上位 200 件のコメント全て表示する 202

[–]masuk0Russia 246ポイント247ポイント  (8子コメント)

I thought that Britain is really out of character in this comic until the last panel.

[–]TheeloutKD every day[S] 105ポイント106ポイント  (2子コメント)

Some things just never change.

[–]Zrk2Canada can into relevant! 18ポイント19ポイント  (1子コメント)

This is the best comic I've seen in a while.

[–]tinfish 64ポイント65ポイント  (4子コメント)

Honestly, as an English man, its pretty much on the mark regards the attitudes of many. We have all kinds of dual attitudes to a lot of things, we're a funny bunch.

[–]ButterBalls1712United Kingdom 37ポイント38ポイント  (0子コメント)

I was getting quite worried there, "Britain trying to help foreigners?! Just wait until Nigel sees this!" but then normality was thankfully restored.

[–]ltsaGiraffeРеспублика Техас 18ポイント19ポイント  (1子コメント)

We have all kinds of dual attitudes to a lot of things, we're a funny bunch.

Like claiming to be English, yet having no flair...

[–]TheeloutKD every day[S] 96ポイント97ポイント  (6子コメント)

One order of "Better Life in a First World Nation" coming right up! Will that be pick-up or delivery?

[–]ThisprobablyanameQing Dynasty 71ポイント72ポイント  (1子コメント)

Scramble for Africa! Table one!

[–]TheMobsterLobsterIsle of DAAAAAAAAAYUM 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yes, I would like to order the scrambled Africa.

[–]AssimulatedHoly Terra! 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

They are even targeting none-First World Countries like PRC.

[–]BannedfromfunAlberta 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm honestly thanking god for that ocean. Means we get the best pick of Immigrants, IE those who can afford/survive to get here instead of closest (you're-a-peeing) country.

[–]SnizzleSam 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's like artificial selection

[–]RPM123MA's Thirteen 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I like this comic, especially the fact that it's isn't super well-drawn. We have a shortage of berndy comics here now.

[–]CaptainKiribatiKiribati 133ポイント134ポイント  (12子コメント)

Brilliant. But please keep your white Jesus. I prefer my heathen ooga booga gods

[–]CatchJackCossack Hetmanat 24ポイント25ポイント  (1子コメント)

Who doesn't? The heathen ooga booga gods have great tunes.

[–]sdfghsSouth Germany is best Germany 6ポイント7ポイント  (8子コメント)

Everybody knows that Jesus was black

[–]jxz107North Korea 29ポイント30ポイント  (3子コメント)

What are you talking about? Don't you know about Korean Jesus?

[–]fakeuserisrealUnited States 15ポイント16ポイント  (1子コメント)

Korean Jesus lifts.

[–]3nterShiftCzech Republic 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

How wouldn't he? He's a true son of Broseph.

[–]sdfghsSouth Germany is best Germany 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I spoke about the Rastafari

[–]ValleDaFightaDanskjävel in disguise 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

He was not black, nor white nor any other colour of many, Jesus our lord and saviour was scaly

[–]HobbycoderWest-Germany 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

The book of Mormon is pretty clear on the fact that Jesus was a caucasian American.

[–]sdfghsSouth Germany is best Germany 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

But the Rastafari says he's black

[–]tc1991Tyne And Wear 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Good news then, The Church of England is an open and inclusive church, actual belief in God is unnecessary, even for the top job. Membership is universally required, belief is not nor is attendance, unless one is attempting to get one's children into the local CoE school.

[–]DanezTHEManezNorthern England is best England! 47ポイント48ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ah yes. The cunning use of flags.

[–]ZombiedrdCherokee Nation 23ポイント24ポイント  (35子コメント)

As someone not in Europe, what constitutes the crisis? Too many?

[–]TheeloutKD every day[S] 57ポイント58ポイント  (1子コメント)

Some say too many, some say not enough. Others still say the right amount, but the wrong kinds. No matter what stance you take, someone will end up calling you either evil or stupid.

[–]KestyrFlorida 74ポイント75ポイント  (21子コメント)

So say these countries in Western Europe have 1/4th to 1/5th of the American population, but are currently receiving a number that's on par with the amount of immigrants that the USA processes each year. The USA has 320 million people and receives around 1 million immigrants each year "Officially" and it's already a strain on the infrastructure, Germany is a country of 80 million and is set to receive 400-500k third world immigrants this year.

