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WHITE MALE OPINIONSOn the Virginia shooting (self.ShitRedditSays)

dankman42099 が 投稿

YOU censored r/jailbait, an extremely popular community that was KNOWN to host no illegal content

You made a SCIENTIST CRY on the BEST DAY OF HIS LIFE over a SHIRT!

You censored FPH, a healthy, light-hearted circlejerk sub that was CONFIRMED to have helped fat people overcome their condition!

You censored Coontown, for no reason AT ALL other than that their thoughtcrimes hurt your feefees.

You RAPED Victoria's life, an amazing, beautiful person which ALL reddit depended on.

You RUINED r/punchablefaces, r/LGBT, r/cringe, and a fuckton of other amazing communities you managed to set your claws on

But now I'm getting REALLY sick of your bullshit.

I know you anti-free speech delicate little princesses will ban me faster than you can say "TRIGGERED!!!1!1", but I don't give a shit. Wanna know why? It's because everywhere outside your ridiculous, autistic little hugboxes, people are waking up to your blasphemous LIES and to the pathological, Lovecraftian hate they're made of. You can censor all you want, but you will NEVER silence us

Because the truth is ban-proof.

Every. single. day, you self-important, sanctimonious, holier-than-thou, cloying, sycophantic, oleaginous SJWs spew THE most vile hate speech currently in existence against us, the ridiculous neckbearded, euphoric, STEMlord, mangry, beardteary, ausistic, virgin, shitlord "muh-soggy-nerd", using ANY misfortune ever to have befallen a minority as a pretext. It's painfully obvious you don't really care about SJ; the only motivation for anything you do is HATE. Hate so intense it could vaporize the ocean, power interstellar travel, and outshine the sun.

And now that we're rightfully fearing for our lives, because one of YOU has finally acted on his barbarically violent impulses, declaring a race war (proving once again that you're no different from Nazis), you found a way to attack US, saying we're milking this catastrophe to further our agenda.

You HAVE to be fucking SHITTING us!! EVERY bad thing that EVER happens gets usurped by you in a way so disgusting, so uncaring, so cynical, so transparently selfish, it would make even Obama cringe!

HOLY shit, GET A LIFE! Don't you have any hobbies? A job? ANYTHING else to do, other than beta-orbiting, fapping to emetophilic revenge fantasy white man snuff, using your own tears as lube, and HATE??? There is NOTHING forcing you to stay on reddit. Have you ever considered leaving your cum-stained basement and getting a life? I'm sure mommy would be proud!

There is no way you are living healthy, or even tolerable lives, with THIS much hate! You are the most pathetic losers I have EVER seen. Usually, I'd feel sorry for you, but people are being CENSORED, TORTURED and now MURDERED IN COLD BLOOD BY YOU MANIACS!!!

I'm sure you're too busy celebrating the coming of your new messiah and the official declaration of war to have noticed, so I'll warn you: there WILL be consequences! You think we'll just sit on our asses like fat autists as you try to shove us into gas chambers!? FUCK no, not under my watch, not as long as straight white men have any dignity left, because you CANNOT get away with HUMILIATING an entire demographic forever! You want war? FINE! But when you inevitably come to us being for mercy, like the little cucks you are, be warned: you will NEVER have it!

全 183 件のコメント
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トップ新着論争中古い順Q&A

[–]NotMyBestPlan 140ポイント141ポイント  (7子コメント)

I keep starting a counterpoint post, but I keep coming up short. How do you even deal with something of this magnitude? This is basically the living embodiment of the straw redditor given life and set free.

I just... Wow. This is hilarious. This is beautiful. This is a work of art in how to construct a rage-filled essay that is wrong in every way imaginable.

Full marks to you on that. Unless, of course, you're serious, in which case maybe you should seek help before it's too late? You seem to have some unresolved anger issues you need to work out.

[–]zawqvz 100ポイント101ポイント  (3子コメント)

It's hits every ragenote so precisely though, it comes off as a bit too perfect to be genuine salt. I'm pretty sure even the typo at the end was painstakingly added as a little garnish. I kind of wonder if this was generated by algorithm-- did subredditsimulator finally get its wish and become a real redditor?

