My Chinese Wife From Hell

I have no sympathy for you Sir. In fact. Shame on you for taking advantage destroying a young girls life and changing her life for ever. You are a bad reflection on every other white man trying to find true love. Get a life and find someone your own age.

First, I am married to a Chinese girl, second you must be some young guy from a non-English speaking country that is used to look up words in a dictionary. And 3rd, you don't understand his chaotic mental state that got stack at the back of his mind. He's actually so disturbed and lost that ended up himself stranded in this internet forum, trying to toss some ultimatum statement. I only can assume that none of his friends are able to understand on such plight

Apparently, you can’t read my user id at the end of my posting. Let me help you, it says “Drafted72”. Got it? So, that means I am an American and was one of those unlucky few men who was drafted by the US government and served during the Vietnam War. Accordingly, that makes me in my 60’s and not some young non-English speaking kid with a dictionary.

Furthermore, I’ve graduated from 3 catholic universities, which place a higher degree of importance on a simple English ability of spelling then the public schools do. I also know how to use and then take the time to use “spell checker”, which the original poster didn’t.

Additionally, I live and work in China and can speak and read Chinese. Therefore, I see and experience more of the Chinese culture and the Chinese people in one day then you or the original poster do in a life time. I also think it shows a lack of class for any man to publicly humiliate his wife and the mother of his son as the original poster did, even if he is doing it anonymously.

If any man chooses to marry outside of his culture without doing any due diligence or a comprehensive appraisal of the difficulties of such cross cultural marriages then he shouldn’t complain and then blame his wife’s culture for his failure. Moreover, if a man doesn’t take the time to check his spelling on a public posting, I doubt if will take the time to properly prepare for a marriage to a woman from a different culture.

Finally, the original poster mentioned he was an “older white guy” while his wife was “younger” the he was. This shows further poor judgment by the original poster in selecting a wife. Not only does he marry someone outside of his culture but of a different generation. Subsequently, he expects the marriage to work. I have seen this so many times here in China. A “old white guy” usually in this 50’s with 1, 2 or 3 divorces under his belt, bald and a waistline to match is age, goes hunting online to “ChineseWife.com” or some similar website. Next they cut, copy and paste to several dozen Chinese women from a catalog. Following this in 2 weeks they find the love of their life from a single picture. Afterwards they come here to China to meet this woman and then get married on their first trip. Then who do these men blame?? They blame and hold responsible their wife or the Chinese culture! Give me a break!

But frankly I and most decent people will dismiss any comments made by someone who goes under the pseudonym of "idontlikechinesefamilies". Are Chinese families any different then families in the rest of the world? They're just like families all over, they want to be able to have a family, raise their kids, and have the security to live their life's in peace without people attacking them. Apparently, these are qualities which you do not respect and adhere to as demonstrated by your ID that you created. Instead, you support a man who humiliates his wife and mother of his son and her culture for his poor judgment.

The Chinese have a wonderful 成语 that goes 痴人痴福.

Let me introduce some on myself here. I'm 38 yo Spanish living in china for about 6 years. I'm not so educated as I'd like to be, however I think that, respectfully, you are not adhering much to reality, but only and profusely to adore Chinese culture in all its deeps. I like Chinese language. 我是自学中文者. 我也知道成语是啥鬼。。。
Respectfully again, you certainly don't know me and you still dare to postulate to the conclusion/judgment that I'm indeed a-someone-to-dismiss that actually you don't even give a dang to figure out of what you are barely aware of.
I'm talking about facts and is happening all in China, many times. You just need to read along scrolling down -it takes times too, but yes, it can be dismissed as me of course...- Nothing for you new to be considered appraise of. Just dismissed.

How long have you been hanging out with a Chinese women? Have you been married to one of them? Either marriage in china or get marry to a Chinese are both very different to only hanging/going out

You are kind of wrong. A relationship, between Chinese man and foreign woman seems to me is nothing like you describe. Chinese women are strategically possessive. They don't trust you by only being a foreigner. It's all about your deeds, they will never listen to words, only to observe your facts. Actually this wrong expectations you talk about are more likely to come from japanese women that asian ones.