It's way too fucking many, and another thing is that they're usually unskilled and uneducated men who simply won't have legitimate prospects beyond having to have the state support them.

[–]seewolfmdkEast Frisia 12ポイント13ポイント  (9子コメント)

To be fair, only a small amount will stay since many of them are from the Balkans. They can apply for asylum, but won't get it because their home countries are safe. Same goes for many Africans that aren't persecuted in their home countries.

[–]FuturalisGreater Netherlands 30ポイント31ポイント  (4子コメント)

Problem is, it can take ages before they've exhausted all legal options, and even then, they sometimes move on to the next European country. We still have to take care of those people during their stay here.

In fact, in the spirit of the Netherlands helping immigrants have a better life at home, there's a policy which gives immigrants money to start their own company at home if they chose to go home voluntarily before starting legal proceedings.

People were abusing the crap out of this, so we've had to start banning certain groups from this policy, so far we've banned immigrants from Georgia, Kosovo, Macedonia and Mongolia in general from using this policy.

To Europe, it seems that nearly every humane solution we come up with actually exacerbate the problem. And we don't want to close off our borders (we couldn't, anyway, since there are no prospects of a consistent EU-wide or even Schengen-wide immigrants policy).

[–]thedorkofyorkRemove Tyrants From Premises! 5ポイント6ポイント  (3子コメント)

Mongolia?! They traveled far.

[–]KanorsanityPUT TANK IN A MALL? 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

Winter makes rivers great highways

[–]FuturalisGreater Netherlands 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not in the Netherlands, though. We have a historic natural ice skating championship, the eleven cities tour, of over 200 km. The last time the ice was thick enough to safely organize a tour was in the 1990s...

[–]FuturalisGreater Netherlands 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Last year, we received around 320 immigrants from Mongolia, and no more than 15 were actually allowed to settle here. That's why we suspected most of them came here just for the 'found a start-up at home'-money.

[–]HobbycoderWest-Germany 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

if they are gipsys then their home countries are not safe for them.

[–]seewolfmdkEast Frisia 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

That would send quite a message if Germany would put Bulgaria or Romania on the "dangerous countries" list. Both being EU members.

[–]HobbycoderWest-Germany 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

There is no dangerous countries list. There is a safe countries list and they are not yet on it. EU has some pretty fucked up members. Hungary for example "We broke, let's kill Jews.".

[–]BrazulGermany 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

we dont deport many immigrants these days even if they would not be allowed to stay.

[–]Hodor_The_GreatTortilla avataan 9ポイント10ポイント  (5子コメント)

400k-500k third world immigrants? Or total immigrants? Because I don't think anti-immigration people have anything against Italian moving to Germany for work. And some news site talked about under a million illegal immigrants in whole Europe for last 12 months (well not every 3rd world immigrant is illegal, but I think a big part of them are).

[–]KestyrFlorida 24ポイント25ポイント  (4子コメント)

Third world immigrants.

That's the number of expected refugees/asylum seekers.

[–]Hodor_The_GreatTortilla avataan 5ポイント6ポイント  (3子コメント)

Well, that is quite a lot. Still managable number, if the burden is shared through the EU and slowing down the flow of illegals is made harder.

[–]KestyrFlorida 18ポイント19ポイント  (2子コメント)

if the burden is shared through the EU

Iunno, I believe in self determination and when you have there being shit like over 90% support in countries to take absolutely none of the migrants, it's at the point where you're saying fuck democracy and selling out your countrymen.

[–]Hodor_The_GreatTortilla avataan 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

Well, that's the problem. But EU is kinda meant to co-operate.

[–]KestyrFlorida 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

And while that may be, pissing off ten members so that three or four may be happy is not a definition of cooperation I would want to abide by.

[–]CultiststeveBritish Empire 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

Also, currently there is a huge camp of migrants in Calais trying to sneak into the UK.

[–]Shroobot3000Drunk and sad, the only acceptable Russian configuration 22ポイント23ポイント  (5子コメント)

Look up Calais migrants. The Brits are pretty angry that some random dudes from Somalia are living in a cushy hotel on tax money.

