[question] am I in the wrong here?

hi_im_eros · 6時間前

She's just upset you moved on first. Don't pay her any mind, you asked her if there was hope for the two of you and she said no.

throw22949 · 6時間前

Nope, you've done nothing wrong. She's just pissed that, as the dumpee, you were able to move on more quickly. The whole bit about it being a former friend of hers is just an excuse she went looking for so she doesn't have to admit it's because she dumped you (and got the further ego pleasure of rejecting you when you asked to get back together).

Congratulations, in an amazing come from behind recovery - you've just successfully won the breakup in sudden-death overtime...and got laid. Really, savor it, it doesn't get a lot better than that :-)

bakkasan · 6時間前

Now my ex refuses to talk to me saying she was betrayed

Nope, clear no means you guys were 100% done and she can enjoy moving on with her life. They aren't even current friends. I can see if they were current.

eightofdiamonds · 5時間前

You're good. She didn't want to be with you but didn't want you to be with anyone else. It doesn't work that way. She'll need to deal with it.

SovietXedge · 6時間前

You were clear to land, Ghostrider.

nmmwm · 6時間前

She left you and confirmed her decision. Seems like you can fuck whoever you want now.

srv656s · 4時間前

In my experience, the whole "staying friends after you breakup" business doesn't work for most people. If you guys truly cared for each other, you'd want the other person to be happy. However if you cared for the other person it'd probably make you feel awful to see them with someone else. I don't think that's a flaw, that's a natural part of human nature.

FaithwithinReason · 3時間前

Reminded of the Oscar Wilde quote, "There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up."

She wants to relinquish you as a partner but not let you be with someone else. It's unhealthy to stay around a relationship like this.

hoodsie182 · 3時間前

High five dude ✋

nenjiavero · 6時間前

She's acting like a possessive child. Ignore her and do whatever makes you happy. You don't owe her anything.

boneyarsebogman · 6時間前

Not in the wrong.

ABadGirl · 6時間前

No, you guys are broken up.

helpmeoutplzthnx · 6時間前

You're not in the wrong at all. She's in post break-up moodiness and may be feeling regretful of it now...or whatever. No fault on your part. Since you asked if there was any chance of getting back together, even though she said no, she might have secretly started thinking about it. It's just a jolt to her emotional system that's leaving her butt-hurt.

vada2013 · 5時間前

Cut your ex out of your life for good

BangChooChoo · 5時間前

She's just mad you moved on. You're "supposed" to still be sobbing over her.

Sykryk · 5時間前

You've done nowt wrong amigo - roll with it :)

PM_ME_YOURFEET_GIRLS · 2時間前

/r/relationships

bchiggins · 6時間前

You've done nothing wrong.

SomniaPerdita · 2時間前

You did nothing wrong, but I question the longevity of your friendship with your ex.

JDogish · 2時間前

For me, ex's only stayed friends until they moved on, and always slowly became very distant friends. You moved on quickly and that has caused her to feel crappy because she hasn't moved on yet. Though now she will likely get more distant pretty quickly. If she can't deal with it, you weren't going to last as friends anyways.

bad_memory_bot · 1時間前

Just putting it out there that clearly there are still weird feelings. Maybe it's best to cool it on the friendship and in like 6+ months try again. You don't need some weird trip every time you have sex.

theoceangrewquickly · 5時間前

I have found in my life a lot of girls become very angry if you move on before they do if they have broken off the relationship, I probably just have poor taste in women because I know most females are great but it seems like it's a power thing you know? They want to feel like they "won" in the end by breaking up with you and if you just move on straight away they lose that sense of power, they feel like the ones who were left behind and it is harder on them.

That's just my take on it

B0h1c4 · 2時間前

I think I can see why she would be upset. I'm guessing she's probably not really upset with you as much as she's upset with the situation.

It's kind of a shitty situation for her. Things that are likely uncomfortable for her:

Her ex-boyfriend moved on from her really quickly
Her ex-boyfriend just had sex with someone she used to be really close with
Someone she used to be really close with had sex with her newly ex'd-boyfriend

That sucks. I know I wouldn't want to be in her shoes. Going through a breakup is bad enough without immediately seeing your ex move on, and especially with someone you know really well.

We're you "wrong"? Technically no. You are broken up and you can do who you want. But is it reasonable for her to have no negative feelings about this? I don't think so.

I'm a guy. I would have made every effort to keep rebounds on the DL for at least a few months just out of respect for the ex. Imagine if she banged one of your acquaintances the same night. You would probably not be crazy about it either.

In the end... breakups suck. I highly advise the clean break. Don't try to be friends right away. Be amicable, but take some time apart. Then maybe somewhere down the line you will be friends... maybe not. But if you are going to try to be close friends right after a break up, you have to understand that it's going to be tenuous for a while. Let the dust settle.

Keynan · 2時間前

She wanted you on her leash, you didn't let her.

She's your ex, she's not your concern anymore.

alittlebirdy1 · 5時間前

Absolutely not. You can't betray someone by having sex with someone else if you're not in a relationship, and that person has told you that you are 100% over.

