1. Anonymous asks:

    He put something in my drink, took me down a path near the beach and raped me, then raped me anally. I feel like I deserve it because I was drinking. Everyone around me blames me. I don't feel safe.

    It is NEVER your fault. People drink. That’s okay. It was his choice to drug you, to rape you, and it was wrong. I don’t know how to make you feel safe and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It may help to find someone to talk through the experience with. But please don’t blame yourself. - Alisha

    Nope. You didn’t deserve it. You got roofied. And that’s assault. Not your fault. You have a right to drink without rapists putting drugs in your drink. - Magpie

    You did NOT deserve it. It doesn’t matter how much you drank; no one has any right at all to touch you if you do not consent. This is absolutely not your fault. You experienced a significant trauma to have to process, and I would strongly encourage you to find someone who can help guide you through this – a counselor, a therapist, or if those options aren’t readily available, you could always contact the Rape Abuse & Incest National Network hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673). https://rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-hotline Please take care. - Caitlin

  2. Anonymous asks:

    I just saw this blog and I'm in tears. Only a few ppl know this, but when I was 13 I was forced to give oral to a male (or at least was) friend who was 17 at the time. He told me it was because I liked his cousin and not him, and that I deserved it. I ended up getting away but he hurt me so bad and ever since I was so terrified of sex. But now I'm finally healing and I'm with a gentle guy now..

    How horrible – I’m so sorry that happened to you, and I am so glad that you are healing and with a partner who treats you with kindness and respect. You didn’t deserve what happened to you, and it was in no way your fault. You deserve to be happy and healthy. Thank you for sharing your story here. - Caitlin

    I want to congratulate you on how far you’ve come with such minimal support, and tell you that it absolutely was not your fault. It is so hard to heal from the trauma of sexual assault. I’m really sorry that you were assaulted, that this person you believed to be a friend completely violated you and your trust, and that you still have to deal with the fallout. I hope you are honest with your guy now about your comfort level and needs as far as that healing process goes, and that he supports you in your recovery. - Stefanie

  3. arp1033 asks:

    I am a person who was born and identifies as male, but I have a story about something that happened to me; would it be ok to send it to you?

    Certainly.

  4. Anonymous asks:

    Do you have submissions?

    yes, we take questions here in our ask box and we take longer submissions at ibelieveyouitsnotyourfault@gmail.com

  5. Anonymous asks:

    This is great. However, can I make a suggestion that on these stories you put a disclaimer before about the type of triggers that may be included in each story? Some victims, my self included, can get panic attacks reading anything similar to their personal story. Thank you for making this!

    Hello! We try to post content warnings in the notes of each post - if you use it with Tumblr Savior, it will immediately filter those out for you. Hope that helps!

  6. The next morning was full of apologies

    by Anonymous


    We were eight months into the relationship when it happened. Over the course of those eight months I had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, started therapy and a low dose of antidepressants. We had also broken up once and got back together. He didn’t really understand my depression, which is understandable, but he made no effort to recognize my progress. 

    I’m a pretty by the book person, I like making plans. He would often bail on me to spend time with other people. So this oneSunday rolls around, he decided he didn’t want to see me, and I went out drinking with my friends. After one glass too many of sangria, I showed up at his fraternity house because we slept together almost every night. Antidepressants don’t go well with alcohol, and I vomited profusely for at least a half hour.

    I was living in a triple but it was a rare occasion where my roommates were both not there and we decided to go to my room. I didn’t feel so hot after all that vomiting, and i just took my clothes off and passed out in my bed. I woke up to him having sex with my body… while watching pornography on his phone. I didn’t like it but I felt bad asking him to stop, I felt guilty for drinking as much as I did and we needed to “take advantage” of not having roommates for the night.
    I pretended to be asleep until he finished. Inside me. When I could have potentially thrown up my birth control. 

    The next morning was full of apologies… from me. I felt guilty for drinking too much. I felt guilty for bothering him. I felt guilty for messing up our night. I felt guilty for taking him away from his friends. For not staying awake for sex. I also called my gynecologist to check if I needed Plan B which thankfully I didn’t.
    A month later we broke up. He told me the only reason we were still together was because he thought I would kill myself if he tried to leave… so I left.

    Now the only thing I feel guilty for is staying with him as long as I did. To this day I question whether or not what happened constitutes as sexual assault, but deep down I know it does. It makes my skin crawl and gives me the shivers. I wouldn’t wish this feeling on even my worst enemy.


    stock photo credit

  7. Anonymous asks:

    thank you for this. On another note, in your disclaimer page could you include a couple hotlines (US and/or international) for your followers? I think it'd help

    great suggestion! We actually do have numbers on our Resources page

  8. Anonymous asks:

    I have a story I'd like to submit but it's too long. Do you have an email I can send it to?

    yep: ibelieveyouitsnotyourfault@gmail.com

  9. Anonymous asks:

    Can you help me? I'm new to my high school and I'm a senior (17 years old). There's been a boy following me around school and touching me periodically. It's nothing too explicit (yet). Just a hand on the shoulder and once he tried to tickle me (pt. 1

    (cont)  Well when I was waiting for my ride home from a Drama Club meeting, he found me and sat uncomfortably close to me. He told me I was beautiful and that he wished I’d talk to him more. That he would love it if I could be his girlfriend. I told him I have a boyfriend and showed him a picture of said boyfriend because he said he didn’t believe me. He proceeded to start threatening my boyfriend, describing to me ways he could hurt my boyfriend. He’s special needs. He hasn’t done anything explicitly harmful to me yet and I’m unsure of whether I should report this or not. He keeps finding me at school while I’m walking to class and yelling my name through the hall. I dont know what to do.

    Please find a school counselor or teacher that you trust and share this information with them. You should not have to feel unsafe or uncomfortable when you’re at school. The counselor or teacher should be able to help deescalate the situation before it does become something more. - Avital

    Your sensitivity is really amazing, but just because someone has special needs doesn’t mean they get to creep you out. He obviously needs some guidance about the right way to interact with people he’s attracted to, and that is not your responsibility! Share what’s been going on with a counselor or teacher who can follow up. They’re trained to take care of harassment situations like yours and can help him change his behavior. - Stefanie

  10. Anonymous asks:

    Hi there, I'm 29 so I'm a little old to be asking for help on your blog, but I am having such a hard time maintaining my faith in humanity and my will to live after domestic violence and rape both happened to me on 2 separate occasions within the last year- i don't deserve this, why should I even try anymore?

    There’s no such thing as too old to ask for help. What a garbage year for you. I’m so sorry. What has helped pull me out of my worst years (besides therapy, which I heartily recommend) is surrounding myself with really strong, supportive, authentic friends. If that isn’t a possibility for you in real life, there are online communities, too! When the “can’t” starts to take over, let other people lend you some “can.” Go easy on yourself and drop some obligations if you’re able. Keep a friend or two on standby for the times when you’re really despairing. Keep trying because you are important and these horrible things that happened to you don’t deserve to take you down. - Stefanie

    I understand these tough times. None of these things should have happened to you, it’s not right, and it’s not fair. And it sucks that you have to push through it all when it’s so damn hard. But I hope that you do, because in spite of it all, you are here today and that makes you stronger than anybody who has hurt you. It can get better - I don’t know when, and I can’t even say that I know how, I just know that it can and it does. And when it does, it’s worth it. I believe you, it’s not your fault. I’m glad you’re here. - Ijeoma

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