How do I know this? I share the kink.

Background: Using a throwaway: I’m a bisexual male, in a long-term relationship with a man. As a kid, I moved around a lot because of my father’s job; every schools year or so we’d uproot and move across the country. I was often ‘the new boy’ and in many places I struggled to make friends. In fact, I had a sort of general hatred/jealously of the kids with friends or, as I got older, boyfriends and girlfriends.

My sexuality was starting to appear at the same time I was being frustrated at being on the bottom rung of the social ladder. The idea of controlling people was getting me off. I was also starting to do internet searches for things like “how to make friends” and “how to get girlfriend”, and trying to follow the advice discussed in AOL groups by armchair psychologists.

And there it was. Imagining I could behave a certain way and have every man and women be instantly sexually attracted to me, that was hot. I would (and do) fantasize that I’m a warlord, a Khal, the sole Gerudo male, whatever – some big, muscled, high-status male who can get whatever he wants through a mix of sex appeal and intimidation, with a harem of beautiful fuck toys (sorry, plates) in tow.

And imagining the objects of your sexual desire are mindless slaves to their own passions? Again, that’s hot. You’re the missing piece in their psychological jigsaws; their life had no meaning before you appeared and gave them a reason to live. And, no matter how badly you treat them, they worship you for it. It’s a handy way to excuse yourself for the shitty way you behave. Anyone with any Dom leanings would find that hot, in my opinion.

Being bisexual, I applied this to both men and women in my mind, and in a way, I think that helped me not to get into a toxic mindset. I didn’t usually have many female friends, and I think it would have been easy to decide that my fantasy was real and that, if I got to know one, they would all really be like that. I never really got the chance to pretend my sexual desires were anything to do with the ‘natural order’ by the simple luck that I was also attracted to men, and knowing that ‘the natural order’ hadn’t simply warped to make me the apex sex God, obviously.

When I started dating, it was clear that while yes, confidence helps, being obnoxious and focusing only on yourself doesn’t work at all. You’re a team with your other half, regardless of their gender. My partner now does indulge my fantasy sometimes, but I’m a gentleman and always reciprocate and treat my desires as nothing more than the sexual fantasy they are.

So, my conclusion is, terpers are getting off on this idea of being able to manipulate women into being their sex slaves. Field reports are wank material. Hell, I get turned on reading them sometimes. However, trying to pretend this sexual fantasy applies to real life is laughable.

Tl:dr: Terps wank over the idea of being ‘alpha’. Don’t understand real life.