上位 200 件のコメント表示する 500

[–]BrownGuyInNewEngland 1975ポイント1976ポイント  (113子コメント)

Tell him his bf% is too high in hopes that he's insecure about it then run

[–]cgarci36 698ポイント699ポイント  (40子コメント)

No you tell him he's looking small.

[–]tabasco_fiasco 316ポイント317ポイント  (41子コメント)

No one in this thread has mentioned the most effective technique of "That's my purse! I don't know you!"

[–]Bl4nkface 1244ポイント1245ポイント  (87子コメント)

I'm gonna need a lifeline here...

[–]coveredyou 704ポイント705ポイント  (55子コメント)

call your homies

[–]louisbo12 251ポイント252ポイント  (50子コメント)

What if my homies are all scrawny like me? I mean if i got enough together we could try and take a limb each but most of them wouldnt leave the house.

[–]dadschool 1480ポイント1481ポイント  (147子コメント)

Why the hell do I always have to click the play button on vines like 10 times before it even responds to my click?

[–]Picklwarrior 377ポイント378ポイント  (64子コメント)

And why is it muted by default?

[–]noun_exchanger 465ポイント466ポイント  (41子コメント)

because it will blast at full volume and blow out your speakers otherwise and make you deaf for an hour and wake up your neighbors. all of that. the real question is.. why don't they have that fucking volume control panel up by default? you have to right click the video and click on show control panel

[–]hezwat 101ポイント102ポイント  (8子コメント)

holy shit. you are fucking shitting me. I thought every single vine in existence was mute, like gifs. You are fucking shitting me.

I haven't felt this stupid in years.

[–]b40-40L 13ポイント14ポイント  (4子コメント)

I use the extension "Imagus". Shows the picture or plays vines and instagram videos w/ sound in a small window without clicking.

[–]lucid_throw 1611ポイント1612ポイント  (160子コメント)

Sometimes you just have to let your loved ones fight their own battles.

[–]lasergumball 1498ポイント1499ポイント  (20子コメント)

"You just gonna let him grab your ass like that? I'll wait in the car while you deal with this."

[–]boschone 574ポイント575ポイント  (20子コメント)

http://i.imgur.com/czaknmM.gifv

[–]50_shades_of_winning 118ポイント119ポイント  (3子コメント)

In his defense, that soup is so good you can't eat it standing up. Your knees buckle.

[–]lecherous_hump 162ポイント163ポイント  (11子コメント)

[–]Badgerisbest 22ポイント23ポイント  (1子コメント)

Know that all bouncers hate most of their customers. Especially at party focused bars compared to the chill ones. Never be the one to give them extra shit.

[–]arturo_lemus 210ポイント211ポイント  (91子コメント)

This reminds me of that Louie episode where he doesnt fight that kid and the girl finds him unattractive. Its a lose lose. You back down and your girl will see you a lesser man and lose respect for you. They'll say they wont but the girl on Louie hit the nail on the head. you fight and most likely get almost killed. There's no good way to respond to this situation

[–]Gullex 16ポイント17ポイント  (2子コメント)

Same with fighting women, regardless how much bigger than you they are.

You win, great job bro you just beat up a woman. You lose, lol you got your ass whooped by a woman.

The only winning move is not to play.

[–]irequirebacon 2724ポイント2725ポイント  (273子コメント)

He got a hell of a good grab: http://i.imgur.com/d62cyPM.jpg

[–]MayoFetish 2403ポイント2404ポイント  (95子コメント)

Her ass game is strong.

[–]grouphugintheshower 1513ポイント1514ポイント  (89子コメント)

The ass was fat

[–]jauntiestman 230ポイント231ポイント  (16子コメント)

That you Sue-Ellen?

[–]smierc 96ポイント97ポイント  (12子コメント)

what? no dude it was about sue-ellen not her talking

[–]Anaract 15ポイント16ポイント  (0子コメント)

doesn't matter. as long as you can make everyone aware that you at least partially understood the reference, the karma is yours

[–]qgqq 343ポイント344ポイント  (52子コメント)

More like she got a hell of a nice booty

[–]Drdingidforester 165ポイント166ポイント  (74子コメント)

[–]CToTheIzzay 171ポイント172ポイント  (8子コメント)

No pocket sand option?

