上位 200 件のコメント表示する 500

[–]chaseoes 1091ポイント1092ポイント  (28子コメント)

The reviews on it are great also.

We cant get rid of it all, theres to much of it. We tried burning it but it kept multiplying. We eat it for breakfast, lunch, dinner, but the pile never gets smaller. Our son has turned into pure dehydrated marshmallows. Please, make it stop. Im begging you

[–]fondlemeLeroy 435ポイント436ポイント  (16子コメント)

[–]TheLieLlama 116ポイント117ポイント  (8子コメント)

[–]LlamaTheBountyHunter 36ポイント37ポイント  (6子コメント)

Something about that gif just rubs me wrong

[–]sockgorilla 45ポイント46ポイント  (1子コメント)

Well it is a parasitic alien made entirely of fat, slightly disturbing.

[–]Reclusive-Lightbulb 18ポイント19ポイント  (0子コメント)

But it helps you lose weight. Many people would gladly help an adipose baby be born. Besides, they're adorable.

[–]sphere2040 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Something? EVERYTHING ABOUT THE GIF RUBS ME WRONG!!

[–]Fuck_Best_Buy 1111ポイント1112ポイント  (371子コメント)

[–]Methozs 452ポイント453ポイント  (26子コメント)

The top review there:

 Best kids breakfast ever!, June 15, 2013

By John Hartman

This review is from: Dehydrated Marshmallows Assorted - 40lb Case (Grocery)

My wife ordered me a case of these delicious marshmallows for me and my daughter (she's 17mo). At first i had them in some hot chocolate and then on some frozen yogurt (because yogurt is healthy). I had a blast sharing it with my daughter. I've been giving it to her for breakfast and lunch and then we have a sensible dinner. I can't even begin to tell you how much weight we've lost! I'm in the process of writing a book called the Dehydrated Breakfast Marshmallow Weight Loss Fiesta/Siesta. It's a diet based around eating excessive sugars and taking naps right afterward. The added bonus is that marshmallows are natural stimulant so your bowel movements increase tenfold with a standard 2 cup serving size. Yes, there is the side effect of rainbow poopies, but they do make for awesome stories about unicorns and how they poop. I've seen unicorn poop and it looks just like marshmallows.

[–]gilroy99 22ポイント23ポイント  (1子コメント)

I know its satire but please don't ever give your 17 month old marshmallows. If they breathe them back they stick to the windpipe and even a paramedic will find it damn hard to get them out. A trachy and throat surgery will be needed.

[–]Nuka-Cola1 34ポイント35ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is one of the reviews for the mashmallows I thought it was quite funny so had to make sure other people read it aswell. "Many might think that 40 pounds of dehydrated marshmallows is excessive, and those people would be correct. I purchased the 40 pound case thinking it would be a fun way to add some flavor to my bowl of bland cheerios in the morning. Little did I know that when I found myself strolling through the isle at my local grocery store to get some more cheerios that I would make a discovery as large as I did. I found a cereal with the marshmallows already added for you, they are called lucky charms. I now found myself in quite the dilemma, I have 40 pounds of these marshmallows at home and now my new cereal already has marshmallows mixed in for me. I couldn't think of a better way to get rid of my supply other than to eat all of my marshmallows myself. I began my journey at approximately 8:00 A.M. with hopes of finishing the case in near record time. I found myself halfway done with the case around noon and was feeling great. If I had managed to keep my pace for the rest of the day i would have been done sometime around 4:00 P.M. so I was very glad to have taken the day off work that day. Unfortunately I hit a wall around pound 30 and my efforts to eat the whole case came to a screeching halt. I powered on though and continued to eat. It was nearly 10:00 P.M. when i finished pound number 38 and I could really start to feel the effects of the marshmallows starting to get to me. I hadn't walked around since 8:00 A.M. when i started my journey and I began to fear that I would never walk again, but I was way to far to quit just because of my potential medical damages. I polished off pound 40 just before midnight. I had done it, i finished the entire 40 pound case of marshmallows in just 16 hours. I must say that I don't have many regrets after the fact, the doctors at my local hospital has been running tests on me ever since I showed up 3 weeks ago after finishing the case. I haven't eaten anything since that sacred day, the doctors think that I consumed enough sugar to keep my heart pumping at a cool 175 beats per minute. They tell me that if I move even a little that my heart rate could spike somewhere into the mid two hundreds. All and all I must say that eating the entire 40 pound case of dehydrated marshmallows has been the biggest life accomplishment that I will ever make. "

