Maybe some inside from a guy who looked the TRP. Sorry it might be long and English is not my first language.

A little background about me, I am 25 yo and I have a regular story that one can hear all the time. I got 3 LTR (2 of 2 year one of 1 year). All those girls was really beautiful and I had always the same line of breakup : I love you but it’s different, I need something else (while crying in front of me). Then short after the breakup (less than one month), while I was coping the breakup, they jumped to another relationship or started to sleep around.

My two first breakup even as hard as they was, I took them pretty well. The last one was (and is) so fucking hard. I got dumped 5 months ago. She is 24 and we was together a little bite over 2 years. Beautiful story : love at the first sight, we traveled together, she told me how lucky she was to have me, we were best friend, we talk about future and wedding/children, she told me how she will love me forever etc… Unfortunately I believed her and her implication in our couple. We succeed together and we failed together (I have my responsibilities in the failure of our couple). As I said, it's a classic story :)

She is a smart girl and had previous boyfriends (one of them was a complete a**hole who dumped her, took her back and dump her again) but I was the first to make love with her. Anyway I got dumped with the special line ^. And I heard now from mutual friends that she has fun go out and have ONS. When I heard that those guys was moron, I was curious (I shouldn’t have done that ⁾ and yes… they are really attractive tall guys. Here the thing, I am a short (5’7) and not attractive guy (I am not Quasimodo), so in the same time, the first couple months I got 6 7 dates, tried to hit on a lot of girls to sleep with them and it was a complete failure (I kissed couple girls the first month but that’s all). Why ? because first I don’t really want the girls (to be honest I still love my ex) and you girls probably feel that, secondly because as some of my friends told me my eyes are empty, of course I am broke inside me.

As a wise man with a lot of friends, I asked some of my friends help. The women for understanding (failed because there is nothing to understand) and men to know what was wrong with me and women (I asked my successfully friends with women), sharing my doubts and my low self-esteem, especially about my aesthetic here was the answers :

• The first one : “don’t say you’re not attractive it means nothing, you need confidence and believe in you. Seduce women is not complicated”. The thing is when we talked couple of girls came to him saying how cute he was.

• The second one who just got dumped too and talk about his ex all the time : “You need to find girls to sleep with you and improve your self worth, it’s not the end of your life”. Even if he was cheating often on his ex, the women around us during this party when I talked with them told me “that’s so cute how he cares about his ex and how sweet it’s to see a man who can love”. He is a really handsome guy.

As a desperate guy… I searched on the internet and found all the bullshit you can imagine but it was interesting. I found TRP, love forum, PUA etc… I had no idea how those things existed. From all my experiences and people surrounding me I think men and women don’t understand the frustration of the other sex. This is some things I conclude from all my readings :

• TRP ask some good questions about the men frustrations but all the AWALT things work for attractive guys and unfortunately a lot of bitter men (who were burned) follow it. I still wonder how it works for the common man,

• TRP focus a lot about self-development which might be good, especially when they talk about do it for you and not for women,

• Woman are human and they are right to have fun. Most men would do the same if they could, that is why I never was mad against my ex gfs. It’s their lifes and I can’t keep them from being happy because of my selfish happiness. But they seemed always better than me when they could have seduce other guys so shortly after our breakup while I stayed alone.

• The Aplha/beta debat is one of the worst thing ever. I am a failure with women and absolutely no self worth when it comes to seduce the other sex. However, I am successful in my job, had several master’s degree, play sports (I was captain in my youth), managed several work’s team, I play music, speak 3 languages, traveled … I still don’t understand when most of guys talk about alpha and probably consider me as a beta but in the same time I could surpass them in a lot of field they love. It happens too much time for me to see big handsome guys and beat them.

• During my new dating journey. I heard a lot, I had fun when I was young but now I want something serious, if you don’t want that go away. I think that indeed really insulting for me. I am a romantic guy and yes I search love (even if now I don’t really believe in it) but what does it means? I am not good enough for you to have fun with me ? Or when some ex came back to me after had fun or breakup with an abusive a**hole, what does it means ? You break my heart now I am good enough for you?

• Most men can fuck almost everything and that is why I really believe that is easier for girls to find someone to fuck. Not be happy or have a good relationship, just fuck…

This is some of a man point of view. I “can” understand why some men are lost and follow TRP but I am not sure all of them can succeed. The point is, I don’t hate woman, I love them. There is a lot of hate against women and some men who believe in them attracted a lot of women. And there is a lot of hate against men and sad stories thinking only the men are a**hole.

All of that leads for a guy like me… to hate… but hate myself and really believe I am not good/attractive enough for women, because it’s a fact that my value as a male is in the eyes of female.

I am a nice guy, a real one with everybody, I never get friendzoned and hate this name (well I got friendzoned but by some c*nt who seduced me and then said “ho no just stay friends”). I can live by myself, be happy because I am a lucky man ! But yes I want to be attractive for women and think that I can have a beautiful girl who love me and I don’t really understand the world now, everybody enjoys but seems unhappy and I stand alone.

Thanks for reddit, there is a lot of different point of view and good debate, I made that because I want you to understand that sometimes, regular men can be lost… And try to understand others because when people are weak (and love makes all people weak). I am trying to change all my vision of relationships and try to find a heatlhy one but it's hard...