70
71

Reddit's obessesion of "tough love". (self.circlebroke)

SpaceshipNamedDesire が 投稿

Sorry that I do not have a post to reference but reddit has been bothering me a lot lately, between the racism, transphobia, and myriad of other things but those have been discussed to death over these last few months.

The tough love thing is nothing new but it seems like some redditors love these kinds of things, take that recent video of the fitness instructor yelling about obesity. Now I think the guy is right but do people not understand how to deliver messages or communicate with others? Do they really think that yelling is really gonna deliver the message to the target audience or just circlejerk it with the people who already agree?

How many tough love posts full of cursing have we seen in BestOf or other subs? People cannot actually believe this shit helps anyone.

Actually now that I write this, I feel like some people just want to be angry and that amazes me. Maybe it is because i've always been calm, but is not scary how many people seem eager to jump at the chance to get angry and scream? I've been on the internet for a long time but the amount of anger and hate coming from this website is unreal.

全 89 件のコメント
並べ替え:
ベスト
トップ新着論争中古い順Q&A

[–]Nurglings 97ポイント98ポイント  (13子コメント)

The reason is simple, it lets them be a complete asshole while still thinking they are the good guy in the conflict

I'm not anti-fat people, I'm pro-health

I'm not anti-women in gaming, I'm pro-ethics in gaming journalism

I'm not pro-/r/coontown, I'm pro-free speech.

Of course anyone with a bit of self-awareness can see through this but that isn't going to stop Redditors from telling the lie to themselves.

[–]SpaceshipNamedDesire[S] 27ポイント28ポイント  (11子コメント)

I think it mostly comes down to they have no idea how to communicate in any other fashion. Then they get validated by the "As a fat/black/etc. person, this helped me.." posts

[–]Nurglings 25ポイント26ポイント  (10子コメント)

I think it mostly comes down to they have no idea how to communicate in any other fashion.

This is what happens when you think people like Dr. House are role models for how you should treat others.

[–]SpaceshipNamedDesire[S] 21ポイント22ポイント  (9子コメント)

Nothing gets me more than when a main character is obviously written to be "broken," but people want to emulate them. Just look at House, Batman, or any of those crime show main characters.

[–]Haleljacob 15ポイント16ポイント  (7子コメント)

House, Barney Stinson, Don Draper...

[–]madi_lana 18ポイント19ポイント  (6子コメント)

Walter freakin white

[–]Batmanius7 7ポイント8ポイント  (5子コメント)

Reddit loves fellating Walter White even though he's one of the most evil bastards I've ever seen on TV.

[–]duyjo 5ポイント6ポイント  (4子コメント)

BUT WHAT ABOUT LE FEEEVIL SKYLER BITCH?

[–]Batmanius7 4ポイント5ポイント  (3子コメント)

I never got why Skyler got so much shit. Her husband was a fucking drug lord for God's sake. Her reactions seemed pretty normal to me.

[–]madi_lana 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

le female

le turkey bacon

le unenthusiastic handjob

[–]duyjo 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

I used to live in the dangerous part of Mexico. That is, the North. I personally feel the North East is not as dangerous as the news make the North West look, but that is because I know plenty of people there, and they feel a lot safer and live more happily than what I used to. I finally moved back to the Capital, which is where I am from, and although there are plenty robberies here, I feel a lot more safe. Anyways, I heard about Breaking Bad back when season 4 was airing. A friend I had by then told me about it, and what a badass the guy was. It is personally one of my favorite shows, and I have seen it plenty of times. When we discussed the show the Monday, right after I watched the pilot a night before, he ―not a redditor― basically circlejerked to me, saying that Walter was great and a badass, and why Skyler was a bitch. I think that, on my situation, he glorified Walter because he glorifies real drug dealers and kingpins. It is common that on Northern Mexico plenty of kids want to be narcos, and girls want to be narcos' girlfriends. And I was spoiled the first time I watched the program because of that. I felt Walter was just frustrated and wanted to "relax" in a twisted way. But the more I watched the show, the less I rooted to the guy. I feel ashamed to say it took me long, right after Felina aired and I saw it on air. That's when I realized Walter was a dick. Then I rewatched season 5A, and I could notice how Walter was creepy. I think that, at least on my experience, it was my social enviroment plus the great writing. The writers made Walter become more and more evil while being in danger, and being kind of forced and dragged to it (except the events in the pilot, which were his fault). So I guess you can really root to the guy and wanting him to be safe if you believe his childish lies.

