Dear agents,

Let me begin by expressing just how impressed we all are here at the Federal Reserve at the work you've been doing. You're all miss Yelen is talking about in the office. However, especially now that we are on the edge of destroying the bit-coin, we must remember to hold the course.

In keeping with this renewed effort to destroy the bitCoin, upper management has decided to open up additional positions for Disinfo agents in the crypto FUD department. This is a real, foot-in-the-door kind of position. Many of my shadow brothers in the Illuminati began as simple Disinfo agents.

Of course, expanding our Disinfo department will mean that we are going to be looking for some additional managers to make sure all operations continue as effectively as possible. Current Disinfo agents looking to take their careers to the next level should prepare their motivations and arguments for why they deserve that coveted management position. Interviews will take place in the heart of your darkest nightmare, held by Nhialytp, dream-lord of the infernal plane. Expect questions about your skill set, personal motivation, and your feelings on one day slipping from this mortal coil, unloved and forgotten.

For all the other departments, such as those targeting Libertarians, goldbugs and sovereign citizens, little will change. His High-Communionship, Starlord Bernanke, has communed with the Space Lizards of Nibiru and they have found your progress so far to be highly disappointing. Bernanke added that there really is no proper translation that captures quite the nuance in their disappointment, but called it 'the rhetorical equivalent of "Cats in the cradle", distilled into a single sentence'.

Just remember, we have not lost the love of our masters yet and we remain in their cold-blooded embrace, for now.

Signed,

Larry Israelstein

PS. Resumes can be submitted by writing them on a fiat note and burning them in the pyre at reception.