What you said is more properly stated in caveman age stone time that in the actual China. Chinese women expect Chinese husband to be caring, attentive and passively hope their husband is gong to promote their current situation. However the reality in china is not so. Many Chinese girls don't really expect Chinese men anymore to do it, but from some more developed country foreigner, that might fulfill her requirements. Nothing else... It's actually plain simple. For them a foreigner might be better than any chinese is around. They are all likely to be just factual naives, unless is a chinese girl that speaks perfect english. Btw I met some of them and very young.
I may agree that when i comes into the relationship scope, ALL damn chinese girls are exaclty a "copypasta of the nextdoor one". Yes I know I generalize in extreme but it's in the air of any chinese custom to directly use this generalized talking. I guess is that they dont use THE article that lead any topic to be easily generalized. THE is to refer to some topic is particularly engaged in conversation, they don't have this particle that encapsulates particularity, it's all blurry and messy, not well defined.

but remember a little bit of that alpha crap goes a loooooongggg way

if you are **** or a German hooligan that will do it. Then you don't even notice it. But if you are high-regarded that **** personality may later grow in you...

I can't believe my first response on EP is talking about my pending divorce. I married a Chinese woman as well. I met her in China while working there on business trips. After courting here for 2 years, she pressured me to marry her, and I did. Luckily, both of my properties were acquired before marriage as I live in CA, but as the marriage dragged on (she's beautiful, btw), and she got a job herself making about half of what I make, our sex life decreased, she never helps out around the house, is emotionally abusive, yells at me, withholds sex. She has no sex drive. Once she got her green card, she even told me that part of her attraction to me was because I was an American, and now that she got her 10 year green card, guess I'm no longer special. Stay away from Chinese women, they just want your money and green card. I spent so much money on this woman, and she never appreciated it. I do believe Chinese culture promotes narcissism, as all Chinese have a me centered attitude, and they are selfish people. Stay away from Chinese women from China American men. Trust me, you have been warned by an Asian American man.

Please reply with authenticity, support, and respect

Feminism is pretty much built into Chinese society intrinsically. It looks like your problems accelerated when she got that job. Make her quit the joband be a house wife. That way she won't have any excuse why the house isn't clean, food isn't cooked, and she wont have sex with you. Always put your foot down by enforcing your stance with your actions. She'll change up.

Right and wrong. China is largely to under some intrinsically misogynist obscurantism. Women in china have strong determination and they don't rely on any mind projection. You are kind of right if you suggest that Chinese women will likely rather command and control over giving any ground for new topic to talk about of what's underlying between the both of you. That's what Chinese girls don't like to hesitate. After marriage, the "road" is ALREADY there, laid down to roll out toward expected success, and there's no time left to think over amending such marriage infrastructures. Chinese women don't like to talk seriously about any marriage concern. Otherwise this is done by 3rd-party friends that will happily assist in the quest of the splitting up venture.
What's right is that, many times the men are subdue to "my darling grandma's" wish of having a male as grandson. It's funny to see that Chinese bias for mail has been driven by old women, and not by young men. Btw, time ago, Indonesia was matriarch biased. Seems like the bible changed many things throughout mankind history. We are just law-conservatives (of the past), and that the mighty established power is not really open minded, thought.

I really and strongly discourage marriage counseling. It will be a waste of time and space. Chinese girls are neither under any rational professional understanding. They are just childish minded beings, or better said pet trainers. They don't need a husband, they need an obedient pet or, in human terms, a shut the **** up-slave. There's nothing to argue or even negotiate in the last instance. Get-the-****-out method is more healthy and cheap.

What she will is to fAck over by driving his life using his son as scapegoat.

My wife is "ok" too. I don't work and I stay in all day. But she is definitely faking out, and what she really wants it's a fish in its fish-tank. If you don't work you are the one trapped. Otherwise, If you like your wife then really I congratulate, because any Chinese girl will jump out a window rather than give up on an existent "ok" relationship. They strongly grip it with preservative stubbornation like an stakeholder. This is why she puts up with you, you are being the good Chinese as they say... ni shi hao han

Not everyone is alike. If you like your wifey then you have been lucky. Otherwise you are doomed... That's the radicalism that falls in Chinese relationships.

Gotta control these women man. Not like a tyrant but in a loving way, which lets her know there's consequences for her actions and that you're not going to tolerate her doing certain things. Especially disrespecting you. She'll get in line or she'll leave.

