I am about three months in: read course prereqs, much of sidebar. Whew. The more I learn, the less I know. Anyway, wife and daughters came back from a two day trip I arranged and paid for months ago. Upon arriving back home, she is very cool towards me. No idea why, but I don't ask. Before RP, I would have. Now IDGAF. That night, I wake her up from a sound sleep and initiate sex, but she is all tense and just laying there and not giving me anything back so I stop and pull out. Her: "Whats wrong?" Me: "This isn't working for me. You're all tense and just laying there" very non chalant. I role over and go to sleep as it is late. First time I have EVER done this. Wasn't sure if I had the nerve, to be perfectly honest. But I am glad I did.

The next day, I aome home from work and she was tentative around me. After dinner she says, "I need to talk to you later."
Me: "Lets talk now. Put on something loose and feminine and meet me on the front porch." (She is still in her SAHM work clothes. I walk out to the porch. Ten minutes later, she re appears in a loose and feminine sundress. So far so good)

I tell her "Okay , you've got 15 minutes. Shoot." She raises an eyebrow at that, but makes no comment.

To summarize, the discussion was under 15 minutes. She leveled several emotional accusations against me (I am being demeaning, arrogant, any other woman would walk away, etc). I remained calm, held frame, and ended with amused mastery and humor. She also raised some concerns about how I am rougher in bed lately, and how it is making her "bleed" down there. That was pure bullshit, and I exposed it as such with ease. The last time I banged her was Sunday and she gave every sign of enjoyment, and I found no stains on the bed linen. I told her "Its nothing I have't done before, but its been a while so you'll get used to it." Subject was dropped forthwith. Before she could think of anything else, I asked her if she was wearing any underwear. She said yes. I mock critisized her for raising such an important topic with me while wearing underwear, and how disrespectful that was. She laughed. Then I grabbed her hand and said "Its a nice evening. Lets take a drive in the country." Her: " I'm not wearing any shoes." Me" "So?"

I stick my head in the front door and tell my oldest we are taking off for a while. Off we go in my car for a scenic drive in the country. (Sidenote: I have been doing this with her all summer; taking her for little spontaneous jaunts. I go a little farther from home each time and she has not shoes, purse, or cellphone. All she has is the dress on her back. I found I enjoyed this because it is helping to break down her inhibitions. For the duration of the trip, she is vulnerable and totally in my power. At first she was very reluctant and scared. Now she comes with me with nary a word.)

I'm pleased and amazed with my progress so far, yet conscious that I have a long way to go. I am grateful for this site and for a select few other sites. I have not had a fight with wife now for three months, and my wife and children are more and more responding to my vibe and following my lead. I'm working out (lifting & short intense cardio), feeling great. Upgraded wardrobe, spoke to wife about finances, told her if she goes back to work for a year, we will be able to finally pay off some old debts and move towards some long term financial goals. She agreed, and is going to start next week at a job I found for her. She is not thrilled about it, but she is doing it. ( Watch what they do, not what they say" Indeed!) I am never going back to the shrill BP beta bitch I turned into. Lessons learned? don't get complacent, hold frame at all costs, avoid deep or lengthy conversations, and forge ahead with OI. Never look back.