She's being immature about this. She's hurt because you're moving on, and she doesn't want you to do so (or wants you to wait until she feels that it's okay).

It can be tough to keep an amicable friendship with an ex, as so many people have these kinds of jealousy issues.

You don't owe her anything, and you did nothing wrong.

iCommentSomtimes · 3時間前

I would definitely say this belongs in /r/relationships.

That being said, it is a pretty quick answer so nbd.

I agree with everyone else. She made it clear it's over. You moved on, she's upset. Don't worry about it, not your fault at all. Go live life and have fun.

headversusheart · 3時間前

nooo as a lady i can put myself in her shoes and i still don't think she should be so dramatic. i can see where she is upset, it would obviously hurt to know that about a recent ex but she was the one who cut it off and if you say they haven't spoke then its not a huge betrayal. but i also don't think being friends or talking at all is in the cards for you two. i think she is being a little dumb to be honest. if you guys were broken up, you can have sex with whoever you like. the only thing i would have trouble with is that you said you were still "friends" and slept with her old friend. its almost equivalent to a girl sleeping with her best friends bf or crush. yet another reason remaining friends with an ex is the fucking dumbest shit ever. also how did this conversation come up? did the friend tell your ex or did you?

AHandsomeNeckbeard · 2時間前

The question really boils down to, do you value the friendship of your ex, or your ability to be with other people more? if it's the second one, you might wanna wait until you're over her

illimitable1 · 2時間前

You didn't have an agreement of any kind not to sleep with other people, so there is no way you could have been untrue to that agreement.

rockettbambam · 19分前

Technically, you're not wrong for sleeping with someone while being a single guy ESPECIALLY because she said there was no chance at another relationship... I don't know about her, but I know if my ex were to have sex with some random that I don't know it wouldn't even effect me.. But if it's someone I DID know? That would bother me. Don't know why... But that's probably why she's so pissed.

miminothing · 13分前

Unfortunately this is one of those things that will ALWAYS piss off a girl whether or not she's in the right. Get used to it.

strained_brain · 6分前

Could be that there is a complex hostile relationship between the ex and your one-night stand-girl. Maybe she feels betrayed because you should have known how angry the ex was with the friend?

JunahCg · 3時間前

Your girl was either playing with your emotions when she said there was no hope for you two, or she's playing with your emotions now.

rustybuckets · 2時間前

It's just personal. I've been on the receiving end before. Like, there's millions of dudes in this city, why someone we both know?

throwcap · 4時間前

She made it clear that there is no hope for you two so all she does is being a little whiney something. Don't give her attention and get over her, she seems a little bit off.

Fenixfrost · 3時間前

I had an ex who did this to me for years, even while she was engaged and "moving on." You weren't in the wrong at all.

10after6 · 2時間前

Count yourself lucky. You could have married her.

analyticmonkey · 1時間前

I'm sorry, but I cannot resist pointing out the obvious Friends reference here: "WE WERE ON A BREAK!"

Now that that's over with, no, you were definitely in the right zone. She's just being a B.

notoneofyourfans · 5時間前

She wants to see you hurt for her. And you want to hurt for her (if it will do any good). Well, it won't. Write off the friendship. She can't handle being friends.

Angelusz · 1時間前

I could make a wise comment, or just go..

LIKE A BOSS. high fives

zionbelo · 4時間前

Smooth as sin.

beardedladyporn · 2時間前

Lol shes just goofy in the head. Best advice, ignore her. Hit new girl up again

Edit: I wish my ex would voluntarily stop talking to me

lxapocryphaxl · 2時間前

It sounds like she's playing games. She wants to sleep with other men but doesn't want you to sleep with other women. I would steer clear of her as she sounds like a horribly controlling person who has to get her own way or she throws a fit. Seems like you're lucky that you got away while you still could.

BlkManX · 1時間前

Dicks don't k know an Ex from the Next....who hi have sex with is your business and if your ex can't handle it the that's on her, once she stopped riding the dick she lost all ties to it, if she liked it so much and didn't want anyone else riding it she should have put a ring on it lol

JAYDEA · 1時間前

She needs to learn that its bros before hoes.

kjvlv · 1時間前

If you feel guilty, you need to go after her mom or close relative and bang them as well.

That will help ease your pain

final_throes · 3時間前

Forget right and wrong for a minute.

From your point of view, things were over between you and the ex, you met another woman and had sex with her. Your reasons for having sex with this new woman were things like

you liked her
she had a vagina
she would let you put your penis in it

Sounds like plenty of reason, and good, no-harm-no-foul reason.

But now look at it from your ex's point of view: your ex-friend and your ex-boyfriend are hooking up! Since in your subconscious, these people have no identity apart from their relationship with you, what reason could an ex-friend and an ex-boyfriend have for doing something like that? It can only be an attempt to get revenge on you, to hurt you.

I doubt your ex could actually articulate this -- no one is willing to say aloud "I believe you have no existence apart from your status as my ex-boyfriend", however sincerely they believe it -- but she feels it, and the more sympathetic among her friends are supporting her in that feeling.

