I'm a man and I was raped.

The story: My GF was mad at me because I wanted a "night to myself" (We were already having relationship issues and I needed some space). She barged into my dorm, super drunk, and guilted me into having sex with her. I was not in the mood, and was feeling really low, but she eventually guilted me into sex. Yes, I got an erection, and I even came, but I felt so violated and from then on the dynamic of our relationship changed, and it took 6+ years after we broke up for me to recover.

My response to this: I can be emotional about rape, and still am. It is scary for me to talk about it, which is why I use an alt account. But that doesn't mean we can't have logical discussion, for Christ's sake! Let's think critically about this shit and look at different points of view and try to work on this issue from BOTH sides, male and female.

Also, "logic" doesn't mean "sans emotion." It means learn what logical fallacies are and don't use them.

EDIT: As this is getting a lot of attention, partly due to my lack of vital information in the above, let me expand on this:

1. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship that culminated in this incident. She used a lot of manipulation on me to keep me in the relationship, and used that same manipulation to manipulate me into sex. For example, she had different playlists in iTunes she would play, one for when I was being a "good BF" full of love songs, and another that was full of breakup songs, for when I was being a "shitty BF." She would also give me ultimatums a lot, and would get guilt trip me every time I had to leave because I was running late for rehearsals or classes. She'd make fun of my balding head and tell me it's okay, because she will still love me even with a bald head, even though other girls won't. Whenever I tried to talk to her about this stuff, she'd just laugh it off and say I couldn't take a joke.

2. The night in question, she coerced me through manipulation: She made me feel like I owed her sex, that sex was my way of proving my affection for her, continued to pressure me despite my repeated "no's" This is by definition "coercive sex," which is rape by definition.

3. The legal, FBI defintion of rape doesn't even include vagina-on-penis rape: “Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim." To me, this means our definitions need to be updated.

4. In fact, RAINN.org states that rape has very unclear and conflicting definitions: "The exact definition of “rape,” “sexual assault,” “sexual abuse” and similar terms differs by state. The wording can get confusing, since states often use different words to mean the same thing or use the same words to describe different things."

5. Yes, it is partly my own doing for staying in the relationship, and for not saying "No, GTFOff me, I don't want sex." But emotionally abusive relationships are a power play between two individuals. I was the weaker of the two of us, and she used that weakness to fulfill her needs at my expense.

6. What I gave was disingenuous consent. I said, "Ok, fine." but I didn't really mean it, and my last hour's worth of actions support that. So does disingenuous consent count as real consent? Some of you think it does, but I do not. I didn't give her genuine consent, and I feel she had every right to realize that. She had every reason to believe that my previous hour of pushing back her advances and clearly stating I wasn't interested in sex indicated that she proceeded in willful ignorance of my stance.

7. Yes, I call it "rape" or "sexual assault" and will continue to do so until there is a better word to describe what I've experienced. I felt as violated and broken as many other "legit" rape victims I've met. And really, there's no better word. Except maybe "Sexual coercion," but something tells me that those of you who disagree with "rape" will also disagree with "sexual coercion." If you have a better word for it than either "rape," "sexual assault," or "sexual coersion," let me know.

EDIT2: At this point, I will be ignoring all incoming responses. I need to move on. But my last point that I still seemed not to drive home:

1. Is this legally rape? I've never claimed it's legally rape, but if you look at #3, you'll see we have some wildly outdated definitions of rape in the legal system. So, just because it wouldn't hold up in court, doesn't mean it shouldn't be considered "rape." There used to be a time when a black man wasn't considered a person in the courtroom, or when marriage between two women wasn't considered a legal marriage, so saying that "It won't hold up in court" is a flimsy argument. Times change, and they should. Yes, I gave consent, but it was manipulated consent, and that shit shouldn't count.

2. Legal terms are often defined differently outside the courtroom. Take "Insanity" for example, which has a completely different definition in and out of the courtroom. I think the same can be said for other terms, including "rape." Maybe legally speaking, this isn't defined as rape, but socially and ethically speaking, it's essentially the same thing.

Taking a break form reddit in general, even with my main account. I gotta get some serious shit done, and this shit's fucking distracting as hell. Peace.