上位 200 件のコメント表示する 500

[–]Just1morefix 681ポイント682ポイント  (82子コメント)

Like a button buried in a dense fur coat.

[–]Beast_and_the_harlot 338ポイント339ポイント  (44子コメント)

Oh god. Bad memories. A few years ago, we had a family reunion, and I overheard my uncle talking to my dad about how his blood pressure pills have given him erectile dysfunction. His exact words were "it's like I have a second belly button.". I can never get that image out of my head.

[–]henry_blackie 137ポイント138ポイント  (37子コメント)

Guess he's not a shower.

[–]splanktor 619ポイント620ポイント  (26子コメント)

Nah hes actually a bathtub

[–]daimposter 92ポイント93ポイント  (13子コメント)

I read shower as shower...but did you just just read read as read or read?

[–]whomad1215 60ポイント61ポイント  (6子コメント)

Read rhymes with lead just like read rhymes with lead, but read doesn't rhyme with lead and read doesn't rhyme with lead.

[–]daimposter 15ポイント16ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fuck you for making my head hurt

[–]cafecoder 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

i think you got it all reverse !

[–]thisguy883 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Man. I not think right after read lead read lead

[–]daimposter 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I did not read lead like I read lead but I did read it like you read lead.

[–]kalitarios 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

FFFFFF UUUUUUUUUUU

[–]vursah 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

No more, please, it's too early.

[–]Demoidiocracy 14ポイント15ポイント  (3子コメント)

Ah, the ol' Reddit showeroo!

[–]foxzorz 35ポイント36ポイント  (1子コメント)

Hold my second belly button, I'm going in!

[–]Jagd3 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

Abandon hope all ye who enter here

I went down this rabbit hole once. It took me 3 days to get out and I never did find the end

[–]imalosernofriends 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm not a shower OR a grower! There's no way I can get caught for possession. We're talking about weiners right?

[–]jleek9 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

Innie or outie?

[–]quantumvegetable 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Asking the important questions.

[–]tunabomber 96ポイント97ポイント  (20子コメント)

In highschool, we would refer to the female version of this as an "Easter Basket". You know as a kid once you have eaten all the candy and all that is left is that fake cellophane grass in the basket but you rummage through it trying to find one last jelly bean or chocolate egg? "Did you finger blast Lauren last night?" "Yep, but it was a real Easter basket down there."

[–]sonofaresiii 230ポイント231ポイント  (12子コメント)

That sounds like something you and your buddies sat around thinking about as a funny way to describe something you've had very little experience with.

[–]spacechickens 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

In that case what's a "tuna bomber"?

[–]tunabomber 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

After three years I still haven't decided.

[–]ArtigianoDelCorpo 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

More like a ding than a dong

[–]ryanmcstylin 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

man back to back sunny references from two different episodes. I am impressed.

[–]That-nz-guy 1792ポイント1793ポイント  (164子コメント)

"Are you having a boy, or an abortion?"

[–]petrichorE6 604ポイント605ポイント  (111子コメント)

My child identifies as an attack helicopter, you insensitive prick.

[–]Meecht 244ポイント245ポイント  (39子コメント)

Lucky you. My child identifies as a tri-gender pyrofox.

[–]bed-stain 260ポイント261ポイント  (29子コメント)

So your child identifies as an eevee leaning more towards flareon?

[–]tr3v1n 66ポイント67ポイント  (23子コメント)

I know this is going to be rough, but eevee has more than three evolutions now. It is up to a whopping eight.

[–]Tresmil 2ポイント3ポイント  (8子コメント)

Eight?!

[–]tr3v1n 2ポイント3ポイント  (7子コメント)

Second gen added psychic and dark evolutions. Fourth gen added ice and grass. Sixth gen added fairy.

[–]Tresmil 6ポイント7ポイント  (5子コメント)

Holy shit. Did that Mikey kid get more brothers to accommodate the extra options?

[–]Neospector 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

I think the game does it through stones and traits now. Flareon uses a fire stone, Vaporeon uses a water stone, Jolteon uses a thunder stone. Glaceon (ice type) you go to a certain location and pressed "A" on an icey rock, and Leafeon (grass type) uses a mossy rock. Espeon and Umbreon (psychic and dark, respectively) work by raising your friendship to the max and gaining a level in the daytime or nighttime, respectively (although I could be wrong because Bulbapedia says it changed in gen IV). Sylveon (fairy type) evolves when leveled up with a Fairy-type move and at least two Affection hearts in Pokémon-Amie (as far as what this means, I don't know, haven't tried out X or Y yet myself).