Last time I rewatched the whole show, Walt was evil since the beginning.

[–]SaitoHawkeye 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

A lot of boring people think that it would be better to be broken than be boring...at least (those kind of) broken fictional characters are interesting.

I mean we're all a little bit broken anyway at least it would be nice if our brokenness made us cool and rich and dangerous, instead of just sad and tired.

[–]Aurailious 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm not anti-reddit, I am pro-smug.

[–]haalidoodi 62ポイント63ポイント  (13子コメント)

On top of what /u/Nurglings said, I think that the idea of "tough love" is a critical part of the hypermasculinity that often pervades this site (think beards, steaks, plaid and so on). After all, being nice and compassionate is so feminine, you know? We men are cold and logical, no room for emotion here!

[–]SpaceshipNamedDesire[S] 40ポイント41ポイント  (5子コメント)

I honestly do not know what is worst, those things or the "as a 7 foot tall 250lb man full of muscles who chops down wood for a living, I cried" posts.

Because we all know, you cannot show emotion until you validate your manliness first.

[–]allhailzorp 17ポイント18ポイント  (2子コメント)

Apparently redditors cry for the slightest things. I realize some posts are touching, but the amount of 'onions' comments is just annoying

[–]SpaceshipNamedDesire[S] 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

Id rather every comment be about onions than hate to be fair.

[–]wholetyouinhere 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah, but talking about "onions" and "feels" is yet still more dissociation from actual emotions. That's why they use those overwrought "jokes" to convey the message that they have been emotionally affected.

[–]vitsikany 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

"I REALLY HOPE YOU ALL REALIZE THAT AS A MANLY MALE MAN I LOWERED MYSELF TO A PATHETIC FEMALE STATUS AND SHED A TEAR OVER THIS PIC OF A DOG."

[–]NoPast 27ポイント28ポイント  (0子コメント)

critical part of the hypermasculinity

aka toxic masculinity

[–]Jeanpuetz 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's also a very common trope in movies and some video games, woudln't be surprised if that had something to do with it.

You know, there's a character that is depressed because of something and the hero has to "snap him out of it".

[–]locallyunscene 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

That and the strong libertarian streak of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. As an Ubermensch I could have so much more money if I just tried harder.

[–]SaitoHawkeye 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

Plaid....?

[–]haalidoodi 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

You know, lumberjack. Very manly, grrr.

[–]martypanic 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

plaid

hey back off man

[–]HamburgerDude 26ポイント27ポイント  (1子コメント)

I like what Chomsky says about tough love. I'm not a fan of bit sized quotes but it's really applicable here IMO.

"Tough love" is just the right phrase: love for the rich and privileged, tough for everyone else."

[–]BadIdeaSociety 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

My favorite part of the concept of "tough love" is the idea that their people have love in their minds and not the desire to pontificate and condescend others.

Public Service Announcement: When someone says "We need to have a serious conversion about race in America," they mean "As a white guy, I want to vent at black people and say the 'n-word' a bunch of times and have the black people within earshot to nod and say nothing in response."

[–]Enlightened-Youth 23ポイント24ポイント  (1子コメント)

Harshness = truth on Reddit. Reddit will eat right out of your hand as long as you say something blunt and use big and/or a lot of words. This site is a rage factory because that's how they convince others and themselves that they are "bravely" facing reality while everyone else keeps their heads in the sand.

[–]Paradigm240 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

You're right. And here we are, bravely facing the reality of those who think they're bravely facing the reality of those who have their heads in the sand, while in fact having their own heads in the sand!

[–]EnterMeTayne 21ポイント22ポイント  (7子コメント)

"a culture where every kid gets a trophy"

This sentiment is discussed ad nauseam. I don't disagree with it, but my god the way people jerk about it.

[–]NoPast 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

"a culture where every kid gets a trophy" This sentiment is discussed ad nauseam. I don't disagree with it, but my god the way people jerk about it.

Welcome to neoliberal cultural hegemony: Rich Kids Of Instagram are perfectly fine because they get cookies paied by their parents money so why are you so jealous fucking commie, poor little John get a C- in the last test because he tried hard despise coming from terrible socioecon family? that meant giving a trophy to every kid!! Why John can't compete in a REAL meritocracy?? plz resume Reagan/Thatcher bodies we need a new president

[–]SpaceshipNamedDesire[S] 8ポイント9ポイント  (4子コメント)

Nothing reddit hates more than anyone winning anything if it isnt for "science." And even then, better not be a minority.

