上位 200 件のコメント全て表示する 336

[–]CrimsonPig 1249ポイント1250ポイント  (83子コメント)

This makes my spaghetti straight.

[–]ismellurpoo 264ポイント265ポイント  (68子コメント)

Your spaghetti is making my sausage straight.

[–]connormantoast 173ポイント174ポイント  (58子コメント)

Mom's spaghetti

[–]TheForceiswithus 214ポイント215ポイント  (19子コメント)

[–]Brackner 28ポイント29ポイント  (13子コメント)

[–]XmasCarroll 20ポイント21ポイント  (9子コメント)

There's spaghetti on his spaghetti already.

[–]DrAminove 25ポイント26ポイント  (12子コメント)

Palms are sweaty

Knees weak, arms are broken

Need to fap already

Mom's spaghetti

[–]therealmc98 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

He's nervous but on the surface he looks calm and ready

[–]super_dave_cares 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

we're talking about food, right?

[–]fatogato 7ポイント8ポイント  (2子コメント)

Mom's spaghetti

Knees weak

Arms broken already

[–]sakurashinken 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

In 3 pieces
Feynman's
Experimentin already

[–]Wanderer_Takezo 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Need some sauce for dem meatballs

[–]pseudoromantic 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

want some sauce with that?

[–]stoopid_dummy 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

Something about meatballs...

[–]Wanderer_Takezo 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

try to fit two in your mouth at once

[–]montypissthon 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

This makes my ravioli straight.... wait

[–]skyflyandunderwood 283ポイント284ポイント  (26子コメント)

Sadly this wasn't actually said. On a another, Pitch Perfect was supposed to be a lot dirtier. They had to tone down and cut a lot of parts to keep the pg13 rating. I really wish it was R and they could go all out.

[–]TheFerricGenum 64ポイント65ポイント  (18子コメント)

Source for knowing it was supposed to be dirtier?

[–]Potato_Tots 54ポイント55ポイント  (2子コメント)

Not exactly what you wanted but the blooper reel definitely shows dirtier humor. Also, the bulk of the reel doesn't have actors corpsing or messing up, which makes it seem like these were scenes they reshot to dial down

https://youtu.be/Yt942W49Zhk

[–]tabasco_fiasco 108ポイント109ポイント  (12子コメント)

[–]Mikau_Luma 36ポイント37ポイント  (0子コメント)

Good source, checks out.

[–]Goblin-Dick-Smasher 9ポイント10ポイント  (10子コメント)

On a bizarre note this is a man I'd like to meet. He has a master's degree and taught special education. His mom was in the OSS during WW2 and his dad a physicist. The man is probably a fascinating guy to talk to if you can just forget how often you've seen his dick.

[–]dude_smell_my_finger 11ポイント12ポイント  (3子コメント)

how often the average redditor has seen his dick? pretty little unless they sought it out. He was famous in the 70s and 80s

[–]Apoolofachildstears 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I can't exactly speak for others habits, but he is featured in quite a few ads even still.

[–]OnBehalfOfThatGuy 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I worked on a tv show he was on; all I can remember is that he had a limp handshake lol

[–]posananer 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

the second one is a little dirtier ...

[–]akatherder 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I was gonna say... I know I've watched this before I let my daughter watch it (and she's seen it 400 times since then) and I sure as fuck don't remember this line.

[–]electrobombs 196ポイント197ポイント  (25子コメント)

insert joke about oiling up noodles so they dont stick together due to starch.

[–]hurtsdonut_ 70ポイント71ポイント  (7子コメント)

Yes. Lube is important.

[–]keinezwiebeln 34ポイント35ポイント  (6子コメント)

And he wears a jerky necklace made from his own leg flesh.

[–]fitzlurker 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fuckin' Lube, man. Dude's a badass.

[–]maliciousorstupid 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

well, that went meta quickly

[–]xsp4rrow 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Gross. I'll never look at jerky the same after reading that thread.

[–]sorry_ 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Uh sorry? What's this about leg jerky?

[–]KingPellinore 14ポイント15ポイント  (5子コメント)

But then the sauce doesn't stick, either!