[–]EndlersaurusRex 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Pokemon Amie is a little touch-screen based game where you can pet, feed, and play with your Pokemon. Getting 2 hearts on it is way quicker than getting max happiness.

[–]wiiya 75ポイント76ポイント  (0子コメント)

evolution fluidity. Sometimes it's more a Jolteon, sometimes it's more an Umbreon.

[–]the_fathead44 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

My child can be anything it wants to be, as long as it's exactly the same as something else!

[–]That-nz-guy 34ポイント35ポイント  (51子コメント)

Is this a reference to something I have forgotten, or are you genuinely calling me an insensitive prick and that your child is an apache

[–]petrichorE6 18ポイント19ポイント  (1子コメント)

yea its a running flying joke

cause you know, apaches.. and also cause the joke flew over you..

[–]Knappsterbot 8ポイント9ポイント  (3子コメント)

Hahaha what a new and hilarious joke I've never heard before

[–]tanuki_chau 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I thought the current nomenclature was shitlord not prick. Followed by screaming hysterically that you being 'literally triggered' or some such

[–]Otis_Redwood 930ポイント931ポイント  (35子コメント)

YOU HAVE RAPE CENTERS?!

I'll bring my raping shoes!

[–]squarepush3r 64ポイント65ポイント  (18子コメント)

that movie ages well

[–]Tdland 83ポイント84ポイント  (17子コメント)

It came out 3 years ago...?

[–]john2kxx 31ポイント32ポイント  (4子コメント)

We were doing a lot of stupid shit 3 years ago.

[–]Captain_Excellent 51ポイント52ポイント  (1子コメント)

Like OP's mom.

I mean, we're still doing her, but we were doing her 3 years ago too.

[–]Tdland 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

We still are doesn't change the fact that this movie isn't old at all and referring to it as aging just doesn't make sense.

[–]gocks 3506ポイント3507ポイント  (99子コメント)

http://i.imgur.com/PoPd7.jpg

Whoa, thanks for the gold.

Yes, this movie is profound on so many levels.

Too bad Freddy Mercury biopic with Sasha was canceled.

[–]iDemonix 720ポイント721ポイント  (60子コメント)

Pretty much the only scene in the movie worth remembering, seemed like the entire film was building up to that quote.

[–]Bilibond 194ポイント195ポイント  (12子コメント)

Really? I enjoyed the movie for the most part. There's the "HIV Aladeen" part which was funny Then there's the helicopter scene which I thought was hilarious. I guess it's just personal taste.

edit: fixed a typo

[–]GitEmSteveDave 93ポイント94ポイント  (3子コメント)

The scenes with him and Nadal where they kind of riff were hilarious.

Nadal: Why do you have Vita Coco water? General Aladeen: Because it has as much potassium as three bananas. Nadal: The line is still too heavy. Is there anything else in your pockets that could be weighing you down? Nadal: Oh, you kidding. So then why did you bring three bananas? General Aladeen: Because I don't trust the advertising. I'm naturally suspicious.

[–]ab__ 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

FYI, put two spaces after at the end of a line to create a new line (or line break)

[–]mroosa 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Its one of those movies with memorable scenes, but not necessarily a good cohesive movie.

[–]Fucktoyproblems 265ポイント266ポイント  (27子コメント)

Like the original "The Dictator" movie.

[–]DarkIuna 90ポイント91ポイント  (0子コメント)

Nice, never saw the analogy

[–]Bart_Dart 79ポイント80ポイント  (4子コメント)

I like all of the Chaplin movie...

EDIT: What's not to like???

[–]Fucktoyproblems 30ポイント31ポイント  (2子コメント)

They're all good. But The Great Dictator has a special place in my heart.

[–]Pennypacking 24ポイント25ポイント  (1子コメント)

I think he meant the entire movie, The Great Dictator, since he was responding to a comment suggesting the entire Chaplin version was also just a build up to the one quote. I could be wrong though.

[–]Fucktoyproblems 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

The whole movie was good but the speech made it great

[–]basinx2 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

I liked the movie

[–]Yboring 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ahh, now I had to go watch his delivery... and hear him say "dicatatorship".

[–]jpbertus 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I was taking an American Studies class and had to write a paper about American Exceptionalism, so I decided to focus my paper around this quote.

[–]bogseywogsey 236ポイント237ポイント  (17子コメント)

Do you want the Aladeen news? or do you want the Aladeen news?

[–]citizen_coping 359ポイント360ポイント  (56子コメント)

He's confident enough to explain shrinkage to her and still know that she's on his Yacht... and therein lies the implication.