[–]ClearlyClaire 11ポイント12ポイント  (1子コメント)

And yet, they worship comics, movies, and video games: three art forms which require an incredible amount of work by artists and writers alike. And yet God forbid you try to criticize their artistic merits, unless you're questioning why the writers would choice to include characters that weren't straight white men.

[–]CazwellNA 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well of course; that's not ethical game journalism /s

[–]madi_lana 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

Oh, they hate people winning for science too, unless it's Tesla/black science man/reddit's darling of the week. Just check any comments on a kid winning some scientific award:

"Oh this is cute and nice for a 16 year old but let me explain why it's actually quite shit and nothing special or innovative to feel better about my own lack of accomplishments. Did you guys know I got straight A's and B's in high school without even trying?"

[–]SpaceshipNamedDesire[S] 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Let's not forget about every post about a study, where the top comments are:

"I didnt read it, but who didnt know this already" "Correlation =/= causation" "Study sample size is too small"

The last one gets me the most, self proclaimed genuises with no idea of the real world and how funding works.

[–]Acer_saccharum 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

And they way they project it onto everything/everyone they don't like. You disagree with them? You must be a special snowflake.

[–]ponyproblematic 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

But remember, the only reason redditors aren't feminists is because this one time at a protest a feminist yelled at men who were going out of their way to bother her, and nobody will ever listen to you if you yell!

But yeah, it's just a way for them to say asshole shit and pretend it's for your own good.

[–]smikims 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

As much as reddit loves to hate on fundies this is literally the exact same rhetoric religious conservatives use when dealing with gay, trans, poor people, etc. "Truth in love!"

[–]paradoxasauruser 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

it's also important to note that tough love requires, well, love. you can't just waltz into someone's life on reddit, say something you know is true, and expect it to go over because you're being harsh. the whole point of tough love being tough is that it's criticism coming from someone whom you know well enough and who knows you well enough that they legitimately care for you, not some anonymous fuckwit on reddit who may or may not be masturbating while typing up his helpful manifesto.

[–]SpaceshipNamedDesire[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Everytime you see a tough love post I would bet it's not anything about love, and all about appearing tough.

[–]GT2018 22ポイント23ポイント  (47子コメント)

They love tough love until some 16 year old's parents are against marijuana, then it's straight to /r/raisedByNarcissists to vent about abuse by their Nmom.

Side note, am I the only one who feels really put off by this "N[relation]" thing? It just seems shitty to put someone in that label that all they are is an Nmom or Ndad or Nsister or whatever, when they're actually a family member who 9 times out of 10 even on that subreddit is trying their hardest.

[–]j_damp 15ポイント16ポイント  (30子コメント)

they're actually a family member who 9 times out of 10 even on that subreddit is trying their hardest.

...Are you making excuses for abusive, toxic behavior? Are you fucking kidding me? Granted, I haven't been on RBN in a while, and none of my family members have NPD, but what the fuck? People already have plenty of trouble sticking up for themselves around abusive family members because "they're your family though," "they've been under a lot of stress," "think of all of the things they've done for you though," and here you are on circlebroke tut-tutting them for...

You know what, whatever. NPD can't real because circlebroke smugs real. Good for you.

[–]GT2018 -3ポイント-2ポイント  (9子コメント)

They're people too. When you cut your parents off, you're taking a child away from their parents, which is terrible for the parents. Sometimes you need to do that, I'm just saying you better be damn sure. Give them some additional slack for being family, make sure they aren't just under stress, and yeah, consider what they've done for you.

[–]j_damp 5ポイント6ポイント  (8子コメント)

You're pathetic. This is the exact attitude that makes people afraid to come out about having been abused by family, and encourages them to not take steps to remove themselves from abusive situations - "sure, your parents emotionally abused you, but have you considered THEIR feelings by cutting them off?" I hope to god you just say this shit on the internet and not to people in real life.

[–]GT2018 -1ポイント0ポイント  (7子コメント)

Actually I only say this on the Internet, and I wouldn't go into their community and say it.

I'm not referring to emotional abuse tho. I'm talking about minor stuff that people post as if it's abuse.

[–]j_damp 2ポイント3ポイント  (6子コメント)

I wouldn't go into their community and say it.

Oh good, you just smugly judge them from afar. How noble of you.

I'm not referring to emotional abuse tho. I'm talking about minor stuff that people post as if it's abuse.

"I'm not referring to things that pass my personal standard for whether or not they were abused, just those that I, GT2018, have deemed to be unworthy."

