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What is a secret opinion you have, that if said outloud, would make you sound like a prick? (self.AskReddit)

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[–]ETEIZNAL 263ポイント264ポイント  (151子コメント)

Transgenders should be called he/she based on what they were born as. Not as what they became.

[–]CrotchFungus 24ポイント25ポイント  (6子コメント)

Transgenders creep the fuck out of me

[–]SkylaF 8ポイント9ポイント  (4子コメント)

May I ask why?

[–]Scarscape[🍰] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not OP, and I'm not really that "freaked out" by trans people, although I do find it a little weird. My reason, and probably the reason for other people who feel the same as /u/CrotchFungus, is that it's different and unnatural. Like, I didn't know trans people were a real thing until I was like 12 or 13. I just thought it was kind of a joke when I first heard of it and when I realized they were real, it struck me as weird. Idk for sure if that's his reason tho

[–]TheWorstGrease 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

My best guess would be the contradiction that peoples brains kind of automatically figure out.

If you are walking down the street and see a trans woman a distance away coming toward you, then from a distance you are just seeing a woman and don't think much of it.

When you get close your brain quickly picks up on things like jaw line, cheek bones, fat distribution and such which indicate a conflict. You see physical indicators of a male but in a "wrapper" of a female such as clothes and makeup. Its partially subconscious, people just immediately pick up on these things.

If its a new thing for you to encounter then I can see how someone could be creeped out with them trying to resolve what they see.

[–]say-something-nice [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

It's just weird.... i feel ashamed at myself for my reactions upon meeting transgender, i have yet to get beyond the that "thing" is a trany stage, i just can't get myself to just react to them like a regular person. I have dozens of gay friends, i've even dressed up in drag once but a few weeks a go, a worker (who was trans) in the work place came into our lab to ask some advice with lead and my only reaction was to get out of there and escape the uncomfortable feeling.

[–]Chel_of_the_sea [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

It's a very denigrated thing in our society. It takes time, exposure, and willpower to get past those sorts of snap reactions, one time just isn't enough. Don't beat yourself up for having the reaction, but do your best to chip away at it and don't let it dictate your behavior.

[–]IAmTryingToOffendYou [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

You said it so I didn't have to. Upvote.

[–]Cbitezvagoo 40ポイント41ポイント  (10子コメント)

biology doesn't lie.

[–]michaelnoir -3ポイント-2ポイント  (0子コメント)

It doesn't, but there is such a thing as people born with disorders which make their biological sex hard to determine. This doesn't apply to Caitlyn Jenner though, who is biologically 100% male.

[–]ravenklaw -2ポイント-1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Did you know the finger-length ratio of the ring and index fingers is a marker for gender identity disorder and homosexuality?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prenatal_hormones_and_sexual_orientation

One biological cause of homosexuality, for example:

"Most extensively studied in organizational effects of hormones is congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH). CAH is a genetic disease that results in exposure to high levels of androgens beginning early in gestation. Girls with CAH are born with masculinized genitalia, which is corrected surgically as soon as possible. CAH provides the opportunity for natural experiments, as people with CAH can be compared to people without it. However, "CAH is not a perfect experiment", since, "social responses to masculinized genitalia or factors related to the disease itself" can confound results. Nonetheless several studies have shown that CAH has a clear but not determining influence on sexual orientation; women with CAH are less likely to be exclusively heterosexual than are other women."

I believe epigenetics are the main reason why people are born LGBTQ.

[–]Chel_of_the_sea [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

FYI: 'Gender identity disorder' is an outdated diagnosis in the U.S. Being trans per se is no longer classified as a disorder.

[–]SkylaF 10ポイント11ポイント  (1子コメント)

No, it doesn't.

[–]Canadian_Infidel [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Yeah but for all we know there is a difference between male and female brains and perhaps some people develop as one gender mentally and another physically. It could easily be some hiccup in the womb with hormones or gene expression or who knows what. We know nothing about how stuff like that really works. I mean there is something like a 40% suicide rate for these people so I think we should take them seriously. I'm glad I don't have that complexity to deal with and I wish them, like anyone, the best and that they find some happiness. People should be able to do whatever they want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.

[–]GinervaPotter 258ポイント259ポイント  (60子コメント)

I call you whatever you look like. Don't get pissy with me if you "identify as a man" but you're wearing pink lipstick and a traditionally feminine haircut.

Edit: on that note, is it really so terrible of me to not want the world to become more androgynous? Like, I'm straight. If I'm out trolling for dick, I'm going to go after someone that looks like they have a dick. I would be extremely disappointed if I got home with a man and it turned out that this man had a vagina. Is it really so terrible of me to want to be able to tell the difference just by looking at you? Is it?