[–]FullClockworkOddessy 43ポイント44ポイント  (1子コメント)

Subredditsimulator is more self aware than your average Redditor. Becoming real would be a downgrade for it.

[–]dv12900Mostly Harmless 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

Subredditsimulator will never become a real boy because it would never be able to prove itself as brave, truthful, and unselfish to the Blue Fairy.

[–]Cupbearer 22ポイント23ポイント  (0子コメント)

I stopped believing when he described his group as STEMlords, mangry and virgins.

[–]Pyrolytic⊹⋛⋋( ՞ਊ ՞)⋌⋚⊹ 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's times like this we need some Scarecrow Wizard of Oz smilies...

[–]Hey-its-ShayPlease excuse any mistakes. I'm writing this with my vagina. 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I second this. We need strawman smilies!

[–]Pyromaniacal13 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

You roll your eyes, and hit the back button.

[–]DarkHunterXYZ 111ポイント112ポイント  (3子コメント)

Fake and straight

[–]TheEmbernova(◞◟˘ ³˘)♥ 37ポイント38ポイント  (0子コメント)

how boring :3c

[–]salty-sardinesdelicate sensibilities 16ポイント17ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yeah, this is the first LMBO post I've actually downvoted (and not in the ups-are-downs sense). It's not really fun, it's just obvious and boring.

meh/10

[–]SallyMason 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Your censorship cannot last forever!!!

[–]Topyka2stealing bootstraps and breaking windows 103ポイント104ポイント  (5子コメント)

21 day old account, filled with this stuff. I can't tell if this is real or fake, but both possibilities are hilarious.

[–]BushyBrowz 86ポイント87ポイント  (2子コメント)

"neckbearded, euphoric STEMlord, mangry, virgin redditors"

Yeah, I'mma say troll but it's hilarious anyway.

[–]curiiouscatprofessional sperm jacker 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

If it isn't a troll, I'd assume that was said mockingly.

[–]DeathWalkingTerroroppressed cis white guy 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's definitely a Poe at the very least. There's no way this can be serious.

[–]Blunderaem 29ポイント30ポイント  (0子コメント)

Look at their name. Either a troll or someone so not self-aware that they took the near equivalent of "AyyLmao-man" unironically.

Well I guess there is a third option they are a marijuana enthusiast, but they seem too high strung for that to be the case.

[–]KitsunelaineLocal Foxgirl 66ポイント67ポイント  (2子コメント)

in early before this gets thrown to the front page with 3k upvotes & gilded

anyone want popcorn?

[–]CranberryHorses(- • -)♪♫♪ 22ポイント23ポイント  (1子コメント)

I would love some.

[–]FullClockworkOddessy 23ポイント24ポイント  (0子コメント)

Insert Sarkeesian popcorn gif here.

[–]ssjwlevel3 63ポイント64ポイント  (4子コメント)

This is absolutely satire from a parody account. I refuse to believe content this good could be created in earnest.

[–]PhuzzySA 23ポイント24ポイント  (0子コメント)

I want to believe :(

[–]ChicomoztocThe evil empire salutes the shevil fempire ☭ 17ポイント18ポイント  (0子コメント)

I agree, lately the LMBOS have been way too ludicrous. Must be parody...

[–]Grammatical_Aneurysmlady offenditron 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

us, the neckbearded, euphoric STEMlord, mangry, virgin redditors

Why does anyone think this isn't a joke?

[–]Dr_Irrelephant 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think he was saying that sarcastically, if this isn't parody.

[–]Mom_Fartswe shit out our butts and that's normal 42ポイント43ポイント  (8子コメント)

watch out, this dude has a thesaurus.

[–]cpttimAssgardians bridging via the Brofröst! 25ポイント26ポイント  (3子コメント)

Not gonna lie. Totally had to look up oleaginous.

[–]AlmostAlcoholicSkeletal Justice Wizard 11ポイント12ポイント  (2子コメント)

That's the one that got me too. What's it mean?