[–]GT2018 0ポイント1ポイント  (5子コメント)

Yeah I guess that's one way to put it. If say, a parent buys their kid ice cream, I wouldn't call that abuse. If they ban socializing outside of school/clubs on a weekday, I wouldn't call that abuse. If they take you to a baseball game, I wouldn't call that abuse. If they beat the shit out of you with a baseball bat, I would call that abuse.

[–]glagola 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

I actually would call that second one abuse, especially when applied to older kids, like middle and high school age, because that's basically cutting off their support network outside of home. It's the same kind of quiet abuse as people controlling their stay-at-home partner's access to money.

[–]GT2018 -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's different because a child under the age of 18 is living rent free (usually) in the parent's house, with everything provided for them, and they aren't old enough to be making decisions anyway. In the situation I'm familiar with, their job is to make good grades. That's it. They don't have a real job. If the parent deems that studying is more important than going out and hanging out with friends on a school night, that's absolutely within the parent's rights to decide. If it's so abusive and unfair, they're welcome to go leave and try to make it on their own. But it's so whiny and entitled to sit here eating the parents' food, living in their house, driving their cars, watching their TV, etc etc etc but call it "abusive" for them to make rules.

[–]j_damp 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

"Like, if you get drunk and have sex, that's not rape, y'know? Like, shut up, you weren't raped. Maybe if you were really drunk, and he was only a little drunk, maybe I would say that's rape? But if you were both drinking, I'm not going to be convinced that it was a legitimate rape. It's my place to decide whether or not you were raped, you shouldn't expect to be believed just because you're posting in a safe space for rape victims. If you post that you were both drinking, sorry, I'm not convinced!"

[–]GT2018 -2ポイント-1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Not referring to rape. But if you looked at my examples, they're more equivalent to like, it wasn't rape because he just bumped into you in the hall and was like "oh sorry" and then you never saw each other again. There's some stuff that absolutely is not rape and some stuff that absolutely is not abuse.

[–]FREEDOMUS_PEACH 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

A better example is long-term sexual abuse than rape. "Sure, being groped by a parent is sexual abuse, but what if they're just stroking your hair? Asking inappropriate sexual questions? Is that reeeeally a big deal? Are you sure you're not just looking for attention? They're paying all that money to put a roof over your head! Let them be a little creepy, what's the big deal?"

[–]TotesMessenger 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)

[–]Paradigm240 12ポイント13ポイント  (12子コメント)

That's another "tough love" paradigm that irritates the crap out of me. "Oh, your parents have reasonable boundaries for your rebellious teenage ass? Well fuck them because they're just narcissists and you should move out and never look back!"

I used to get downvotes and hate for mentioning that I was 18 and still lived at home. Like "come on, dude, you should have given your family the finger long ago and be out in the real world".

[–]GT2018 11ポイント12ポイント  (11子コメント)

Well that's silly. My unpopular reddit opinion, maybe I'll go to askreddit and post it in the next hourly unpopular opinion thread, is that parents almost always deserve the benefit of the doubt. I know there are crazy situations where parents molest their kids or beat their kids or something like that, and obviously those people suck, but in general. I often see on reddit this idea that "they have to earn your respect just like anyone else would, they're just people who happen to be in your life." Like ok if anybody who wasn't your parent gave you rent free housing for like over a decade, and food, and loved you unconditionally, you would absolutely give that person a little respect, right? Even if they do like give you a curfew on weeknights or whatever redditors are moaning about. Cmon reddit you selfish assholes

[–]j_damp 6ポイント7ポイント  (7子コメント)

I know there are crazy situations where parents molest their kids or beat their kids or something like that, and obviously those people suck, but-

"-but I've decided abusive toxic behavior isn't real unless they're literally physically assaulting you. NPD and cluster B personality disorders don't exist. Nobody is ever emotionally abusive, and anyone who claims abuse is a whiny teenager bitching about curfew and weed, even if they're in their 20's and don't live at home."

Maybe your problems when you were growing up were curfew and weed, it really shines through in your post, but having known people in real life who had a parent with full-blown, raging NPD, take some advice: check your fucking privilege, you smug little shit.

[–]GT2018 -3ポイント-2ポイント  (6子コメント)

Eh, I never had a curfew or smoked weed personally, so maybe these things are more stressful than I know of. I would include people with "full-blown, raging NPD" as an exception. Like I say, sometimes this stuff is pretty bad but very often it's really not that serious. Some of the stuff on there is like recommending going "NC" (No Contact - literally cutting your parents out of your life) because of harassing voicemails. Dude they raised you, cut them some slack.