[–]That_Alien_Dude 70ポイント71ポイント  (2子コメント)

I was wondering where I could buy my marshmallows wholesale. Costco was all out

[–]itim__office 87ポイント88ポイント  (4子コメント)

[–]twominitsturkish 57ポイント58ポイント  (2子コメント)

Oh my god, they killed him! They killed him and put his dehydrated corpse on sale for the low low price of 23 cents an ounce :(

Only at Amazon

[–]millie-o 57ポイント58ポイント  (25子コメント)

What about the guy who wants to fill a pool with them and swim through them like Scrooge McDuck?!

[–]BlackHoleFun 29ポイント30ポイント  (22子コメント)

Someone on here could surely calculate how many bags you'd need to order to fill the average swimming pool, but it ain't me.

[–]idkartist3D 131ポイント132ポイント  (16子コメント)

sigh

With your average 15 ft above ground pool, the volume would be about 5310 gallons. Amazon lists the package as being 24 x 16 x 20 inches, and according to google, 1 cubic inch equates to 0.004329 gallons. So, doing some quick math, the volume of a single package of marshmallows comes to 7680 inches cubed, or 33.24675 gallons. The volume of the pool divided by the volume of the pack of marshmallows should give us the answer, so 5310 divided by 33.24675 comes to 159.71. Rounding up that leaves us with 160 packages of marshmallows. In total it would cost you about $23,933.27. Throw in the cost of the pool, you're at just about 24 grand, give or take a couple hundred.

TL;DR: 160 bags, costing about 24 grand. Edit: This site offers 140 lbs for $115, lowering the price to about 18.5 grand.

[–]Redtox 25ポイント26ポイント  (1子コメント)

To be honest, I expected that number to be much higher. I bet we could get a better deal if we bought 160 bags. Let's make it happen!

[–]PM-ME-YOUR-YOGAPANTS[🍰] 44ポイント45ポイント  (12子コメント)

According to the Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed section, y'all look at some weird stuff.

I knew I shoulda opened this in incognito...

[–]JessaFace 63ポイント64ポイント  (6子コメント)

"The Faggiest Vampire," "Micropenis: the Long and Short of It," and "Ass Goblins of Auschwitz" among the books, an infant circumcision trainer, "Look and Feel Canadian!" breath spray, inflatable unicorn horn headwear, penis candies, live lady bugs, a Sarah Palin pocket knife...

For reals. I'm not sure which was more entertaining.

[–]In_Dying_Arms 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

Is it possible to get them individually wrapped?

Amazon never lets down.

[–]ToffeeAppleCider 595ポイント596ポイント  (213子コメント)

MyFitnessPal estimates 7 grams of dried marshmallows to be 25 calories.

That makes this 40 lb bag 453,592.5 calories. If you are watching your diet at about 2000 calories per day, you could eat nothing but marshmallows from this bag for the next 226.8 days.

Edit: Looks like the guy who did that calculation was way off, I didn't think to check. There's 18,143.7 grams to 40lbs, so divide by 7 and then times by 25 makes 64,799 calories. So it'd only last 32.4 days! Not as impressive.

[–]bazoos 295ポイント296ポイント  (54子コメント)

Where did you go to math school? Roughly 28g is an oz. So 100 calories per oz. 16oz in a pound. Thats 1600 calories per pound. So 40lbs is roughly 64,000 calories. Roughly the same as 40lbs of sugar. Or 32 days of 2000 calories.

[–]afhadslk2 104ポイント105ポイント  (13子コメント)

Seriously, he wasn't even fucking close.

[–]alpacafox 78ポイント79ポイント  (8子コメント)

But it sounded more awesome. So he wins.

[–]nardpuncher 19ポイント20ポイント  (4子コメント)

I think he was clever and got it wrong on purpose so some other smart ass on Reddit what do the calculations for him. genius!

[–]bazoos 12ポイント13ポイント  (2子コメント)

Well, there are 453.592 grams in a pound. So... yeah. I still don't know how he got it wrong.