[–]Sevorraa 107ポイント108ポイント  (3子コメント)

Pocket sand is always an option. Someone steals your parking spot? Pocket sand. Forgot your anniversary? Pocket sand. The Barista mispronounces your name? That's right, pocket sand. Stripper tells you "front rows for tippers only"? Make it rain...pocket sand.

[–]smw5412 477ポイント478ポイント  (52子コメント)

[–]KeepPushing 231ポイント232ポイント  (21子コメント)

As soon as that guy yelled back, that's when he gets knocked the fuck out in real life.

[–]Tuesdayscoats 40ポイント41ポイント  (0子コメント)

in this episode his friend in this scene that tried to calm him down tried this in another situation later on in the episode and did get punched in the face.

Edit: wow I should proofread...

[–]superangrytroll 68ポイント69ポイント  (20子コメント)

I tried something like this, guy pulled out his dick...

[–]bleach92 41ポイント42ポイント  (9子コメント)

Did you jerk him off?

[–]DarthHonkey 118ポイント119ポイント  (3子コメント)

It would be a bitch move not to at that point.

[–]spankymuffin 17ポイント18ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah, you pretty much have to at that point.

But the good thing is that after you do, I'm pretty sure you'll be on good terms with the guy.

"Ok... so you said you'd jerk me off. And then you jerked me off. I think we're good now. Respect."

[–]0xFFFFFF 678ポイント679ポイント  (75子コメント)

Hey its 4chans 'this guy comes up and slaps your gf ass' in video form. The future is stranger than expected

[–]Captain_Unremarkable 205ポイント206ポイント  (56子コメント)

Well, they did also make a movie out of the atheist professor copypasta.

[–]Harbringer12340 77ポイント78ポイント  (3子コメント)

And that movie's name?

Albert Einstein.

[–]OceanRacoon 8ポイント9ポイント  (2子コメント)

No, they really have, I've seen it and it's absolutely God awful

[–]platoandfriends 12ポイント13ポイント  (3子コメント)

FYI, they're also making a sequel because it was such a success (it had a $2m budget and made $62m at the box office). It's called God's Not Dead 2, and it's about a teacher (played by Melissa Joan Hart, yes, Sabrina) who quotes the bible in a classroom and is sued by a student who believes in the ridiculous idea of 'separation of church and state'. There's a huge trial and everything :P

[–]l0calher0 256ポイント257ポイント  (30子コメント)

You cock your your foot back as far as it goes and you kick that man square in the nuts. Ball kicking is fair game when the dude can bench 400+ more pounds than you.

[–]Adam87 34ポイント35ポイント  (4子コメント)

Slapping her ass is begging for a ball kick. All the roids this guy takes can't protect his balls...oh wait, never mind.

[–]reverend_green1 1094ポイント1095ポイント  (184子コメント)

Nothing, he's got a BALD HEAD

[–]Widan 688ポイント689ポイント  (174子コメント)

[–]l0calher0 346ポイント347ポイント  (46子コメント)

That was really funny, but why fid the video repeat itself in the middle?

[–]jaysunh 301ポイント302ポイント  (30子コメント)

As I understand it, YouTube videos now have to be a certain length to qualify for advertisements. That's why you now see these repeating videos all the time.

[–]hopelifegetsbetter 70ポイント71ポイント  (3子コメント)

too funny, just saw a similar question a different post with this answer

They changed their payout algorithms, instead of going by views, they're now going by the amount of time a user actually spends watching the video. Which is also what killed off a lot of creative Youtube channels, and why every single Youtube animator out there has now started a Let's Play channel.

Which also got rid of reply girls, but introduced new side effects.

[–]My-whatever-account 100ポイント101ポイント  (18子コメント)

They should really make new regulations on banning these videos from having ads or something

[–]XyPod 35ポイント36ポイント  (0子コメント)

I thought it was pretty clear, motherfucker... he's got a bald head.

[–]zanzebar 101ポイント102ポイント  (11子コメント)

Whoa! He just tossed that fat dude into the garbage like it was nothing.