[–]Xyranthis 8ポイント9ポイント  (4子コメント)

The trick is to only add like 1 TBsp per lb of pasta while it's still wet, then toss the crap out of it. When it dries a bit your sauce will stick just fine while keeping your noodles form molesting one another.

[–]KingPellinore 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

I just toss the noddles in sauce as soon as they're done. It's always worked great for me.

[–]MJZMan 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Just stir in a few tsp's of sauce after draining the pasta. Just enough to coat it.

[–]mybustersword 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I use a little bit of sauce to make them all nice and friendly with each other, but not too friendly

[–]ohnoao 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

insert joke about not going too long or noodles will get mushy

Also, I like to mix just a tiny bit of my sauce into the noodles so they don't stick. Just oil doesn't seem to work well for me.

[–]Turdlely 97ポイント98ポイント  (25子コメント)

I don't remember this scene, but I like it.

[–]Sinon22 152ポイント153ポイント  (16子コメント)

That's because those are not actually the lines from the movie... Original is something along the lines of "I think we're going to be really fast friends".

[–]DrAminove 186ポイント187ポイント  (12子コメント)

[–]broncoz33 21ポイント22ポイント  (6子コメント)

I prefer the one where the dudes are buddies and after the kiss the guys just like "aww ya knucklehead" and gives him a boop on the noggin.

[–]DrAminove 72ポイント73ポイント  (5子コメント)

[–]trpftw 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Man that was the manliest unemotional kiss ever. It's not gay if it's right before a match right?

[–]Flopsey 8ポイント9ポイント  (2子コメント)

This version loses the double entendre in the original.

[–]throwacloset 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

What about:

"Bill, I'm straight."

"But I just finished packing you some chocolates."

[–]obliviux_j 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Got a neck cramp trying to cover up my laughter at work.

[–]Half_Past_Five 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh so we're making shit up

Welcome to the Internet!

[–]Mutt1223 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah yeah, don't try to pretend like you don't have that entire movie memorized.

[–]falconbox 5ポイント6ポイント  (3子コメント)

What show/movie is this?

[–]SicilianEggplant 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

Pitch Perfect. Comes off as a standard chick-flick, but it was enjoyable. Kind of like (but not on the same level) as Mean Girls with hot Lindsey Lohan - actually a really funny movie despite it being advertised at the time as a generic 'blah' movie. Neither flicks seem to take themselves too seriously.

[–]Pluwo4 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Pitch Perfect, a movie about an a capella group, which actually surprised me with how fun it was.

[–]CommaHorror 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's from the unedited, version of lady and the, tramp.

[–]slowclapcitizenkane 25ポイント26ポイント  (0子コメント)

Go home Shatner, you're drunk.

[–]BostonStrongTX 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

ravioli ravioli give me the formuoli

[–]DOWNVOTES_SYNDROME 7ポイント8ポイント  (2子コメント)

THIS IS THE LOWEST QUALITY BULLSHIT I'VE EVER SEEN GET TO THE TOP OF R/ALL. GREAT JOB, SUMMERTIME ASSHOLES

-21 ON IMGUR. TOP POST ON REDDIT. GREAT JOB, PEOPLE. GREAT FUCKING JOB

[–]DenebVegaAltair 25ポイント26ポイント  (8子コメント)

Jokes on you, I'm fusilli.

[–]Fruhmann 24ポイント25ポイント  (10子コメント)

even wet spaghetti is straight. it's only after being subjected to intense heat and pressure does it bend.

[–]mrfl3tch3r 15ポイント16ポイント  (0子コメント)

You're not pressure cooking pasta, right?

[–]devyol14 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

peer pressure makes even mightiest noodle bend

[–]RiOrius 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I vaguely recall that I once forgot to turn the burner on and the spaghetti still ended up limp after just soaking for a while...

[–]xsp4rrow 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

mmm.. me gusta. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–]Redarax 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Just like your ankles when you hit the ice

[–]benotter 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've heard this before, but IMO with a better punchline;

"So is Spaghetti until it gets hot and wet..."

[–]RedAngellion 58ポイント59ポイント  (19子コメント)

God damn. I wish I was a chick.

