上位 200 件のコメント表示する 500

[–]Kittimm 3585ポイント3586ポイント  (94子コメント)

That when I was a kid, the #1 toy a girl could wish for was a doll that would routinely piss itself.

[–]LindenZin 5314ポイント5315ポイント  (397子コメント)

Get this a lot when thinking about space.

So my country is pretty big, I've never seen all of it but I've been to a few places. But at the same time, from now till the moment I die I would not have traversed even 1% of the earth.

And then the Earth is a speck of dust in the galaxy and that our galaxy is less than that when you consider the universe. And then there's me, on earth, worrying about my next paycheck.

[–]DaBluePanda 4333ポイント4334ポイント  (217子コメント)

So insignificant yet bad traffic can ruin your day, a cute girl smiling at you can make your day and too much pineapple can dissolve your mouth.

[–]WOT_IF_UR_LEGS 4008ポイント4009ポイント  (141子コメント)

How much pineapple we talkin here

[–]Powja 3352ポイント3353ポイント  (98子コメント)

Too much

[–]right_in_two 836ポイント837ポイント  (77子コメント)

What is the quantity that comes right before 'too much', but after 'enough'?

[–]AtticusFrenchToast 2618ポイント2619ポイント  (46子コメント)

As someone who really loves pineapple, sometimes "too much" comes before "enough."

Edit: Lol thanks anonymous gilder! May you be blessed with many pineapples and a resilient mouth.

[–]treeof 1044ポイント1045ポイント  (35子コメント)

But just the right amount of pineapple would be appreciated by both you AND the smiling girl.

[–]VanCardboardbox 339ポイント340ポイント  (38子コメント)

Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space.

[–]WalkerBRiley 104ポイント105ポイント  (14子コメント)

The Total Perspective Vortex is allegedly the most horrible torture device to which a sentient being can be subjected. When you are put into the Vortex you are given just one momentary glimpse of the entire unimaginable infinity of creation, and somewhere in it there's a tiny little speck, a microscopic dot on a microscopic dot, which says, "You are here."

[–]VanCardboardbox 86ポイント87ポイント  (8子コメント)

"Have some sense of proportion!” she would say, sometimes as often as thirty-eight times in a single day.

And so he built the Total Perspective Vortex — just to show her. And into one end he plugged the whole of reality as extrapolated from a piece of fairy cake, and into the other end he plugged his wife: so that when he turned it on she saw in one instant the whole infinity of creation and herself in relation to it.

To Trin Tragula’s horror, the shock completely annihilated her brain; but to his satisfaction he realized that he had proved conclusively that if life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion.

[–]bonbon1994 3833ポイント3834ポイント  (211子コメント)

how the fuck does dust accumulate on a fan?! it just doesn't make any sense!

[–]PostVictorianMan 2528ポイント2529ポイント  (158子コメント)

Two words: static electricity

[–]DrippingBeefCurtains 5507ポイント5508ポイント  (141子コメント)

Two more words: horse masturbation

[–]batiwa 2004ポイント2005ポイント  (83子コメント)

One more word : why

[–]bananannian 712ポイント713ポイント  (49子コメント)

For that precious precious horse semen, obviously.

[–]DeadNotSleepingWI 401ポイント402ポイント  (28子コメント)

I don't remember what I watched or when I watched it (easily more than 10-15 years ago), but I don't think it was porn and one quote has stuck with ever since. "The worst part is trying to get the horse hairs out of your pussy."

Thank you brain. Still cant remember basic math concepts, but you choose to retain that forever.

[–]MexicoToucher 350ポイント351ポイント  (14子コメント)

You know what's worse than remembering that rather than math? Trying to get the horse hairs out of your pussy.

[–]XVermillion 265ポイント266ポイント  (26子コメント)

Yup, the ceiling fans in my apartment are running 24/7 and still get dust on them.

[–]bananannian 425ポイント426ポイント  (23子コメント)

I swear dust is actually some kind of nanobots working for a form of higher intelligence or an alien species. Think about it, it's everywhere, it gets inside your electrical appliances, it obscures your computer screen so it can observe your every move, it turns up in those corners of your room or gaps between places where your broom's/vacuum cleaner's handle is JUST the wrong length for you to brush/vacuum them away. What's worse is that however many times you clean all the dust up THEY JUST KEEP COMING BACK. There's no getting rid of them. There's no escape.

