This is a copy of what we sent to /u/NoseFetish. We've tried to discuss for months, and we were silenced when we went public. So here it is, for everyone's viewing.

---

The following is a letter written jointly by the signed mods of creepypms.

There’s been a lot of tension here for a while, so it’s time to get this out in the open. This subreddit has become vastly different than what it used to be. We’ve discussed this amongst ourselves for a little bit, and most of us share this view. Things have changed drastically, and it seems to be worsening.

This subreddit was intended to be a safe space for all, regardless of gender, sexuality, race or ability. Unfortunately, despite our best efforts to keep the community this way, the moderation of the subreddit is not reflective of this attitude. Here are some of the issues:

• The female moderators are treated differently and with preference to the rest of the moderation team, even by the head moderator’s own admission. Their actions as moderators are under less scrutiny and they are seen as a ‘safe’ option when adding new mods. The head mod also admits he does not plan to add cisgendered male mods, even if they are good contributors to the community. It appears that the head moderator does not trust white, male, cis men and his actions towards the only other regularly active white-cis-male moderator on the team has been exclusionary - recent rule changes to ‘modiquette’ were even specifically targeted at this male moderator’s behaviour. We want a subreddit free from gender prejudice.

• There has also been a lot of disrespect toward our current and former trans* and non-binary moderators. Their chosen identities seem to be completely erased, instead being labeled as the genders they were assigned at birth. Not only is this downright disrespectful and belittling, it goes against what the sub was supposed to stand for, and is completely against the rules. When this blatant hypocrisy comes from the head moderator, it is extremely hard to ignore. This subreddit explicitly states that it has “zero tolerance for … sexism, transphobia”, and that “[j]erkish, judgmental, and exclusionary behavior is unwelcome”. However, there has been an increasing amount of sexism, transphobia, jerkish, judgemental, and exclusionary behavior as of late. One example of this was the blatant reference to former moderator a certain mod as a 'she' when they expressed many times that they would prefer to be referred to with 'they' pronouns - this has gone on for a period of at least 12 months. Furthermore, the singling out and faux-preferential treatment of a certain mod just goes to show that he’s not being seen as a ‘real’ man and therefore is held to a different standard to the cis male mods, which is beyond insulting to him. We want a subreddit free from disrespect to trans* and non-binary moderators and community members.

• We also find that the lack of communication from the head moderator, due in part to his many extended absences, to be unacceptable. We do not believe that everyone should always put the subreddit first in their day to day life, however we do believe a head moderator of a support subreddit should be there often enough to know what’s happening in the community and in the mod team. As such, the current frequency and duration of ‘dark periods’ are too extensive for the head moderator. It appears recently that the head moderator only pops in fleetingly to make rule changes or decisions that affect the whole sub, but he doesn’t take the time to listen to his mod team or take on any feedback. This has created an environment that appears to be closed to discussion and rather totalitarian. Our decisions as moderators have been overruled more and more without any discussion or acknowledgement, making us feel like children. We are adults who were personally chosen to entrust the care of the subreddit to; we are not children who need our hands held. Overturning bans to certain users behind our backs with zero discussion on the matter is condescending at best, and says that our judgement is incorrect. We want a subreddit where communication between the mod team and community members is regular and even sought after.

• Finally, we don’t believe that it makes sense that our head mod, a cis white male, who acts in the ways listed above, is in the best place to decide what is right for a feminist-friendly, trans-friendly and inclusive safe space community. He claims to be feminist, but won’t listen to his team, who are regularly affected by the issues our subreddit covers on a daily basis. Unfortunately, he seems to be blind to the fact that he is doing the very thing he hates by pushing his own (unequal, pro-woman, anti-man) agenda onto people who are better suited to even have a discussion about that agenda in the first place. We want a subreddit that has a zero tolerance for … sexism, transphobia, jerkish, judgmental, and exclusionary behavior - even from within the moderation team.

Know that this letter is a last resort, after weeks of trying to be open, polite, and discuss these issues together so we can find some kind of compromise. The head moderator has remained distant and even absent - choosing instead to pop back only when he wants to add new moderators, instead of first trying to find a resolution that works with the moderators he has left. After the resignation of 3 active and much loved moderators on his team in the last month, he has neglected to bring the issue to a head, despite the rest of the team seeking a discussion.