Summary: I just found out my fiance used to have ONLY anal sex with her ex. Only a few times with me at the beginning of our relationship - this was over 3 years ago. Unsure how to interpret or what to do next.
I'll give a little background here for foundation. My ex and I did anal pretty frequently, and it became quite the fetish of mine. I then met a girl in early 2012 who was a sexual goddess. We were both in college and partied a lot, so no surprise there. But, speaking of surprises, she liked anal. She asked me to do it probably once a week for a month or so. Bonus for me, I wasn't even trying and I snagged one that liked it!
One night, she gets real weird about it and gets super upset. She said "I don't need to do this, I hate this." Well, we do it a couple of more times over the next few months, and then it became a no fly zone and has been ever since. When I asked why, she said how she had it with her ex, it was gross, and it made her feel gross. I respected this. Perhaps she had a bad experience, and it seemed to make her very upset so I didn't press.
3 years later. We're graduated, making awesome salaries, living together, and engaged. All of this time, my anal fetish is getting worse. I only watch anal porn now, and all I think about is anal while we're having sex. I respected her no-anal rule for a couple of years, so I began trying to have it again. This leads to her being pretty upset, and me being even more upset. Why the fuck won't she let me?
I bring up my sexual dissatisfaction to her a week ago and say something needs to change. I try to just do it, and she gets pissed, so we start talking about it. She then says the following:
"[My ex] and I used to do it all the time. That's all we did. I was terrified of pregnancy and it was my idea. He didn't like it but he did it anyways. I only did it for him. It made me feel like I was becoming a person that I wasn't. I don't want to feel like that again."
So basically, she only let him fuck her in the ass, and even though he didn't want to, a man has to bust. Knowing them during their relationship, he was constantly distant from her, emotionally and sexually. She only did anal because she wasn't getting any other affection from him.
So... what the fuck? I thought it was once or twice and they had a shitty (literally) experience or something, not that they fucked in the ass exclusively for over a year. How should I interpret this?
Don't hold back.
Edit: Formatting
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