[–]Ebonskaith 23ポイント24ポイント  (15子コメント)

He was quoting someone from the Amazon comments. However, you are correct. The poster(Andy) forgot to divide by 7 in part of their equation.

[–]budtske 27ポイント28ポイント  (14子コメント)

divide by seven? what .. the .. hell...

As someone who grew up on metric, that all you guys keep up with this seems incredible to me.

[–]_unforgiven_ 29ポイント30ポイント  (0子コメント)

Divide by pi and carry the first even pebble to convert to stones.

[–]secretpandalord 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

Probably the 7 grams originally listed in the calorie count. Even in the admittedly messed up Imperial system, 7 is not a common number.

[–]Ebonskaith 8ポイント9ポイント  (4子コメント)

The 7 was for the 7 gram serving size.

Andy's 453,592.5 calories would be true if it were 1 gram = 25 calories. You need to divide by 7 to get the correct 64,798.9 calories, or roughly 64,000.

[–]bigmike83 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

So watching ones figure and ordering 30 days worth of marshmallows aren't as mutually exclusive as suggested, are they?

Point: You can eat whatever the f you want as long as you keep your intake where you want it to be for weight loss, gain or maintenance.

[–]HunterTV 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Good thing he isn't stuck on Mars trying to grow potatoes from his own shit.

[–]Aesoa 422ポイント423ポイント  (127子コメント)

226 days of food for $150? sign me up

[–]Minzoatwork 662ポイント663ポイント  (84子コメント)

"food"

[–]cuteman 279ポイント280ポイント  (57子コメント)

Bowel movements would be interesting

[–]Daemias 444ポイント445ポイント  (36子コメント)

Taste the rainbow. Shit the rainbow.

[–]HarryB1313 93ポイント94ポイント  (32子コメント)

You mean red, brown and black? You are colour blind if that is your rainbow.

[–]InsanityWolfie 202ポイント203ポイント  (3子コメント)

its the Metal rainbow.

[–]khublakhanquest 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

No sign of the morning coming

You've been left on your own

Like a rainbow in the dark

A rainbow in the dark

Do your demons,

Well, do they ever let you go?

When you've tried,

Do they hide

Deep inside

Is it something that you ate?

[–]yukichigai 36ポイント37ポイント  (15子コメント)

Fun fact: marshmallows contain a natural laxative. It mostly gets neutralized during digestion, but eat enough and some is bound to get through.

Related, if anyone ever tries to convince you to shove marshmallows up your ass, the end goal is for you to shit yourself.

[–]October_Citrus 50ポイント51ポイント  (9子コメント)

Shove marshmallows up your ass

I'm not sure who you hang out with but it sounds like a good time.

[–]maddiethebaddie 21ポイント22ポイント  (7子コメント)

It's actually a very common practice in scat communities and the baby role play fetishists.

Don't ask me how I know.

[–]slavmaf 26ポイント27ポイント  (1子コメント)

Thanks, now I will never be normal enough to NOT be aware of poop marshmellows in the baby role play fetish.

[–]gippered 18ポイント19ポイント  (1子コメント)

I don't know enough about marshmallows to refute this, so I guess I'll have to take your word for it.

[–]clown_pants 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

When you eat nothing but marshmallows for a week it is called shitting. And I would not call what that blob inside you is doing movement. I don't care who you are or what you've done in your life previously.

[–]Flapjack_ 16ポイント17ポイント  (14子コメント)

Just take a multivitamin and some fiber pills

[–]POI_Harold-Finch 14ポイント15ポイント  (6子コメント)

you could not let him get away with it and neither you could stop laughing about it

[–]drakmordis 74ポイント75ポイント  (18子コメント)

But can you put a price on diabetes-complicated scurvy?

[–]NoCommentsYaDingus 16ポイント17ポイント  (9子コメント)

Just take a multivitamin it'll be fine!

[–]butthead 54ポイント55ポイント  (8子コメント)

You'd need some yeast too to manage gut flora. And without fiber that sugary gunk will end up getting stuck in your intestines and lead to diverticulitis and hemorrhoids or some shit. So throw in some Metamucil too.

Marshmellows, Metamucil and Multivitamin. The 3M diet.

[–]ireadanddontpost 18ポイント19ポイント  (2子コメント)

Without any protein your muscles will deteriorate and your skin will peel.