Not sure if you really get to place into the knowledge-box what's a factual married Chinese girl. You better study some epistemology to make sure your feet is walking steady on earth.

He's not a racist. That's such a feminist / racist thing to say yourself in order to make a man feel bad. You're a feminist and a racist yourself so stop projecting your man hatred and your racism towards Asian women onto this man. Instead go sit down , shut up and love your husband by giving him your attention. What you're saying is pure feminist, racist American crap.

Just takes few seconds for anyone to see what's underlying his post lines. He had enough for such eventual condition. That means he has not been using such a ***** mindset. A relationship is not so easy, you must really use your brains, specially with chinese ladies. No mature people will hardly start any relationship off like you think

Dude when I lived in China a female Chinese coworker stated basically that the girls are overly loved by their fathers since they can't have boys because of the one child rule as a result they're extremely spoiled princesses with an extreme case of feeling unworthy since they're not a male (regardless of the extreme love their shown). So what you're going through is normal As a result even Chinese guys are marrying filipinas, thais, viets, etc. because they can't handle the same attitude you're enduring. I'll just say you gotta get that princess under control. Let her know who the boss is and don't back done. Once she realizes it's your way or the high way she'll respect you and you because she'll know the rules.

I'm not sure that's the real score for any Chinese family raising up baby girls. I know any kid in China is overly spoiled (by parents and grandparents) and besides parents are not much demanding to theirs daughters. But any girl in china is eventually induced into some kind of inferiority complex feeling of much concern, that turns them to be very showy and catch signing, dressing utterly sexy. It's like they are under some race pressure like fast matching contest on the street.

all you said resonates for me too. A Chinese girl acts like a child tantrum to MAKE her way. designing schemes all along

Stop thinking like a woman for a second and be realistic. Most women in America are feminists and have a growing lesbian problem so why wouldn't he want to go to China to find a hot Chinese lady to marry. It's not like the majority of American women are a fountain of femininity anymore. Chinese women are heterosexual, feminine, girlish, loving, kind, soft hearted, etc. - all traits that are lost on American women. If the majority of men were indoctrinated to beat their wives and force them to have sex with them, totally disrespect them and had this enshrined in law and enforced by law enforcement you ladies would be looking for another group of men to marry too. You're feminist lezbot American thinking is trash just like most American women.

*** Most women in America are feminists and have a growing lesbian problem**

really?? since when ??

**** You're feminist lezbot American thinking is trash just like most American women.***

woooo you hate American women !! no wonder American women are hated, with men like you who hate us !! very sad!!

n

And you're a loser now. Who are you to be ashamed of him. Are you his mother? - NO YOUR NOT. So SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN you dumb feminist woman.

That's kind of right. But it's too easy to get into this situation in China. Many Chinese girls they think they deduce when actually they only abduct the same tricky equation. That old foreign man = experience + is well-off. That's the only thing that run in their sponge-brain of these "ultra-but-no-so-naive" Chinese women. China is corrupt and a preferable go-backwards society, absorbed by their brain-washed established one only political party. Many Chinese even don't like new things but they embark in the attempt to improve their family situation, what make them to cast full contradiction. Most of the times you find a Chinese girl that wants to get marry very young. If so, is because they are poor or hold a big feel of uncertainty in China, plus they are pushed by their parents to do it ASAP. They very attained to believe that foreign developed countries can offer many more things than only well-off situations like; developed countries government is not corrupt and hence its citizens can get some allowance that in china we get but it's not enough to realize some dignity in life.

Lol, that about sums it up. It's pretty gross

right, it's a simple as that...

that's awesome man

That's it... You have been lucky. nothing else.

That ad is redundantly BS... Most of the same.

Dude I was laughing about the girl wanting kfc. I had a Chinese gf who got really pissed at me for not buying her Calving Klein panties in the mall, ( I think it was KK mall in Shenzhen). Stood my ground and when she found out I wasn't backing down she opened her purse and showed me two pairs of CL panties she had just bought before and wanted to see if I would buy her more. Another Chinese gf wanted me to buy her a super expensive condo that I couldn't afford even if I had lived in the USA. It's just women, regardless of where they go they have a ton of insecurities and believe material things will cover those things up.

