permanent. I can be depressed for 2-3 days or a month straight, but luckily I've never had it for years at a time. I'm exploring how to stay out of it, but anxiety does not help keep me grounded. Any reading material you suggest?

[–]Christian (Ichthys)Giraffes-Arnt-People 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Depression is a disease. It doesnt work like that.