全 19 件のコメント

[–]thisisme0007Unplugging 11ポイント12ポイント  (1子コメント)

This is why I dislike reading non married posts in this sub. Fucking next her with zero consequences like I wish I could.

[–]ThatOneDude102[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, the emotional detachment and financial loss from wedding deposits wouldn't necessarily be inconsequential, but I see what you're saying. And I understand it will only get much, much worse if I find myself in this situation AFTER a marriage.

I've just never valued my sexuality above our relationship, but this recent discovery strikes a very dissonant chord with me. Plus, with lifting and catching eyes from other girls nowadays, it's easier to value my sexuality more highly.

[–]abdadaHARD CORE RED 5ポイント6ポイント  (3子コメント)

Learn the 12 levels of dread.

I personally wouldn't LTR a woman who set limits for me that she didn't limit herself to in the past.

[–]fack_yo_couch 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

That is a hard, HARD next.

"[My ex] and I used to do it all the time. That's all we did. I was terrified of pregnancy and it was my idea. He didn't like it but he did it anyways. I only did it for him. It made me feel like I was becoming a person that I wasn't. I don't want to feel like that again."

Her ex ruined her. No thanks. Not interested in a project or a fixer-upper.

[–]ThatOneDude102[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's why it's become such an issue for me. I only found this out 3.5 years into our relationship with a wedding right around the corner...

Every other facet of our relationship is flawless. I doubt I'll find another girl that I'd marry, or at least no time soon. I don't think I'll hard next her, but I'll read up on some good TRP principles and see if I can get stuff changed.

[–]ThatOneDude102[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Reading up and gonna give it a go. If anything, it'll make me a more confident and happy person while potentially getting things back on track.

That's an excellent way to put it. I've been having trouble putting into words by it bothers me so much.

[–]RedPillForever 4ポイント5ポイント  (2子コメント)

I read this as her saying "You're not as high value as my ex, so I don't have to do this.".

[–]ThatOneDude102[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

That's what I'm afraid of. She obviously tried much, much harder to get her ex to like her, but she feels like she has to do nothing for me to like her. I mean, she has a ring now and the wedding is around the corner, what else does she need to do, right?

How do I make her feel like she needs to impress me without negatively affecting the relationship?

[–]thisisme0007Unplugging [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

The relationship is already negatively affected.

Have you done any sidebar reading?

If you are really so close to this wedding lock yourself in a room and read for days straight.

[–]IanIronwoodMarried- MRP MODERATOR 3ポイント4ポイント  (4子コメント)

Turn down the temperature a few degrees. Subtly demonstrate that you feel she gave "the best" to her ex, and gave you leftovers. And the next time she asks you to do something you don't want, tell her that your ex made you do it all the time and you don't like the kind of person it was turning you into. See what happens.

[–]brainbound 4ポイント5ポイント  (2子コメント)

Seems a bit passive-aggressive to me. I'd dread her and if things don't change for OP then next.

[–]IanIronwoodMarried- MRP MODERATOR [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Not every marriage works that way. Those hard-edged ultimatums are fine for some, but a more subtle approach is often called for about something like this.

You aren't going to end the relationship over anal. But you might downgrade her and keep the marriage intact.

[–]ThatOneDude102[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I tried this for a week or so. No initiation of sex on my part, just cold shouldering when we went to bed. No more long embraces before I leave the house, just a quick goodbye.

So far, nothing. She hasn't initiated anything or even brought it up. Will read up on dread and apply.

[–]exbpMarried 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

I guess it comes down to whether you believe she actually loves it and you're just not Chad enough for that treatment, or that she never liked it and only did it to appease a horny boyfriend.

I think you should acknowledge that you're really wanting it to her (seems like that's accomplished) and then start applying some dread. Maybe nope out of regular intercourse here and there too. Even if she doesn't like it much she can still do it occasionally to please you.

[–]ThatOneDude102[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well ultimately, it's me. She did it for me in the beginning when she was trying to impress, but not anymore. She feels that she doesn't need to impress me anymore and go above-and-beyond. She's comfortable being a starfish and letting me jizz on her tits. Good stuff.

That's what I want. I don't need it every single time, I just need it every once in a while. I need to fucking know that I can ravage my (soon to be) wife whenever I want, otherwise there's no point in getting married. I have one life, I don't want to spend it desiring, I'm going to spend it satiating my desires (within reason).

Gonna research and start applying some dread for sure.

[–]jons_throwaway 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Stop all affection. If she ask. Tell her your thinking you situation and relationship, tell her your not satisfied.

[–]dandar4600Unplugging 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

This this happen before or after you committed (with the ring?) Seems to me like when she became sure of your commitment she decided she didn't need to do the anal. Maybe she's truthful that she never liked it but if she never like it then she never would have done it with you. This to me sounds more like she doesn't have to "work" to have your commitment anymore so she only does what she likes best now.

[–]RPAlternate42Unplugging 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

So basically, she only let him fuck her in the ass, and even though he didn't want to, a man has to bust. Knowing them during their relationship, he was constantly distant from her, emotionally and sexually. She only did anal because she wasn't getting any other affection from him.

He didn't pay her any attention (she'll say he's an asshole) and yet she still lets him cum in her asshole every time they had sex.

You are her new nice guy. You don't get to cum in her asshole.

It seems to me if you are an asshole to her you get what the other asshole got. Start dread and start now and don't settle for sex you don't want. If you want anal sex and she says no and you attempt to get through that "no" as LMR and she gives a hard "no" then dust your hands off, tell her you will find some other way to take care of it and go do something else.

No man has to settle for sex he isn't looking for just like she will say she doesn't have to settle for getting the bare minimum time and energy from you...

But as we've seen from her past, bare minimum time and effort is all it apparently takes to allow dude(s) to cum in her asshole.