Next thing you know, the dust on your fan simultaneously swirls outward in a gray cloud of particles that are almost, but not quite too tiny to see. It envelops your entire body, your skin feels tingly and your vision blurs. You vaguely recollect your life's precious moments as they flash through your dimming consciousness. Somehow you manage to peer downwards through the thickening grey haze only to see your whole body disintegrating before your very eyes from the legs up.

The next day, your roommate comes into your apartment only to see a small pile of dust before your computer, gradually being swept away by the wind from your ceiling fan.

[–]Ray661 273ポイント274ポイント  (5子コメント)

OOOORRRR

It's just static electricity because your fan is constantly rubbing on air by design, and that causes the dust to cling to the fan.

Edit: I've seen the light, it's alien nanobots

[–]Lim_Dul 4739ポイント4740ポイント  (519子コメント)

Selling sex is illegal, but you can give it away for free.

[–]malvim 3061ポイント3062ポイント  (176子コメント)

Unless someone's filming it. Then it's porn, the not-illegal version of selling sex.

¯\(ツ)

[–]Dman331 854ポイント855ポイント  (109子コメント)

Except that legally you have to go through a huge process to produce and sell porn.

[–]_paralyzed_ 715ポイント716ポイント  (91子コメント)

It's really not that complicated. A few signatures and copies of 2 forms of ID. My buddy ran a dungeon and made a few films. He sent me a "making porn 101" e-mail, and it's surprisingly easy.

[–]CaptainDickfingers 4055ポイント4056ポイント  (496子コメント)

That as an adult it is deemed fucking weird to drink a humans breast milk, but to drink random animals breast milk is absolutely fine.

[–]manbearpig330 1813ポイント1814ポイント  (179子コメント)

I already posted this one, but cheese dude. That first guy that tried cheese had to have been fucking insane. Old milk. From a different animal. :X

[–]CaptainDickfingers 1062ポイント1063ポイント  (106子コメント)

Hmm this incredibly old, mouldy milk stinks to high heaven... lets eat it.

[–]racoon1969 928ポイント929ポイント  (87子コメント)

same for alcoholic beverages.

"hm... this barrel of grapejuice has been standing in the basement for quite a few years now, I wonder... O my god, that smells insane!! meh, let's drink it"

some hours later

"hm... I can't seem to stand up straight anymore and my speech is slurred. Let's call this stuff wine and keep on drinking it for centuries to come"

[–]tiajuanat 523ポイント524ポイント  (51子コメント)

Funny thing about Alcoholic beverages though, without them we probably wouldn't have created civilization. It's been pivotal in getting us here.

  • Beer ensured that Mesopotamians could have a consistent source of water and calories year round
  • Eventually humanity realized that extremely strong and filtered beverages would disinfect wounds

Both these points moved us from, "I might live to a ripe age of 18" to "There's a good chance I'll live to 40"

Edit: RIP Inbox

[–]LitigiousWhelk 346ポイント347ポイント  (25子コメント)

Oh it's much more than that. The entire reason societies formed from the beginning was because of proximity to arable farmland in which to grow grains to make beer. There's documentaries about it. Societies exist because we wanted beer, literally.

[–]drcshell 135ポイント136ポイント  (6子コメント)

Cheese isn't "old milk" though, it's milk that's been modified with an enzyme, found in cow/sheep/goat stomachs. So the invention of cheese is more like "Hey, I put this milk in my haggis and now it's chunky... and taste better... and doesn't go bad as quickly!!!"

The aging of cheese is for flavor, and that came later.

[–]djryanj 840ポイント841ポイント  (188子コメント)

As someone who has drunk (or tasted, at least) human breast milk as an adult I can tell you that cow's milk's got nothin' on mama's milk.

[–]bonjourtabby 118ポイント119ポイント  (7子コメント)

I've tasted my own out of curiosity. Dear lord it's sweet, no wonder my baby likes it so much. It reminded me of the milk from a bowl of Frosted Flakes.

[–]Dodgiestyle 603ポイント604ポイント  (95子コメント)

When my wife was breastfeeding our son, I hesitantly, reluctantly tasted it. My wife cringed with distaste, almost disgust. Her look threw me off a bit, so I just said "It's not bad", but inside, I was like OM NOM!

[–]sysiphean 658ポイント659ポイント  (58子コメント)

My wife was trying to increase her production, and was pumping after every nursing. The kid started skipping the last feeding of the night, and my wife was worried that her production would drop because she couldn't pump as much as the baby would take. She didn't need to store anymore, just pump it. So I offered to, up, pump her myself.

Yes, she figured it out, but agreed anyway. And for two and a half glorious weeks, our evenings concluded (more or less) with us lying in bed for half an hour while I drank from the nectar of the gods.