[–]Darktidemage 229ポイント230ポイント  (61子コメント)

Throw a rock at him. Run. Repeat till he is dead. 1-2 good head or knee hits will really slow him down and make it easy.

[–]Amer_Faizan 138ポイント139ポイント  (5子コメント)

lol what is this a Terraria bossfight

[–]bbbbbbbbMMbbbbbbbb 193ポイント194ポイント  (26子コメント)

Any long range weapon will do, but keep a distance and watch out for his grab attack. It really eats up your HP.

[–]RPrevolution 10ポイント11ポイント  (3子コメント)

While you're grabbing the second rock, he's closed the distance. Post the fight on /r/whowouldwin

[–]call_me_Ms_M 61ポイント62ポイント  (14子コメント)

As a chick that's why I always start talking first if the guy is bigger than my guy. Its easier for him to save face if I start making a scene about how rude and sexist that was and how i have half a mind to call the cops and report him for sexual assault. As a chick that grew up in the hood this actually works pretty well and I did it once or twice. The bigger guy obviously isn't going to fight me without losing face himself and my man isn't going to stop me because that would be considered rude after I just played the sexist card. If the bigger man tries ignore me and antagonize my man (and this happened once) then i continue to play the sexist card saying that I'm the one he has a problem with and again play the assault card. Chicks can call the cops way more often in bad neighborhoods without losing face.

[–]kirualex 562ポイント563ポイント  (50子コメント)

Grab ass firmly while keeping eye contact to re-establish alpha position

[–]Clay_Statue 624ポイント625ポイント  (31子コメント)

Nono... Grab his ass firmly while keeping eye contact and say,

'You like it, don't you princess?'

[–]omolicious 184ポイント185ポイント  (20子コメント)

Be sure to kiss his neck afterwards, just to show him he's your bitch

[–]mapkin 91ポイント92ポイント  (11子コメント)

Can't reach neck, what do now?

[–]omolicious 101ポイント102ポイント  (7子コメント)

A playful smooch on the butt cheek is acceptable as well

[–]IIdsandsII 23ポイント24ポイント  (5子コメント)

can you define/illustrate "playful"?

[–]1millionbucks 61ポイント62ポイント  (4子コメント)

Eat that fucker like your life depends on it

[–]vernscustoms 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

They gonna call it "Throwing lettuce " by the time he's done.

[–]dewse 98ポイント99ポイント  (35子コメント)

Get naked and yell loudly.

[–]arturo_lemus 76ポイント77ポイント  (28子コメント)

Ive seen a prank video where a guy would go up to people and start a fight, then he would strip naked or to a man thong and it scared every guy away. This will work but you lose all dignity

[–]Oxford_karma 9ポイント10ポイント  (18子コメント)

Link please. That's hilarious.

[–]_dealio 46ポイント47ポイント  (16子コメント)

[–]Spagenettics 26ポイント27ポイント  (6子コメント)

Is this how people get into fights?

"Hey man, do you want to fight?" "Yes, let us fight."

[–]ThatCanHappen 8ポイント9ポイント  (2子コメント)

Thanks! I've never laughed this much in a while. I wonder how much of it was staged? The last vid shows like they have a hidden camera, but in the middle of it I saw some of the people being approached laugh and consciously holding back their laughter...

[–]CivilityBeDamned 19ポイント20ポイント  (1子コメント)

It was highly staged. You'd probably just get your ass kicked harder in reality.

[–]PolarBurs 39ポイント40ポイント  (1子コメント)

This will work but you lose all dignity gain much respect.

FTFY

[–]Indoorsman 294ポイント295ポイント  (30子コメント)

Quick kick to the dick, eye gouge, backflip out of there.

[–]FutureChildPornStar 252ポイント253ポイント  (10子コメント)

When do I use my katana and/or cape?

[–]candlecapfuck 172ポイント173ポイント  (7子コメント)

After you put on your fedora.

[–]Meltingteeth 75ポイント76ポイント  (6子コメント)

Fingerless gloves for bonus DEX as you slap at his eyesockets during the gouge.

[–]GeorgeRRZimmerman 28ポイント29ポイント  (3子コメント)

And make sure to maintain eye contact after you've felled your opponent as you glide into the sunset on your Heelys.

