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[–]lie4karma[🍰] 1763ポイント1764ポイント  (370子コメント)

I dont believe her parents are muggles, because that ass is MAGIC!

[–]Slattz 761ポイント762ポイント  (349子コメント)

If JK Rowling wanted to write another Hogwarts book, I would love to hear Hermione's story starting with her parents point of view, then her's. Books based on secondary characters can be equally good as the original. I'm thinking of 'Ender's Shadow'.

[–]EditorialComplex 3090ポイント3091ポイント  (232子コメント)

Hermione Granger and Why Doesn't Anyone Read Their Textbooks
Hermione Granger and Seriously Can't Anyone Else Do Basic Research
Hermione Granger and Exceptional Time Management Skills
Hermione Granger and That Super Hot Bulgarian Dude
Hermione Granger and My Idiot Friend Happens to be Better Than Me at Something
Hermione Granger and My Idiot Friend Gets Schoolwork Advice from a Really Awful Source
Hermione Granger and For Real Would Any of this Ever Get Done Without Me

[–]glglglglgl 670ポイント671ポイント  (153子コメント)

I love that these are all actually the plots

[–]SUSAN_IS_A_BITCH 1521ポイント1522ポイント  (150子コメント)

It gets worse.

Ronald Weasley and Guys I Got Knocked Out by a Chess Piece

Ronald Weasley and Guys I Broke My Wand

Ronald Weasley and Guys I Broke My Leg

Ronald Weasley and Guys I Had a Temper Tantrum Because My Best Friend Was Entered Into a Deadly Tournament by a Psychopath and He Didn't Tell Me

Ronald Weasley and Guys I Literally Became Retarded

Ronald Weasley and Guys I Kissed a Girl

Ronald Weasley and Guys I Kissed a Hotter Girl

But Ron does have some great moments. It's too bad the movies gave them to Hermione.

[–]guinness_blaine 563ポイント564ポイント  (78子コメント)

Aww, they didn't throw in a "Ronald Weasley and Guys I Can Sports Too"

[–]______DEADPOOL______ 416ポイント417ポイント  (75子コメント)

Sure beats "Severus Snape and I'm gonna be brooding this whole book."

[–]EditorialComplex 417ポイント418ポイント  (66子コメント)

"Parts 1 through 7"

[–]______DEADPOOL______ 223ポイント224ポイント  (65子コメント)

To be fair, Part 7 was "Severus Snape and I'm gonna get killed at the beginning of this book and you're going to regret hating me the whole time I'm brooding"

[–]Antonio_Browns_Smile 39ポイント40ポイント  (1子コメント)

He doesn't die until towards the very end of the book though. Like the last 100 pages.

[–]madmaxturbator 64ポイント65ポイント  (46子コメント)

I didn't regret hating snape for even one single second. I still think he's a jerk.

He routinely derides and abuses harry ... who had absolutely NOTHING to do with snape's problems in life.

I appreciate the good things snape did, but honestly how he behaved with harry was inexcusable. he routinely made harry's life absolutely miserable. keep in mind, harry was an innocent orphan with abusive step-parents, thrust into a life that he didn't want at all.

knowing that background, snape still was an ass to harry.

[–]Zifnab25 8ポイント9ポイント  (6子コメント)

"Aw! Turns out Severus Snape was really a nice guy the whole time!"

"Then why did he behave like a cantankerous asshole the entire series?"

"Because... he was... undercover?"

[–]EditorialComplex 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's completely wrong though.

He totally didn't get killed until after the midpoint.

[–]Five_Two_Zero 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Doesn't he get killed at the END of part 7? It was Moody who was killed at the beginning

[–]themeatbridge 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

Was the Snape "twist" really all that unexpected?

[–]raznog 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Didn’t that happen near the very end?

[–]madmaxturbator 85ポイント86ポイント  (2子コメント)

or how about

Severus Snape and I'm going to be a huge cunt to this kid because this kid's dad was a dick to me, and I never got to hook up with this kid's mom and I feel guilty for some of the bad stuff I've done and I'm just going to blame this kid for everything bad that's happened to me.

