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Ask HN: Where would you move your family to?
11 points by scurvy 1 day ago | 27 comments
My wife and I currently live in San Francisco, both working for tech companies. She's due with our first child at the end of the year. The prospect of raising a family in the Bay Area isn't really getting me excited, and I think that there might be better places out there that I'm not thinking of.

Our situation is as follows: * We're both in our thirties and have good careers, but not at any single company. We're respected enough and have deep enough professional networks that we could quit our jobs and have new (probably better) ones by end-of-day.

* We're in roles that could allow for remote work. While having a good local economy is nice, I'm quickly realizing that I don't have to physically be in San Francisco any more.

* My wife hasn't decided if she will return to work after taking maternity leave. I haven't decided if I will return to work after taking paternity leave. We do well, but we're not rich, so one of us needs to work.

* Neither of us has any family in the Bay Area. We're willing to move for a better life. We both speak French and English, and my wife speaks Portuguese, too.

* We've owned our current condo in San Francisco for a bit now, so we could either sell it or rent it out and do very well. We don't feel like SF real estate is squeezing us out by any means. If anything, our San Francisco real estate will probably be a means for our escape.

* Ideally we're looking for someplace that has low crime, good schools, doesn't feel like a rat race, some natural geographic beauty (we like taking hikes and walks), a government that works and makes us feel like we're getting value for our tax dollars, decent transportation options outside of cars, low pollution, and good weather. The last one is qualitative so I'll just say that we're willing to trade San Francisco's perpetual cool mist feel for a place that's hotter and/or colder but actually has real seasons.

So, where should we move to and why?






Do you want to stay in the US? Bay Area?

The south bay is more "family friendly" than SF is, as are some of the cities in both Marin county and the East bay. There are micro climates and there are great variations between city cultures.

That said, if you are intentional about how you want to raise your children, what do you intend? Self reliance? Well connected socially? Depth of understanding about the world? Self motivated?

Something we thought about alot when we had our children was what kind of values we wanted our children to share, what sort of things they would experience to help cement those values in practice, and give them tools for evaluating their impact (positive and negative) on the world around them. Its a lot of work but in our case it worked out well.

The thing about kids is that they don't know anything but what they have experienced so no matter where you go or how they are raised they will consider that normal. Which is a long way of saying they aren't going to come back later and say "Gee, these choices really ruined my life."


We're looking to leave the state of California, not relocate within it. Staying in the US is not a requirement.

We feel like we can be intentional about how we raise our kids regardless of where we are. Moving is as much about us, as it is about our future kids. That said, places with entrenched or legalized discrimination and human rights violations are off the table.


Dublin, Ireland?

"getting value for our tax dollars" ... that's NOT any eu country.

Self-employment tax in Poland is just 19%. With a US (remote) salary you're basically living like a king. On the downside, the language is not the easiest to learn I hear.

I might be biased being Swiss, albeit from the German speaking part, but the French part of Switzerland seems like perfect fit for your requirements. You both speak French, your kids will get high quality education for free and eventually access to two of the world leading Universities (no getting in debt to get an education, but that will hold for the most of Europe, too). There's lots of natural beauty, especially Lausanne is a wonderful city and Geneva is consistently ranked amongst the top liveable cities. Compared to France, which was also mentioned here and is definitely also a great place to raise children, it has lower crime rate and way higher salaries.

I lived in Switzerland (French part) for a little while. Beautiful country, so if you enjoy spending time outdoors it's a big plus. The only downsides of living there was the cost of living, and this may have just been my personal experience but I found it harder to make friends there then other places I've lived.

Nothing's ever a perfect fit, but based on your preferences I'd look at Boulder, Colorado.

I've got a friend who moved with his young children a couple years ago and seems to love it - should you want an introduction, email me.


You might like Vancouver. It is always ranked as one of the best cities to live in, and it definitely has the natural beauty you're looking for.

Plano, Texas. It is a great place to raise a family. Excellent schools. Diverse city. Affordable real estate. About 20 minutes north of Dallas. Low crime. Voted safest city in the U.S. twice. Has plenty of hiking and biking trails. Texas does get hot in the summer.

My fiance and I moved from the Bay Area to Asheville, North Carolina last year and could not be happier. The only checkmark missing is decent transportation outside of cars.

    * https://www.google.com/search?q=asheville+downtown&tbm=isch
    * https://www.google.com/search?q=asheville+autumn+leaves&tbm=isch

I just moved from Asheville to the bay area and wish I didn't :(

How's the crime?

Since you both speak French, Montreal could be an option.

You'll earn less, you won't have much for your tax dollars, and you'll need to get used to the weather.

However, it's safer than San Francisco, housing is cheaper, and seasons are very real.


I would recommend Colorado. Denver or Boulder. Both places are chill, have a tech industry. I would argue that they have better weather than SF. The geography is incredibly beautiful.

Anywhere in southern Sweden. Low crime, good schools, amazing scenery, a government that works, and great access to all of Europe.

And a horrible climate in winter. If you're used to California weather, I wouldn't move to Sweden. It's like -20 in winter (celcius), plus it gets dark around 4 if you're lucky.

Move to Spain. Probably the best place on earth life/quality wise. Easy to find a tech job (in e.g. Barcelona). Pay is lower of course.


I've lived and worked in both Spain and Sweden in both Winter and Summer, and hands down I prefer Sweden. I love both seasons in Sweden, and hate the Summer in Spain.

Personal preferences, I guess.


Apart from the weather, is there any other reason you would prefer Sweden over Spain?

There's every chance I have a better personal cultural fit with the Swedes, but that's very much a personal thing. In my experience English is more widely spoken in Sweden than in Spain, which also makes it easier for me. I think the economy in Sweden is stronger.

Salt Lake City. Yes it's kind of boring, but boring can be nice. Great school, breathtaking mountains, strong sense of community. A long running joke about the city is that it is impossible to get people to relocate there, and later it becomes impossible to get them to leave. Definitely not for everyone, but if not being able to buy liquor on Sunday does not upset you it may be worth a look.

If you can work remotely and can stomach the process of relocating then you can really choose anywhere. On my list are grand cayman, Lisbon, Tokyo, Seattle. Being from NYC, I don't know if I can recommend a small town.

I would second Denver or really anywhere in Colorado. My wife and I live in MN and we love it. The cold isn't so bad and there are plenty of opportunities. Look at Duluth in MN.

Victoria BC.

Beautiful, Low Crime, Easy Going, Close to Vancouver and Seattle, Smaller City. Canada! Awesome place to raise kids or retire.


You speak French? What are you doing living in the States? Go to France. Arguably one of the best countries in the world for social insurance and benefits.

It's on our list. My wife and I both enjoyed reading "Bringing Up Bebe". Any personal experiences on relocating and living there would be appreciated.

e-stonia would like you, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxwxPnbXf7I



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