[–]Mr_Quackers 272ポイント273ポイント  (128子コメント)

One of my biggest fears going out with my girl when she dresses sexy....like, I have to do something, but I really don't feel like getting crushed.

[–]Nick357 54ポイント55ポイント  (12子コメント)

In my experience, if somebody tries to pull something it is when the bf isn't close by. I mean how many girls asses could a person grab before they got shot.

[–]Krewmen 146ポイント147ポイント  (50子コメント)

Time to invest in an equalizer!

No but for real, don't be crazy.

[–]iamaManBearPig 242ポイント243ポイント  (42子コメント)

Equalizer = gun, for those who dont know what you mean.

Guns have been called the great equalizer throughout American history because they can make someone who is frail and weak as deadly as someone who is big and strong. Or at least gives a weaker individual a fighting chance against a stronger opponent.

Education is also considered "the great equalizer".

[–]nerfAvari 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

mace - then it's like taking candy from a baby

[–]M4rkyboy 109ポイント110ポイント  (31子コメント)

I saw something similar happen in a club in Glasgow once.

Big black dude, total machine, huge, walks up to a girl and starts trying to pull her. Her boyfriend's at the bar getting the drinks in and he returns. The boyfriend is just average, maybe 5'9, average build.

Now i am watching this play out from across the bar so i cant hear what's said but when the boyfriend stands beside them the big black guy ignores him and continues trying it on with the girl. The black guy eventually shoots the guy a glance and gives him a dismissive gesture and says something probably like get the fuck out of here.

The Scots guy looks at his girlfriend who gives him a sort of pleading look like 'please, don't' but it's too late. He swings his beer bottle and smashes it off the black guys head and i swear, he just kept hitting the guy with the broken bottle neck in the face, just totally stabbing fuck out of him. The black guy's cowering away from the attack and using his hands to try and block it but the boyfriend just kept hitting him and hitting him, totally unrelenting.

The bouncers had to pull the boyfriend off, the music stopped, the lights came up and the black guys face, hands, head was in fucking tatters. Never saw so much blood in my life.

[–]IdeaPowered 87ポイント88ポイント  (13子コメント)

And now that girl has a different boyfriend while bottle-crazy ex is doing time.

Great example of "When keeping it real goes wrong".

[–]M4rkyboy 31ポイント32ポイント  (7子コメント)

Probably not, nightclubs don't report this stuff to the police because they can lose their license.

The bouncers would've threw him out and he would've wandered off into the night.

[–]Mildcorma 323ポイント324ポイント  (129子コメント)

Reminds me of a time when I was in Australia. I'm a big guy right, 6ft 8in (201cm) and I weigh 20st which is 280lbs. I'm not a muscle head but I am in some kind of shape. Anyway, this bar in Aus is so busy it's not even real, and we're all having issues getting served. I've been waiting about 15 minutes when I see some older dude push through everyone and say to the barmaid "this 20 is for you if you serve me next." I'm like, no, that's not fucking happening and I let him know as much. I have a german mate on my left who's 6ft 5inches and plays rugby every week, and my best mate on my right whos' 6ft and boxes / plays rugby semi-pro. They're right behind me when I say this to the guy, but somethings not right, like he just smiles at us and shakes his head and shouts to his mates outside "Johnno! Get the fuck in here!". Now, fuck me, Johnno was something else. This guy must've been almost 7ft, if not that, and he was so fucking stacked, I just hear my best mate go "...Shit, where did he come from!?". I think he was outside feeding on some scrap cars, or some rebar... People have started moving away from us all and I don't blame them. This tall johnno bloke looked at me and smiled, grabbed both of my mates by their necks (they couldn't do shit) and said to me "Now, my mate was buying some drinks, so what the fuck are you going to do about it?". This guy had fucking glass scars on his face from where he'd clearly been glassed before, and a few scars and shit. He had fucking army tatoos and shit, just not going to risk it, especially when he's come face on to some fucking odds and he doesn't give a fuck....

I backed down so fast I almost reversed out of the bar. He clapped me on the back and almost broke it. My mates said they were worried i'd say something stupid, but they all agreed that guy was the most pant-shittingly terrifying they've ever seen. I have never been so physically intimidated in all my life, so it's stayed with me.