[–]Well_you_see 22ポイント23ポイント  (0子コメント)

There's a Harry Potter fanfic that covers snape's birth to death, it's really good and changed how I see snape. It's called A Difference In The Family: The Snape Chronicles. It fits in with canon too, makes perfect sense.

[–]jshap82 [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

For all of those into Snape and Harry as intelligent, deep characters and who are interested in reading more HP stuff geared towards a more mature audience, go Google "Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality" It's an incredibly well done and interesting 100+ chapter fan novel. I actually liked it better than the original books!

[–]rammingparu2 38ポイント39ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ronald Weasley And Guys My Best Friend is Doing my Sister

[–]sthomps300064143 126ポイント127ポイント  (32子コメント)

Book Ron is hilarious. Movie Ron (and Ginny) are both kind of pathetic.

[–]toolatealreadyfapped 127ポイント128ポイント  (22子コメント)

I had a crush on book Ginny. Movie Ginny put a quick end to that. The single dullest character in the franchise.

[–]I_eat_satans_ass 51ポイント52ポイント  (15子コメント)

Her personality was horrible but I think she was hot.

[–]TheHighTech2013 13ポイント14ポイント  (1子コメント)

Her face brothers me on such a visceral level idk what it is.

[–]Phridgey 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Her face brothers me on such a visceral level idk what it is.

I think you hit the nail on the head right there.

[–]Jackhoppo 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

well yeah, in the first few atleast

[–]gratefulstringcheese 4ポイント5ポイント  (3子コメント)

I felt the same way. And I didn't really like book Hermione but of course had a crush on movie Hermione.

[–]toolatealreadyfapped 8ポイント9ポイント  (2子コメント)

Good call. Book Hermione was snotty and socially awkward.

[–]Insanelopez 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Movie Hermione was snotty and socially awkward too, for the first few movies. Then she evolved into her final form and was just super hot.

[–]Confusedandlost123 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I too had a total crush on book Ginny. No idea why they took so much out of her for the movies.

All the people were shipping Harry-Hermione, and I was shipping Harry-Ginny from book 3

[–]Antonio_Browns_Smile 47ポイント48ポイント  (4子コメント)

Book Ginny was a badass. Master of the bat-bogey hex!

[–]HappyMeerkat 3ポイント4ポイント  (3子コメント)

stuff like this makes me realise i really need to read the books again,

[–]Antonio_Browns_Smile 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

Don't forget she also fumigated Hogwarts in the 5th book! lol.

[–]HappyMeerkat 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

see i don't remember this, its been 8 years since i last read any Harry Potter books properly (Deathly Hallows) and i read the Philosophers Stone around 1999-2000 and read them occasionally between. i think i'm gonna have to mix learning German and reading Harry Potter. i'm not good enough to read the book in German but i can spend some of the German learning time to reading the books!

[–]SUSAN_IS_A_BITCH 8ポイント9ポイント  (3子コメント)

Yeahhh, Bonnie Wright was... not right.

Rupert Grint is a great actor though. But Kloves, the screenwriter, loved Hermione.

[–]sthomps300064143 8ポイント9ポイント  (2子コメント)

Bonnie is a babe though!

[–]Stormsoul22 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

She's a fine actress. Just not enough character on screen.

[–]walla_walla_rhubarb 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

To be fair, there wasn't much for her to do in the movies after she became a love interest.

[–]HeartDenko 39ポイント40ポイント  (1子コメント)

Movie Ron really has done a number on people, hasn't he? How about this:

Ron Weasley and the Masterstroke Sacrifice Play

Ron Weasley Finds the Chamber of Secrets (and how to open it)

Ron Weasley and Guys I Broke My Leg, but I'm Still Standing Up to this Murderer

Ron Weasley and Oi, Hands Off Me Bird Ya Bloody Bulgarian Bellend

Ron Weasley, Prefect, Quidditch Champion, King

Ron Weasley Got a Girlfriend

Ron Weasley Learns His Friends Ain't Shit Without Him (And destroys 2 Horcruxes)

[–]scottyLogJobs 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

You forgot:

"Ronald Weasley and I vomited a slug"

[–]EnlightenedNarwhal 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

Now someone needs to make some up for ol' Harry.