I'm really not against trans people. You do you. I can't tell you what you feel or want. But I'd still like to be able to tell what equipment you have without having to ask.

[–]Tamerlin 47ポイント48ポイント  (9子コメント)

This is the most entitled post I've read in this thread. At least a lot of other people are arguing logically for their dickish opinions. You're just arguing that your convenience is more important than other people's emotions, and not to a small degree.

[–]phrygN 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't think it's fair to get upset at someone for calling you a man/woman if that is what you traditionally look like. By all means correct them if you prefer to be called something else. If they argue with you beyond that then they are just a dick.

[–]sirmadam [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Trans people have a mental disorder though…

[–]petalpie 20ポイント21ポイント  (8子コメント)

Tbh if someone requests specific pronouns I will use them though. It's a really simple thing to do and it can mean a lot.

[–]celticguy08 -3ポイント-2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Is this beyond he/she/they? Because if so, you are essentially allowing people to use language as an accessory, and enabling people to fulfill their sought-after oppression when someone comes along and doesn't use their individualized pronouns.

[–]petalpie 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well yes, but hear me out on this one.

Sometimes neopronouns can looks ok written down, and people are like "yes, this is me!". Hearing them regularly spoken out loud, though, they might realise how silly they sound.

[–]ikorolou -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

But if it's not apparent people should clarify right? Like Caitlyn Jenner looks female today, so seeing someone who looks like her, it would be obvious to call her a her. But if Caitlyn still looked like Bruce, calling her a him on initial sight would be forgivable and a quick "actually I prefer she" would just simplify the whole thing.

I'm not asking intrusive questions or trying to look down on transgender people, I'm just saying, if you look like a dude I'm calling you dude

[–]GinervaPotter 8ポイント9ポイント  (2子コメント)

Well I'll do that if they tell me. If they don't tell me, and I use one, and they get angry about it, that's what I'm talking about.

[–]suliaulen 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Has that ever happened to you? All the trans people I know have given me quite a few tries to get the pronouns right, and they don't care when I fuck up because they know I'm trying. I've only seen them get angry when it's obvious that other people don't care.

[–]petalpie 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh yeah, if they haven't told you then wtf. If I'm in doubt I prefer to ask, even if that has also gotten me yelled at once or twice

[–]DoctorWaluigiTime 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

The trick is requesting. I'll certainly call you whatever you want, but don't pitch a fit because I guessed wrong.

[–]SockPinocchio 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think if your preference of pronouns is something that no one would guess without asking, then you need to take a good long look at why you're really doing this. I have no problem with trans people, one of my best friends is trans and I've been nothing but supportive of it, but I feel like no real trans person goes to all the social, financial, physical and psychological hardship of transitioning just to have everyone not think of them as just the gender they transitioned into.

[–]BriaCass -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I agree with you. I hate when I can't tell the difference between a woman or a man. Like please pick one gender and be that. Thanks

[–]MarineByeologist 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

People shouldn't be upset if you misgender them as long as you correct yourself. If you're just not into them there's no reason to go out of the way and still use incorrect pronouns.

I'm pretty sure a trans person will let you know before you get to fuck. Any decent trans person would anyway.

It's not their job to let you know if they have a dick or not. It's not really any of your business unless you are aeriously considering getting together. Maybe it's just me but I think just "trolling for dick" isn't the best life choice you could be making. Since it's unpopular opinions time I'll say it, I think one night stands aren't classy.

Pink lipstick and traditionaly female haircuts on men is a drag queen thing. I think you've been trolling for dick on the wrong side of town if you encounter these issues of misgendering and not knowing what package on a regular basis.

[–]adrianmakedonski 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

I feel like it should be on the trans person to tell you beforehand.

[–]aido727 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Don't get pissy with me if you "identify as a man" but you're wearing pink lipstick and a traditionally feminine haircut.

I think you're hitting on a different issue with that description. I agree that people shouldn't get pissy at anyone for using a descriptor that matches what they can observe.

On the other hand, I respect them wanting to be called based on what they identify as... the cross over is them outwardly displaying themselves differently to what they identify as which is just all kinds of confusing...

[–]ikorolou 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Without the edit, you would've been so much better off. Like as much as I am for transgender rights and all, its a very very tiny amount of people in the world. Why the fuck would you be a bad person for assuming that someone who looks like a woman identifies as a women? If you're wrong I'd assume a polite correction would be all you'd need right?