[–]arturo_lemus 138ポイント139ポイント  (37子コメント)

Sounds like something from a movie. I see Jason Statham and Tom Hardy in there somewhere

Your team sounds like you could've demolished that guy tho, especially the boxer

[–]louisbo12 68ポイント69ポイント  (14子コメント)

3 on 2 possibly. But if johnno scares a 6'8 guy,a 6'5 rugby player and a 6'0 boxer then he's some sort of beast.

[–]RTchoke 6ポイント7ポイント  (4子コメント)

I'm picturing this guy Johnno as basically Vinnie Jones as the Juggernaut

[–]BakaTensai 49ポイント50ポイント  (34子コメント)

It does kinda freak me out that there are people that can just physically dominate almost anyone if they want. Not all of them are huge and stacked either, so it isn't always so easy to tell. That's why it's always a risky move to directly confront somebody you don't know. Scary situation man, but it makes for a great story!

[–]PurplePeopleEatur 87ポイント88ポイント  (3子コメント)

Was he also an aquatic reptilian predator from the mesozoic era?

[–]siriex 13ポイント14ポイント  (1子コメント)

haha am I the only one calling bullshit on this story?

[–]-Megain- 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's like when Arnold feels small: http://i.imgur.com/GOiGt.jpg

[–]pr0ncave 72ポイント73ポイント  (32子コメント)

as a small-ish dude like the boyfriend in the video, this is the worse god damn situation you could possibly be in, it's a lose-lose. I think I'd rather be drafted into war than have to deal with this shit.

[–]Avogadro101 31ポイント32ポイント  (3子コメント)

I'd probably say to my girlfriend, "See, that's the kind of shit people who never met their fathers do."

And proceed to get my self killed.

[–]PMMeYourPokemonTeam 90ポイント91ポイント  (59子コメント)

...yeah, A.

"Hey man, that's inappropriate. If you touch my wife/girlfriend/etc again I'm calling the cops." pull out cell phone

It'll probably turn into B, but hey, what can I do? C and D are no-go's.

I might fight dirty, who knows?

[–]Cat4lyst 22ポイント23ポイント  (0子コメント)

Jerk him off, the only option...

[–]PowerPieHour 141ポイント142ポイント  (66子コメント)

  1. Initiate fight.
  2. Realize about to get absolutely fucked.
  3. Allow one hit
  4. Produce .45 caliber handgun and fire in "self defense".
  5. ??????
  6. PROFIT

[–]arturo_lemus 63ポイント64ポイント  (19子コメント)

But what if one hit is all it takes to get knocked out?

[–]gsmaciel3 32ポイント33ポイント  (9子コメント)

Decrease chances of getting knocked out by:

-Raising shoulders a bit above chin level

-tuck chin down toward chest. If possible try to turn into the punch of you can't dodge or block it.

-Wear those metal headband things from naruto and break his hand on your forehead

[–]Kron0_0 30ポイント31ポイント  (6子コメント)

If youre wearing the metalo headband thing on the reg you dont need to worry about this happening to your girl

[–]Bk7 226ポイント227ポイント  (21子コメント)

Option E:

Bring my chin down to protect my neck while continuing to stare into his eyes. Bring up my hands and say "I don't want no trouble ya hear". Flex my traps and core. Slightly bend my knees.

Here comes the important part. In a low voice I begin to say "wolowolowolowolowolo" slowly increasing in volume, he should be surprised by now. Begin to sway side to side and loosen all facial muscles and my anal sphincter and my kegel muscle. By now I should be pretty loud and my opponent will have stepped back and will appear visibly shaken.

Begin to piss and shit myself and let my eyes roll into the back of my head. By now I am chanting "WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO" at the top of my lungs.

He will run away. Everyone within a one mile radius will feel a terrifying presence within their soul.

Marvel as I ascend into planar form.

[–]holidayshoplifter 21ポイント22ポイント  (3子コメント)

Turn around and walk up to him, face off stare down, and grab his dick the same way.