[–]CatchJackCossack Hetmanat 13ポイント14ポイント  (4子コメント)

http://www.theguardian.com/media/ng-interactive/2015/aug/10/migrant-life-in-calais-jungle-refugee-camp-a-photo-essay

First link I got, I assume that's not the side of the story you were referring to? :P

If you mean how immigrants in the UK are being put up in hotels instead of in the community, that's not the immigrants fault. That's a bad system performing as expected and the hate should focus on the system itself and not the people.

[–]roflocalypselolMURICA 19ポイント20ポイント  (0子コメント)

The guardian can't be trusted with EU and migration stories.

[–]Shroobot3000Drunk and sad, the only acceptable Russian configuration 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah in another article about Calais they mentioned what I said. Course either way it's a good example of the current immigrant crisis when riot police have to stop them.

[–]BananaBorkWales 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

If you mean how immigrants in the UK are being put up in hotels instead of in the community, that's not the immigrants fault

Though a lot of people believe that many of the migrants shouldn't be here in the first place.

[–]macutchiEngland. The North. HurraH 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

If you mean how immigrants in the UK are being put up in hotels instead of in the community, that's not the immigrants fault.

What!? We asked them to come? We asked them to pay criminal gangs thousands to try to cross Europe to specifically come here?

Shocking! we should just move all the people out of London and let them live there, rent free for as long as our money can support it!

And let me tell you, we we become bankrupt from doing this the immigrants will then return the favour and work for us to give us a luxurious life without the need for work. Wont they? And the cycle will continue forever.

[–]LigacoCzech Republic 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think it is their attitude. When Ukrainians immigrate in, we don't mind. They steal our construction jobs and everybody moves on. When Vietnamese come, they set up small shop, sell you cheap shit and everybody is happy. When Africans/Middle Eastern come, they get housed and fed, and then they fucking riot because they saw some immigrants in Calais on TV.

Maybe nobody told them how the procedure works and in that case, the fault is on our side. However, if they were told how it works, then we should just close the borders for two reasons. First, this isn't the classic "they took our jobs" like it was with the Greeks and Albanians, this is something parasitic. Second, they don't want to understand us and therefore it is not our duty to accommodate them.

[–]SrekcalpPromanian Brit 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Whenever the media tells us it's a crisis

[–]HarrisSinclairScotland 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

too many is when there are enough of them that they can have and maintain a closed community within the country and refuse to assimilate

[–]KestyrFlorida 59ポイント60ポイント  (43子コメント)

It's pretty funny to me how in a lot of migration threads, there's people who are against stopping the boats whose suggestions are instead "Western Nations should do something to directly make Africa a better place", motherfucker realize what you're suggesting.

[–]StugLifeNorth Rhine-Westphalia 77ポイント78ポイント  (9子コメント)

Germany is already trying by exporting weapons to those regions but it doesn't work as planned. .

[–]joejoedawithSpanish Empire 27ポイント28ポイント  (0子コメント)

Krupp Kannone Best Kannone!

[–]New_KatipunanPhilippines 24ポイント25ポイント  (3子コメント)

Good guy Germany!

[–]aLittleCreepyDenmark 17ポイント18ポイント  (2子コメント)

Hey, Africa is pretty unsafe... And America taught me weapons produce safety.

[–]New_KatipunanPhilippines 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

Germany is just helping African countries exercise their Second Amendment rights. Such a good guy.

[–]LataseLower Saxony 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I would even go so far as saying we protect their second armament rights.

[–]JivlainMangoes go well with other mangoes. 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

It was a good try though.

[–]SpahsgonnaSpahFormer Canuck 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

They're going to have to hunt somehow.

[–]HobbycoderWest-Germany 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hunt lions with a Panzerfaust.

[–]AusCroAustralia 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

[–]john_andrew_smith101MURICA 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Congo actually wants the Belgians back? They probably could use an extra hand.

[–]LigacoCzech Republic 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Colonialism was "gib stuff and die", doing something directly in Africa to make it a better place seems to be, in my opinion, something like "Keep everything you have, here is some more and fuck off, we are full".

[–]lalafiedپاکستان زندہ باد 25ポイント26ポイント  (29子コメント)

The only people who immigrate are cowards who do not have enough spine to work hard and make their own country a better place.

[–]KestyrFlorida 38ポイント39ポイント  (11子コメント)

I agree. There's been a lot of migrations from Kosovo and Albania especially and it gets silly to the point where it's like, "Oh yes we fought the war and are extremely nationalistic, but fuck lets just leave now, nation building is hard."