[–]MimesAreShite 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

"exaggeratedly and distastefully complimentary; obsequious"

i think he just picked a bunch of negative adjectives out of a hat tbh

[–]Hermas 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Having the qualities of oil.

[–]Pyrolytic⊹⋛⋋( ՞ਊ ՞)⋌⋚⊹ 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

He certainly showed us with his big words.

I am going to officially renounce my allegiance to BRD later this afternoon.

[–]KitsunelaineLocal Foxgirl 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

What's that, some kinda dinosaur?

[–]tbeysquirrelfeminist lizard 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think the most damage he could do with that is by throwing it at us

[–]RanchoUnicorno 90ポイント91ポイント  (3子コメント)

yes!!! FINALLY someone talking some sense into the GODDAMN FEMINISTS!!!!!!!

FUCKIn' PREACH MY BROTHER this is the shit I LIVE 4 PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN WHERE AT LEAST I KNO I'M FREE!

[–]BushyBrowz 24ポイント25ポイント  (2子コメント)

Hey man, I appreciate your patriotism but you should at least illustrate proper usage of the english language.

At least I know I'm free.

Edit: I'm an English major.

[–]Plob218But what about the menz? 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

Don't say that too loud! The local gang, The STEM Boys, they don't like humanities-types. You're liable to get yourself hurt, or worse...

A group of toughs in white lab coats enters

gasp! It's too late!

"Hey gang, look what we have here: Poindexter glasses. Calloused fingertips from turning pages in books all day. A glimmer of basic human emotions in the eye. I'd say we got a liberal arts weenie! GET 'EM!"

[–]dv12900Mostly Harmless 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

English major

lol I would like fries with that ALRIGHT BROS HIGH FIVE??? Luckily an enlightened STEMbro such as me won't have to listen to this feminist nonsense which allows me to spend my time writing even more Reddit comments.

[–]ArchangelleHelenelleOF OUR BRD'S BATH 41ポイント42ポイント  (4子コメント)

Lovecraftian hate

Wow that's a new one. I'm really excited to see where it goes from here. PBUF

[–]FullClockworkOddessy 31ポイント32ポイント  (0子コメント)

Anti-racism is code for Cthulhu ftghan!

[–]Paradoxius 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yog-Sothoth descends from the heavens. "Your fave is problematic."

[–]loyalpoposition 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Outside the ordered redditverse is that amorphous blight of nethermost confusion which blasphemes and bubbles at the center of all infinity—the boundless daemon sultan BRD, whose name no lips dare speak aloud, and who gnaws hungrily in inconceivable, unlighted subreddits beyond time and space amidst the muffled, maddening beating of vile downvotes and the thin monotonous whine of accursed manchildren.

[–]FranksFamousSunTea 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

ph'nglui mglw'nafh BRD R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

[–]ktkaslak 68ポイント69ポイント  (14子コメント)

Oh wow. Just wow. I thought this was a parody, but tbh I should have expected something this brainless from a white man. I really think they are just biologically inclined to be this ridiculous. I know there are smart white men, but honestly those are just the minority. If you look at evolution, men hunted so all their energy went to developing muscles, while with women, they had time to evolve empathy and intelligence. This is why men prefer brainless manual labor while women get better grades in university and have higher graduation rates. Also, white people lived in such close contact with animals they just became disease ridden and therefore evolution selected for immunity and insulation from the cold, whereas more energy went to the brains of POC. I honestly can't believe any white man accomplishes anything!

[–]MythicalMothman 40ポイント41ポイント  (4子コメント)

This is just facts, you can't argue with facts.

[–]FrozenDuraznos 22ポイント23ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah maybe if white men stopped wasting their time with emotions and spent some time with FACTS and LOGIC.

[–]Preemptive_Strut 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

False: I always use facts to argue.

[–]namesflory 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah when did facts become racist?

[–]AtypicalTuesdays 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Facts aren't racists

[–]BushyBrowz 27ポイント28ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'd be very curious to study what the effect living in cold areas had upon penis size. I'm not racist, but it's frankly ignorant to not acknowledge a possible correlation.

[–]GayFesh 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm just asking questions!