[–]j_damp 1ポイント2ポイント  (5子コメント)

I would include people with "full-blown, raging NPD" as an exception.

"I would say legitimate rape is an exception. It's mostly just whores getting drunk and regretting it later."

because of harassing voicemails.

Or, because of harassing voicemails and a lifetime of related abusive behavior? Gosh, what's more likely? Good thing you've decided you have enough to go on to decide for them that they're being unfair on their parents.

Dude they raised you, cut them some slack.

Yep, people just cut off their parents (and by doing so basically write themselves out of their will) for a lark. People take that decision super lightly. It's not like people who are being abused keep themselves in abusive situations for years and years exactly because cutting off one's parents is so emotionally difficult and gut-wrenching. They mostly do it for kicks.

[–]GT2018 -2ポイント-1ポイント  (4子コメント)

This really has nothing to do with rape.

I'm just going by what gets posted man. There could be so much more that they didn't post but I wouldn't know about that.

I mean, if it's serious shit, go ahead. My whole point is basically like, I may cut a friend off for repeatedly being flaky or something. The standard for parents should be much higher. The stuff that I saw on RBN was mild.

[–]j_damp 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

This really has nothing to do with rape.

It absolutely does. People who are abused or raped stay silent because they fear being ridiculed, told to "be more fair" on their parents, and are interrogated as being basically dishonest.

I'm just going by what gets posted man. There could be so much more that they didn't post but I wouldn't know about that.

And instead of giving them the benefit of the doubt, you're deciding they're self-pitying attention-whores.

You know, when they say "Nparent," they're communicating that there is so much more they're not posting, you dumb fuck.

My whole point is basically like, I may cut a friend off for repeatedly being flaky or something. The standard for parents should be much higher.

How fucking hard is this for you to grasp? Cutting off parents is already incredibly hard for even people who were sexually abused to go through with. You don't need to be advocating for victims to give their parents more chances.

The stuff that I saw on RBN was mild.

You judged the stuff you saw on RBN to be mild under the assumption that a poster describing a parent as an "Nparent" isn't being honest about them being consistently and repeatedly abusive. It's incredible that this is so hard for you to understand. People go to safe spaces so that they don't have to list every explicit detail for people to take their word that someone they say is abusive, IS ABUSIVE. THAT'S THE POINT OF PLACES LIKE RBN: YOU DON'T HAVE TO PROVE IT TO EVERYONE BY PRESENTING EVIDENCE LIKE IN A COURT.

You're a fucking dolt. Check your god damn privilege, and when someone goes to a safe space for having abusive mentally ill parents, give them the benefit of the doubt. Or don't. But don't kid yourself that you're better than the average redditor who plays detective over rape accusations.

[–]GT2018 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Yeah if someone is actually abused then sure, say something. Most of the stuff that's on there isn't abuse.

If it's so much more that fits with the previous theme, then it's a whole lot more nothing.

...again, if someone is sexually abused or something major like that, I'm literally not talking about them. Don't take someone's kid away because of teenage angst.

Yeah, I know sometimes there's more to it than what they say. There's more to every single thing ever said. I'm just taking it at face value. I wouldn't actually go into that subreddit and question them or anything like that. Obviously.

Whatever dude. This is going nowhere. I'm just saying don't go NC or criticize your parents or whatever without a damn good reason. You're right that it absolutely is a serious thing. So take it seriously. Whenever you get a voicemail that's kind of uncomfortable, weigh that against like all the times they took you to soccer practice or whatever as a 6 year old. The vast majority of the time they've done way more good than bad and it's shitty to ruin their lives over some minor stuff.

[–]j_damp 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Don't take someone's kid away because of teenage angst.

There you go, likening someone describing a parent as an "Nparent" to teenage angst. This is dismissive and awful in and of itself. "Real rape, sure, file charges, but don't go putting someone in jail because you had drunk sex and regretted it."

People go to safe spaces so that they don't have to list every explicit detail for people to take their word that someone they say is abusive, IS ABUSIVE. THAT'S THE POINT OF PLACES LIKE RBN: YOU DON'T HAVE TO PROVE IT TO EVERYONE BY PRESENTING EVIDENCE LIKE IN A COURT.

I'm just saying don't go NC or criticize your parents or whatever without a damn good reason. You're right that it absolutely is a serious thing. So take it seriously.