It actually ended up bringing us a lot closer together emotionally, and brought about a boost in our sex life that persists to this day.

[–]Viper0789 763ポイント764ポイント  (17子コメント)

I have the weirdest.... urge for oreos.

[–]Tesatire 39ポイント40ポイント  (1子コメント)

This is incredibly common. I was having difficulty pumping but was a single mother. So my sister had no advice for me because she said that her husband helped her.

[–]stupidfarmer 84ポイント85ポイント  (7子コメント)

As a dad I can confirm. It's delicious, and makes my bone strong.

[–]tunabomber 205ポイント206ポイント  (24子コメント)

I ran out of half and half late one night and all that was left for my White Russians was breast milk. Best White Russian I have ever had.

[–]PM-ME-YOUR-ASS-GIRLZ 6014ポイント6015ポイント  (468子コメント)

Going to sleep

George carlin - People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.'

[–]Vigilantius 5108ポイント5109ポイント  (300子コメント)

In order to sleep, you first have to pretend to be asleep. Like you have to fool it into letting you be unconscious.

[–]HugeMallett 2101ポイント2102ポイント  (224子コメント)

depends how tired you are

[–]OilSheikh 3694ポイント3695ポイント  (198子コメント)

Last night I fell asleep in the McDonald's drive through.

[–]dmcnelly 904ポイント905ポイント  (101子コメント)

I was working on getting a mission critical server at work back up and running with one of those migraines that hurts so bad it makes you puke so I was running between server and bathroom over and over. Boss woke me up this morning asleep on the floor of the server room. I don't know how I got there or what time I passed out. Server was working though.

[–]CanYouLemon 1046ポイント1047ポイント  (39子コメント)

The three stages of an IT techie

1) Why the fuck wont this work

2)How the fuck is it working

3) Fuck it its working now

[–]TacoNinjaSkills 63ポイント64ポイント  (22子コメント)

^ Me as an amateur coder.

[–]f03nix 58ポイント59ポイント  (16子コメント)

A slightly different me as a full time coder.

1) Why the hell is this not working ?

2) I'll be so mad if it's this. *makes a small change*

3) Fuck it's working now, let's debug why won't the previous thing work. *reverts*

4) Now even that's working. Should've done a clean build.

[–]nhingy 3532ポイント3533ポイント  (426子コメント)

Tongues. What the fuck is that all about? A weird muscle thing that lives in your mouth?! Look at them. It's not right I tell you. Really not right.

[–]SnuggleBunni69 682ポイント683ポイント  (33子コメント)

And when you like someone you put yours into someone else's mouth and wiggle it around.

[–]SUSAN_IS_A_BITCH 1557ポイント1558ポイント  (212子コメント)

Cymothoa exigua. What the fuck is that all about? A weird muscle thing that lives in your mouth?! Look at them. It's not right I tell you. Really not right.

[–]SamsungGalaxyGreen 336ポイント337ポイント  (69子コメント)

And how the fuck does that happen.

[–]Akitz 918ポイント919ポイント  (62子コメント)

Neat little parasite which eats away the tongue of the fish, and then attaches itself to the exposed muscles, and the fish is able to use the bug as its new tongue.

Edit: words

[–]DrippingBeefCurtains 247ポイント248ポイント  (6子コメント)

That thing even looks like a supervillain. Rubbing his hands together and shit...

[–]PhilosophyOfTheWorld 2948ポイント2949ポイント  (286子コメント)

That our idea of what the past looks like primarily comes from film quality. It's why colorized photos are so fascinating, they leap that gap of "it's a black and white picture so it must've happened a zillion years ago."

And now that consumer cameras within the last 5 years are super high quality and may not get recognizably better, almost all pictures are going to have roughly the same level of quality from here on out. Someone born in 2013 will look at baby pictures of themselves in 30 years and it'll look like they were taken yesterday. Hell, without obvious cues of what year it is, a picture from 2011 will look indistinguishable from a picture from 2111.

I've thought about this a lot

[–]pemboo 1584ポイント1585ポイント  (33子コメント)

That's where Instagram's shitty filters come in!

[–]Rakuall 937ポイント938ポイント  (22子コメント)

He's using sepia, toon, and glitter. That places this photo somewhen in the 2020's.

[–]Nos_4r2 98ポイント99ポイント  (12子コメント)

The one defining aspect that will let us know the true age of a photo will be the clothes people wear in photos.

