(cache) wettowelnigがWhat 'secret' does your SO think they are keeping from you?について記入したコメント

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What 'secret' does your SO think they are keeping from you? (self.AskReddit)

Kalika0 が 15時間前投稿

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[–]wettowelnig -14ポイント-13ポイント-12ポイント 5時間前 (21子コメント)

[–]kabushko 17ポイント18ポイント19ポイント 4時間前 (17子コメント)

[+]wettowelnig スコアが基準値未満のコメント-10ポイント-9ポイント-8ポイント 4時間前 (16子コメント)

[–]The_Bald 5ポイント6ポイント7ポイント 2時間前 (3子コメント)

[–]wettowelnig 0ポイント1ポイント2ポイント 1時間前 (2子コメント)

[–]The_Bald [スコア非表示] 34分前 (1子コメント)

Secondly you don't actually know if your partner cheated the child could be from before the relationship.

If the child was from before the relationship I would be aware of that, would I not? If I began dating a woman who was pregnant already I would most likely be aware of it, especially if she was showing before we'd even had sex, which she would be in your hypothetical scenario.

Also I think the idea that each individual should only be allowed to love one other person is ridiculous, if my partner loved someone else (in addition to me- if there is no mutual love the relationship should end) there is nothing you can really do about it, why repress it and let the child suffer?

What? What are you talking about? No one said it wasn't possible to love more than one person in their lifetime, in fact that's fairly common and most people understand that. You seem to be basing the remainder of your argument on your previous scenario of her having already been pregnant before meeting someone new. Thousands, HUNDREDS of thousands of men and women happily marry into families with single mothers/fathers and raise the children as their own, who do you think is arguing this as fact?

This is where the idea of cheating comes from.

You are just pulling this out of your ass now. Cheating is cheating, people cheat because they want something more than what they have. It's not spawned from some ideology that we should be able to love more than one person but can't.

If you are open to the idea that humans have the capacity to love more than one person then the concept of cheating is meaningless and the child get raised without trauma and a potential cycle of shit lives never becomes a reality.

Again, no one said it is impossible to love more than one person in their lifetime. 'The concept of cheating'? Cheating is when you are unfaithful to someone you promised yourself to, there's no misconception there. People know what cheating is and they know it's wrong. If you are insinuating someone should forgive a cheater for the sake of the child thinking their parents love one another, you are mistaken. You are building this argument out of just anything you feel like saying it seems, and I'm not so sure how relevant any of your points are.

[–]wettowelnig [スコア非表示] 20分前 (0子コメント)

No one said it wasn't possible to love more than one person in their lifetime

I'm talking simultaneously.

It's not spawned from some ideology that we should be able to love more than one person but can't.

My point exactly, its spawned from the idea that we aren't able to love more than one person simultaneously.

heating is when you are unfaithful to someone you promised yourself to

why do you promise yourself then, what is the obligation behind this promise when people know that they might be tempted, why create a thing that leads to repression and internal conflict?

If you are insinuating someone should forgive a cheater for the sake of the child

only if there is a mutual love between the partners, otherwise the child will have a shit time anyway.

You are building this argument out of just anything you feel like saying it seems

My argument comes from: Eyes Wide Shut by Stanley Kubrick. Anna Karenina Leo Tolstoy, Schindler's List Stephen Speilberg.

[–]Mariokartfever 3ポイント4ポイント5ポイント 2時間前 (2子コメント)

[–]wettowelnig 0ポイント1ポイント2ポイント 1時間前 (1子コメント)

[–]Mariokartfever 0ポイント1ポイント2ポイント 1時間前 (0子コメント)

[–]megamanrapist 14ポイント15ポイント16ポイント 3時間前 (8子コメント)

[–]ahurlly 1ポイント2ポイント3ポイント 1時間前 (1子コメント)

[–]megamanrapist 0ポイント1ポイント2ポイント 1時間前 (0子コメント)

[+]wettowelnig スコアが基準値未満のコメント-16ポイント-15ポイント-14ポイント 3時間前 (5子コメント)

[–]megamanrapist 11ポイント12ポイント13ポイント 3時間前 (4子コメント)

[–]wettowelnig [スコア非表示] 53分前 (3子コメント)

The last comment you made you talked about insecurity of masculinity.

yes its because the user /u/megamanrapist as you can probably guess from his username is obsessed with the concept. My last comment wasn't about masculinity it was about how the raising of a child has nothing to do with masculinity.

Weird how you think men should automatically take care of children that are not theirs, making them unhappy and depressed

why would loving a child make you depressed? what is making you depressed is the idea that you have somehow been shamed, but what is shame? its an illusion, your ego gets in the way, you let other people dictate your life. In addition you are now in conflict internally because on one level the right thing to do is to love the child but on the other hand you feel guilty about not wanting the child. The only way to break this conflict is to accept the child (provided there is mutual love between you and the mother) and get on with your life and stop worrying about what other people think.

Go and adopt every orphan out there, since it's all about the children and not your life.

now that's just silly, I don't have the resources or the time, it would have a negative impact on the lives of the orphans.

[–]megamanrapist [スコア非表示] 35分前 (0子コメント)

[–]The_Bald [スコア非表示] 22分前 (1子コメント)

You are blowing my mind with this argument of yours. If a woman were to cheat on me, that's one thing, that's being unfaithful and would be a fine basis for breaking up with them. If she were to become pregnant from said affair, I have absolutely ZERO need to worry about that child. It is not mine, no one would expect you to raise it because that child has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

I don't know if you are just glossing over this whole 'cheating' aspect of the argument here, but if someone cheats on you, that alone is grounds for breaking up/divorce. That right there would end any obligation you had to that person, and if they were carrying someone else's child, you don't owe anything to that child either.

I'm all about empathy and love towards one another, and it really is unfortunate that kids can sometimes be the products of these sticky situations. Every child should have the opportunity to be loved, but you must understand that is not always going to be the case, and in the scenario where a woman births this child from an affair, at least the mother might be able to offer the child love and affection, possibly even the man she cheated with could accept responsibility for his child.

[–]wettowelnig [スコア非表示] 8分前 (0子コメント)

You are blowing my mind with this argument of yours.

thanks

It is not mine, no one would expect you to raise it because that child has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

It's the child of your lover, to say that its a random child is clearly not true.

I don't know if you are just glossing over this whole 'cheating' aspect of the argument here, but if someone cheats on you, that alone is grounds for breaking up/divorce.

Why though? who cares, society expects you to break up but if you love the person why would you? why would deprive yourself of love for no good reason?

I'm all about empathy and love towards one another

yet you would let a child lead a life of misery?

unfortunate position the child's found himself in

i.e. I made the conscious decision to abandon the child

you must understand that is not always going to be the case

why not

possibly even the man she cheated with could accept responsibility for his child.

"its not my responsibility, I can justify this to myself, In my eyes I am exempt"

every child should have the opportunity to be loved

yet you keep positing reasons why there are "extenuating" circumstances, I posit no, there are no extenuating circumstances. Stop being shit to children, stop giving into others idea's of life. Stop letting fear get in the way of love.

[–]sleepinlight 12ポイント13ポイント14ポイント 3時間前 (0子コメント)

[–]TheVegetaMonologues 5ポイント6ポイント7ポイント 5時間前 (1子コメント)

[+]wettowelnig スコアが基準値未満のコメント-14ポイント-13ポイント-12ポイント 4時間前 (0子コメント)

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