If Western Europeans could all just jump ship after WW2 devastated and destroyed their countries rather than rebuilding them, where would these countries be now?

[–]seewolfmdkEast Frisia 69ポイント70ポイント  (0子コメント)

Still in Western Europe, I assume.

[–]CatchJackCossack Hetmanat 14ポイント15ポイント  (6子コメント)

If Western Europeans could all just jump ship after WW2 devastated and destroyed their countries

coughMarshall Plancough

[–]AusCroAustralia 17ポイント18ポイント  (3子コメント)

The African countries have had arguably more aid than European countries from the martial plan. At one point, 20% of tanzinian gdp was from foreign aid

[–]PrimarycoreGlorious motherball 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

And apparently they lose more than their total aid in tax evasion.

[–]StrangeSemiticLatinThe Centre of the Universe 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

But none of those European countries had the piss-poor infrastructure of the sub-Saharan African countries, a lot of the Africans had to basically start from zero with new borders, starting national ideas with no national identities and having to apply new systems. The African situation is much much more complicated, and no one gives an actual shit to actually examine it.

Some of the most successful post-colonial basically modern countries outside the New World were Saddam Iraq, North Africa and some of the Gulf states (Oman always had a degree of independence and fares by far the best). Even from Latin America, forming new countries out of nothing (Colombia, Venezuela, Central America) is damn fucking hard, and that's hoping your leaders don't turn out to be corrupt inept bastards (the Mexican case) or corrupt badly educated bastards (a lot of African countries, the way Ghaddafi ruined Libya). The countries with the harshest histories in Europe (the ex-Yugoslavs, the abomination that is Moldova, Greece with military dictatorship, brutal World War 2 occupation, brutal civil war, the ex-European North Korea Albania, Ukraine) are also the messiest, while those with comfy histories like the Scandinavian (minus Norway, which became rich thanks to fuckton of oil and good government which is had a lot of time to develop) countries do exceedingly well with mostly comfy modern histories, while a country like Mexico has an excruciatingly brutal history, a war for independence fraught with infighting and a completely destroyed infrastructure, French attempt at colonizing them, the USA stealing half the nation and civil wars, and getting hit very hard by global economic crisis.

EDIT: The only reason Malta is not in such shit is because of our size and population. Rival political leaders could have gone to the same barbershop and definitely to the same university. And we still had a very troublesome period where government collapsed, some violence appeared and half of the Maltese people live in Canada, Australia or the UK. Now imagine you are Congo, which is massive with a huge amount of land separating people and had the Belgians, or Nigeria, with the north having little connection to the south, or South Africa, Ethiopia or Burma/Myammar, with a history of wars and hatreds and supremacy united only by empire, and Ethiopia having the misfortune of having the craziest communists on the continent.

EDIT Numru Tnejn: Malta was rather well treated by the British Empire in relative to others (not counting colonies formed by Brits moving there and being seen as citizens, like Canada, the US, New Zealand or Australia), meaning that when there was no wars Malta could benefit from (GLORY TO WORLD WAR 1 BEST TIME IN MALTA'S LIFE), we were stuck in a position of almost-total poverty and close to starvation. This is one of the best treated. Imagine now you are Nigeria.

[–]Logitech0Italy 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

And Kenya have lost about the 99% of their country budget.

[–]DelheruFinland 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not all countries got this (it was offered, but Soviet got all jealous about it and hinted at trouble if we accepted it).

[–]UNSKIALzUnited Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Way more money has gone to Africa and the Middle-East though. It's all about being practical and, you know, not being totally corrupt.

[–]Feurisson 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

A lot of Europeans did actually migrate to north America and Australia. Australia went from having almost no south Europeans to Italian and Greek being two of the most common non-English languages, and still are to this day.

[–]PrimarycoreGlorious motherball 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

In the United States?

[–]SunshineInaBag1Cornwall (Best Celtic) 25ポイント26ポイント  (4子コメント)

Goddamn cowardly refugee children, Amirite?

[–]ClemClem510Normandy 13ポイント14ポイント  (3子コメント)

Fucking lazy people not wanting to work towards improving their country while being persecuted for their religion, huh ?