Photo quality might not change but fashion will. 30 years from now you will see photos from today and say to yourself "I can't believe I used to wear that"

[–]DragDagger 1992ポイント1993ポイント  (355子コメント)

The thought of no longer thinking and no longer existing. That I'll be just as sentient as the table I'm currently resting on at some point in the next 60 years or so. That when my eyes close for the final time I'll enter an infinitesmally long, dreamless, emotionless, painless and thoughtless sleep, my body will degrade to nothing and any impact I've had on this earth will die out when those who knew me enter the same state.

Fuck man, I hate it when I think about this shit.

[–]LocoRocoo 1018ポイント1019ポイント  (52子コメント)

actually, if it's a good table, the table will possibly have a longer existence than you.

[–]WonderfulUnicorn 576ポイント577ポイント  (44子コメント)

More valuable too

[–]Cavmo 734ポイント735ポイント  (36子コメント)

Yeah, at least the table can support a family.

[–]Vigilantius 61ポイント62ポイント  (22子コメント)

Damn bro, take it easy there, the guy is having an existential crisis, he does not need you absolutely destroying him as well.

[–]Zajdo1993 456ポイント457ポイント  (112子コメント)

But it's already happened. You were dead for infinity before being born.

Thinking about it that way makes death seem less foreign as a concept.

[–]Winterhorrorland 131ポイント132ポイント  (35子コメント)

I always heard that quote as a way to cope with oblivion. However, for billions of years I wasn't existing yet now I am. I know nothing else but to exist, so to go back into a state where I am unfamiliar... is terrifying.

[–]resting_O_face 69ポイント70ポイント  (10子コメント)

I think about this all the time, especially when I'm trying to sleep (fuck me right). And what really gets to me is that everything you said is true but you forgot to add that it's... forever.

[–]ColeYote 310ポイント311ポイント  (17子コメント)

My grandfather found a human femur while working on a construction project and then had a lamp made out of it.

[–]BobbyEn9 308ポイント309ポイント  (16子コメント)

Beef cat food. Fucking cats are eating fucking cows. Humans have really altered the food chain.

[–]greenpineapple 6223ポイント6224ポイント  (494子コメント)

Owning a pet. Essentially you have taken this animal from their mother and have kept them against their will but they have developed Stockholm syndrome to the point that they love you.

[–]flameguy21 2547ポイント2548ポイント  (129子コメント)

Well, you DO give them food and shelter.

[–]AbramsLullaby 2425ポイント2426ポイント  (108子コメント)

Finn: Jake, so I just had this weird thought.

Jake: Well, that's normal; people always have weird thoughts around campfires.

Finn: Well, I don't know. Isn't is sort of strange that we keep pets? We kind of make them worship us.

Jake: What?! Nah.

Finn: No, seriously, think about it, we're their only source of a food, water, and like tummy rubs. They basically have to love us.

Jake: What's wrong with tummy rubs?

Finn: Yeah, tummy rubs are pretty great,

[–]Captian_Cocksmith 174ポイント175ポイント  (5子コメント)

And pets and treats and a bed to sleep in.

I love my pups.

[–]demalo 2023ポイント2024ポイント  (64子コメント)

"Where are my testicles, Summer?"

[–]wangchung16 879ポイント880ポイント  (28子コメント)

That's an intense line of questioning, Snuffels.

[–]Vague_Intentions 959ポイント960ポイント  (19子コメント)

"That was my slave name. I will now be called snowball, because my fur is pretty and white."

[–]SpaceCowboy170 292ポイント293ポイント  (13子コメント)

If a human was born with stumpy legs, would they breed it with another deformed human, and put their children on display, like the dachshund?

[–]cdc194 416ポイント417ポイント  (45子コメント)

Not true, I have a 16 week old Maine coon kitten... she doesn't love me, she tries to kill me at least 10 times per day but her little bitty claws and needle teeth just tickle.

[–]xXTheDaymanXx 33ポイント34ポイント  (3子コメント)

To be fair, I didn't take my cat from his mom. Someone else did that a few weeks before I met him. I saved him from a cage in a kennel. I am a hero!

[–]kevdev92 6304ポイント6305ポイント  (647子コメント)

Legal tender. The only thing holding currency together is our own confidence that it works.

Edit: Reddit Gold, the one true currency!

[–]Lawsoffire 3775ポイント3776ポイント  (302子コメント)

It is even weirder with digital money.