[–]LDSinner 10ポイント11ポイント  (4子コメント)

Probably remind her of my credit score

[–]HIT_BY_SNIPER 86ポイント87ポイント  (19子コメント)

I'd let her handle it. It's important to allow significant others opportunities to gro

[–]tomdwilliams 197ポイント198ポイント  (12子コメント)

She's a strong independent woman, she doesn't need him to do anything for her...

[–]Edrondol 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

Something like this has actually happened to me in real life, but I couldn't pull it off now because...well, you'll see.

I was at a video game arcade in the early 1980's when this BIIIIG black guy (not racist, just a description) comes up to me, pushes me and says, "Gimme all your quarters or I'll kick your ass!"

Now, at the time I was about 110 pounds (I wrestled 109 or 112, depending on how I made weight) and I was wearing my letter jacket. I went toe to toe with this behemoth and looked him straight in the eyes and said, "You see these medals?"

"Yeah, I see 'em."

"You see these fucking medals?"

"Yeah, I see them. So fucking what?"

"I got them for running."

He looked confused for a couple seconds then busted out laughing, me along with him. Turns out he was a pretty nice guy who had been pressured into fucking with "the little white guy".

It was about that time I decided I really wanted to go into comedy. (Which I didn't do for another 20 years or so, but that's another story.)

[–]KnowMatter 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'd like to phone a friend.

Calling /u/govschwarzenegger

[–]Mentioned_Videos 18ポイント19ポイント  (1子コメント)

Videos in this thread:

Watch Playlist ▶

VIDEO VOTES - COMMENT
Who is Tyrone? Big Brodie got a BALD HEAD 659 - Reference for the uninitiated
Blue Mountain State - Jerk Him Off 392 - try this ?
Ohhhh my god 225 -
(South Park) George Zimmerman kills Cartman 147 -
Key & Peele - Fighting Meegan's Battles 146 - Relevant Key & Peele
Funniest Question On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire! 79 - A - C
"Girl, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal." 75 -
Help Me My Calves Are Small 70 - It's genetic bro
How to pronounce ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 52 -
I'M TYRONE and I'LL FCK YOUR WIFE Vines #longdckstyle - Tyrone Vine Compilation - Top Viners ✔ 44 - Reminds me of Tyrone the wife fucker
[NSFW] How to win street fights in the hood!! Epic!! 40 -
Failed ass implant 34 - Behind the scenes
Thomas Middleditch: “Silicon Valley” Is An HR Nightmare - CONAN on TBS 28 - Thomas Middleditch is all over this!
Funniest Fight ever 12 - This!
Thicker Than A Bowl Of Oatmeal? 8 -
Giant Silva x Ikuhisa Minowa 8 -
Once Were Warriors - Bar fight with Jake the Mus 7 - I'd channel Jake the Muss. "Too much weights, not enough speed work"
How to Pronounce ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )10 Hours 5 - You passed on the chance to link the 10 hour version
FULL FIGHT!!! Big Brody Meets Tyrone (Bald Head Vs Fck Your Wife Pranksters) 5 - When Big Brody and Tyrone meet to prove who's the top motherfucker. (Fight starts @:20
Do You Have A Problem In The Hood Prank 4 - This is the kind of bullshit talk you get from white kids who have only ever driven through the hood, if that. Say two words to that guy and you're getting stomped. If you think I'm kidding
Episode 1: The reddit cuck discovers /pol/ 4 - reddit
Wololo 4 - I saw that going in a different direction.
Self Defense 3 - First, get wrist control, it's all about wrist control. See, once you have wrist control you can just do whatever you want with him. Then, you pull out your gun. See, he's afraid of your gun, now you have total control of the situa...
"The Way of the Gun" - Opening Scene - HD 3 - Reminds me of the opening scene of The Way of the Gun.
Whose Line: Scenes From A Hat 78 3 - He was right!
I skip leg day The smart ebike 3 - No it isn't.

I'm a bot working hard to help Redditors find related videos to watch.


Info | Chrome Extension

[–]xvvvvx 142ポイント143ポイント  (18子コメント)

call the police, they probably would have shot him

[–]Frames__Janco 26ポイント27ポイント  (7子コメント)

I'd probably try to jump over the barrels he throws.