If you have stepped anywhere near social media in the past few days, you have undoubtedly come across the viral post rightfully shaming a customer who wrote "LOL" on the tip line in lieu of an actual dollar amount.

Posts like these pop up often, with social media users lauding restaurant patrons who overtip and shaming those who leave a server with an extremely low tip — or no tip at all.

Any change in expected tips is cause for excitement or panic — the fuel for these viral posts. But there’s part of the story that gets lost in the virality of it all, and it has to do with how we value the work of women.

Reliance on tips is the arbitrary system that decides how servers get paid — and women servers are much more likely to get tipped if they live up to the stereotype of the friendly, desirable, biddable waitress. Those who don't play the game tend to lose their tips and have a harder time surviving, particularly in an industry that pays them below poverty wages for each hour of work.

Having tipped money on the mind is a constant for servers, 71% of which are women. Thanks to this tipping power and "the customer is always right philosophies," women in the service industry find themselves navigating a sexist industry of unrecognized inequality.

Federal tip minimum wage has been frozen at $2.13 since 1991, even with raises made to non-tipped wages. Though some states mandate a higher minimum wage for service employees, many servers are stuck living on this extremely low wage, often left with few paycheck dollars after taxes.

While there are laws in place meant to ensure that servers get at least federal minimum wage by requiring employers to make up the difference if a server isn’t tipped enough during their shift, workers often report this isn’t the case. And, even if it is, even federal minimum wage isn’t a livable wage in the majority of states.

“Any tipped employee, male or female, is on a stage,” Dr. Miranda Kitterlin, Florida International University hospitality professor and expert on sexism in the service industry, tells Mashable.

“[Servers] have to act in a certain way in order to receive those tips," Kitterlin says. "That being said, of course that opens an opportunity for women and men in our industry to feel that they have to accept certain levels of harassment — be it sexual harassment or any form of rude behavior from guests.”

Jessica Wynter Martin moved to Washington D.C. about six months ago from California. In California, the minimum wage for tipped and non-tipped employees is the same — $9 per hour, the third highest tip minimum wage in the country.

Her move dropped her pay to $2.77, the tip minimum wage in D.C. — a wage slightly above the federally mandated $2.13. Even working full time at a small restaurant in a hotel, Jessica says she just squeezes by on what she makes, a reality that is common for servers in the restaurant industry.

For many women in the restaurant industry, the fastest way to prevent only barely making bills is to enhancing their “performance” through appearance. Jessica tells Mashable servers “wear what we can get away with wearing,” because a push up bra and tight shirt often means more tips. It’s service industry sexism at work — and Jessica knows that.

“It’s to get more tips, but it’s kind of opening the door — especially in our industry and culture,” Jessica said. “[Guests are] like, ‘Well, you’re asking for it. Your hair is all done. You’re wearing perfume with a low cut top. Of course you want me to grab your ass.’



Well, no, I don’t want you to grab my ass. I want you to tip 20% or 25%. I want you to shoot me an extra $4 or $5 because if every table does that tonight, I’m making an extra $40. And I need that money.

Well, no, I don’t want you to grab my ass. I want you to tip 20% or 25%. I want you to shoot me an extra $4 or $5 because if every table does that tonight, I’m making an extra $40. And I need that money."

Servers — especially women — accept certain levels of bad behavior. According to a Restaurant Opportunities Centers United and Forward Together study, 90% of women in the restaurant industry report experiencing some form of sexual harassment while on the job. Over half of women in the service industry report experiencing sexual harassment on a weekly basis.

“Instead of replying as you normally would in a certain societal setting with ‘that makes me uncomfortable,’ the server may simply smile, walk away and kind of internalize the negative emotions she has about [the interaction],” Kitterlin says.

But, for many servers, walking away often doesn’t mean leaving the situation for good. The show must go on, even in the wake of overt sexual commentary and discomfort. Returning to a table — to keep your job, your tip and any hope of a livable wage — is a necessity.

To supplement her low wage, Jessica is on food stamps — and she’s not alone. According to Restaurant Opportunities Center United, one in seven servers rely on food stamps to eat, an ironic and all-too-common fact.

“I’m spending all my day helping people who have $70 to spend on food, but I can’t barely afford my own,” Jessica says. “How messed up is that? I watch people go out, eat and they will spend $30 on an entree.



I got paid $30 all day in wages — and you just spent that on one entree.

I got paid $30 all day in wages — and you just spent that on one entree.”

She sees part of the problem stemming from the lack of awareness. She finds many people assuming tips for service workers pile on top of the federal non-tipped minimum wage, which in D.C. is $10.50. But with her tip minimum wage falling more than $7.50 below this federal wage, people are shocked to hear what she actually earns in a week.

“People will be like, ‘I thought we just raised minimum wage? Don’t you get 10.50?’” she says. “No, not us. We got left out. We always get left out.”

We are at a tipping point, with organizations like the Restaurant Opportunities Center United advocating for wage reform. But what that reform would look like is hard to say.

Kitterlin says it could radically change the industry — but that change might be a necessity to eliminate tip fueled sexism.

“There is definitely value in considering the elimination of tipping,” she says. “We need to be careful of how we go about doing that because we have historically been a country where tipping culture serves as a huge motivating factor for employees. Our employees feel more driven to give good service in order to make a good tip.”

Without the "motivating factor," your server may not have nightmares about serving a too-cold-entree. But they may be able to live above the poverty line. And, for Jessica, that’s the most important thing.

“I don’t think it’s right that people in America are getting paid $2 and change to do any job,” she says. “I don’t think it’s right. I didn’t have to live with it being in California — I could just kind of forget that most of the nation is making nothing.”