[–]Oklahom0 [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone for Sorcerers.

Harry Potter and Hiss Hiss Motherfucker.

Harry Potter and My Father and His Friends are Furries.

Harry Potter and He's Coming Back.

Harry Potter and the Year of PTSD and Fuck the Government.

Harry Potter and the Year I Lose Another Father Figure Again.

Harry Potter and the Year of Camping Characters and Crying Readers.

[–]FallenAngelII 42ポイント43ポイント  (7子コメント)

More like:

  • Ronald Weasley and the One Time I Managed to Help Win the Inter-House Cup

  • Ronald Weasley and the One Time My Wand Broke

  • Ronald Weasley and the One Time I Was a Bit Famous for No Reason

  • Ronald Weasley and That One Time I Acted Like a Complete Ass to Harry Potter and Hermione Granger For No Reason

  • Ronald Weasley and That One Time I Was Barely There

  • Ronald Weasley and That One Time I Acted Like a Complete Ass to Everyone For No Reason, Especially Harry Potter and Hermione Granger

  • Ronald Weasley and That One Time I Did What Voldemort Never Managed to Do: Break Harry Potter's Spirit and Have Him Accept Death Instead of Fighting Because He Thought It'd Be Useless to Fight

Seriously, Ron Weasley is the secondary antagonist of the Harry Potter series, not Draco Malfoy. Draco just taunted Harry a few times and broke his nose that one time. Ron broke Harry's spirit and in the last book, Harry seriously though Ron was going to murder him out of jealousy and just accepted it. "Oh well, I can't kill Ron in self-defense. I'll just doom the wizarding world by dying here instead of fighting Voldemort!".

Ron doesn't get nearly enough crap for the stuff he pulls. Like, seriously, in "Half-Blood Prince", he treated his sister like shit, Hermione like shit, Harry like shit, did a cruel and completely unnecessary impression of Hermione in front of the 3 girls she shares a dormitory room with (reducing her to tears) and he punched someone in the face just because he was feeling moody, all of it because Hermione probably kissed Viktor Krum 2 years back.

In "Half-Blood Prince", Ron was literally looking for reasons to fight with Hermione just because she may have kissed Viktor Krum 2 years back. He literally went looking for reasons to fight her and make her feel like shit! And he even gave Harry shit just because Harry and Hermione was part of the Slug Club, while Ron wasn't. Yes, let's treat our own purported best friends like shit because someone else treated you badly.

Time and time again, Ron treated Harry and Hermione like shit out of insecurity and jealousy. To all of his admirers and defenders: You would never tolerate a toxic asshole like that in real life. You would never want to be his friend or lover. Ron Weasley is a piece of shit and Rowling should've killed him off in "Order of the Phoenix" like she'd originally planned to.

[–]Phylar 4ポイント5ポイント  (13子コメント)

Oooh, do a Draco one!

[–]SUSAN_IS_A_BITCH 56ポイント57ポイント  (12子コメント)

Draco Malfoy and My Father Will Hear About This x7

No, no, okay, let's be serious:

Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter Doesn't Want to Be My Friend >:(

Draco Malfoy and Finally Someone's Attacking Mudbloods

Draco Malfoy and a Hippogriff Tore My Arm Off

Draco Malfoy and I Was Happier as a Ferret

Draco Malfoy and Prefects Ain't Got Nothin' On Me

Draco Malfoy and I Need to Kill the Greatest Wizard Who Ever Lived or My Parents Will Be Murdered

Draco Malfoy and All of My Friends Are Dead :(

[–]Hezkezl 10ポイント11ポイント  (3子コメント)

Draco Malfoy and All of My Friends Are Dead :(

Draco Malfoy and Hey Suddenly I Have a Dark-skinned Best Friend now

[–]nervousnell89 6ポイント7ポイント  (2子コメント)

Well Crabbe went off to jail for a while and couldn't be in the last films. So rather than try to pass a white kid off unsuccessfully they wanted to make it obvious that they were changing the character entirely, just keeping the events true to the book.

