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I ruined this subreddit. (self.GamerGhazi)

lifestyledFun King Spineless が 投稿

So I am leaving. I fucked it all up, ruined everything for all of you, and now gamergate has a big piece of ammo to justify everything they do and paint all of you as horrible people because of me.

I didn't intend for this at all. I didn't want any of this to happen. I thought what I was doing was a joke, all I wanted to do was point out something odd and laugh about it.

But I crossed a line. I can try and excuse it for hours but it won't matter. I can accuse everyone of not listening but I'm not listening to myself.

This is nobody's decision but my own. The other mods didn't force me out, and no that doesn't make them bad mods who support doxxing because only two or three of them were online when I decided to leave anyway and I didn't give any of them a chance to say anything.

So don't go after the other mods. They did nothing wrong and they are wonderful people. They're the best people I've ever met and I don't know what I'm going to do without them.

But I can't be here any more. Users don't feel like they can be here when I'm here. I look at twitter and see that all sorts of people think I'm a tyrant and garbage person. Every day seems to have at least one long, angry rant from me for no fucking reason. And I end up doing shit like I did earlier, resulting in everyone in this community having to bear the burden of my sins.

So I am leaving. I don't want to hurt any of you anymore, and I don't want anyone feeling they can't be part of this community because of me. You shouldn't have to be afraid of commenting here because you're worried what I'll do.

I don't know what I'm going to do. Ghazi is all I have. People laugh at that or think I'm exaggerating but it's true. This community is my heart and soul. This mod team and some of these users seem to be the only people that understand me.

But I have to leave. Because I gave the community I love a black eye and a shit reputation because I couldn't shut my brain off for a second and see what I was doing. I ruined it for all of you, made everything worse for everybody because I can't ever act and operate like a normal fucking person.

I'm sorry everyone. I really am. Please believe that if you believe nothing else I've said. Don't hate the rest of the mods. They're awesome people. I'm the one that fucked up. And I'm sorry.

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トップ新着論争中古い順Q&A

[–]4skinman 18ポイント19ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't know what I'm going to do. Ghazi is all I have. People laugh at that or think I'm exaggerating but it's true. This community is my heart and soul. This mod team and some of these users seem to be the only people that understand me.

  • Try disc golf. It's fun and social and very casual.

  • Look into volunteering opportunities. Libraries, the Humane Society, Red Cross, Parks departments are all in need of, and value, volunteers. You can check local bulletin boards for more.

  • Learn a new skill. Learn a programming language, or how to write good fiction, or how to do sand art, or anything else. Whatever you choose there will be online communities and local meetups where you can meet people and get questions answered.

  • Get big time into fitness. Couch 2 5k programs are very doable. Once you're somewhat comfortable running a 5k there are running clubs and races that are an absolute blast. I've never been a fast runner and I still enjoy them.

You only get one life and The GamerGate Controversy is not anyone's calling.

[–]justamblingon 23ポイント24ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't know what I'm going to do. Ghazi is all I have. People laugh at that or think I'm exaggerating but it's true. This community is my heart and soul. This mod team and some of these users seem to be the only people that understand me.

If this is true, you need to leave, even if you come back later. I like you, and 99% of your contributions, and I think you're a great member of the community, but this is incredibly unhealthy if true. As someone who has been in a similar place before: take a long break, and maybe talk to a therapist (if you are able to do so) about where this comes from.

I know unsolicited internet stranger advice can be odious, but like I said, I was in a similar place after my divorce when I felt really isolated and like only people in a couple specific forums really 'got' it, and taking a break/going outside/seeing a therapist/meeting new people was the best thing that I've ever done.

Best of luck.

[–]Bastendorf 17ポイント18ポイント  (0子コメント)

Find a hobby. Do something you love doing. Obsessing over GamerGate isn't healthy. Spending day after day on social media playing call out games isn't healthy. Find one of the things that makes you feel alive when you do it, and do that thing. Write a novel, draw a picture, build a go kart, make a Minecraft map, sculpt in clay, compose music, build a model car. Do it because you love the way it makes you feel, not because you can profit off it, or blog about it, or make friends with it. Top tier talent isn't required when you're doing something for you.

Everything I do, I do because it makes me feel euphoric. Creating things makes me feel alive, and above all else, it makes me happy.

[–]foxesforsale☠Skeleton Justice Warrior☠ 45ポイント46ポイント  (1子コメント)

Take a break, lifestyled. Yeah you fucked up, but you're owning it and apologising. Stepping down as a mod is a good step, but I think you need to try take a week without Ghazi, without reddit if possible, and let your mind take a break before you come back. And when you do come back, you'll be welcome. You're still a valuable member of our little community.

[–]crinoidgirl 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

I didn't see the actions in question, but I believe foxesforsale has the best advice.

Please come back afer a little break.

[–]diehtc0keAvid Candy Crush Player[M] 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

Dear community,

Please be diligent in reporting brigaders. Thanks.

--DC

[–]Extradaemon"We don't need 'PR' because we are the 'P'" 15ポイント16ポイント  (19子コメント)

I'm so confused, what happened?