[–]HobbycoderWest-Germany 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

All those sinti and roma should just stay at home and improve their country by getting murdered, amirite? /s

[–]SunshineInaBag1Cornwall (Best Celtic) 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Woah now Niemcy, let's not have a repeat yeah?

[–]sandhoang123Vietnam 3ポイント4ポイント  (7子コメント)

What about contract worker, i mean like Indian and Pakistanis in Qatar or middle east building infrastructure for event or host country ?

[–]lalafiedپاکستان زندہ باد 6ポイント7ポイント  (6子コメント)

Contract workers still retain their citizenship. So they return after they're done working.

[–]sandhoang123Vietnam 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

it is also form of immigration lol

[–]lalafiedپاکستان زندہ باد 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

No its not. It's temporary residence, and its legal.

Immigration is when people don't go back and apply for the citizenship of the country they were working in.

[–]StuhlBest Germany 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

So they return after they're done working.

Citation needed.

[–]lalafiedپاکستان زندہ باد 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

The countries in the middle east do not allow foreigners to gain naturalized citizenship.

So, where else are they gonna go if not return.

[–]LigacoCzech Republic 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

That is a class A bullshit.

[–]CosmicChopsticksUnited Kingdom 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

If they put the same amount of effort into fixing their own country that they do trying to get into Britain from France, they wouldn't need to emigrate.

[–]Buxton_WaterUnited Kingdom 40ポイント41ポイント  (20子コメント)

Funny thing is, it would probably work.

[–]likferdViking 52ポイント53ポイント  (19子コメント)

It wouldn't only work, it would work great! I've been think about this system for a while. Basically we would take the 50 or so most well off countries in the UN, and give them an African colony each, roughly divided up by size and how expensive it would be to fix.

Then we have like a 30 year plan, with leader boards on GDP growth, increase in life expectancy, infrastructure etc. Each new year, we have a big summary, televised, like a grand eurovision finale.

Of course, to deter any cheating, no war is allowed for this 30 year period, enforced by all participants.

It would be so great!

[–]LampjawNorth Carolina 14ポイント15ポイント  (3子コメント)

I call South Africa.

[–]brain4breakfastGan Yam 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

Congratulations, you have AIDS.

[–]SAWHORSEFISHTAPE 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Pretty sure since we are the richest and largest country, we will get Nigeria since it is the most populous and most expensive to fix. SA would be fine if we got rid of their corrupt government and stopped provoking the whites to leave. They have lots of resources and infrastructure and the best universities in Africa.

[–]QMarioReformed Pariah State 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeaaaah boii. Still, wouldn't mind being adopted by ol' Papa Britain again.

[–]macutchiEngland. The North. HurraH 11ポイント12ポイント  (2子コメント)

The top 3 countries every 30 years gain full and unconditional independence and an invitation to join the UN and NATO.

I like it a lot!

[–]lynnangelCascadia 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

What if the top 3 still suck? What if the first top 3 had only improved slightly and quickly fail without the guidance of their foster parent. What if the last 3 are still war torn hell?

[–]macutchiEngland. The North. HurraH 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I prefer optimism.

Gas chambers for all and resettlement by white, northern europeans just like isreal. That worked didn't it?

[–]StuhlBest Germany 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Dibs on Malle, Namibia and Poland!

Austria can have the rest of Spain and Böhmen back.

[–]GramatikeCCCP 2ポイント3ポイント  (6子コメント)

Say this does happen. What would stop the European countries from exploiting the African countries for profit rather than improving infrastructure and elevating the quality of life?

[–]likferdViking 8ポイント9ポイント  (3子コメント)

Well.. shame by losing? I don't know. Competition is a strong motivator. There could of course be a system where some losers each year gets sent home, and a new country gets the chance to run the colony.

Can't you picture it?

"And now, in hard work since he was sent home last year, Sweden get's yet another chance! A spectator favorite, Sweden was unlucky with floods and famine, but this year he comes better prepared! His specialty this season is GMO's, a brand new railway and solar panels for all!"

[–]Cmndr_DukeUnited Kingdom 12ポイント13ポイント  (1子コメント)

A gameshow with colonies.

I like it.

[–]pipiskaRussian expat in the UK 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

A fucking Eurovision with colonies.