[–]Hezkezl 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yeah, I understand why they did it. (Crabbe turned into a dick) It's still something that's funny to see the first time when it catches people by surprise, and gets made fun of for happening.

[–]Phylar 7ポイント8ポイント  (7子コメント)

This was darker than I had expected :(


You seem to know the books; the Weasley Twins may be a decent one.

[–]Marcoscb 13ポイント14ポイント  (4子コメント)

I'm going to try this one:

The Weasly Twins and Hogwarts' Toilet

The Weasly Twins and the year we were irrelevant

The Weasly Twins and WE FINALLY WON THE FUCKING CUP

The Weasly Twins and we Tried to Fool the Greatest Wizard who Ever Lived. Also, We Got Free Money

The Weasly Twins and the Inquisitorial War

The Weasly Twins and the Joke Shop

George Weasly and My Brother is Dead

[–]green_meklar 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ronald Weasley and Guys I Had a Temper Tantrum Because My Best Friend Was Entered Into a Deadly Tournament by a Psychopath and He Didn't Tell Me

So, so true...

[–]mr_awesome365 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ronald Weasley and Dude, Where's my Car?

[–]xxmindtrickxx 76ポイント77ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ron Weasley and My Best Contribution is Chess.

Ron Weasley and My Best Contribution is Ginny.

Ron Weasley and My Best Contribution is My Pet Rat.

To name a few...

[–]ExcerptMusic 33ポイント34ポイント  (44子コメント)

Do one for Ron!

[–]EditorialComplex 429ポイント430ポイント  (30子コメント)

Ronald Weasley and Aww Fuck My New Friend is Super Famous
Ronald Weasley and Aww Fuck My Sister Got Kidnapped by Her Diary
Ronald Weasley and Aww Fuck I've Been Sleeping With an Old Guy This Whole Time
Ronald Weasley and Aww Fuck That Super Hot Bulgarian Dude Likes the Girl I Like
Ronald Weasley and Aww Fuck My Inferiority Complex is Acting Up Again
Ronald Weasley and Aww Fuck I'm Terrible at this Romance Bullshit
Ronald Weasley and Aww Fuck I Miss Fred Already

[–]GamingSandwich 152ポイント153ポイント  (2子コメント)

Ronald Weasley and Aww Fuck I Miss Fred Already

Man ._.; Unexpected feels there.

[–]flouncyskirts 23ポイント24ポイント  (1子コメント)

This is perfect. You're perfect. And now Snape!

[–]EditorialComplex 140ポイント141ポイント  (0子コメント)

Severus Snape and Shit My Dead Love's Kid is Here Now
Severus Snape and Shit that Gilderoy Fuck is a Pain in the Ass
Severus Snape and Shit I Still Really Hate those Marauder Fuckers
Severus Snape and Shit Why is He Back For Real
Severus Snape and Shit I Let this Dumbass Kid Into My Mind
Severus Snape and The Eternal Spoiler
Severus Snape and Shit I Hate Snakes

And I think I'm tapped out.

[–]jkimtrolling 33ポイント34ポイント  (10子コメント)

And now from Voldemorts side! (or Tom riddle?)

[–]EditorialComplex 436ポイント437ポイント  (9子コメント)

Tom Marvolo Riddle and You Would Not Believe How Terrible this Turban Smells
Tom Marvolo Riddle and Fuck You That Was My Second Favorite Snake
Tom Marvolo Riddle and Why Did it Have to be my Shitty Servant Who Came Back
Tom Marvolo Riddle and Guess Who's Back Motherfuckers
Tom Marvolo Riddle and This Kid is Really Starting to Piss Me Off
Tom Marvolo Riddle and Dumbledore More Like Dumbledead Amirite
Tom Marvolo Riddle and Fuck All You Fucking Fuckers

[–]jkimtrolling 19ポイント20ポイント  (3子コメント)

Hahah bra-vo

We need to go deeper

Hmm..not sure if this one will work: from Mr. Weasley's perspective?

edit: Wait, no! Draco makes more sense!