Something that does not exist can get me the food i need to survive

[–]IRAn00b 1261ポイント1262ポイント  (75子コメント)

I find it especially weird since I work in a position where I honestly don't do a lot of tangible work. It's not like someone hands me a pile of steel at the beginning of the day and I turn in some finished widgets on my way out the door. Instead, I just sit at a computer all day. Most of my paychecks are never represented with cash or even checks. It's all just completely digital. If I buy, say, a beer, then you have to go through so many layers of abstraction to find another actual tangible good/service on the other side of the rabbit hole.

So, the bartender hands me a beer. I give him this piece of plastic, and his computer reads the magnetic strip on it. It tells the credit card company to change some 1s and 0s, and they tell the bank to reflect that on my statement. And my bank has some 1s and 0s that say I'm good for the money, but only because my work sends some 1s and 0s every other Thursday. And my work does it not because I make some thing that they can sell, but rather because I just cause the machine to keep turning in some nearly imperceptible way. And we're not even selling anything. It's our clients who sell stuff.

So, to go from the beer on one end to another tangible object takes a pretty long time. It's honestly really fucking weird. The way I live day-to-day is so far removed and filtered through so many levels of abstraction in comparison to how our ancestors lived and what we evolved to do. Eating and fighting and other things that help you to, you know, not die, aren't really part of the equation.

[–]ChickenFarmer 1774ポイント1775ポイント  (170子コメント)

I don't think the step from cash to digital is as big as from commodity money to fiat money though. Going from commodity (e.g. rice, salt, gold) as something that can be consumed or used to just writing down who owes who and tokens resembling that is a huge step. From paper to digital is just a change in the way you write things down, basically.

[–]purplezart 613ポイント614ポイント  (118子コメント)

Gold isn't really useful to most people, though, so isn't that already somewhat fiat currency?

[–]ChickenFarmer 356ポイント357ポイント  (47子コメント)

Good question. You're right that the value of gold mostly comes from the trust in other people accepting it. But I think it doesn't meet the definition of fiat money (at least the one from Wikipedia), because it isn't decreed or issued by anyone.

[–]MakesTooMuchSense 1176ポイント1177ポイント  (65子コメント)

“Oh, I think not,” Varys said, swirling the wine in his cup. “Power is a curious thing, my lord. Perchance you have considered the riddle I posed you that day in the inn?”

“It has crossed my mind a time or two,” Tyrion admitted. “The king, the priest, the rich man—who lives and who dies? Who will the swordsman obey? It’s a riddle without an answer, or rather, too many answers. All depends on the man with the sword.”

“And yet he is no one,” Varys said. “He has neither crown nor gold nor favor of the gods, only a piece of pointed steel.”

“That piece of steel is the power of life and death.”

“Just so… yet if it is the swordsmen who rule us in truth, who do we pretend our kings hold the power? Why should a strong man with a sword ever obey a child king like Joffrey, or a wine-sodden oaf like his father?”

“Because these child kings and drunken oafs can call other strong men, with other swords.”

“Then these other swordsmen have the true power. Or do they?” Varys smiled. “Some say knowledge is power. Some tell us that all power comes from the gods. Others say it derives from law. Yet that day on the steps of Baelor’s Sept, our godly High Septon and the lawful Queen Regent and your ever-so-knowledgeable servant were as powerless as any cobbler or cooper in the crowd. Who truly killed Eddard Stark, do you think? Joffrey, who gave the command? Ser Ilyn Payne, who swung the sword? Or… another?”

Tyrion cocked his head sideways. “Did you mean to answer your damned riddle, or only to make my head ache worse?”

Varys smiled. “Here, then. Power resides where men believe it resides. No more and no less.”

“So power is a mummer’s trick?”

“A shadow on the wall,” Varys murmured, “yet shadows can kill. And ofttimes a very small man can cast a very large shadow.”

Tyrion smiled. “Lord Varys, I am growing strangely fond of you. I may kill you yet, but I think I’d feel sad about it.”

“I will take that as high praise.”

[–]WutangCND 345ポイント346ポイント  (86子コメント)

Amazing isn't it? I know it's not paper but for my points sake, it's incredible how these pieces of paper can travel for decades, every person treating it with care, not to damage it, keep it safe before trading it. Oh and try to get as much of it as possible.

[–]AFlyingWhale_ 329ポイント330ポイント  (81子コメント)

Especially since these pieces of paper don't hold any actual value. We treat them carefully only because we somehow collectively agreed that this paper is worth something.

[–]Lousy_Kid 831ポイント832ポイント  (72子コメント)

orgies

I'm currently working a maintenance job at a retreat center and there's a tantric sex workshop going on. Essentially everyone has sex together in a big room like they're doing yoga or Pilates. The more I think about it the weirder it gets.