[–]Stolles☾ Social Justice Werewolf ☽ 45ポイント46ポイント  (18子コメント)

From another users post here

A game Dev can out in support of gg but didn't use his (I think, they could have been a lady but I don't remember) real name, OP used the same investigating skills 4chan and the like use to gather personal information and made a huge post containing the devs real name, cv and stuff like that.

A bunch of ghazi peeps said that it was uncool and he was acting like gg.

An reddit admin stepped in and deleted the post as it was basically a doxx. Kia is celebrating because he was a mod not just a random user who wrote did this.

[–]Extradaemon"We don't need 'PR' because we are the 'P'" 18ポイント19ポイント  (8子コメント)

Thanks mate, big shame that happened.

[–]ClumpyReal games have chest-high walls 19ポイント20ポイント  (8子コメント)

Oh gee, self-policing and holding our side to the same standards we uphold for others, imagine that. It's possible, KiA!

[–]blobbybag 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

This is not a victory, nor is it ammo against GG.

[–]ClumpyReal games have chest-high walls 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

Nope—just an example of walking the walk, consistency rather than a "victory" or "defeat" in whatever sense those words would hold in this case. It wouldn't be a victory if a mod were allowed to stay for doxing or if people here didn't recognize it as inappropriate behavior.

[–]BeetlecatOneFlair to Middlin' 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

snark aside, I also see this as a positive from this experience.

[–]oizown 39ポイント40ポイント  (6子コメント)

If it is any consolation, GG painted all of you as horrible people way before this. The amount of vitriol is ridiculous on both sides, but for me personally (a KiA subscriber), I don't wish harm on anyone. There are plenty of KiA people who have done worse, who continue to do worse, and not give a shit. The fact that you apparently do makes you many notches higher in my book, so I just want you to know that while we might not agree on things, not all of us wish you harm or want to use your personal moments as tools for justifying arguments against everyone here, and I believe anyone who wants to do so can be considered guilty of worse than anything you may have done.

[–]Essar 14ポイント15ポイント  (4子コメント)

I think it's a useful lesson for both sides on how easy it is to begin viewing disagreeing individuals as 'the enemy', and how easy it is to hold them to completely different standards to those of someone on your side (and how you hold yourself to different standards of empathy and decency when interacting with them). No one should be blamed or punished for the sins of those they share an opinion with.

Checking ones' biases takes constant effort, and if you never question yourself then you're almost certainly wrong, so kudos to the OP for admitting their error. I also - on balance - agree more with KiA, but as someone who has posted on both subs occasionally (and in disagreement with stuff, whether here or there), it's important to realise there is variance of opinion on both, and I've had both civil and hostile responses on both.

[–]piwikiwi⚔Mary⚔ 5ポイント6ポイント  (3子コメント)

I think it's a useful lesson for both sides on how easy it is to begin viewing disagreeing individuals as 'the enemy', and how easy it is to hold them to completely different standards to those of someone on your side (and how you hold yourself to different standards of empathy and decency when interacting with them).

I couldn't agree more! The best thing I've learned from all of this is to try to be as empathetic as possible and to keep myself to my own moral standards.

[–]srhbutts 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

i think it's also important to speak up when you see people failing to treat others well, as well. i'm glad people spoke up here-- i mean no ill will to lifestyled, but temporarily stepping back and evaluating things is the right call.

[–]piwikiwi⚔Mary⚔ 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah, I'm a bit worried about lifestyled. We never got along all that well but considering the whole position they are in and how obsessed they got. It seems to me that this is not the only thing that is going on.

[–]Thy_blight 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

New to Reddit posting so bare with me.

I especially like your part about "the enemy."

We are all people and all make mistakes and all have varying views. I've been aboard the Gamergate train since September 7th (coincidentally my birthday) and have personally witnessed abuse on both ends of the spectrum. It often frustrates me so much the abuse that has come from "my side" When I genuinely do believe the whole "ethics in games journalism" diatribe is important. Moreso I very much hope that this instance can allow everyone to take a couple steps back and look at how we can further everything into a more positive space.

[–]swimnrow 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Agreed, as someone who agrees with KiA more than here. Anyone who is wishing harm on others or hounding someone nonstop is a giant douche.

[–]LordSepulchrave 30ポイント31ポイント  (4子コメント)

No-one wants you to leave.

I'm the person who criticized you the hardest, so let me come out now and say this: I never, ever had an issue with you personally. I disagreed with what you posted, but I did not hate you, or any other mods here, and I never wanted you to fuck off. I want you to stick around and carry on being the supportive, productive member of the community you are. You've made a bunch of awesome posts that I upvoted the hell out of, so please don't ever think this was some personal thing.

It sucks you're going through some rough shit, but there are people here who can support you if you reach out to them. If you ever need to vent, offload some shit or just want a general chat, PM me whenever you like. I still respect you and want to make sure you're ok.

Shit can get heated every now and then, but don't let that cut you off from people who want to look out for you.

[–]peterthefourth☭☭Cultural Marxist☭☭ 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

This reads as incredibly insincere in light of what you've previously said. For context, I've quoted what jumps out at me below.