[–]calpolsixplus 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

diverticulitis and hemorrhoids or some shit.

I'll take my chances and hope it's the last option.

[–]mrbaggins 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

3M you say? Suspiciously an adhesive company. With secret formulas.....

[–]twominitsturkish 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

I can't, but I know the American medical system can!

[–]davidmcd95 10ポイント11ポイント  (11子コメント)

I imagine going for a dump would be awful though

[–]TheAmishChicken 8ポイント9ポイント  (8子コメント)

Maybe not, you wont be eating much quantity, and if what something feels like going in is a reflection of how it feels coming out, maybe it wouldnt be so bad.

[–]Bigmac7 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

Plus you get 226 days of diabetes ABSOLUTELY FREE but wait! There's more..

[–]DarkNeutron 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sounds like a plan!

[–]NealMcBeal_NavySeal 19ポイント20ポイント  (4子コメント)

As a backpacker, I'm always looking for calorie dense foods. Looks like I know what I'm carrying 3000 miles on my next thru hike. I'll achieve the impossible and get fat while hiking 25 miles every day!

[–]sayleanenlarge 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

I feel unhealthy just reading that.

[–]Gump9005 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

Your math is wrong

[–]escott1981 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

I am not sure why but I found 6 months financing on 40 pounds of marshmallows to be very funny!

[–]Kambhela 25ポイント26ポイント  (41子コメント)

Dehydrated marshmallows?

Dehydrated?

The fuck?

[–]mattb574 93ポイント94ポイント  (37子コメント)

I think they're the kind of marshmallows that are found in types of cereal like Lucky Charms.

[–]check_my_mids 71ポイント72ポイント  (21子コメント)

Yeah, i'd buy 40 pounds of that.

[–]ASCIt 37ポイント38ポイント  (19子コメント)

Hell, I'd buy 41 pounds of that.

[–]WerkinAndDerpin 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Now I'm just hoping they'll start selling 40 lbs of the little shavings on the bottom of the Cookie Crisp cereal bag

[–]articulett 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

As I recall, they're "magically delicious".

[–]seamustheseagull 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Because 40lbs of normal marshmallows just didn't have enough calories.

[–]HaikuberryFin 183ポイント184ポイント  (25子コメント)

Whoops, Lanis Watkins

just assured themselves a swift

shadow-ban for life.

[–]Srirachafarian 274ポイント275ポイント  (85子コメント)

I used to work at the Cheesecake Factory. I once had a lady come in by herself and ask me how many calories were in the iced tea (we had flavored iced tea that wasn't sweetened). I have no idea, but it's tea with no sugar, so not much, right?

Well that's not a good enough answer for her, so she makes me go check. There's no nutrition information on the bags of tea, so I have to go to a manager. He does some research, and finds out it's "less than 10." So I go tell her.

She seems pleased with the answer and orders tea. I get it for her and take her order, expecting her to get a salad with light dressing of some kind. She orders A HAMBURGER WITH FRENCH FRIES AND A SIDE OF RANCH FOR HER FRIES.

I don't know how many calories she expected there to be in a glass of unsweetened tea, but compared to what she just ate, I assure you the number would have been negligible even if it had been tea that was sweetened with so much HCFS that you couldn't even taste the tea.

[–]HowAboutShutUp 217ポイント218ポイント  (59子コメント)

I dunno man, if I have X calories I can eat, I'm gonna make sure the drink doesnt have any so all X of those X calories can be taken up by delicious food. Plus drinking your calories is bad. And I mean yea, she probably got something like 1200 calories from that meal, so this is pointless bickering, but still. Dont drink them calories, yo.

[–]tit_curtain 71ポイント72ポイント  (39子コメント)

http://www.cheesecakefactorynutrition.com/restaurant-nutrition-chart.php?

Side of ranch: 80 calories

French Fries: 570 calories

Old Fashioned Hamburger: 970 calories (lowest calorie burger)

1620 for the meal

If it was a classic burger instead it would go up to 2030.

[–]HowAboutShutUp 60ポイント61ポイント  (26子コメント)

See, if that was the only food she ate that day, it'd be fine.