[–]techtechvpi 108ポイント109ポイント  (2子コメント)

Draco Malfoy and the Dick Didn't Shake My Hand

Draco Malfoy and My Awesome New Broom

Draco Malfoy and My Father Will Hear About This

Draco Malfoy and Fuck That Teacher Just Fucking Turned Me Into a Fucking Ferret

Draco Malfoy and Oh Shit Just Got Real

Draco Malfoy and Fuck I Can't Do This Shit Myself

Draco Malfoy and Seriously I'm Done With This Shit Can We Go Home Already

[–]TheHighTech2013 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I forget that in canon!Harrypotter transfiguring a student does not result in transfiguration sickness like in harry potter and the methods of rationality.

[–]TheTjums 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I liked always like the movie version of TMR: Fuck All You Fucking Fuckers Part II the best. Such an epic conclusion.

[–]Bbfnn 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ronald Weasley and Aww Fuck My Super Famous Friend Now Sleeps With My Sister

[–]Flomo420 10ポイント11ポイント  (6子コメント)

Ronald Weasley and Aww Fuck I've Been Sleeping With an Old Guy This Whole Time

I haven't seen or read any of the series but that sounds like one hell of a plot twist.

[–]EditorialComplex 9ポイント10ポイント  (5子コメント)

In the world of Harry Potter there are wizards who can study exceptionally difficult magic to shapeshift into animals.

Ron Weasley's family has an old pet rat that he takes to school with him.

In the third book it's revealed that the pet rat was actually a shapeshifted wizard who'd supported the big bad guy years before and everyone thought was dead this whole time.

[–]Mmac360 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

You missed the chance to use Bloody Hell instead of Aww fuck.

[–]JasonDJ 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ronald Weasley and Aww Fuck I Got Shipped With Harry Again

Wait that one is probably already real.

[–]Neocrasher 121ポイント122ポイント  (12子コメント)

Ron Weasley and My Hero Friend Saves The Day
Ron Weasley and My Hero Friend Saves The Day
Ron Weasley and My Hero Friend Saves The Day
Ron Weasley and My Hero Friend Saves The Day
Ron Weasley and My Hero Friend Saves The Day
Ron Weasley and My Hero Friend Gets Schoolwork Advice from an Old Book
Ron Weasley and My Hero Friend Marries My Sister

[–]brickmack 18ポイント19ポイント  (10子コメント)

And yet somehow Ron still ended up with Hermione. Finally Ron comes out ahead of Harry

[–]Raszamatasz 11ポイント12ポイント  (7子コメント)

Only in the movies.

[–]ItIsShrek 12ポイント13ポイント  (6子コメント)

And in the books...

[–]wootmobile 22ポイント23ポイント  (3子コメント)

I think he's talking about the fact that Hermione is a [9] in the movies but a [6] in the books.

[–]platypusses 10ポイント11ポイント  (1子コメント)

Apparently a [6] that the most famous Quidditch player in the world had the hots for.

KRUM!!!!

[–]ItIsShrek 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

After seeing the Prisoner of Azkaban I always imagined Hermione as Emma Watson anyway... Guess he has a point.

[–]mr-pratfall 27ポイント28ポイント  (1子コメント)

Colin Creevey Makes a Friend

Colin Creevey and the Following of Instructions

Colin Creevey and Little Brothers, Am I Right?

Colin Creevey and the Order of the Phoenix

Colin Creevey and the Not Sure if He's in this One

Colin Creevey's Bad Day

[–]PINIPF 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Colin Creevey's Bad Day

Colin Creevey's Bad Fur Day

[–]Patati 24ポイント25ポイント  (1子コメント)

Neville Longbottom and the Full Body-Bind Curse

Neville Longbottom and the year in the background

Neville Longbottom and the strugle with the password

Neville Longbottom and the book that could have helped Harry Potter

Neville Longbottom and the disarming charm

Neville Longbottom and the loony girl

Neville Longbottom and the beheading of the serpent

Well, I tried...

[–]venividivci 20ポイント21ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hermione Granger And Why Am I Still Looking Out For These Two Dudes?