[–]samjakGender Traitor POW 22ポイント23ポイント  (0子コメント)

White men are basically animals, they aren't capable of advanced thought tbh

[–]Nethryn 21ポイント22ポイント  (1子コメント)

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a sexist. I don't hate white men, I just hate white male CULTURE. It's totally different, you know?

[–]asufundevils2 -5ポイント-4ポイント  (3子コメント)

How is saying white men are for the most part brainless and that smart white men are a minority not considered a racist and sexist remarks? I'm sure there's some circlejerk I'm missing where this is actually copypasta and you just changed black to white, but the question still stands. Isn't saying things like this completely against what you stand for here?

[–]GayFesh 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

"Hmm. This is a circlejerk sub and I know this thing is written to parody the shitty racism of Reddit dudebros and armchair evopsych philosophers, but I just can't get over that this thing that is a parody of Reddit's racism looks to me like racism. Also, has anyone noticed how Spaceballs basically just ripped off Star Wars?"

[–]ArchangelleJazeeraOF OUR BRD'S NEWS AGENCY[M] 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

here I'll give you some more time to lurk without embarassing yourself

[–]doggiedogdogdogdogSocial Justice Unit -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

lel you so don't get it

[–]ArchangelleJazeeraOF OUR BRD'S NEWS AGENCY[M] 207ポイント208ポイント  (17子コメント)

Wow, white males get really upset and offended easily.

[–]packyouuppao / sarkeesian 2016 158ポイント159ポイント  (4子コメント)

Men are often ruled by their emotions.

[–]heidismiles 105ポイント106ポイント  (0子コメント)

He must be hormonal.

[–]electricminkBRD, BRD, BRD - BRD is le whirred 39ポイント40ポイント  (1子コメント)

Indeed.

[–]supferretsjinkies! my problem glasses! 38ポイント39ポイント  (0子コメント)

Just another reason they shouldn't be allowed to vote.

[–]ChicomoztocThe evil empire salutes the shevil fempire ☭ 54ポイント55ポイント  (7子コメント)

Ok, be honest, this is parody right? I mean c'mon... this is mods having a laugh, no?

It's like the perfect storm of childish dense nonsense, it's too perfect. I don't buy it.

[–]Nethryn 29ポイント30ポイント  (2子コメント)

I thought that too, until I read the accounts comment history. This dude seems to actually believe this stuff.

[–]YourGranny 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

against us, the neckbearded, euphoric STEMlord, mangry, virgin redditors

This didn't tip you off?

[–]salty-sardinesdelicate sensibilities 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

Eh, it's not many comments over a month's timespan. Easy to fake and keep around for when the occasion arises.

[–]CritterTeacher 16ポイント17ポイント  (2子コメント)

I up voted about three lines in thinking it was satire. Isn't there a law about when you can't tell a crazy person's rankings from satire?

[–]jablair51Social Justice Pyro 11ポイント12ポイント  (1子コメント)

Poe's Law. It was originally made about Creationists but it seems to fit just about any ideological extremist.

[–]ApoChaos 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

I feel like if the satire isn't distinguishable then it's failed as satire and is just extreme emulation.

[–]Paradoxius 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

A lot of it seems like satire, but it would be really uncouth to make light of the shootings in question, so I think it's sincere. Plus, this is reddit; this level of delusion is par for the course.

[–]Cammadore64 43ポイント44ポイント  (1子コメント)

TO BE FAIR

[–]GayFesh 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Let me play devil's advocate...

[–]Pyrolytic⊹⋛⋋( ՞ਊ ՞)⋌⋚⊹ 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

He may want to return his jimmies to the upright and locked position.

Don't cross him, though. The consequences will never be the same.

[–]nineleaflotus1clamhurt legbeard 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's really why I don't think they should run companies or be in government. What if one wants oral sex and creates a disastrous sideshow for an entire nation? What if one wants to prove he's a manly cowboy on an aircraft carrier and starts wars? What if they crash the economy because of some macho bullshit?

Back to the garage with you, sweetforearms, let the life-givers handle the tough issues. Cool story, bro, now change my oil.