[–]Williamhenryharris 243ポイント244ポイント  (9子コメント)

[–]Dr_Procrastinator 97ポイント98ポイント  (5子コメント)

/r/shittytumblrgifs and the link to prove it!

[–]Lobreeze 51ポイント52ポイント  (4子コメント)

I don't even get what the point is, why not just use a still image at this point?

[–]sleepy55 46ポイント47ポイント  (0子コメント)

How else are you supposed to know they are walking?

[–]saltyshyster 21ポイント22ポイント  (0子コメント)

Gotta have that extra 3 frames.

[–]daimposter 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

And that's why it's a shittytumblrgif. Absolutely no need for it to be gif.

[–]Mr_Curleyz 54ポイント55ポイント  (44子コメント)

Are you going to hurt women?

[–]Williamhenryharris 49ポイント50ポイント  (43子コメント)

[–]MorgenGry 13ポイント14ポイント  (42子コメント)

where's this from?

EDIT: Thanks everyone! added to my watchlist!

[–]Hara-Kiri 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

You lucky, lucky man.

[–]caring_gentleman 45ポイント46ポイント  (6子コメント)

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Watch it all. Now.

[–]Coryshepard117 29ポイント30ポイント  (2子コメント)

You know.....because of the implication.....

[–]caring_gentleman 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

Exactly, how could he say no. Who knows what could happen.

[–]jbgobgob 15ポイント16ポイント  (18子コメント)

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

I can highly recommend it. Just remember to leave any sympathy for the characters at the door. They're all assholes, but none more so than Dennis (the rape-y sociopath).

[–]itsmevichet 24ポイント25ポイント  (16子コメント)

I find Charlie to be the least asshole-ish and most understandable. He tends to be my favorite character.

[–]ThatHowYouGetAnts 25ポイント26ポイント  (3子コメント)

There's nothing understandable about a man who huffs glue and eats cat food to fall asleep

[–]Mr-Brandon 7ポイント8ポイント  (2子コメント)

You're just out of touch with reality.

[–]aandkh 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

No kidding. Who doesn't love ghouls and a nice milksteak?

[–]jbgobgob 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

Oh definitely! Charlie is the 'good guy' in the show, but that's not saying much.

[–]BaadKitteh 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I kind of love Charlie. He's just so earnest and adorable.

[–]Pseudo_Stratified 4ポイント5ポイント  (8子コメント)

After the Charlie and Dee Find Love episode, I realized that Charlie is just as low as Dennis. I think Dee is by far the least asshole-ish.

[–]_ROTTEN_ 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's always Philadelphia in Sunny

[–]BB_Queen 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Do you mean which episode or in general? It's from It's Always Funny in Philadelphia, episode 3 from season 6.

[–]delithug 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well I spose it is always funny....

[–]Denny_Craine 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Out there on the water.....no laws....just us and our tasty treats...

[–]pewpevv 140ポイント141ポイント  (71子コメント)

I wish celebrities tired of paparazzi would pull shit like this.

[–]Theory5 198ポイント199ポイント  (66子コメント)

Shit, if I was famous, that'd be fun for a good laugh. Get some fake blood packets, and pretend to beat a friend with a bat. When the cops come, just wipe everything off and act like nothing happened.

Dress up in a gorilla suit and mow my own lawn.

Snort sugar in plain view of them, then bitch on TV about how nobody ever died from confectionery and it's nobodies business how much sugar I put into my body, no matter the delivery system.

Rent a bouncy castle for the afternoon, for myself.

Go to a local butchers, buy the majority of a cow, put it in garbage bags outside, and come outside and repeatedly kick it every so often while screaming for it to be quiet.

[–]fuqd 67ポイント68ポイント  (13子コメント)

Sounds like a great way to get paparazzi to bother you more often.

[–]Theory5 55ポイント56ポイント  (11子コメント)

Yea, but then they'd leave me alone when I did normal stuff. "Oh, /u/Theory5 is just out with his family, we can't print this after last weeks edition of /u/Theory5 trying to force-feed Bill hamburgers in a dress!"

They'd get awesome shit to print, and I'd get left alone when being normal. Everybody wins! And if they don't, I'd do things they simply couldn't print, like buy giant dildos and plant them in my garden, or pay some homeless dude to come running out of my house in a gimp suit screaming "he's got ice cream".

[–]ncburbs 29ポイント30ポイント  (6子コメント)

Yea, but then they'd leave me alone when I did normal stuff.