Like transgender people should be allowed to do their thing, no disagreements there, but messing up someones gender does happen with non-transgender people occasionally as well, and people just gotta make a quick correction. I'm very willing to be polite if people are willing to be polite back.

[–]dumbosrogers 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's definitely going to be an issue in the near future, but I think rather than change treatment of people who feel dissociated from their gender, our attitudes of how to approach people are definitely going to change. It's fine if you don't want to do or date trans people, your choice, but I do think in the future it'll become better for us to just ask rather than try to guess.

[–]dankmernes 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

It seems like most of your issues could be addressed by getting glasses, drinking less, and embracing your hidden lust for package delivery in the servants entrance.

[–]Chel_of_the_sea [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Is it really so terrible of me to want to be able to tell the difference just by looking at you? Is it?

Kinda, yes. Why do you feel you have the right to know what is in absolutely everyones' pants?

[–]Creiz -2ポイント-1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I see it differently. I call people by what I perceive they are. A man in a dress will be a "he". A girl with the lavish hairstyle and make up in cargo pants will still be a "she". Unless they pass as the other gender. A man who looks like a woman in all aspects will be a "she" and vice-versa.

That brings me to another thing. If you're Trans, and out yourself, don't forget that you live in society. It's not because you decided to go public that you will be treated as the gender you identify at, no questions asked. It's your job to convince us to. You know you're going to be regarded as a goddamned freak for a while. You should be prepared for that. It's a long and arduous process. The results are not immediately noticeable. You're right inside the uncanny valley. Don't go cocking up a gun and threaten to kill yourself because a stranger says you look like your biological gender. You want to be called your identified gender? Look like it. Act like it. Don't expect to be called a woman when you look like a drag queen.

And while we're at it, when you finally pass. You will, don't worry. Please have the decency to tell a stranger who's hitting on you that you're still packing. If he's okay with it? Good! If not? Well being called a disgusting bitch is way better than being beaten or risking to be killed. People react differently than they do in your little bubble. You're safety comes first, don't forget there are men who'll be plenty fine with your junk. Stay clear of those who aren't.

[–]schizoidvoid [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

You really have no idea how this whole thing works, do you.

[–]Bronco_Corgi 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's a good think you are in the minority.

[–]SmartAlec105 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

The thing is, a person born with male genitals that says they are female was born as a female mentally but a male physically.

[–]Paradigmist 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

[Citation], for anyone wondering. Transgender individuals have brain patterns more closely aligning with their perceived gender than their birth gender.

[–]Tamerlin 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

Let's call everyone by their birth name, as well. No more Elton Johns or Madonnas.

Honestly, that ones even worse. Transgender people feel they truly ARE a certain gender, while artists just choose what's cool. We need to stop this unnatural madness.

[–]desker -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

But what would become of my recently established postmortem SRS for game animals? You shot a buck when you only had doe tags? Not a problem I've got a sharp knife and a sewing kit.

[–]Jimbles_Nontrombo 145ポイント146ポイント  (9子コメント)

I hope I don't come off as hostile, but why not just refer to them how they want to be? People go through a tremendous effort to get surgeries and sex changes so they can feel more themselves, and they're not hurting anyone, so why not respect the process and the person?

[–]ferp10 3ポイント4ポイント  (3子コメント)

If I know someone, of course I'm going to call them by the name that they request. It's that simple.

But I had someone give me attitude because I referred to the "Bradley Manning trial". Perhaps they assumed it's the law that I should even be aware that he switched to Chelsea after the trial. I can't help that my image of a public feature was centered around a court case where he was male. His personal life and the the fact that he is now she has no relevance to me whatsoever. The trial of Bradley Manning does.

I don't even care about Chelsea or her choices! Do whatever the fuck you want. The thing that rustles my jimmies is the self-important douche who got annoyed at me for not keeping tabs on a public figure. It was like being shamed with maximum self-righteousness for not knowing what's on MTV.

[–]SkylaF 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

As a trans person, I can testify that people can definitely be overly defensive about this in particular. Sorry that someone was an asshole, but please don't let this shape your opinion of trans people as a whole. Most of us just want to live our lives.

[–]theltrtduck 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

Ok, as a trans person (/r/asablackman, anyone?), I don't think you did anything wrong by calling it the Bradley Manning trial. You had no idea, and even if you did, if you called it that because that's the name associated with the trial, I'd be cool. Now, if you were going around misgendering people because you think trans people are icky or something, then I'd think you're an asshole, but it doesn't sound like you are.