[–]trainfanyayWe've found a type of prejudice previously thought to be extinct 51ポイント52ポイント  (5子コメント)

~Science!~

~Technology!~

~Engineering!~

~Mathematics!~

~Logic!~

GO REDDIT

"By your powers combined, I am captain Reddit!"

Captain Reddit! He's our hero.

Gonna take misandry down to zero.

He's our neckbeard, magnified.

And he's fighting on the pedo's side.

Captain Reddit! He's our hero.

Gonna take misandry down to zero.

Gonna help him give some flak to

SJWs who like to

seduce and spermjack!

"You'll pay for this, Captain Reddit!"

We're the Redditeers!

You can be one, too!

Cuz freezing our peaches is the thing to do.

equal rights and non-whites

are not the way.

Hear what Captain Reddit

has to say:

THE PRIVILEGE IS YOURS

[–]xowxpeacocking with zir balla ass spoon 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

this is glorious

[–]proGGthrowaway< not actually pro-GG 7ポイント8ポイント  (2子コメント)

drug and spermjack!

im sorry but what the fuck

[–]Benroark 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

verbs brah

[–]trainfanyayWe've found a type of prejudice previously thought to be extinct 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It was a reference to this but I see what you're getting at. It's been altered.

[–]AliasAuroraliterally incapable of not shouting at poop 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I want a nightcore remix of this.

[–]Tophersaurus168Certified Sexual Fun Oppressor, Ph.D 27ポイント28ポイント  (2子コメント)

Ahhh, there's the batshit insane, absolutely impotent rage I've been craving. Please provide more, in my inbox if you must, anything I can share with the class.

[–]kfkz 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

Seconded. I'm like Tinkerbell and applause. I need white male tears to live.

[–]FrozenDuraznos 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

0/10 didn't say how much he can lift

[–]Cinnaren 24ポイント25ポイント  (3子コメント)

Reminds me of

[–]Hey-its-ShayPlease excuse any mistakes. I'm writing this with my vagina. 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Who is that freedom fighter?

[–]saati 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's one of the advisers from sim city 2000.

[–]doggiedogdogdogdogSocial Justice Unit 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It pops up when you cut back on road funding.

[–]istva 39ポイント40ポイント  (0子コメント)

[–]Shurman 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

FPH, a healthy, light-hearted sub.

[–]MURDERSMASH 21ポイント22ポイント  (3子コメント)

I had this hilarious redditeur tagged in RES for this comment:

You serious? It is a known fact that SJWs are nothing but the offspring of puritanical progressivism. They can't be bargained with, reasoned with, and will absolutely not stop until reddit is a feefee-worshipping 1984 malefrei reich

PURITANICAL PROGRESSIVISM

[–]FrozenDuraznos 12ポイント13ポイント  (1子コメント)

He was pre tagged? Holy shit this is real?

[–]Harfangdesneigespuritanical progressive 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thanks for the new flair

[–]buttezSOCIAL JUSTICE BARD 27ポイント28ポイント  (1子コメント)

rage more, nerd

[–]Pyrolytic⊹⋛⋋( ՞ਊ ՞)⋌⋚⊹ 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

he mad

[–]nodying 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

A sub-forum encouraging the sexualization of the very young, one about mocking people online and off for being fat, and one for naked hate against people with dark hides.

And these are some of the most desperately defended sub-forums on this website.

This is why BRD hates us. Her Great Work is far from done. (For real though, using a heinous murder as an excuse to snipe at a circlejerk sub-forum is appalling)

[–]electricminkBRD, BRD, BRD - BRD is le whirred 17ポイント18ポイント  (0子コメント)

You should quit huffing your own farts, le gentlesir....and your trilby may be a tetch too tight.

[–]LIATGThe natural predator of attack helicopters 19ポイント20ポイント  (0子コメント)

Love you too babe <3

[–]Benroark 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

He's right. You people are the cancer of Rrrrrrreddit!

[–]GayFesh 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

I am genuinely stumped. Poe's law in action.

[–]Kakya 14ポイント15ポイント  (1子コメント)

"WAR WAR WAR, WE CAN DO WAR, WE LOVE WAR. WE WIN WAR. WE WHITE MEN WIN WAR.