If this is the attitude you're going to take, then I would suggest you step back from being a mod. You're clearly too invested, and cannot respond to criticism without histrionics. I did not say you should fuck off, I said I didn't agree with what you did, and don't like where it leaves Ghazi as a platform. If you're unable to respond to that without throwing this sort of tantrum, cartoonishly taking the piss out of me being uncomfortable with doxxing and digging up personal info, then yes, I don't think you should be a mod.

[–]Zironic 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

Both posts are consistent. My reading is that LordSepulchrave considers it appropriate for Lifestyled to step down as mod however still thinks that Lifestyled should remain part of the community in a non-mod capacity.

[–]LordSepulchrave 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Indeed. I want lifestyled to remain as part of the Ghazi community. However, the original post itself was roundly criticized, and we shouldn't be endorsing that sort of behaviour on Ghazi (IMO). It is possible to be both supportive of someone, and critical of specific things they do.

[–]LordSepulchrave 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

So criticizing someone's specific actions is the same as criticizing them as a person? Good to know. Next time I see someone engaging in what I believe to be problematic or destructive behaviour, I'll make sure to add that qualifier.

[–]OctavianXXV☭☭Cultural Marxist☭☭ 16ポイント17ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think the main-difference is that you actually know when you fucked up. No silly excuses. So my respect. And while i think you did indeed fuck up, leaving this sub might be a bit much. Learn from your mistake and be more vigilant about shit like this.

[–]blahblahwordvomitRed MS Paint Arrows 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think maybe taking a break isn't the worst idea.

I don't think you should consider yourself shunned forever and ever.

[–]NekryydremaG daednU 18ポイント19ポイント  (20子コメント)

Wow.

These are pretty bad times for this sub despite GG waning in influence (IMO, of course).

Yeah, I mean... I loved your posts but... Really, that was well over the line. I'm not trying to rattle your cage here, I'm sure it's been well rattled, but WHY would we even care WHO this person was if they didn't want to publicly declare it? Who gives a shit if one more dev from what is demonstrably a mostly bigoted and batshit tiny vocal minority of game devs decides to coddle GiggleGrunt?

I'm glad you realized how bad this was, but I have to wonder how things like this ever happened. I mean, the one positive out of this is that we consider this a bad mark on our community whereas this would be simply business as usual for GG and part of exposing "collusion" or... Something.

That isn't going to stop them from tearing Ghazi several new ones though. Ethucks and all that.

A lot of other things have happened here that have been real shitty, such as some real outrage culture-level childishness, but at least you're contrite. Still... I think I'm taking a long break from this place. I've actually been working on GG: The Very Poorly Animated Series but I never can bring myself to upload any of it - I don't really feel like it would be well-received anyway.

Live and learn. I know I sound disappointed, but I know harm wasn't your intention. Don't beat yourself up any more than you already have. Give it some time, reflect, reboot, and renew.

[–]YinEmissaryStrange and unusual 12ポイント13ポイント  (12子コメント)

These are pretty bad times for this sub despite GG waning in influence (IMO, of course).

I actually believe that it's because GG is waning in influence. That was the only thing that united us, so when the outrage was directed elsewhere, people got confused due to fatigue and started lashing out at other targets. Compared to several other users on this sub, lifestyled apologizing is a huge step up.

Gotta say, lifestyled was a major pillar of the community, so without him, I've lost a lot of motivation to keep participating here. But it's probably a good idea to take a break anyway.

I've actually been working on GG: The Very Poorly Animated Series

I'm intrigued. Could you PM me a plot synopsis?

[–]Zironic 7ポイント8ポイント  (11子コメント)

I think that anyone that only participated in this sub because it gave them a legitimate reason to lash out at people should never be considered a part of the community. Being a hateful asshole is still a terrible thing even if the targets are 'legitimate'. John Cleeses video about it is pretty great.

[–]YinEmissaryStrange and unusual 5ポイント6ポイント  (8子コメント)

That was something that was bothering me ever since the Brianna Wu controversy and continuing on into the recent Black Lives Matter kerfuffle. A lot of people were only interested in the mockery and never cared about the politics, so when they were asked to self-reflect, they did their best to evade such an action and lash out against their critics. This only got worse ever since we started moving away from GG. It doesn't help that many such users were under the impression that posting in this sub was some great moral crusade.

Even lesser things like the tendency of users to ignore the article so they could mock the comments irk me because it shows people are less interested in constructive topics as opposed to destructive ones.

[–]LordSepulchrave 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

I really think we need to move this sub away from being a GG specific sub into a more general progressive gaming/geekdom sub. Focusing on the KiA and GG stuff is where Ghazi has cocked up the most recently, and the best debates and threads have been the more open-ended 'progressive issues in gaming/geekdom' topics. There's a general lack of subreddits for talking about feminism, sexism and racism in games generally, and Ghazi could become a good centreplace for those discussions if we shift the focus away from KiA.

With GG dying a slow death, trying to keep the focus on it leads to things like this, where minor issues are turned into clusterfucks.