Edit: Surely this post won't come back to haunt me in the future...

[–]flavorjunction 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm all breadstick right now.

[–]thespecialsauce 19ポイント20ポイント  (43子コメント)

Shouldn't it be harder for Chloe to get wet her wet if the other girl is straight?

[–]extremethrowaway 45ポイント46ポイント  (32子コメント)

Many women respond very strongly to lesbian and gay porn.

[–]TorinoCobra070 84ポイント85ポイント  (31子コメント)

From my experience:

some men like women

some men like men

some women like men

all women like women - even the straight ones

[–]drakeg4 14ポイント15ポイント  (2子コメント)

Mythbusters did an interesting gender study that relates to this. They had Carrie work as a barista and had her wear bra pads to increase her cup size. At DD size men tipped 30% higher and women tipped 40% higher

[–]thehorrorx2 51ポイント52ポイント  (11子コメント)

If we're doing gross generalizations, humans like pleasure.

[–]Bat_Mannington 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

Some men like sheep.

[–]TorinoCobra070 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well you're not wrong, unfortunately.

[–]mrNONDESCRIPT 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Only them from New Zealand, and their slow Welsh cousins.

[–]lopanthewise 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

I keep telling my wife this, but she doesn't believe me.

[–]xsp4rrow 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is true. As a straight female, can confirm.

[–]spience10 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

In the wise words of Mr. Yo Gotti:

"Err bitch gay, In the club dancing on her friend trying to pretend We ain't know you go both ways"

[–]Aldo_The_Apache_ 4ポイント5ポイント  (9子コメント)

Dumb water on her

[–]GerrardsClaw 61ポイント62ポイント  (6子コメント)

Stupid water

[–]benet116 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

If you put enough dumb stupid water on her she won't know what she is.

[–]tosil 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

drowning?unlesswaterboardingwhichfakesthebrain

[–]thespecialsauce 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

Reminds me of the time Kevin spit on a girl and told her to get out of those wet clothes

[–]mybustersword 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Did you just spit on my vagina

[–]Sammie_SU 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

This needs to be tested thoroughly in real life. You know, for science.

[–]robocockle 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm getting a raging clue...

[–]zederfjell 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Why the fuck does this picture is :
1 - The embodiment of JPEG
2 - HAVE BLACK ON HALF OF IT?

Joke's good but the rest suck.

[–]KravishIQIce 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

As great as the movie was, it needed more sexual tension. For my own science's sake.

[–]MrSriracha 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Just call me Al Dente

[–]akci 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoJw_hhnZCo

not quite what you're looking for, but close enough.

[–]radnus123 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Is it weird that this gave me a boner.

[–]Vehe_Mence 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Is the actual dialog or was the text just made up?

[–]AKSasquatch 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

my god, just ruined another pair of shorts.

[–]challenge4 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

My hair is straight until Iit gets wet.

[–]devyol14 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

my hair is greasy and covered in boloignaise

[–]SparkleFroFro93 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

God, if I were a girl, I would go gay for Anna Kendrick

[–]oskiwiiwii 1ポイント2ポイント  (5子コメント)

I take my spaghetti erect, thank you very much.

[–]mybustersword 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

I nibble at them when they are hard

[–]devyol14 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I grind them between my teeth when they're dry

[–]misterwallaby 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Who's arguing? Not me.

[–]HungShark 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is a double-edged sword.

[–]texinxin 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

As long as we are making up lines...

It should have read "So is spaghetti till its HOT and wet."

[–]vonKrieg 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I have some arguments against your croping and reposting.

[–]Palindromer101 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

This has been all over my facebook for 4 days and is only now reaching reddit? Fuck...

[–]Bellasonamy 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I always feel thats not right and would make someone uncomfortable if they were straight. Like If a guy said hes straight and a gay guy said that hed probably get punched honestly

[–]cinderxhella 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Turns out the alternate version of this movie could have somehow made the whole thing even better.

[–]ojzoh 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've always heard it as college girls being noodles, they're straight till they get hot and wet.

[–]darkclaw6722 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't know if this is true in real life, but why are straight women have lesbian experiences more commonly portrayed in media than straight men having gay experiences?