On the face of it, inahellandahighawater does appear to make sweeping generalizations, come-off as a racist and be very very miserable. IMHO it's based on values and beliefs inherent in China that are rooted in Confucianism. strict adherence to hierarchical authority, family first and foremost and the "it's us against them mentality" - them being anyone who disagrees with their narrow-minded constructs. They are not open to learning about anything that does not agree with what they already believe or know.

I have been married to a Chinese woman who is educated, intelligent and makes lots of money. She is also one of the most ignorant people I've ever had the misfortune of knowing. She uses our kids as tools to emotionally blackmail me; She will verbally abuse our kids to get at me; her mother is her first wife and I always loose in every conflict with her family; they are always right and rarely change their behavior for the better based on objective information. The are old dogs worried about monetary security and little else. They are not keen to learn new tricks and I stopped trying a long time ago.

They've ruined my life and I hate all of them. I was simply a host to their parasitic blood sucking. I am drained dry now, so I have little left to offer them. I would have walked away in less than a heartbeat had the kids not come along. Now, I am trapped with a cold (I think she's screwing other men from various points of data I became aware of) heartless witch who hates me. She is a bully, but I have learned that the usual tactic (for backing a bully down) of fighting back vigorous works nicely.

At this point we agree to keep the peace until our kids are in college. I am slowing building a life away from her, so it won't be a big surprise when we are not together later. 16 years of catering to a bunch of lame retards form the peasantry of Hunan China.

wrote well !

Rose wanted to point out you suck! My uncles wife keeps all the chineese girls away from me when they come to visit. She says they are all garbage girls. If I want to meet nice chineese girls she will find me a few to who just don't want an american or britt to get out of china. After speaking to my step cousin she says most chineese girls will marry anyone to get out. So there the problem we go there to find a good looking partner, whom we think loves us. We end up brinnging hom basically a prostituute!

Can you provide some fact about it? Are you actually married to a chinese lady from China?

I am indeed married to a Chinese lady from Baotou for the past 6 years. However; asking for absolute proof is stupid. Why do you ask for something that short of showing up on your door step with marriage cert and ID in hand is not provable? I stand by my statement that this is entirely your fault. You need serious marriage counseling. She is not a plaything or a dog to do as you wish. You should put yourself in her shoes, but you can not even do that because to do so would mean to know her AND her culture and it's painfully obvious to someone who does know the culture, that you do not. You're like a monkey trying to fly the space shuttle. You have it, but you have no idea how to use it. EDUCATE yourself thoroughly in the culture your partner is from BEFORE getting together. A 24 year old Chinese girl in general has the life experiences and mental social maturity of a 12 year old when compared to western girls, did you know this before getting with her? I bet not. They study like crazy from morning to nigh most of there lives, most have no idea how to even cook to do laundry by that age. I do not say these things to be mean or disrespectful, I am trying to show you the FACTS and I hope you will learn from this and not hurt another Asian lady in the future. Marriage counseling should have been your very first step even BEFORE problems start. Even a car needs maintenance and oil changes, marriages also need work and maintenance if it is to survive.

I genuinely fell very bad for your woman that she had to deal with someone like you.

if anyone spit in my face, they're getting a beat down. what kind of ******* are you dealing with?

Jerrica, I deal with ******* that treat people like ****, who walk around like their **** don't stink. I'm like the movie Hitch instead of people paying me to set them up on a date, they pay me to give them *** Whole advise, its like finging their balls for men and giving them a Back Bone for women, I the method I use is spitting. If I met you, I would know right from the start If I spit in Jerrica face she might kill me, but I still would try it.

no idea if this is meant to be a joke, but laughed hard at Anthonydontlovethesehoes's comment.... I thought barging in and gettin a bit rough ok ok and then blam, spit to the face omg... one way or another no doubt that'd be a game changer

i don't feel sorry for him. that's what he gets for marrying someone based on myths and stereotypes.

no one deserves to be mentally and or physically abused , would you feel the same if this was a woman who married a foreigner ?

of course no one deserves to be abused in any way but i don't think it's a good idea to marry someone based on the stereotypes you have of their particular culture. i would hope that you chose to marry someone based on more than that. hell, i could have told him that not all asian women are subserviant and docile. i once worked with a fillipino nurse that was anything but.

U need to change ur settings so we can chat i have size11 boots so add me now...

well said!

Thank you. :)

I totally agree.