[–]YungCreditz 675ポイント676ポイント  (56子コメント)

Cats, they're little tigers. Watch a tiger video in the wild like fucking discovery shit. They're big ass kittens that attack harder than a kitten.

[–]daveyk95 5034ポイント5035ポイント  (325子コメント)

Every stranger you've ever met, glanced at, or even interacted with over the internet over the course of your entire life is either still out there leading a life as complicated and vivid as your own or, well, dead already.

[–]PostVictorianMan 1232ポイント1233ポイント  (149子コメント)

What if my brain was in a jar somewhere preserved by machines and everything or everyone I ever knew was just the result of stimulation of different neurons like this and everyone I ever interacted on the internet was a bot?

[–]bananannian 739ポイント740ポイント  (96子コメント)

Solipsism.

Also, /r/solipsism is a thing apparently.

[–]PostVictorianMan 839ポイント840ポイント  (58子コメント)

Wow, /r/solipsism is not only a thing, but a brilliantly executed thing! Thanks for sharing.

(If you're using subreddit theme) All posts and comments are made by 'You' (no hyperlinks to usernames), Moderators are 'your ego' and 'your id', and only '1 reader' and '1 user here now'.

That is some dedication by the Mods (shoutout to /u/monkeytits and /u/Aransentin)

[–]follownobody 1191ポイント1192ポイント  (316子コメント)

Feeling your heart beat. And when it skips a beat. That's your life. And it skips and misses beats. And you can feel it.

[–]slightly_pretentious 322ポイント323ポイント  (52子コメント)

Despite what Reddit says, I believe it's fairly normal for your heart to 'skip' a beat, in other words, a beat which deviates from your regular rate.

However, if heart beat remains irregular for more than a few minutes, I too, would see a doctor.

[–]throwmeintothewall 502ポイント503ポイント  (32子コメント)

My heart has a permanent irregular extra beat like i am some sort of prog metal band

[–]sugarpeasdropem 124ポイント125ポイント  (5子コメント)

Cheers to the best use of the phrase "like I am some sort of prog metal band" that will ever happen.

[–]lewzerkid 1314ポイント1315ポイント  (228子コメント)

How my conscience began and why it's me and not someone else.

Basically, I didn't exist a short 30 years ago. I had no consciousness. No thoughts. I simply was nothing.

2 people have sex and conceive a child and while I'm unaware of it, my consciousness begins to form and for some reason I am able to think as me.

I feel like it would only make sense as an outsider looking in at a robot being programmed and turned on. We're not individuals. We're objects that are given logical path-finding abilities for various actions.

Yet I'm not just an object being observed. I am now something that can think. And I've been nothing for trillions billions of years until 30 years ago. Eventually I'll be nothing again.

Where does my consciousness come from and why is it me and not someone else? Why am I me and not you? Are we all the same person reacting to different stimuli?

What the fuck, man?

[–]The7thOne 271ポイント272ポイント  (93子コメント)

This is something I've thought about, almost to the point of insanity. Why was it me? How am I me? I had no memories before I was born, and if that's the case, how come I'm not in somebody else's body, or someone else's mind? How am I, mentally, physically, me?

It's a bit difficult to explain, but it's something I haven't been able to stop thinking about. There are billions of other people out there, yet somehow, I'm experiencing, well, me.

Think about it. There are hundreds of people born every minute, maybe thousands. There are around 7 billion humans on Earth. Out of all 7 billion, somehow, I'm conscious, aware of my surroundings, am experiencing things, and am living a life. How is it that I'm not someone else?

[–]SirSoliloquy 99ポイント100ポイント  (22子コメント)

The way I see it, you're thinking of it the wrong way, unless you believe that there's such a thing as a spirit, soul, or other ghost-in-the-machine.

You and your consciousness are one and the same. They came into being as your mind developed, and it exists because the mind exists, as a fundamental part of the mind.

There is no you separate from the brain, and there is nobody else that the brain could possibly be. To ask why the consciousness is the same as asking why your desk is that specific desk, and not another desk occupying the same molecules. There is no "other desk."

The desk is the molecules. You are the brain.

The consciousness, as you understand it, is an effect of a biochemical process, like a flame is an effect of a chemical process.

You weren't around before the brain developed from a sperm and an egg, just like flame wasn't around before molecules started combining with oxygen.