Uh except the point of a prank is that you don't know when it's coming, so paparazzi are going to bother you ALL of the time waiting for your next crazy shenanigan. You would lose big time unless you enjoy 0 privacy 24/7

[–]plstcsldgr 20ポイント21ポイント  (1子コメント)

Not if he does it every Tuesday at 430 then wags his penis at traffic until the 5 o'clock news.

[–]brolocunato 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

Also, during the day to day activitie:

"CELEBRITIES, THEY"RE JUST LIKE US!"

[–]TyroneusLannister 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

You seem like good people.

[–]xahhfink6 169ポイント170ポイント  (23子コメント)

Iirc Daniel Radcliffe would wear the exact same outfit every day he left filming so that the paparazzi's photos looked like they were all from the same day and were useless

[–]TricksterPriestJace 56ポイント57ポイント  (4子コメント)

The single outfit wardrobe is such a brilliant subtle way to fuck with them.

[–]Theory5 22ポイント23ポイント  (8子コメント)

Yup. But my goal would be to basically make it so they'd print all the crazy stuff I did, and then they literally couldn't print anything normal I would do, so they'd leave me alone during my day to day business.

[–]JasonChernow 35ポイント36ポイント  (7子コメント)

Except they would follow you even harder in even larger numbers not wanting to miss any of the silly things you do

[–]jotch 8ポイント9ポイント  (5子コメント)

Thats when you pull the peter parker and leak exclusive images of yourself, for the right price.

[–]rrmains 4ポイント5ポイント  (4子コメント)

Get some fake blood packets, and pretend to beat a friend with a bat. When the cops come, just wipe everything off and act like nothing happened.

yeah, good luck with that. in some states you'd still be shot.

[–]ConundrumExplained 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

Are you just transcribing Shia Lebeouf's ten-year plan?

[–]KarlTheSnail 10ポイント11ポイント  (2子コメント)

I like you. Can I be the friend you beat with a bat?

[–]Theory5 19ポイント20ポイント  (1子コメント)

Sure, just be sure to keep screaming "I didn't touch your beanie babies"

[–]ManBat1 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

but mother told me not to lie

[–]iamtehlink 7ポイント8ポイント  (12子コメント)

You could rent a bounce house for yourself now! My family owns an inflatable rental company and the bounce houses are cheap

[–]psyon 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

Snort sugar in plain view of them

How do you prove it was just sugar you were snorting? Wouldn't people just assume you were making jokes about snorting cocaine?

[–]The_dev0 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

You could offer some to nearby children to demonstrate it's harmless, perhaps.

[–]Theory5 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

They'd think it was cocaine until I appeared on some talk show spot, with a workup about my 'addiction' to confectionery and how it's tearing my family apart.

[–]FiatMortem 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

You'd be the third Estevez brother!

[–]jstarlee 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

You would actually create content for them this way...

[–]Metroid545 30ポイント31ポイント  (6子コメント)

I've seen this before but I have no idea where it's from and I've seen the dictator

[–]TechySpecky 31ポイント32ポイント  (5子コメント)

Girls don't understand shrinkage :(

[–]solidsnake2085 69ポイント70ポイント  (4子コメント)

[–]cycopl 32ポイント33ポイント  (1子コメント)

that transition to correct aspect ratio is weird

[–]ObeseSnake 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Is this the new Print Shop Pro equivalent of some sort of GIF making software?

[–]saltyshyster 17ポイント18ポイント  (0子コメント)

That GIF is silky smooth

[–]daddaman1 37ポイント38ポイント  (0子コメント)

Looks like a tic tac in an afro

[–]PainMatrix 18ポイント19ポイント  (0子コメント)

Like a frightened turtle going into its shell!

[–]Barbsss 19ポイント20ポイント  (0子コメント)

"Bad news... It's a girl. Where is the trash can"

[–]ReepinItReal 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hey. Maybe he's a grower.

[–]SMARLOW_XD[🍰] 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

The fact I've seen this on facebook two years before reddit is slightly dissapointing..

[–]stilesja 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

Because of the implication.

[–]GoEaglesAyoo 17ポイント18ポイント  (5子コメント)

I got a knife and a dick, one of them is going in you

[–]Keerikkadan91 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Reminds me of Dan Bilzerian.

[–]DanaKaZ 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, you don't "gotta", but it does seem like the lesser evil.

[–]Doodenkoff 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

No. Not really.

[–]aawebber 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

This thread contains some of the most broken gifs I've ever seen

[–]DrDemenz 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I was just happy this movie had substantially less penis than Brüno.

[–]jworsham 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I WAS IN THE POOL!!