[–]suslik83 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

Draco Malfoy and This Idiot Who's More Popular Than Me

Draco Malfoy and This Idiot is Better at Quidditch Than Me

Draco Malfoy and That Time I Faked an Injury and Got Popular

Draco Malfoy and Some Jerk Turned Me Into a Ferret

Draco Malfoy and the Time I Got That Idiot in Trouble

Draco Malfoy and I'm Finally Important but I Might Die

Draco Malfoy and I'm Tired

[–]AGoodHeadbutt 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

Ya know, i feel like Hermione wasn't even particularly smart. She was just a hard worker in a world of people who literally have anything they want at their fingertips. They would have been fucked if Voldemort had gotten his own occult Nazi scientist equivalent of a wizard to go with his final solution.

[–]platypusses 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Even the other wizards considered her the most intelligent wizard of her age. Then again she chose Ron... can't be that smart.

[–]Faelixthegreat 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hagrid and I shouldn't have said that Hagrid and I really shouldn't have said that Hagrid and I shouldn't have told you that...

[–]ilikec4ke 3ポイント4ポイント  (4子コメント)

Which plot is the "idiot friend is better then me at something" i can't work it out and it's bothering me

[–]EditorialComplex 3ポイント4ポイント  (3子コメント)

Order of the Phoenix. Harry, being better than Hermione at Defense against the Dark Arts and practical dueling, teaches Dumbledore's Army.

[–]Alarmed_Ferret 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

I don't know if he's better at dueling or if he just mastered the most basic of defense spells, the disarming spell.

[–]HGMIV926 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

She's like the Samwise and Harry Potter is Frodo.

[–]WTFwhatthehell 6ポイント7ポイント  (5子コメント)

One of the reasons I really liked HPMOR was that the author obviously admired Hermoine far far more and made more of a point that she was the sane one in the original series and pushed her up to replace Ron as both HEVP's best friend and primary (friendly)rival. In cannon Hermoine is also possibly the most uncompromisingly moral of the group.

[–]Colin1876 4ポイント5ポイント  (3子コメント)

I can't work out what these acronyms mean. What am I missing?

[–]lessnonymous [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

HPMOR = Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality -- hpmor.com or /r/hpmor

HPEV = Harry (James) Potter-Evans-Verres

In the fanfic, Petunia dumped Dursley (he rates a quick mention as a past boyfriend) and married Professor Michael Verres-Evans. They adopted Harry and raised him to be intelligent and rational. The book is what happens to him from the same point as the canonical Harry (ie, as he starts at Hogwarts)

[–]bigpig1054 [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Severus Snape and This is the Last Time I do Something nice for the Boy

Severus Snape and This is the Last Time I do Something nice for the Boy

Severus Snape and This is the Last Time I do Something nice for the Boy

Severus Snape and This is the Last Time I do Something nice for the Boy

Severus Snape and This is the Last Time I do Something nice for the Boy

Severus Snape and This is the Last Time I do Something nice for the Boy

Severus Snape and This is the Last Time I do Something nice for the Boy

[–]suslik83 [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

Ginny Weasley and Ugh I Have to Stay Home With My Mom

Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter is So Hot and He Saved Me from my Evil Diary

Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter Still Doesn't Care About Me

Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter Didn't Dance with Me So I Had to Dance with a Loser Ugh

Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter is Dating Cho Chang Ugh

Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter is Dating Me and I'm Popular All of a Sudden Wow

Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter Just Dumped Me to Save the World Ugh He's So Selfish

[–]Woowchocolate [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Surely it'd be mum not mom as Harry Potter's set in England/Scotland. :P

[–]HeartDenko 81ポイント82ポイント  (1子コメント)

Hermione's story was underdone probably because she was Muggleborn so Harry wasn't as interested. He met Ron whose life had been magical the whole time and looked at Hermione and was like "Cool. Dentists. I'm on that magic shit now sooo..."

[–]jmerridew124 32ポイント33ポイント  (0子コメント)

I choose to believe she is Matilda.

[–]pigi5 56ポイント57ポイント  (1子コメント)

Some serious cliffhanger that would be if told from her parent's perspective. At some random point they just never mention her name again and only talk about regular, everyday things.

[–]vorin 17ポイント18ポイント  (0子コメント)

I was surprised that no one had mentioned this! Unless it was from their pov from the beginning, then she wouldn't be part of the story at all.