Are you "wrong"? No, you had the moral right to sleep with her ex-friend. You also have the moral right to sleep with her sister, her mother, and her grandmother, but you would probably desist, exactly out of sensitivity to her feelings in the matter.

But what is done is done. Offer her your qualified apology ("I am sorry if anything I have done upset you"), and move along.

koalapants · 4時間前

She's your ex. If she doesn't want to talk to you because you moved on, so be it. No loss if you guys aren't friends anymore.

The-Ban-Hammer · 3時間前

You were supposed to be a "good little boy," be friends, let her do her thing FIRST, so she could be the one in power. This is not a gender thing but, generally, an ex-couple thing. Whoever fucks first after the relationship has the power, and the other person becomes the victim. Doesn't ever matter that things are over. As others mentioned here, you "moved on" first and you were supposed to "let her" move on first. You did nothing wrong. Don't apologize. And carry on.

OrchidReverie · 3時間前

She wants to control you. You're seeking validation from her by remaining friends. She will hate you so long as you date other girls with the same or greater value than her.

You're doing the right thing moving on and fucking other girls. You do you. Get other girls. You'll let go of your ex naturally as you replace your life with new girls and friends.

barbushka101 · 3時間前

Dude It just wasn't meant to be It's her problem now

alexandermark · 3時間前

no ... nothing wrong. If you want to get back with her throw it in her face. Tell her your madly in love with her and don't take no for an answer. Her actions speak that she is still into you. Be the alpha and woo her back. Talk.

MyselfandIandMe · 3時間前

let her go. The best part about breaking up is the end of commitments

mage2k · 3時間前

You did nothing wrong. One of the main points of a break-up is that you both no longer have any say over who the other sees, sexually or otherwise.

HypNoEnigma · 2時間前

She was crystal clear about being together or even coming back together, this is her own fault.

You were free to do what you did, you are not wrong in no way possible

PigeonsOnYourBalcony · 2時間前

If the girl you slept with and your ex were still good friends I'd say it was iffy but if they haven't been talking in years I'd say you're in the clear. Your ex said you had no chance of getting together so you have no obligation to her but because you're moving on she's getting jealous

love_of_his_life · 1時間前

Woman here. You have done nothing wrong. If they were still friends and still talking, I would say the don't fuck the ex's friend/ex boyfriend rule would apply. If reconciliation was a clear no and they don't talk too bad for her then. She can kick rocks. There's no betrayal.

beardedpomegranate · 1時間前

Sounds like she hasn't fully moved on yet and is pissed that you have. I wouldn't worry about it, you did nothing wrong.

flsr · 1時間前

You did nothing wrong, although you potentially become as douchey as she if you're gloating over it. Because that's why she's all bent- she couldn't "get one over" you.

JamesWjRose · 1時間前

I'l up the ante on this one: Back in the late 90s my wife left me. (not a good time in my life. Anyway) In the course of the legal issues I found out she was already dating, to which I said to her; "How would you feel if I was already dating?" She told me she'd be happy that I was moving on.

Fast forward a couple of months and I am seeing someone. Soon to be ex wife comes by the house to get a few items and I inform her that she'll "be happy to know I'm dating someone." The look on her face was priceless.

We all feel something to those we have shared part of our lives, sometimes we can be friends and sometimes we cannot. You did nothing wrong, and maybe she'll realize this too. Best of luck to you.

superfuels · 1時間前

Most of the time, two people who don't get over each other after a breakup is the result of ego-ism, meaning she's not missing you, or pissed that it's her former friend, but rather that you got over her before she got over you. That's it.

Keep banging away, forget about her, you offered reconciliation and then got it in first, she just maddddd

karikosera · 56分前

You've done nothing wrong, but she is probably butthurt you didn't mourn longer. Source: have been butthurt over this kinda thing. She'll get over it, or not.

DesdemonaMoor · 49分前

That's just jealousy talking. Ye ole' "I don't want you but don't want anyone else to have you". Honestly, I wouldn't be diddling any acquaintances at all, just stay out of that drama for your own well-being.

recyclopath_ · 4時間前

She is still trying to possess you after it ended. She is just looking for things to get mad about and isn't over it yet. You're fine.

harleyqueenzel · 3時間前

This isn't an episode of Friends and you were "on a break". She made it clear you two were over and you moved on. Her feelings are hurt because you moved on faster than she did. You're not in the wrong, you're single and enjoying yourself.

Sup3rPant5 · 2時間前

Depends. Did you casually bring it up in conversation that you slept with her friend or did her friend tell her?

Scenario one, you're an asshole, but sleeping with the friend isn't why.

Scenario two, friend is an asshole.

comach2 · 1時間前

You guys aren't together anymore, no chance of being together. So you're friends. She's mad about something that has nothing to do with her- which means she's a pretty shitty friend, and you're better off if she isn't talking to you

Scottalansumner · 1時間前

Why you talking to her at all?

T1D1 · 6時間前

You are in the clear, I think she a women and fur no reason is being jealous

sex

調停者