It’s very, very subtle and I don’t think Pratchett intended it to read this way. 

But what I have seen throughout the Watch is that Angua, multiple times, wants to end her relationship with Carrot but feels that she cannot either because he is “too nice”*. When she verbally brings up that she has qualms and issues with their relationship he sort of smooths it over or talks over her to the point where she gives up and goes along with it. 

Sadly I do not have the book series with me at the moment or I would go through and pinpoint every situation that is a red flag. Really, though, it comes down to my intuition. Carrot does nothing *wrong*, per se (other than the time when he just bull dozes over her and is like, let’s go to the museum. oh you want to talk about our relationship? Why would you want to do that? Nothing is wrong, right? Let’s go to the museum. You’re being silly. Which doesn’t scream gas lighting AT ALL. hahah. no. never). But I trust my intuition and there are just moments in the series when my skin crawls and I want to tell Angua to run away, far away, from him. 

Can anyone help me out? Anyone have particular points of reference on hand? That’d be awesome.

Cheers for the ask! :D

*side note: he, to my knowledge, demonstrates sociopathic behaviour. There is no way his reaction to Angua being kidnapped in Jingo is a healthy one. While Granny Weatherwax likes to tout the notion of “personal is different from important” she decidedly does not follow it. Carrot does. To the point of it being unhealthy as he must be so emotionally removed from Angua that he only cares about her in an abstract way which is a problem in a relationship. Also, in general, Carrot’s lack of meaningful emotional engagement with those around him is super creepy. 

Side note re: “personal is different than important”. It can be. Of course. However, there are times when personal and important can coalesce into the same thing. There are also times when personal trumps the perceived notion of “important” because it is personal so therefore important. Albeit, perhaps to just one or two people but that does not, in anyway, diminish its importance. Sometimes Pratchett writes these lines like 18 year old in philosophy 101 and it’s aggravating. If you think about them for ten minutes you will see where they fall apart. Angua should be important. Her existence should be important. But, evidently to Carrot, it is not. Just personal. As if they is less somehow.