[–]gurglet 43ポイント44ポイント  (23子コメント)

Probably not. With today's sedentary lifestyle you seldom see women burning 2000 kcal per day. I've measured daily expenditure in about 100 females working on desk jobs and the average is around 1500 kcal per day.

[–]feedmefeces 46ポイント47ポイント  (2子コメント)

I've measured daily expenditure in about 100 females

If you know what I mean.

[–]DietSnapple135 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

If you know what I mean.

Ohh I know what you mean, you mean that he probably has a profession in a field that requires such things to be done at a regular basis, thus he has experience doing this.

Niiice.

[–]xxmindtrickxx 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

The drink would've been another 400 calories, if it had been sweetened ice tea.

[–]RancorKiller 7ポイント8ポイント  (4子コメント)

Still though, when I eat a high calorie meal like that, it's usually all I eat for the day so that drink could push it over the 2,000 calorie limit and closer to my 1500 daily goal.

[–]FLHCv2 4ポイント5ポイント  (3子コメント)

Yeah I dont understand when people make that joke about people ordering a diet coke at a mcdonalds. 12 ounces of coke is 140 calories and typically when people order a soda, they get a refill (or two for thirsty people like me).

[–]oikoik1 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yeah, but if she's so into counting calories you'd think she'd realise that unsweetened drinks have negligible calories.

[–]twizzle101 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

Completely agree. Drink calories to me are just a waste of good space! I'll occasionally have them but try to avoid.

[–]ResRevolution 27ポイント28ポイント  (11子コメント)

Eh, I'll do that. I try not to drink calories (though I have never asked how many calories are in unsweetened tea...), but if I'm going to a restaurant I won't eat all day so that I can basically order whatever the hell I want. Who cares if the meal is 1500 calories? I haven't had anything else that day!

[–]evictor 15ポイント16ポイント  (1子コメント)

People naturally have a difficult time comprehending orders of magnitude, relative significance, etc.

[–]CamPatUK 60ポイント61ポイント  (11子コメント)

Perhaps the question was a subtle joke and the answer was the same joke but from someone too straight laced to realise the first was a joke?

[–]sonorous7 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

I enjoyed this review:

"Many might think that 40 pounds of dehydrated marshmallows is excessive, and those people would be correct. I purchased the 40 pound case thinking it would be a fun way to add some flavor to my bowl of bland cheerios in the morning. Little did I know that when I found myself strolling through the isle at my local grocery store to get some more cheerios that I would make a discovery as large as I did. I found a cereal with the marshmallows already added for you, they are called lucky charms. I now found myself in quite the dilemma, I have 40 pounds of these marshmallows at home and now my new cereal already has marshmallows mixed in for me. I couldn't think of a better way to get rid of my supply other than to eat all of my marshmallows myself. I began my journey at approximately 8:00 A.M. with hopes of finishing the case in near record time. I found myself halfway done with the case around noon and was feeling great. If I had managed to keep my pace for the rest of the day i would have been done sometime around 4:00 P.M. so I was very glad to have taken the day off work that day. Unfortunately I hit a wall around pound 30 and my efforts to eat the whole case came to a screeching halt. I powered on though and continued to eat. It was nearly 10:00 P.M. when i finished pound number 38 and I could really start to feel the effects of the marshmallows starting to get to me. I hadn't walked around since 8:00 A.M. when i started my journey and I began to fear that I would never walk again, but I was way to far to quit just because of my potential medical damages. I polished off pound 40 just before midnight. I had done it, i finished the entire 40 pound case of marshmallows in just 16 hours. I must say that I don't have many regrets after the fact, the doctors at my local hospital has been running tests on me ever since I showed up 3 weeks ago after finishing the case. I haven't eaten anything since that sacred day, the doctors think that I consumed enough sugar to keep my heart pumping at a cool 175 beats per minute. They tell me that if I move even a little that my heart rate could spike somewhere into the mid two hundreds. All and all I must say that eating the entire 40 pound case of dehydrated marshmallows has been the biggest life accomplishment that I will ever make."

[–]drunk98 65ポイント66ポイント  (48子コメント)

I can think of several things to do with that many marshmallows where a calorie count could be helpful.

[–]InshpektaGubbins 91ポイント92ポイント  (34子コメント)

1) Eat them

2) Don't not eat them

[–]dotadodger 55ポイント56ポイント  (32子コメント)

3) use them for space fuel. The calorie count is just a measure of energy.