Your brain, like nearly every human brain, produces a consciousness that thinks and perceives and wonders and has a sense of self. The consciousness doesn't have access direct to the other human brains that are out there, so it is necessarily a separate consciousness from the other brains. When the brain stops functioning, the consciousness ends, just like every consciousness ends in time.

So why aren't you someone else? Because your brain is itself, and not another brain. You exist as yourself by necessity.

[–]CornerstoneHQ 1362ポイント1363ポイント  (90子コメント)

Spending the weekend drinking. At first I liked it, then it was a guilty pleasure, then I realised the irony of it. Working to afford to drink to forget you work.

[–]thegodawfultruth 287ポイント288ポイント  (23子コメント)

"Buy this car to drive to work. Drive to work to pay for this car."

[–]AlcoholicEngineer 96ポイント97ポイント  (3子コメント)

Yep. Been there. Alcohol becomes the whole point of putting up with work.

There's always something that makes it worth it, but alcohol takes over.

[–]CuntyMcGiggles 218ポイント219ポイント  (48子コメント)

That I hate peas, but love pea soup. And I love carrots, but hate carrot soup.

[–]iamasecretthrowaway 1636ポイント1637ポイント  (318子コメント)

Mushrooms.

There are lots of poisonous mushrooms and there are lots of nonpoisonous mushrooms. But people had to try them all to figure it out, with varying degrees of dead. Who was that desperate to add mushrooms to their diet that they didn't just quit after someone ate one and ended up dead? They don't supply a ton of calories; they weren't sustaining anyone in a famine. And they don't have an otherwise unsourcable vitamin or nutrient we require for life. Everything, except maybe cream of mushroom soup, tastes almost the same without them. What on earth drove people to feel that they were such an essential part of life that they were worth pursuing as a food source? No, not even a food source. A food accoutrement.

[–]druedan 1039ポイント1040ポイント  (142子コメント)

Well, people pursued them as a food source because because they're a good source of protein that you don't have to hunt.

And they probably learned which ones were safe by watching animals, rather than random experimentation.

[–]SnakeDocMaster 896ポイント897ポイント  (101子コメント)

I read somewhere a way to test if something is poisonous:

  1. Rub it on your hands. Wait. if you don't have a skin reaction, go to 2.

  2. Open it and rub it on your skin. Wait. If you don't have a reaction, go to 3.

  3. Put it on your lips. Wait. if you don't have a reaction, go to 4.

  4. Put it in your mouth and spit it out. Wait. If you don't have a reaction, go to 5.

  5. Eat a tiny bit. Wait. If you don't have a reaction, go to 6.

  6. Eat some more. Wait. If you don't have a reaction, it's probably fine!

*This is a horrible summary of what I remember reading somewhere (probably here). Please don't die.

[–]noteverrelevant 119ポイント120ポイント  (8子コメント)

It's called the Universal Edibility Test

[–]Szwejkowski 73ポイント74ポイント  (5子コメント)

Do not rely on this test for unknown fungi.

With shit like Destroying Angel out there, you'd better be damn sure you've correctly ID'd it.

[–]FriboR 95ポイント96ポイント  (6子コメント)

It's important to note that you need to repeat this process with all the parts of whatever you're trying to eat. For example, you might try this with the leaves of a plant and it turns out fine to eat.. but the body of the plant might still be poisonous... or the leaves and body are good but the roots are bad... or the seeds could be different, etc.

It's also an important note that cooked vs raw can also yield very different safety results.

Lastly, "reaction" can be classified as rash, tingling, burning, numbness... really anything other than "nothing".

[–]Voltrondemort 32ポイント33ポイント  (3子コメント)

Yew berries are a good example. You probably have a yew bush in your garden. The berries are technically edible (don't do it) but the seeds inside can kill you.

[–]nhingy 439ポイント440ポイント  (16子コメント)

with varying degrees of dead

This is my favorite comment so far. It's like you're actually a bit upset by the whole thing. It's true though. What the fuck we're they thinking?

[–]Tomuchan 267ポイント268ポイント  (12子コメント)

Probably "If I don't eat this I will die of starvation"

[–]JimJardashian 278ポイント279ポイント  (8子コメント)

I bet the first one they tried was the magic kind and after experiencing that you know they just had to try all the other ones.

[–]AquaSeerPerspectiva 253ポイント254ポイント  (23子コメント)

The fact that history, both past and present, is being recorded with every word we type. This means that, given that the internet doesn't become obsolete, it wouldn't be unlikely that your Great-Grandchild will be able to read about what you did today, from the filtered picture you took of your breakfast to what you were thinking at any given time O_O

[–]Andromeda321 976ポイント977ポイント  (140子コメント)

Quantum mechanics. I took two years of classes on the stuff (two semesters undergrad, two grad for my MSc) and at each stage only got more confident that no one really knows what's going on.