MEANWHILE, Y U ALL SO VIOLENT?!"

[–]FullClockworkOddessy 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

White men only know death and subjugation, and only deserve the same.

[–]pizzaallday 18ポイント19ポイント  (4子コメント)

Aw dang. A cry baby post and my white male tears mug is in the dishwasher!

[–]doggiedogdogdogdogSocial Justice Unit 15ポイント16ポイント  (3子コメント)

You don't keep a set? What if you have guests from the fempire?!

[–]RacecarlockSocial Justice Sharknado 11ポイント12ポイント  (1子コメント)

-0 points

Somebody's mangry.

[–]doggiedogdogdogdogSocial Justice Unit 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

What can I say? Shitlords love me.

[–]Hey-its-ShayPlease excuse any mistakes. I'm writing this with my vagina. 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

You can borrow my jar. It's not fancy but it gets the job done.

[–]besharedwaaah waaah waaaah 10ポイント11ポイント  (1子コメント)

Guise, he figured us out...we have to act quick and commence plan B.

[–]Pyrolytic⊹⋛⋋( ՞ਊ ՞)⋌⋚⊹ 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Open a Coldstone's Creamery?

[–]WesternCanadaKing 11ポイント12ポイント  (2子コメント)

HOLY shit, GET A LIFE! Don't you have any hobbies? A job? ANYTHING else to do

The lack of self awareness is seeping through my computer screen. What do I do, it's getting everywhere.

[–]Pyrolytic⊹⋛⋋( ՞ਊ ՞)⋌⋚⊹ 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

If you take your spray bottle of white tears you can use it and your copy of the bill of rights to clean it up. Works every time.

[–]doggiedogdogdogdogSocial Justice Unit 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

My hobbies include:

  • Misandry
  • Being a gender traitor
  • video games
  • aquarium keeping
  • cooking
  • Dismantling the patriarchy male by male.

[–]Cammadore64 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

OOHH SHIT this is the first time I've recognized someone on reddit from their hilarious writing style. Look at this beaut of a response he gave me earlier today:

Time to give up, SJW. Your narrative is crumbling like a house of cards under the weight of the facts. How fucking stupid do you think we are? Do you really think anyone's going to buy that your pathetic tumblr made up words are more important than literal terrorism!? I can assure you that every day more people are waking up to your vile lies, and to the white-hot hate they're made of.

He sounds like some kind of redditor super hero. By day he is /u/dankman42099, not so mild mannered redditor. But by night he is Dank Man! Defender of the strong! Champion of the privileged! Able to leap to conclusions in a single bound! DAAAAANK MAAAAAAN

[–]RacecarlockSocial Justice Sharknado 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

HAHAHAHAHAHA! This has enough white male tears to power our doom weapon for an entire fortnight!

[–]dabezian 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

There is NOTHING forcing you to stay on reddit

Get over it, SRS won the war against the shitlords

[–]EvilRethuglicanHide Your Peaches, the PC Police are Coming! 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

BUT NOW YOU'VE OFFICIALLY CROSSED THE LINE!

Oh shit! Were your "feefees" scuffed?

[–]SRS-ly 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

This needs the Saruman voice.

[–]TortugaNeve2The Keeper of Boobies 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

SO BRAVE

[–]moon_physics 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

FUCK no, not under my watch, not as long as straight white men have any dignity left

If this post is any indication, I think that ship might have already sailed buddy

[–]TheBigCon4800It's actually about ethics in BUT WHAT ABOUT SRS? 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

an extremely popular community that was KNOWN to host no illegal content

aside from kiddy porn

a healthy, light-hearted circlejerk sub that was CONFIRMED to have helped fat people overcome their condition!

look how healthy it was when they told a guy to kill himself.

for no reason AT ALL other than that their thoughtcrimes hurt your feefees.

and constant brigading at /r/blackladies

mother of BRD

[–]lborgia¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

I love the utterly unironic reference to Lovecraft, one of the most racist writers in modern literature.