This isn't a sentiment that people need to be reminded of. This is like saying, "before you go accusing someone of rape, remember, that's a serious accusation!" The implication you're making is that most people need to be reminded of this, because they make those accusations frivolously. It's a disgusting implication and you're a terrible person.

The vast majority of the time they've done way more good than bad and it's shitty to ruin their lives over some minor stuff.

"They emotionally manipulated you and abused you, sure, but they fed you and clothed you, didn't they? And the whole pregnancy thing?"

"Okay, they felt you up, but they're good guys. They're going to go play football for state next year! Are you going to ruin that for them because they touched you once?"

This is literally the logic and guilt-tripping that abusers use, and even what victims hear from others they confide in - are you sure you need to cut them off? Think of all they've done for you. It's not like they were hitting you MOST of the time.

Concern trolling over "do those poor parents really deserve to lose a child? I'm just asking questions!" is horrible and you're horrible. I hope you don't think you're better than the average redditor, the attitude you've presented here is worse than most of the circlejerks that plague this site, you god damn piece of shit.

[–]Paradigm240 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

A-fucking-men. If you don't like your parents' curfews, then why don't you try cooking and cleaning for yourself, paying your own bills, walking to school everyday, buying your own books, etc. The worst part is, I'd never be able to post that without immediately getting a reply like "well, I actually did all that and I'm now a super successful STEM major and I still hate my parents".

Honestly, when you grow up you realise what a douche you were to your folks half the time, and just how much they did for you, often without any appreciation or even knowledge on your part. Reddit needs to grow the fuck up.

[–]j_damp 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not everyone on that sub is a teenager. NPD and other cluster B personality disorders exist. Emotional and physical abuse exist. Neglectful druggie parents exist. There are people who had such awful situations growing up that they were suicidal before they were in grade school, and their parents told them they deserved it.

Jesus Christ. Good job promoting erasure of abuse and not giving people the benefit of the doubt. Why are you on circlebroke? You're a filthy degenerate classic-redditor.

EDIT: YOUR post is the condescending "tough love" and "problems I haven't experienced don't exist" drivel that redditors eat up and that this thread is about. You're so fucking stupid and unaware, it's baffling. What do you think this thread is about?

[–]Acer_saccharum -3ポイント-2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well put.

[–]heterosis -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Can you believe that sub has 70,000 subscribers? Mental health stuff on reddit has been really bugging me and I haven't been able to totally put my thoughts together on it. I gotta say, that community seems especially prone to the negative impact of the echo chamber. I know people say it is helpful, but I do wonder if there is a net positive to seeking out a community of "support" that will be so like minded and uncritical.

[–]snotbowst -4ポイント-3ポイント  (0子コメント)

RBN weirds me out in general. We only hear one side of the story and I have a hard time believing any of those things are exactly as told. There can't be that many sociopaths out there.

[–]DeepStuffRicky 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

I've seen this too, and it seems like this particular brand of "tough love" is long on the tough and short on the love.

I also like how "tough love" is only applied selectively. Feminists complaining about substandard treatment of women? That's the way the world is, honey, it doesn't stop turning for your fee-fees. Black lives matter? Maybe they'd matter more if you'd get a job, stop crying and shut up about slavery and jim crow. That's in the past and anything going wrong for you is on you and your violent, entitled attitude.

White guy gets "falsely accused" of rape and expelled from some college? This is a grave injustice, something needs to be done about it and fuck you right in the ear for accusing me of having a thin skin when I get worked up over it! We're talking about a problem that ACTUALLY MATTERS here! And by "actually matters" I of course mean "something that could possibly impact me directly unlike that sjw stuff."

[–]SpaceshipNamedDesire[S] 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Someday people will understand that the "real issues" in life are different for every person.

Reddit does bring up some real issues that should be talked about but no one gives a shit if they are just going to yell about it.

"Thats just the way it is" is a term used by people too afraid, too lazy, or too much of an asshole to change.

[–]Tastygroove 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

"Tough love" is sometimes proper for anti-social PDs (criminals, redditors)but is the opposite of effective with Borderlines...(which is common diagnosis among those with body dysmorphic disorders...)

http://www.anythingtostopthepain.com/tough-love-not-answer-bpd/

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vOdMcOB4t9M

Also, cart and horse / chicken and egg disclaimer. Transgendered people suffer from PD's it doesn't mean being trans is a disorder.

[–]goldenrobotdick 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

What do you think about the tough love style of teaching shown in the film Whiplash? The film is a great study of the teacher-student dynamic