Even more crazy though: have you ever heard that quantum mechanics and gravity are not reconcilable? (It has to do with fundamentally different mathematics underpinning both.) Well everyone likes to hate on quantum mechanics, yet it has twice as much experimental evidence in its favor over gravity if you look at the literature.

Anyway, this line of thought always starts to weird me out, and this is probably why I never became a theoretical physicist.

[–]fareven 398ポイント399ポイント  (53子コメント)

It has to do with fundamentally different mathematics underpinning both.

A good way to remind people that mathematics is used to model our understanding of reality, it does not define reality.

[–]3_Mighty_Ninja_Ducks 2234ポイント2235ポイント  (162子コメント)

You're older than you've ever been, and now you're even older.

[–]AaronVsMusic 1780ポイント1781ポイント  (185子コメント)

Berenstain

[–]MasterN8ur 393ポイント394ポイント  (56子コメント)

I truly, and I mean TRULY, believe it used to be Berenstein Bears. Even my MOM, who is a functioning adult remembers it being spelt Berenstein, rather than Berenstain. I don't believe it to be out of error either. It had to have been changed. *Had * to have been.

[–]CharlesButtlet 491ポイント492ポイント  (77子コメント)

You are in a space that is essentially just a box and you are on a device talking to another person that's in another box who could be anywhere in the world.

[–]WillyTheBeachedWhale 189ポイント190ポイント  (58子コメント)

Well it is kinda just very organised frequencies sent to other servers. What i find mind boggling is how computers even work. Like how can i move an object around on my screen, and how does it render 3d games and stuff

[–]CowJam 70ポイント71ポイント  (12子コメント)

Everything is broken down into a long series of simple actions. Theres actions are performed ridiculously fast. Per clock cycle of a 3ghz machine light will travel a maximum of 10cm.

[–]PostVictorianMan 234ポイント235ポイント  (26子コメント)

Laughter and Crying.

How did humans developed this strange sound coupled with body movements to indicate we are happy, or we have heard something funny, or a general contentment (with a smile)? Or slightly different sound and body movements to indicate we are exact opposite or happy?

To put that in perspective, imagine a dog or cat or any animal laughing hysterically, it'd be the weirdest thing you could see. But why is it totally normal for humans?

[–]RuthlessSlimeStaff 170ポイント171ポイント  (11子コメント)

Also blind people make the same faces as seeing people do when they are happy or sad. It's not learned, it's always there.

[–]bomi3ster 78ポイント79ポイント  (15子コメント)

The circumstances that were needed for me to meet my wife.

  • I called in sick to work that day because I felt depressed
  • Walked the dog in the early morning, before it got too hot.
  • My wife happened to be at a nearby park babysitting
  • She was at the park early, before it got too hot
  • The kid she was babysitting was interested in my dog

All of that shit had to happen for me to meet my wife. And I can honestly say, that my life would be measurably worse right now had we never met. It really starts to fuck me up when I think about it. What if I just went to work? What if the kid was scared of my dog? What if she took the kid to any of the other parks she normally took him to?

I don't believe in God, not really. I think the world is a crazy, sometimes cruel and unusual place. I do not think everything happens for a reason, some shit just fucking sucks. But man-o-man, if I die, and find out there was a God, and it's all "Dude, think about the circumstances I had to create to get you to meet your wife! You think that shit was easy? Then you go on message boards saying you don't REALLY believe in me? Enjoy hell dummy!"

[–]seraph582 198ポイント199ポイント  (34子コメント)

The movie/series "Cars." What happened to the humans? Is Cars in a post apocalyptic future? Do their guts fall out if their doors open? If not, what the hell is in them that makes them work, and why would they have doors and a big hollow cavity in them anyway?

[–]Strayphoenix6 1500ポイント1501ポイント  (115子コメント)

Sex. "Let me jam my meat stick into your meat canal and I'll spray meat juice in it until a meat person comes out and decides to make more meat juice people." Dafuq.

[–]irritatedhomebuyer 59ポイント60ポイント  (5子コメント)

The overwhelming majority of adults on the planet have convinced another human to have sex with them. The morbidly obese ones. The ones with rotten teeth. The 40 year olds with second grade reading levels. The ones that believe the aliens are micro-chipping us and the government is controlled by reptile people. Many serials killers and pedophiles are married for God's sake.

This just blows my mind.