[–]ChildOfComplexity[🍰] 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

I assumed thats why he used the term "Lovecraftian hate".

[–]petty_throwawayHate spewing tumblrina. 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

You use of the thesaurus is not bad. 6/10!

[–]koronicuspersecutor of manchildren 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is so perfect that even though it can't possibly be real, I don't even mind. 9/10.

[–]melulu21 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's swell, now go back to watching My Little Pony.

[–]YourGranny 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Disappointed by SRS, the qweens of satire and parody, for not recognizing this one.

[–]hisanimalgrace 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Drinking white male tears is my hobby. Thanks!

[–]QuintinStone 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

You mad?

[–]Hey-its-ShayPlease excuse any mistakes. I'm writing this with my vagina. 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

lol y he mad tho?

[–]sterfff 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

[–]doggiedogdogdogdogSocial Justice Unit 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

oleaginous

Somebody has a thesaurus.

[–]CressCrowbitsSuper Charged Man Basher 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's 8am here, afraid you'll have to wait a while before any Sarumangry dramatic reading action :(

[–]Harfangdesneigespuritanical progressive 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Okay everyone which one of you is it? Because there's no way this isn't fake

[–]VoteRonaldRayGunAnti-Racist is a codeword for Anti-Reddit 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hate so intense it could vaporize the ocean, power interstellar travel, and outshine the sun.

Just a sec...

Tried evaporating my glass of water and didn't work, do we all have to try together? Do the other superpowers work or what? I'd like to find that meteorite made of platinum to further fund my plans for world SJW domination.

[–]borgosanjacopo 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

5/10 - average troll attempt. Though your prose is well written and entertaining, your lack of subtlety gives you away immediately. It feels like you're trying too hard - sometimes less is more.

The fact you padded your account for 3 weeks before making this post to make it seem more plausible is somewhat admirable, but in my opinion you should have left it a bit longer (at least 2 months is recommended).

[–]tdogredman 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

HES SERIOUS OH MY GOD

https://www.reddit.com/r/punchablefaces/comments/3im8tg/this_white_and_most_likely_racist_mountain/cui81v4?context=3

LMAO

[–]NoxiousDogCloudi named my crowbar misandry 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Weak, very weak. You're trying too hard. You need to dial it back, and just let the words come naturally.

[–]tetraveraJewish American Pheminist 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

9/10 - delicious tears to be had, but content failed to match the title.

[–]Hembly 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Lovecraftian hate, huh. This should be added to the SRS Mythos.

[–]BuffySubredditSlayerSlaying shitlords since 1995 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

love you too

[–]barrypicklesbeta male 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

I am a 42 year old married man with 3 kids. I have my own basement.

[–]tbeysquirrelfeminist lizard 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

Laughing because I'm imagining a literal 14 y/o making a video of this beautiful monologue

[–]Pyrolytic⊹⋛⋋( ՞ਊ ՞)⋌⋚⊹ 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYfmfWChIkA

Kid rage is best rage. It's just so pure and pointless.

[–]Doofling 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

"Hate so intense it could [...] power interstellar travel"

Wait a minute, he has a point! Why aren't we doing this yet?

[–]Ohgoditsadildocorn 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

We can finally set up that base at Alpha Centauri!

[–]-NovowelsI'm not offended, I'm contemptuous. 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

[ THIS IS WHAT SHITLORDS ACTUALLY BELIEVE ]

[–]dotbykorsk 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is art in its highest form.

[–]Iheartjackalopes 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hahaha this is excellent parody work, who did this? Five stars.

[–]Plob218But what about the menz? 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Does it bother anyone else that he refers to himself as a member of a "demographic?" Gamergaters often refer to themselves as "consumers" too. It's like these people's identities are so wrapped up in stuff they buy that they can't help using advertising lingo to talk about themselves.

[–]Street_Latinreddit: intersectional bigotry 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

oleaginous

nooooice bro what was your score on the SAT

[–]rockman0 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

You weren't nearly this angry about what happened in Charleston, were you?

[–]True_Eaglelibrarian 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

You can censor all you want, but you will NEVER silence us!