[–]mfball 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I agree with you, but I could also just as easily see how someone would get reflexively upset about hearing "the Bradley Manning trial" since SO many people were deliberately being dicks and misgendering Chelsea Manning to make a point. So even if the person above just didn't know, I wouldn't be surprised if the person who got mad about it had already heard like twelve other people saying there's no way they'd call "Bradley" a woman, etc., and just snapped.

[–]emphesym -2ポイント-1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm not comment OP but I see being trans as a mental illness and I feel uncomfortable enabling it

[–]Paradigmist 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Do you consider homosexuality to be a "mental illness"? If so, do you think that current societal trends "enable" it?

[–]traveller1088 -3ポイント-2ポイント  (1子コメント)

They are hurting all the guys they have sex with who later found out they had sex with a man not a woman.

[–]Jimbles_Nontrombo 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Except most trans people tell their partners first, and if they don't, I doubt they ever will. So boo hoo, poor men.

[–]Jefftheperson 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I feel Im crossing an invisible line if I call them the wrong thing because often they're called what they don't want to be called so it invokes some (natural) frustration.

[–]kosovola 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

Why though? If they prefer to be prefered he/she then why not just be polite and do that?

[–]Voltrondemort 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

How does it hurt you to call them by the gender they prefer? It's such a small thing for you and such a big deal for them.

[–]starlit_moon 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah, but how does it effect you? If they want to be called something different that's their decision. Doesn't matter what you think or what they were born as. Call them what you want behind their back but to their face it's a small thing to do just to be nice and respectful.

[–]ValiantSerpant 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Would you call Bono Paul David Hewson? Would you call Snoop Dogg Calvin Cordozar Broadus, Jr.? Would you call Lady Gaga Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta? Why do you call these people what they want to be called but not transgenders?

[–]SaveTheSpycrabs 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Maybe when it is necessary, like for a doctor's office.

[–]rinnip 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not as what they think they became

FTFY

[–]2600forlife -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think they should be labeled by the results of the "does it have a penis?" test...

[–]greyGoop8 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I just don't get why people have such strong emotional opinions about this issue. I don't care, I'll call you a tomato if it makes your life better. What do I care?

[–]gregariousbarbarian 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Being "technically correct" and being respectful aren't always the same thing

[–]Random-Miser 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Meh in my opinion I would go for whatever they currently look like. A stranger looking at them should get the proper impression one way or the other.

[–]ArkGuardian 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I hope you understand the problems that cause when their transistion goes past a certain point. Like there are literally muscular men who used to be women with full on beards and genitalia who have to use the women's restroom because of laws like that.

[–]meowmeowsss 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

this is something im not ready for. I understand , i don't have a right to say who or what you are. Hell if your gay, so be it!, but I'm 27 years old, and if I'm dating what looks like a girl, and sounds like a girl, but cant perform like a girl, I'm going to be some pissed off. This also raises questions about UFC/BOxing or sports for that matter. Also what about middle/High schools who uses what bathroom? are they directed to the teachers lounge? Future can be bright and wonderful, but this whole transgender thing is just really really...weird..and awkward to me . I would never make fun of someone for how they feel emotionally, I guess I'm just no their yet. On another point I'm really happy Gay Marriage was legalized, not that I'm gay, i just firmly believe if two people love each other than fine, that's the way it is :)

[–]anon11472 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm more in the camp of being willing to call people as they wish to be called...but if you occupy the area between the sexes you need to accept that sometimes people will be wrong. You can correct them politely.

Imagine you have a very common name but you decide as an adult to change your name to something very difficult to pronounce. You have every right to with to be called by that name. But you cannot get mad if people who used to know you by your old name accidentally use it, or if people struggle with how to pronounce your new name and don't get it right on the first try.

[–]NotTheStatusQuo 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't necessarily think you have to accept them as being the gender they want to be, but I think it's just common courtesy to call someone what they want to be called. Whether it's a nickname or a different pronoun, it's trivially easy and it makes them feel better so why not?

[–]The_LionTurtle 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Eh, it doesn't take me any effort to call them what they want. I'd do it just to be supportive if they were a friend and make them feel better about undergoing such a difficult and honestly strange process.

[–]suspicious_moose [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I have a very lovely trans friend, who had already transitioned to female by the time I met her. I can't imagine calling her by male pronouns.. Frankly she's significantly more feminine than I've ever been.

[–]sirmadam [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

They all have a mental disorder. Why do we call a shrink on someone who says "I am a penguin" but not on a boy who says "I am a girl"? We've become far too accepting and our tax $/£/€ are going to swap a mental persons gender? Fuck. That. Noise.