[–]TheRealSJKSocial Justice Kangaroo 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I feel like that begs the question on if we really need to convert a subreddit with an existing (albeit less and less relevant) purpose into a general social justice sub, or if the glut of "off-topic" but important threads warrants a new subreddit focusing on it. For example, I'm pretty sure that /r/SocialJusticeGaming is still ripe for the taking. Not to mention that you can't rename a subreddit and Ghazi already has a secured niche.

Focusing on the KiA and GG stuff is where Ghazi has cocked up the most recently.

Most recently as in this very event, maybe, but I feel like the biggest showers of grumbling and kerfluffleness come from either a notable figure in the community giving criticism of the site and/or the moderators madly scrambling to save face and make it really obvious that the cause of those complaints will never happen again and getting rid of anyone that seems to be one of those causes. The actual talk about Gamergate seems to cause relatively few issues.

[–]LordSepulchrave 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think the benefit of Ghazi is that there's already a community here that wants to talk about these issues, and has already started doing so. Starting up a new sub with a new name is always hard work, as you have to start all over again. Since Ghazi started, other subs have tried to get off the ground on this topic, and not really gone anywhere. We wouldn't have to rename Ghazi to run it as a place for general gaming talk.

My problem is that the more GG continues to die out (And its really not doing anywhere near as well as it once did), the more issues like this can occur in trying to cover what little activity remains. There comes a point where its genuinely better to stop giving the trolls attention, and I think that point has approached with KiA. Obviously major newsworthy stuff can and should still be commented on, but I really don't think there's much point in covering the daily GG shenanigans.

[–]Zironic 1ポイント2ポイント  (4子コメント)

I think lazy storytelling is to blame for a lot of this behaviour. The common narrative of 'The ends justify the means' and that the Hero can solve any problem by just finding the bad guy and beating him unconscious reinforces the idea that it's not about making things better, it's about finding the enemy. Our society as a whole is broadcasting the message that anything is okay as long as you're fighting for justice and that's what most of the hateful extremists think they are doing, being champions of justice.

[–]LordSepulchrave 5ポイント6ポイント  (3子コメント)

The thing is, Ghazi should never have been in this position anyway. The sub was created to point and laugh at GG/KiA when it was gaining influence and followers. Most of the people here are pretty progressive politically, but the sub was never about rousing armies of online hacktivists to go out and fight GG, it was just a place to laugh at their silly logic.

If people here are at the point where they think they're in some sort of online crusade, then I think that means we really need to re-evaluate where we're at as a community, and focus on what it is we want in the future.

[–]Zironic 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Honestly, what first drew me to this sub was that it was rather enjoyable to laugh at the things that Ghazi was up to. Where KIA was all sorts of awful, Ghazi used to be a twisted mirror of KIA with similar levels of awful while pretending to be great and I found that to be so much more amusing to read.
I think that Ghazi has become a much better place over the past year, not worse. The only reason that there's the impression it's become worse is because without the approved enemy of GG to provide context, it's become obvious that many of the behaviours engaged in within the sub have actually been awful and it seems to me that most participants in this sub are realizing this and are properly calling out bad behaviour that they wouldn't have called out a year ago. While this means there's less things for me to laugh at, it also means there is more genuinely interesting content as well.

[–]YinEmissaryStrange and unusual 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yep. Best example of this mentality that I recall was when someone compared Black Lives Matter to GG.

[–]piwikiwi⚔Mary⚔ 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

never be considered a part of the community

That is dangerously close to the true Scotsman fallacy. We need to acknowledge this problem, not ignore it or deflect this criticism.

[–]Zironic 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

If Ghazi truly wants to properly deal with this problem, then Ghazi needs to implement a zero-tolerance policy on personal attacks and instead focus on broader social topics. That would then force those who are only here to viciously attack 'approved' targets to move somewhere else. This shouldn't be too hard as most submissions already are of that nature, Ghazi just needs to take the final step.

[–]piwikiwi⚔Mary⚔ 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm glad you realized how bad this was, but I have to wonder how things like this ever happened.

Self righteousness and a lack of self-reflection. It surprises me that it didn't happen earlier

[–]TheRealSJKSocial Justice Kangaroo 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's more obvious in the light of this event, but looking at his submitted post history shows quite a bit of delving into Sargon and 8chan users' histories and backgrounds.

So it's not like this is new or anything - he just took it too far this time.

[–]ThehoennhippoCartoon watching virgin-ass motherfucker 7ポイント8ポイント  (8子コメント)

What happened? Haven't been active on Ghazi for a couple of days.

[–]ohhhhhhfuck 12ポイント13ポイント  (7子コメント)

A game Dev can out in support of gg but didn't use his (I think, they could have been a lady but I don't remember) real name, OP used the same investigating skills 4chan and the like use to gather personal information and made a huge post containing the devs real name, cv and stuff like that.

A bunch of ghazi peeps said that it was uncool and he was acting like gg.

An reddit admin stepped in and deleted the post as it was basically a doxx. Kia is celebrating because he was a mod not just a random user who wrote did this.