Awesome! I wouldn't want to miss out on gold like this shitpost!! 😀

[–]alystr 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

there WILL be CoNsEqUeNcEs

[–]alystr 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

but like, seriously, stop co-opting a tragedy to win points over the ess-jay-dubyas.

[–]cheeseburger_dot_mp39 dex, 15 wis, 10 con, 79830 misandry 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

oy, I think e's takin' the piss

(imagine I'm british for this comment only)

[–]Buttstache✊Long live Ellen Pao! 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

What

[–]FrozenDuraznos 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Congrats, I literally have no idea if this is genuine. Not a clue. Dammit, Poe.

[–]Moon_Princessmoon_brd 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Geez you guys are really dropping the ball lately. Where on earth did you study drama? I can help you write up your next draft, just ask! I'd score you maybe a 3 or 2 overall. Look forward to seeing you again next month :-)

[–]Hey-its-ShayPlease excuse any mistakes. I'm writing this with my vagina. 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

we didn't censor SHIT

Enjoy your scapegoat, though.

[–]TornaydoTornahdo(audible sigh) 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

You know that song "Stuart" by the Dead Milkmen? That is the voice I read this in.

[–]TheHeroOfThePeopleCultural Bordigist 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Cease your impotent whining- Your fear for your own fragile priviliged identity is pathetic.

Furthermore the Virginia shooting is the work of a disgruntled, unstable maverick- He isn't an embodiment of what the "SJW's" want in the slightest.

And as to your accusations about vile hate speech towards you and your bland neckbearded buddies- Yes, I'm down with hating on misogynists, racists, fascists, elitists, STEMlords, gamergaters etc. For one thing it's fun, and for another thing you ought to be called out on your priviliged middle america cul-de-sac worldviews.

EDIT: Changed the order of a word or two

[–]nein_dankesmoke meth hail BRD 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Have my upvote, beard child.

[–]MJ-XX 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

this is satire

[–]Sammy-Rose 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not sure if serious or satire

[–]psychopathwolfy 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I live near Bridgewater and had to deal with a major road being locked down by police and all the local hysteria etc and even I don't know what this guys trying to say.

[–]haircut74 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Your tears are delicious.

[–]DL757I sell misandry and misandry accessories 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is the first really legendary beardtears post in my SRS tenure. Thank you, patriot

[–]dougbrochill 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Gr8 b8 m8

[–]SomeDrunkCommieSAWCSM, please ignore 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I appreciate the effort, but the impotent rage seems a little too forced.

[–]Admiral_Duckington 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Bravo, this is one of the best satires I've ever read. You are a gentleman and a scholar.

[–]Armenian-JensenCultural Marxist historian 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I dont hate anything. I just dont like you...

But come on, this must be a troll, right?

[–]waterfromhellBRD in a cage puts heaven in a rage 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Aw isn't it adorable he thinks we give a shit.

[–]Loaf_Of_Toast 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Is your shift key okay?

[–]emma-_______a rogue, misandric Amazon determined to purge all men from Earth 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Mangry Vocabulary Words of the Day:

oleaginous

adj. Of or relating to oil.

adj. Falsely or smugly earnest; unctuous: oleaginous flattery. See Synonyms at unctuous.

emetophilic

Emetophilia is a paraphilia in which an individual is sexually aroused by vomiting or observing others vomit, also referred to as a vomit fetish.

[–]Pyrolytic⊹⋛⋋( ՞ਊ ՞)⋌⋚⊹ 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Senpai noticed me!!!

[–]ARobotJetpackUnicorn 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

what does lmbo stand for

[–]Hey-its-ShayPlease excuse any mistakes. I'm writing this with my vagina. 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

laughing my butt off

We often use it as a noun. "I give this lmbo 6/10 dildz"

[–]leafitiger 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's beautiful....

[–]NobleMandrago 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

When is the obligatory dramatic reading coming? These male tears must be preserved for eternity.

[–]harry_nash 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Very creatively composed. I particularly liked the use of the terms feefees and emetophilic.

[–]iUsuallyDiea straight white guy, the ultimate evil 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

society is bullshit