[–]TheWalkingManiac 173ポイント174ポイント  (45子コメント)

If you wanted an 'Ender's Shadow' type of story, wouldn't making Neville the protagonist make more sense? Considering he's pretty much Harry's Shadow up until he pulls the sword out of the Sorting Hat.

[–]47Ronin 34ポイント35ポイント  (8子コメント)

Given the massive amount of Harry Potter fan fiction out there, I'm sure someone has made the attempt, but I'd love to read a good alternate story where Neville is the Chosen One. I kind of see a world in where Neville's parents die and he is adopted by one of the other Order members (someone we recognize -- Lupin? Moody? Someone wholly unfit to raise a child), Harry (whose parents lived) bullies him, and Neville has to deal with all of the shit Harry had to deal with except he's much more introverted and afraid.

[–]CptES 17ポイント18ポイント  (2子コメント)

I'd love to read a good alternate story where Neville is the Chosen One.

There's no lack of them in fanfiction, though your definition of "good" may vary.

[–]deukhoofd 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

"Hey in my story neville is the chosen one but he has been famous for his entire life and raised by purebloods so he's an asshole and Harry Potter has been ignored his entire life but is secretly the chosen one, and he gets a relation with this really cool purple haired dragon/girl please read and review"

[–]WhyNona 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

OOOOH, and we get to see what happens to Harry when he grows up in a normal, loving environment with both his parents, as opposed to Neville who is screwed either way. I've always loved Neville and it would be brilliant to hear his side, even just a short story version, and of course I always shipped him and Luna D:

[–]ForumPointsRdumb 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'd prefer a alternate perspective over an alternate story.

[–]mrducky78 72ポイント73ポイント  (29子コメント)

Nah bruh, its all about that Dobby perspective. Or Hedwig.

[–]StaticDreams 22ポイント23ポイント  (0子コメント)

Dobby and the Sorcerer's Socks

[–]Orlitoq 55ポイント56ポイント  (13子コメント)

And that Angry Inch...

[–]TK421IsTheLoneliest 20ポイント21ポイント  (6子コメント)

I found it hard to take Hedwig the Owl seriously as a subservient being when I knew of her past

[–]riveracct 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I forgot that part. Which past?

[–]skucera 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Hedwig has a back story? Is it canon?

[–]jkimtrolling 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

google "hedwig angry inch"

[–]MadMageMC 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I am both astounded and ashamed I did not pick up on this reference sooner. I think I just got docked points on my Geek Card.

[–]LittleTiny 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Six inches forward and five inches back.

[–]gianlucarossi150 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

The Willow's story would be pretty dope

[–]PopeJP22 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

The seventh book of her story would be really, really short.

[–]nyllahsawrus 3ポイント4ポイント  (5子コメント)

dobby for sure!!

[–]SirHolmesalot 32ポイント33ポイント  (2子コメント)

[–]nyllahsawrus 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

HOLY FUCKING SHIT BALLS I LOVE THIS <3 thank you, thank you so much.

[–]SirHolmesalot 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Haha, you're quite welcome :D

[–]mrducky78 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

House elves would be in on some of the best fucking gossip.

[–]survivor4321 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

House elves would be in on some of the best fuckings.

[–]expendablethoughts 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

If it was Hedwig, we wouldn't see the whole story.

[–]BitterCoffeeMan 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Or Snape

[–]mrducky78 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

We kind of saw plenty through Snape's perspective. Not just pensieve but second hand what he went through. Its just a bit redundant.

Besides, he is a minor character compared to the likes of Hedwig.

[–]JBrambleBerry 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah, but he's pretty boring till then. Hermoine is still directly involved in all the conflicts Harry goes through.

[–]LycanicAlex 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Neville's story can be really really good. If JK doesn't write it; I will.

[–]Servalpur 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Already been written in fanfic form. Supposedly it's good, I never got into it because apparently the writer is batshit insane (an admittedly horrible reason not to read it, I also don't like non Harry point of view fics).

Here

[–]alecesne 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Plot Twist: Neville is actually the one the prophesy was about.