[–]GramatikeCCCP 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I understand that the 30 years is so that the European countries would have time to fix the problems, but I also feel like if the participants of this game are reevaluated once every 30 years that means that a country could really mess up a country in that time period. Also what makes you think the African countries themselves would want to participate? I bet the local population would definitely not want to be part of this. If the goal of the game is to improve the quality of life for African countries, instead of setting up entire colonies wouldn't it be more ethical to instead send support in the form of funding and let the local population decide how to use the money? Sure, it would be extremely prone to corruption but "competition is a strong motivator" right? Also in your system the grading system is based on the GDP. If that is the case then I feel like the European countries would only improve the parts of the country that increase GDP instead of the actual quality of life. On top of that I bet the GDP numbers would be skewed a little bit.

TL;DR: there are way too many problems with this current gameshow approach to colonization that it wouldn't be ethical or even beneficial to African countries.

[–]Arctic_Fax 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I think that at the end of the 30 years they have to give everyone in their African country a work visa for there own country but can also establish free trade with them. If they do a good job then not many people will take the visa and they can successfully utilise the free trade with their African country, if they fuck up then they can still use the free trade but its worthless because almost everyone of working age in that country will head to Europe.

It can't fail.

[–]GramatikeCCCP 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

If they would have to give every single citizen of the African country a work visa then what is the incentive for Europeans to fix the African country in the first place? The entire reason European countries would go along with this is to get Africans out of their countries and back to there homelands. When you give the all the citizens of the African country a work visa just because they were a colony (regardless of how well the European country did at fixing said colony) you will encourage even more Africans to come over the border (but now its legally). And let's face it, very few Africans would actually stay in their country if they had a free one-way ticket into Europe (no matter how well the colony is fixed).

No European country would accept the terms of giving all the citizens of the African colony a work visa just because they were a colony. There has to be a greater incentive for the countries to spend resources and 30 years fixing an African country with the hopes that people will stay there.

[–]DavidRoymanIreland 2ポイント3ポイント  (3子コメント)

It would be History repeating itself: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berlin_Conference

[–]HobbycoderWest-Germany 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

Does this mean we can get Bismarck back? Neat.

[–]tebeeof Free and of Hanse 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Finally a Chancellor-candidate for the SPD.

[–]HobbycoderWest-Germany 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

considering his past hate for the spd and the Sozialistengesetz, I doubt it. Although an arch-conservative anti-socialist as candidate would fit for the SPD.

[–]stewmbertoVirginia 17ポイント18ポイント  (0子コメント)

I make knife crime for Allah

this is bad

Maybe the funniest polandball dialogue I've ever seen

[–]hello-719Ohio 25ポイント26ポイント  (13子コメント)

Well, it would be kinda nice if first-world countries could help manage the African countries, without treating the natives like shit.

[–]KnotPtellingKingdom of Canadia 59ポイント60ポイント  (12子コメント)

Nah lets just take their shit instead

[–]Dunk-Master-FlexNova Scotia 28ポイント29ポイント  (4子コメント)

Worked in the past, that's how you become a first world country. You have to steal the Natives shit first, then treat them like shit.

[–]RecQuery 9ポイント10ポイント  (3子コメント)

It's not like they built a lot of infrastructure and left it to the natives or anything.

From a modern perspective colonialism is regrettable but you don't see Italy constantly flagellating themselves and apologising for what the Romans did.

[–]KnotPtellingKingdom of Canadia 22ポイント23ポイント  (2子コメント)

Poland should be grateful for all USSR infrastructure and forgib all Soviet crimes!

Also, Italy isn't exactly the successor to the Roman Empire, even Greece has a stronger claim (gib copyright monies for denbt payments) because of the Eastern Empire and stuff.

But yeah you have a point.

[–]Taberkacnkle1Toronto only relevant part of Canada 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Poland doesnt have to be grateful they just cant deny that the USSR built all the roads and hospitals

[–]GoyimsAmerican Soviet Socialist Republic 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

not sure what you mean by crimes

[–]hello-719Ohio 6ポイント7ポイント  (5子コメント)

Well see, if we don't treat them like shit, they'll stay happy and not rebellious.

[–]thedorkofyorkRemove Tyrants From Premises! 13ポイント14ポイント  (3子コメント)

Too late, already massacred natives for 4 military power.

[–]piratesasUnited Provinces 10ポイント11ポイント  (2子コメント)

"culture conversion"

[–]KnotPtellingKingdom of Canadia 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

They took religious ideas too, religion sure is useful for "culture conversions".

