I went to the mall to spy on the local Bitcoin ATM just to be sure no one would use it when, much to my surprise, I saw someone standing right in front of it. Not just any "someone", but a lady. A REAL LADY!

As you can imagine, I was stunned with fear. I could not let such an atrocity happen. Was she cashing out her used panties business? Did her sugar daddy give her an allowance? Perhaps she stole all the bitcoins from a true gentleman and now wanted to cash out? I don't know but I couldn't let it happen.

I fell to my knees and cried out! And just then I looked up to realize she was waiting for the redbox machine and was just standing next to the bitcoin ATM as part of the line. A wave of relief washed over me.