[–]balanceofpower☭☭Cultural Groucho Marxist☭☭ 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

Don't people have a right to know if a developer supports GG or not?

I don't want to support a developer that supports GG anymore than a business who supports the Westboro Baptist Church. That's not doxxing as far as I'm concerned. If lifestyled were an investigative journalist they would be doing their job. The only exception to this if they made public information about where they live or do business.

But otherwise, if a developer were stupid enough to come out in support of GG, despite the years worth of evidence that outs them as a disgusting organization they are, then they deserve to be outed. Not harassed, not vilified, but people deserve to know who they are giving money to.

[–]ohhhhhhfuck 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

I do see what you mean but the Dev in question had the company they work for as part of their twitter bio so you (if you wanted to) you could avoid them from no more information than is present in their twitter. OP dug up as much information about the Dev as he could including CVs and old blog posts which you don't need if you are just going to avoid the guy and his studio.

[–]balanceofpower☭☭Cultural Groucho Marxist☭☭ 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah that is a bit much. Eek! Thanks for letting me know.

[–]ArchchancellorSocial Justice Wario 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

Based on the SRD thread, didn't OP delete the thread? In the end, the thread got deleted, but I don't think admins were a part of it.

[–]ohhhhhhfuck 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

There were two threads, the admins deleted the first one and the link to the archive that was in the KiA thread.

OP then posted it again in a second thread with the names removed and was then called out by ghazi peeps so OP deleted it and then posted this one.

Edit: in the first link of the SRD post he says (right at the bottom)

The admins deleted my other post, stating it contains too much Personal Information because full names were visible.

[–]ArchchancellorSocial Justice Wario 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ah, I'm caught up, now. Thanks.

[–]ThehoennhippoCartoon watching virgin-ass motherfucker 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thanks for the info.

[–]GreyWardenThorga 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I have no idea what's going on here and this seems like a bunch of overwrought melodrama.

Lifestyled, I don't know what went down and I don't know if asking you to stay is the right course of action or not, but I am asking you to take care of yourself. You seem really upset and that's upsetting to me. Please don't let this mistake, whatever it was, eat you up.

[–]Enleat+1;dr 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

No one here is angry at you Lifestyled. Everyone on this subreddit appreciates and loves you dearly for everything you have done, and you have not ruined anything. We all makes mistakes, and you don't have to beat yourself up so much over this

We all love you, come back <3

[–]rarebittBackfire is one hell of an effect 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hey, lifestyled I just want to say that you have done a lot to make this sub reddit a way better place. In fact I dont know how well we are going to fare without you.

Take care, self flagellation and exile aren't productive or fulfilling.

When you a have some rest and time to think it over, know that there will always be a place for you in this community.

[–]GusTurbo 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Do you like video games? If so, play some games. I've been playing a lot of Splatoon lately, which is great as a mental distraction.

[–]PoliteTimesplitter 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I recommend you take some time for self-care. Don't let yourself burn out. You do so much for this place, and even if you slip up now and then, this place is so much better for having you around. Take a break, come up for air, and put yourself first for as long as you need <3

[–]MissepusHorkheimer's Cat 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

The subreddit is fine. The decision of whether or not you should leave as a mod should be up to the other mods and you, in conversation. Don't believe you can single-handedly ruin it for everybody here. You have done more good than bad, and while KiA may rejoice, they aren't a measure for ethics I want to hold anybody up against.

Also, it may be good for all of us to remember that we aren't perfect, even if we may feel a bit morally superior from time to time.

When that is said: you have retired from Ghazi before, to deal with the stuff you experienced while working as a mod here. It might be a good idea to do so again, to regain some perspective. So go for a walk, make some pancakes, go to the library and find a book with pictures of cats, paint a really bad picture, repair your bike. Or the neighbour's bike. Water some flowers. When all of that is done, clean your room from ceiling to floor. Cleaning is always the right thing to do.

Then look around at your clean room that smells of pancakes, and think... "perhaps I should go say hello to my friends in 'ghazi. They may be talking about something else by now."

And the chance is very high that we will.

hugs for you, Lifestyled.

[–]IndifferentOstrichI WILL NOT STOP UNTIL ALL GAMES ARE ABOUT PMS 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

You actually don't have to leave<3

[–]Stolles☾ Social Justice Werewolf ☽ 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

The difference here is you acknowledged your mistake and owned up to it, you don't have to leave. I don't think anyone here wants you to leave. A lot of people will turn a blind eye or try to argue till they're blue in the face to defend themselves, you realized what you did which is more than I can say for a lot of people out there.

Gators might try to use this against you but just know that you did all you could, gators will bring up issues from the dead to argue their points, they're not looking for anything other than spite, hate and to be right all the time. There is no convincing those kinds of people so please don't let that affect you.

[–]EthicsInSTFU 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

A thousand times this.

[–]JF_Manatane 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Take a break, get away from this mess. When you see how much fucked up are things over the web for a while now, you can be sure that even the person with the best intents would take a toll of some sort. Come back in a few days but don't left the ghazi community! You did a mistake, yes, but you'rer not branded for that by us. But if you go for awhile, please come back.