But seriously, I think it's just a cultural genocide and not a physical one, base tax/development stays the same before, during, and after the "conversion"

[–]thedorkofyorkRemove Tyrants From Premises! 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Be careful now, I genocide the stroopwafel most often out of any group in the game. The just keep revolting against my firm baguette!

[–]Notalent13 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

Nah, always someone to oppress them, its either us or one of them, best it be us.

[–]HobbycoderWest-Germany 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

and send our trash their way.

Also, oil is becoming less and less. What should we put in our cars now? hmmmm.... How about food? But not our food, their food! Was also their oil after all.

[–]TheGreatDutchmanGreater Netherlands 26ポイント27ポイント  (3子コメント)

Wait, we can colonize again? Time to conquer Indonesië, Suriname and Zuid-Afrika! 1949 en 1975 nooit vergeten!

[–]ferngutsNew Scotland is of best Scotland 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Is Canada allowed to take part this time around? We've had our eyes on Alaska for quite a while now.

[–]Sporkinat0rMichigan 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's fine, you guys can be East Alaska

[–]this_userFree and Hanseatic City of Hamburg 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

We just need to keep Belgium away from Africa this time.

[–]New_KatipunanPhilippines 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sierra Leone is going, "Well, there's always a second time."

[–]EventtHello :) 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

I love what you did with the UK in this comic! The fourth panel is hilarious :D

[–]lietuvis10LTUCan into EU while still can into East Europe 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

The punchline is awesome. Noice.

[–]doktor_theKingdom of Travancore 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

OP tell me is not akhand India in the second panel. Yuo insult national flag. Prepare uranus, we raech mars already. Is of raep nao.

[–]AmannelleKentucky 6ポイント7ポイント  (3子コメント)

To be fair, many of Britain's colonies ended up being the most successful places on the planet, sooooo....

edit: For example, 5 of the 6 top countries were colonized

[–]HarrisSinclairScotland 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

but also most of those places had their native polulations destroyed sooooooo....

[–]AmannelleKentucky 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hmmm. Good point. So is the secret to forcibly destroy all the populations that aren't British in origin? Maybe we found the key to world peace. #HitlerDidNothingWrongMountainDew

[–]BrownwingUnited Kingdom 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

but they were evidently better off because of it though sooooooo....

[–]WDeySpain 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Britain sure loves talking.

[–]uselessDMBaden 4ポイント5ポイント  (5子コメント)

Colonisation is like Dictatorship. If done well, it is a great solution, but in reality it will always turn into hell.

[–]TheeloutKD every day[S] 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

What a very Aristotlean thing to say.

[–]uselessDMBaden 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

I seem probably vaguely smart on the internet. Boy, what a day!

[–]Feurisson 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

If done well

When has this ever happened that didn't involve dissolving local identity and languages and/or killing and exploiting large numbers of locals?

[–]uselessDMBaden 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Never of course, what I meant was, that it would work in an ideal world (like a dictatorship, communism or plugging the usb plug in right the first time).

[–]BananaBorkWales 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

dissolving local identity and languages

This alone isn't necessarily a bad thing. Are the Cornish worse-off now they speak English instead of Cornish? I think if anything they are better off.

[–]PartisanintrainingUnited States 5ポイント6ポイント  (12子コメント)

Now the US needs to annex the rest of Mexico and our immigration problems will be over *mostly

[–]unquietwikiCalifornia 9ポイント10ポイント  (10子コメント)

Problem isn't Mexico: problem is Guatemala and El Salvador destabilized by prior coups & repatriated gang members. They come up through Mexico to get away from that mess.

Mexico invade them maybe?

[–]rainbowrooooadLand of Sunshine, Feminist Rallies, and In n' Out 8ポイント9ポイント  (9子コメント)

Mexico can annex them, let them have their fun, and we annex them in the friendliest way possible; by forming the North American Union.

[–]TheGentlemanlyManI SAY WOT WOT, TEA CHAP?[🍰] 12ポイント13ポイント  (6子コメント)

Cough Canada is part of the British Commonwealth cough

[–]ClockworkChristmasCascadia 3ポイント4ポイント  (5子コメント)

Fuck your commiewealth.

[–]TheGentlemanlyManI SAY WOT WOT, TEA CHAP?[🍰] 15ポイント16ポイント  (4子コメント)

Yeah? Want us to burn down your fucking white house again?

