As we all know, alphas know all about science and logic, and women are like the teenagers of the house. That's why I was overjoyed to have a man explain things to me I thought I knew. Let me show you firstly my hamster; and then the beneficent logic of terpers, so you can know the truth.

WHAT MY HAMSTER THOUGHT HAPPENED IN A VASECTOMY

See, I always thought that the testes secreted testosterone which was taken up by the surrounding bloodstream and distributed around the body.

That when a man goes to get a vasectomy, he's cool producing testosterone, because he still has testicles to produce that testerone, because the doctor understood to cut here and just stop the man from ejaculating sperm, rather than to stop the man producing testosterone by cutting here and making a new castrati with a shit voice.

I thought semen still contained testosterone because, well...men were still producing it and it was running through their veins. In fact, there was some evidence to suggest that they might produce more.

Well, that was my hamster. And what do you know? She was wrong. She's not a true alfalfa with terp logic and science knowing.

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS IN A VASECTOMY (THANK GOD TERPS SHARED WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT THE AWESOMENESS OF BIOTRUTHS, THE MOST LOGICAL OF ALL SCIENCES)

This post took me on a journey of discovery. I found out so much - thanks to vigorous research. I'm going to quote it, in all its scientific glory:

Considering the primary production location for testosterone in your body is in your testicles, blocking the most obvious route for testosterone to get into her vagina by the vasectomy, I would assume it quite possibly reduces the testosterone that goes from you to her via the semen.

Quite possible! Oh my God! What did you base this on? I mean, I thought if testosterone is in the blood, it would probably be in the seminal fluid, like these hamsters found in 1975 but they were clearly misinformed about the truths...THE BIOTRUTHS.

there is so little science on the aftermath of vasectomy that all I can offer is a hunch that it isn’t safe as they say it is

Well, my hamster thought, they do almost a yearly study on the length of penises around the world, so surely they must do something else other than measure them. Oh my God! He's right! I can only find 100 pages on Google scholar before it starts descending into German!

But wait, there's more. Just like a woman's body can shut down legitimate rape, it can also do this:

I would think that there should be a way for the woman’s body to go “hmmm there’s no sperm in this semen”, and then react negatively to the man that is giving her sperm-free semen.

Amazing! I would wonder that maybe men should be able to tell a woman is on birth control because he can detect with his penis whether she's fertile (what all good biotruths are based on), but it seems in this one case, terps aren't listening to their penises.

But there's more!

My basic concern about vasectomy is that is that the testicles keep producing sperm and they have nowhere to go once the vasectomy is done. “It’s all just absorbed into the body” seems such a weak explanation for the long term effects.

This is where my hamster had so much to learn. And I see how abysmal my maths were. See, I thought that men on average produced more than enough sperm daily to the point where they reabsorbed over one billion a month. And that despite the folk belief in blue balls and coming a jet stream when you've been abstaining for a while, that if that really happened, to quote this page should excess sperm not be absorbed, it would not be long before the patient's testicles were dragging along the ground.

Oh but I was wrong! Wrong! I'm glad one of the alphas was here to inform us of the real science of vasectomies. Don't make the mistake I did ladies, and suggest a vasectomy for your husband, because pretty soon, I'm going to be mopping up the scuff marks from my husband's balls dragging on the ground. And it's been nigh on 20 years since he had it done! What have I done!

TL;DR Sex education, Doctor! Stat!