[–]MrTomFTWZoe Quinn Ate My Hamster 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

What now with the who now?

[–]ochayethenooooooo 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

A post that was arguably doxxing, but moreover it was a post that's exactly the kind of "digging" that gamergate do. Personally, I found it distasteful apparently a lot of other sub users were a lot more vehement about their distaste.

[–]ZennistradSargon-Senpai Noticed Me! 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Did I miss something?

[–]tee96Social Justice Padawan on holiday 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm happy that you're apologising and owning up to your mistakes. But I am also sad that you're leaving. Ghazi won't be the same without you lifestyled.

[–]GGDisposableProven Leftoid 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Don't worry about it. We all fuck up from time to time. The fact that you're willing to listen and acknowledge your mistakes says more about you than your mistakes ever will. GamerGate will exploit this just like they're exploiting the AM hacks right now because that's what they do. You don't hurt the case against them because they're being judged for what they do, not what you do.

Maybe take a break for a while and clear your head. Don't make a decision on leaving and until you've had time to reflect on all of this. Time changes the way you feel about things. :)

[–]KarateSquidsGators, Please 1ポイント2ポイント  (5子コメント)

squidhugs

(edit - they're nicer than they sound, and only there if you want them!)

[–]GGDisposableProven Leftoid 2ポイント3ポイント  (3子コメント)

Do they turn into kid hugs? And then back into squid hugs again?

[–]sionava☥Social Justice Avatar☥ 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's a squid hug! It's a kid hug! It's a squi--

ARGHGETITOUT >.<

[–]tee96Social Justice Padawan on holiday -3ポイント-2ポイント  (0子コメント)

IT. WILL. NEVER. LEAVE.

[–]KarateSquidsGators, Please -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

splats you

slinks away really fast

:)

[–]casersatzBASED SHILL -4ポイント-3ポイント  (0子コメント)

My girlfriend is a squid. I can vouch for their amazing healing powers!

[–]ccdc1138Shrilly Demanded Respects 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't wanna see you leave as you were one of my favorites but, at the same time, if this sub has been consuming your life maybe it would benefit you to take a leave at least. I will say that we shouldn't give more than a fuck or two about KiA criticisms of us because any they give are just hypocritical disingenuous gotcha attempts...like every time. Like, a year later and they still can't help themselves from brigading this thread. Internal criticism matters but I don't think anyone here is screaming for your head or wants you to leave, even those that are most critical of your action.

[–]CromulexPolitics do not matter. Only Ethics. 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't understand fully what happened but we all make mistakes. Take a break and hopefully see you back around here too. You generate the bulk of oc around here.

[–]A_Fhaol_BhigThreats go in, Doxxes come out. You can't explain that! -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

Did you apologize? Yes.

Did you admit you did wrong? Yes.

So take some time off and come back. Having heard what happened I don't agree with it. But you apologized for it.

Maybe there are some people who want your head but...

Life, you know me. Don't leave, just take a break for a week. I'm still not done trying to get you get an Xbox One!

The best thing anyone can do is own up to past mistakes and commit themselves to improving their own selves to become a better person.

You owned up to your mistake. Remember when GG accepted the "apology" of the guy who pretended to dox himself? If they want to make a big deal out of it, they are fucking hypocrites. As usual.

As for anyone else. You know you were wrong, you have apologized. There's nothing else to say.

[–]The_69_EyesYore honors, case closed 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Awww Mod-bro! I never saw what you did so won't comment, but I don't think you have to leave, your input and insight here is fantastic!

I don't want you to leave, but if you feel you must then I'll bid you a fond farewell!

[–]GoldPilot☾ Social Justice Arbiter☽ 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I hope you return, Lifestyled.

I think it's been adequately said that we clearly disapprove of your actions, but you seem like a decent guy, and I'm sure you learned from your mistake.

He who fights monsters and all that jazz.

I'm not a fan of what you did, but I do enjoy a good comeback.

[–]jean-sol_partre 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

If what you did really was doxxing, I don't think Ghazelles are the one you ought to apologize to.

You didn't ruin this sub. People here won't hate you. Gamergate is slowly waning into irrelevancy which it should never have left. They were already painting Ghazi as a circle of hell anyway and most of us don't care.

However I think that taking a break -not a final departure, just less emotional investment- is a good idea. It is not healthy at all to focus most of your life on this sorry piece of internet drama, especially when you're not one of the primary targets of harassment (that is, the LWs). Please do not forget that this very vocal mob consists of only a few hundreds cowards out of seven billion people.

[–]casersatzBASED SHILL -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm sorry to see you go. I have always respected your work here.

Next "Gamergate" (and ugh, there will be one...) we'll all be able to start fresh, having learned from our experiences here on how we can all be the best allies possible. I hope you're a part of it when that time comes.

[–]garbagefiredotcom 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

xoxoxoxoxoxo everyone fucks up man take it easy.

but definitely definitely definitely also find another hobby or community or something maybe IRL.

too much of this shit just eats you up, we're just amateurs who have a hobby of amateurishly studding borderline criminal mob behaviour; it's not a hobby that makes anyone a better person.

well.. maybe a little bit is ok, but it is like starring lovingly into the abyss; it's pretty weird.