The British are COMING bitch

[–]AlexiosAlexandorGermany 3ポイント4ポイント  (3子コメント)

Happy Cake Day! But please, no burning of Houses...

[–]TheGentlemanlyManI SAY WOT WOT, TEA CHAP?[🍰] 6ポイント7ポイント  (2子コメント)

Thank you! The second British empire will appreciate this. Duly noted.

[–]AlexiosAlexandorGermany 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

The Second allready? A little tip, If some crazy Irish guy shows up who wants to build a third one, and insists on a corridor between the UK and Gibraltar, dont listen to him.

[–]I_FIST_CAMELSScotland 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It'd actually be the third one.

[–]unquietwikiCalifornia 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

At that point, does Alex Jones and co explode their heads? Or attempt to carve out some backwoods empire in revolt? :p

[–]CatchJackCossack Hetmanat 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Texas, New Mexico, Arizona... You guys tried that on a smaller scale already and now people dislike the amount of Spanish speakers. Taking Florida didn't help matters either, and taking West Florida after they declared independence from Spain was just rude.

If the USA annexed the rest of Mexico then the evangalicals head's would explode in holy rage. :P

[–]dwwojcikTANKS FOR SALE 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

If only the European colonial overlords had developed their new lands, instead of exploiting it for a cheap buck. They would have made a lot more money in the long run by taxing the massive African middle class. They might even still own the land today.

[–]YahkshireEeh bah gum 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

As a Brit, I support this idea.

It would mean we'd get more desperately needed land for a start.

[–]Borkton 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Surprise empire time, old chap!

[–]newusername_____I'm a Terran 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Reminds me of that comic where European countries ask UN to remake 1930s Africa

[–]KiernanChristCarolingian Empire 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, that works. Great work!

[–]samurl132Antarctica 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

come to me;)

[–]Eesti_StronkEstonia 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I say good show wot wot! Dapper

[–]Jswizzy84 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

The white man's burden

[–]HobbycoderWest-Germany 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

who is that country working? I do not recognize the flag.

[–]TheeloutKD every day[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

south sudan

[–]Fig_Newton_Pennsylvania 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Imperialism 2: Electric Boogaloo

[–]FVBLTAntisymmetric Federosovereign Apologist 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

A++ fantastic

[–]dnlhlBritain Working Class 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I herd u liek UKIPs

[–]SrekcalpPromanian Brit 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

We invade their countries and justify it by saying that our way of life is better, then boggle at the idea they might think living here is great.

Frankie Boyle

[–]Cmndr_DukeUnited Kingdom 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

To be fair they actually do think living here is great ,for at least better otherwise they would sod off.

Rule Britannia

[–]SrekcalpPromanian Brit 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

They do, conversely we have a surplus of twats. I think some sort of swap system should be introduced.

[–]roflocalypselolMURICA 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, that would do it.

[–]gaztelu_leherketagib tae? 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Those lazy Motswana immigrants?

[–]andnowforme0Texas 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Isn't colonization how Africa got that way in the first place?

[–]Kellermann 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Someone took my advice seriously

[–]xcdc802 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm all for it

[–]eforce2United Kingdom 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

We could accommodate them if we weren't bogged down by all the EU regulation/socialism.

[–]EternalExistenceIndia 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Among the sentiments expressed in this thread, of particular note is the belief that these poverty stricken, underdeveloped and politically destabilized economies could be fixed instantly by European management.

Because the developed world never went through a period of low human development and economic output followed by industrialization, right guys?

[–]YahkshireEeh bah gum 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

Because the developed world never went through a period of low human development and economic output followed by industrialization, right guys?

That's the same as saying that an adult shouldn't adopt a baby, because they were also a baby too at one time.

[–]EternalExistenceIndia 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

...I can't say I understand how the two scenarios are even remotely equivalent or how that analogy serves the place of an argument.

My point is that all countries go through stages of political, social and economic development. And are forced to deal with a spectrum of issues that may be entirely unique to their culture, geographic region, demography, history, neighboring states and so on.

Furthermore, it is rather obvious that no government in existence can be trusted to not act in the self-interest of its electorate. Even a hypothetical benevolent colonial government would violate the so-called democratic principles and self-determination that advocates against immigration claim to champion, besides struggling to understand the nuances of governing a foreign nation.