[–]lie4karma[🍰] 71ポイント72ポイント  (42子コメント)

ohhh maybe you dont know about this:

http://www.jamespotterseries.com/muggle_index.html

JK even came out in support of the series. Enjoy!

[–]souplexity 31ポイント32ポイント  (19子コメント)

Wait what is this? WHAT IS THIS

[–]Mr_FrenchTickler 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

I read this in Andrew Garfield's voice.

[–]Det_Wun_Gai 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I read this in Gilbert Godfried's voice

[–]lie4karma[🍰] 4ポイント5ポイント  (16子コメント)

Its the James potter series. You are welcome.

[–]SupDanLOL 6ポイント7ポイント  (8子コメント)

The prologue of book one begins w/ a Reservoir Dogs reference. Not sure I'm going to like this.

[–]adinsx123 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

is it good?

[–]lie4karma[🍰] 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

its not as good as the series obviously, but its some of the best fan fiction ive ever read. So good the author supports it...

[–]adinsx123 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, i found the next books i'll be reading, thank you very much

[–]souplexity 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Have you read them? How amazing are they?

[–]NegroNoodle2 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've read them all, good but they're not as good as the originals, little confusing at times, but very enjoyable nonetheless. I would recommend.

[–]SkillednotQualified 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Oh my...thank you for this

[–]lie4karma[🍰] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

You are welcome. If you are looking for another amazing series you should check out The King Killer Chronicles; starting with "The Name Of The Wind"... You will thank me later.

[–]vivifiction 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

"JK even came out in support of the series."

I thought it was more like "JK and her agent considered suing because of copyright infringement, but since it's not terrible or erotica or whatever JK sanctioned the fanfic so the guy can write and freely distribute it without legal repercussion."

[–]Borg-Man 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Reading the first one now. It's OK, but I've found that at least the Dutch translated version a bit of a mess is with a lot of errors and redundant words. It's an enjoyable read, although the continuous reference to Harry Potter (OMG OMG HOW AM I GOING TO LIVE UP TO MAH DADDAH!!11!!) might be a dealbreaker when you start. Gets better later on, though...

[–]mort-vivant 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Do you know if I can read this without downloading an ebook for it? An online version or something?

[–]mort-vivant 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Nevermind, I was an idiot but I've found it now

[–]lie4karma[🍰] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not that I know. I just grabbed all the PDFs.

[–]berenstein49 9ポイント10ポイント  (2子コメント)

This is a rare instance where the secondary book might be better than the original. I loved Enders Game but Enders Shadow blew it out of the water IMO.

[–]Eskimosam 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've never read another book like Ender's shadow. Where you go through everything just through a different POV. Book blew my mind. Honestly kinda changed my out look on life and how I interact with others.

[–]frakkinadama 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ender's Shadow was easily one of the best books in the series. Bean is so interesting.

[–]2legittoquit 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

But Bean and Ender are only together for essentially one book. Their stories arent resolved together, the way the characters in harry potter are. It would have to be someone who splits off and can actually have their own story (if we are comparing to enders game).

[–]ZiggyStarnuts 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I love that this comment is a reply to another comment branding Emma Watson's ass as magic.

[–]i_bite_right 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'd read the hell out of an "Expanded Universe" version of the series with Hermione as the hero.

[–]MyCleverNewName 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

This should be ghost-written by Larry Flynt.

[–]deal_with_it99 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Or some kind of alternate time line story. How she was brought into the world as a Pureblood and see how the story could play out with her in House Slytherine.

[–]Vio_ 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

As much as Hermione would be good, I'd love an adult retelling of hP. Maybe someone like McGonigal.

[–]illBro 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

While I do enjoy the bean saga I feel it doesn't stand up to enders game or the speaker for the dead series

[–]dbl_dbl 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've been contemplating reading those Shadow books. Only have read EG so far.

[–]qpaenumw 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

I think she is the daughter of Ron and Hermoine. Thus the picture is of Hermoine Jr.

[–]negativzeroe 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

They were so disappointed to learn that she had been placed in Slytherin.

[–]StargateMunky101 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

Jailtime woulda been worth it...

No really. Imagine the kind of money the tabloids would pay you for that news story!