We really do find the very worst pieces of shit and then immerse ourselves in what they do as though their shitty culture is everywhere. it messes anyone up.

[–]suberb_lobsterNarrative Narrative Narrative Narrative Narrative Narrative -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

lifestyled, I think you've done a fine job as a mod thus far. I've read your occasional posts about weird goings on in GG their attempts to mislead supporters. Exposing blatant lies and fraud is good. But this time you went digging too deep and came up with too much and at the same time too little. The info was sketchy, you posted too much data and the whole thing came off as cyberstalking. Even if this is a case of one guy pretending to be three separate devs, only the gullible are going to be impressed by some no-accounts supporting GG anyway. It doesn't matter. You should have consulted the other mods before putting that post up. They would have probably advised you not to do it.

[–]Haz901"I'm not a conspiracy nut, it's Occam's razor" -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

You fuck up, you get told off, you learn and when you think you've learnt it all, you fuck up again. That's the perpetual circle of life.

Hell, look at me, telling people own their fuckups and learn from them, I'm usually the one fucking up. I've sworn myself never to speak to certain people again, because I fucked up so bad. I'd never bother them again. But then, a week, two weeks a month or two years later even, they reached out to me.

Sometimes, no matter how much you think you've fucked up, how much you think other people hate you, everything can be normal again, as long as you remember to learn from your fuckups. And remember, everyone else is human as well, on a long enough timeline, the probability of anyone fucking up becomes one.

[–]ochayethenooooooo -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

As someone who disapproved of the original post; the reaction to it is yet another instance that shows how the refrain of "both sides are just as bad" is incredibly hollow.

The disapproval from "anti-gg" has been extreme and the perpetrator has acknowledged that it was wrong. It reminds me of the issue with the gamergater who was feeling harassed and upset and when Gamerghazi found out they embargoed all mention of him on the sub. Or when a particularly horrible KiA mod attempted suicide and gamerghazi sent a huge amount of positive wishes.

In comparison, gamergate started in chat logs where participants openly hoped someone would commit suicide, they openly try to out transgender people, and they've filled ED with horribleness about their targets, and when they accuse each other of being psychopaths who literally shit their pants.

It makes me feel kind of warm inside that people can still handle online fights without descending into the worst of humanity.

It's like when Zak and Butts fight on twitter and nobody gets accused of being a paedophile or beating their girlfriend.

[–]mcadamsliterally an actual alligator 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

dawg its cool seriously

[–]mo60000Canadian Ghazelle 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Take a break dude.Do not focus on this subreddit constantly.What you did was bad especially with the first thread on that developer eventhough the second one was also bad,but it's not the end of the world.Do not care what GG thinks about you because they are irrelevant outside of the internet

[–]ShillMaster9000UNAFFILIATED THIRD PARTIES 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm gonna add my voice to all the people saying you should take a break and then come back again when you're ready. We're all gonna fuck up one day, the only thing we can do is to owe up to it, try to fix it best we can, apologize and do better in the future. Don't beat yourself up about it.

now gamergate has a big piece of ammo to justify everything they do and paint all of you as horrible people

It's not like GG has ever taken an honest look at our community anyways. No matter what we do, good or bad, they're always going to paint us as evil, as experience shows. We should be good for goodness' sake, not for GGs sake. And while we're by no means perfect, we probably try harder than most communities, especially on reddit. That's all we can do, really, and it's the least we should do and for what it's worth, I think you've done good for our community, recent fuckup or not.

I hope you find something fulfilling to do (may I recommend video games), and when you're feeling up for it, welcome back.

[–]Angel_FeatherEthics! Wait, no, Bitcoin! SJWs? 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Okay, I don't really know what happened outside of the brief synopsis located in the comments here, but... Apparently, you made a mistake. You recognize that. Which is good! All we can try to do in the future is do better.

I'd rather you not leave. I rather like you, honestly, as a mod and a fellow person here in this crazy sub.

[–]shadow_runner2k4ILLUMINATI △ SHILL 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

As others have said fighting GG is not something you want to make central to who you are, it is a toxic battle that can leave scars which are not easy to recover from ( there's a quote by Nietzsche which describes fighting monsters in general that is applicable here). It seems clear that it has taken its toll on you and that you need to take care of yourself and possibly consider seeking out a reputable mental health professional ( I'm not making accusations, but if your hurting mentally they really can help). Other then that, you've apologized, now learn from your mistake and don't do it again and that's really (IMO at least) all that can be done.

Edit: Here is the quote I was referencing:

Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

-Beyond Good and Evil, Aphorism 146, Nietzsche

[–]TaylorS1986☭☭Cultural Marxist☭☭ 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

We all have to be careful not to become what we hate, and I know from personal experience, myself, how hard that can be.

[hug]

[–]VorpalEskimo+2 against bigotry 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

No matter what, stay safe and take care of yourself.

That said, I don't feel like you have to leave for good or anything. Take a break if you feel you must, but I've rather enjoyed your posts. Aside from this incident, you've done great work.

[–]TellahTruth 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

This thread is a complete mess of "two sides" nonsense, but, regardless, this does seem like a wise thing to do, /u/lifestyled/. It's always concerning when something like this becomes such a big part of someone, because ultimately, this can't define us.

We stand against the GamerGate hate group because it is out to hurt people and hinder the good things we and others are doing in gaming, but ultimately, such misguided people will always be out there. That's why I appreciate that the sub has been trying to turn more toward larger issues and encouraging support for the good efforts and people in gaming.

I wish you well, and I appreciate the work you've done with the sub. I'm glad you recognize the mistake you made, as it concerned me, as well, and I hope you will do better in the future. This is a prudent decision to give up authority. Though, as the imperfect individual you are, you are always free to contact me if you need.

I know how the stress of all this can twist people, and getting away from it for a while will probably be for the best.

[–]SRSthrowaway524Kotaku shill check= $221 a month -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wait what? I, like most people, have no idea what this is in reference to. Either way, people make mistakes and you can always take time off when your mind is in a better place.

[–]socialjusticepriestAgent No-Reply -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Take a break, but please don't leave. You are someone I will always stop to read if I see a post by you. You're clever and funny, but you're also someone who works to improve yourself constantly. Even if what you did wasn't right, it doesn't mean that we don't still care about you or want you to go.

[–]sionava☥Social Justice Avatar☥ -3ポイント-2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Don't crucify yourself, lifestyled. People make mistakes, and the good ones recognise it when it happens and try to do something about it. I can fully understand and respect someone who's in a moderator position like yourself wanting to step down, but you don't have to go into exile or anything. :)

Take a breather. It'll be ok.

[–]EthicsInSTFU -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

Take a break and come back

<3

[–]Model_OmegaCANADA! FUCK YEAH! -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Buddy you may have screwed up, but you did what almost nobody on the internet that screwed up did, admitted you did something wrong, apologized, and made up for it.

I can understand if you want to take a leave, but don't feel like you are ever unwelcome.

[–]KestrelR -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think you just need some down time. Go play some games. Go enjoy your life offline for a bit. This past year has been hell for all of us and you see the worst of it as a mod. I really hope you'll come back. Until then. :-)

[–]WizeOaldOwlAsexual White Knight 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Certainly what happened was a mistake and exactly the kind of thing we're supposed to be against, but that doesn't mean you can't be forgiven. Take some time off, definitely cool off a bit, and then come to a decision. If you ultimately decide it's best for you to stay away, then I'll thank you now for the good work you have done. If you decide to come back, though I'll likely be keeping an eye open for a bit, I'd be glad to have you back. It's your decision.

[–]observer_decembergamerkin trigger-er 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I know people are saying you should take a break from Ghazi "for a little bit", but considering what you've said here about this place being one of the few things you have, I'd recommend getting off reddit for a number of months, perhaps a year. GG is almost completely irrelevant now; all they've done for months is circlejerk to themselves. You fucked up big time dude, and honestly, I've lost a little respect for you. You were one of my favorite mods. But do what I did when I got obsessed with GG and depressed over it: get off reddit for a long while, and find some other things you enjoy that you can spend time doing. GG isn't a meteor hurling towards Earth: you can ignore it for a few months in order to get some peace of mind, or to build bridges in your life. As I previously stated, it worked wonders for me, and I'd recommend you do the same.

[–]suchsmartveryiqℒℯ ℰthical ℛℯdditℴr 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Can I become mod?

[–]jakezorzhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkaozXsKrcs -4ポイント-3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I have no idea what happened, but I think you do a great job as a mod and you always come off as a pleasant person, FWIW.

[–]_rhetz_Sarcastic Jeff Winger -3ポイント-2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Whoa... I leave for a day, and this happens?

It sounds like what you did was pretty bad, but you can see that, at least. You made a mistake, and you know what the mistake was, and it seems like you know why you made the mistake, so I don't think you're likely to make it again. You're one of my favorite users, and I don't think ghazi would be the same without you.

Like others have said, you should take a break from ghazi/reddit/anything involving gamergate for a few weeks and let your mind focus on better things. When you came back, I'm sure you'll be welcomed with open arms.

[–]koronicusSocial Justice Platypus -4ポイント-3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't think it's fair to beat yourself up over this. It's not your fault that there are people who will jump at any opportunity to discredit anyone who criticizes them. Someone was misleading GG, and you tried to point that out. I never saw the first thread, but the second one seemed entirely reasonable. The subreddit definitely isn't ruined, and you're fine in my book. Good people, even.

[–]Fopenplop -3ポイント-2ポイント  (0子コメント)

idk what you did but i'm pretty sure you're an at least decent person.

Ghazi is all I have. People laugh at that or think I'm exaggerating but it's true.

I obviously don't know your life, but I'm glad to see you go, because this stupid internet war takes a toll on people, and breaking away will probably be better for everyone.

Edit: Oh. You were referring to that post. Yeah take a break guy. A long one. Phantom Pain is coming out soon, maybe get into that.