[–]RichardMcNixon 26ポイント27ポイント  (1子コメント)

4) murder... Bury a person up to their neck with the things inside a 4' diameter plastic tube. Add water until victim is completely crushed. Let sit. Serves 4-6

[–]Cayou 8ポイント9ポイント  (19子コメント)

Wait, isn't space fuel just about mass? Unless I have a fundamental misunderstanding of how propulsion in outer space works, calories don't matter at all. You're just throwing shit out behind you in order to move fowards, or throwing shit to the right in order to go to the left.

Edit: it turns out I did have a fundamental misunderstanding of how propulsion in outer space works.

[–]kwturpin 17ポイント18ポイント  (10子コメント)

You can throw your rocket fuel out the back to get some momentum if you want. Me, I'll burn mine and fire the emissions through a narrow hole. See you never, because now I'm going faster than you, in space.

[–]HowAboutShutUp 3ポイント4ポイント  (9子コメント)

so if we like, mixed the marshmallows with oxiclean (cuz oxygen, yo) and burned them out your narrow hole, can we go in space?

[–]sonofaresiii 17ポイント18ポイント  (4子コメント)

I notice you did not list any

[–]Randomritari 7ポイント8ポイント  (2子コメント)

In the end, it doesn't matter if you get 100kcal from a fruit or from these if your only objective is to lose weight. Seeing as they're small and easy to carry, I'd probably take these with me to the gym for a small energy boost. That would require knowing how much I need to take with me.

[–]berriesthatburn 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

You'd probably feel like shit eating sugar to give you "small energy boosts", at least until your body acclimatizes and you don't get anything out of it. There's a reason they use that lemonade concoction in sports and have you suck on citrus slices rather than marshamllow slices.

[–]P15T0L_WH1PP3D 16ポイント17ポイント  (3子コメント)

Really, the comment seems to follow the thought that a person concerned with the calorie count has the intention to eat the whole bag. It's reasonable that they'd want to know the count per serving so that they know if they'll be able to use these in their hot chocolate on "cheat days" in their diet.

[–]TrimmedXP 6ポイント7ポイント  (2子コメント)

Why would they need ten thousand marshmallows?

[–]yoga_jones 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well if they are dehydrated, they would last for a long time. I actually used to eat regular marshmallows as a snack when I was dieting. Four regular Jet Puffed marshmallows were 100 calories, not bad for a small snack before bed.

[–]PM_ME_POTATO_PICS 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think they would make a good pillow

[–]Evillock 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

from the last time it was posted here by /u/clean_dirt

I messed up the math, but got ~64,000 calories, but /u/ihideinyoursocks got 72,600 calories and /u/flamants got ~83,000 after I corrected the calories to show dehydrated marshmallows, I originally used the regular marshmallows. I have to imagine the last number is probably the most correct.

Hopefully this fulfills your request for calorie information, so you can do whatever freaky-deaky thing you have planned. Just keep in mind the calorie count is somewhere between 72,600 and 83,000 calories.

[–]RufusMcCoot 70ポイント71ポイント  (223子コメント)

But they're vegan

[–]wiiya 85ポイント86ポイント  (211子コメント)

Honest question. I understand the vegetarian standpoint for a number of reasons. I don't understand vegans. one unallowed product encompassed in veganism. Chicken eggs. They are a natural product. Something with great protein generated constantly with no loss of life. When chickens are farmed in a responsible manner, it's completely natural. Why not eat these little perfectly natural pockets of protein?

EDIT: Made my comment less universal.

[–]Elliotastic 197ポイント198ポイント  (169子コメント)

Their reasoning is that chickens are not farmed in a responsible manner.

[–]wiiya 33ポイント34ポイント  (165子コメント)

Sure most chickens, but organic, cage free eggs. They cost maybe $2 more for a dozen. What's wrong then?

[–]Dglsdms 139ポイント140ポイント  (114子コメント)

Something to do with the mass killing of male chicks (ground into a pulp). Same for dairy industry.

Some vegans don't eat honey. Now that is crazy.

[–]psyki 58ポイント59ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.

[–]KyleCardoza 55ポイント56ポイント  (65子コメント)

I know a vegan who avoids honey, not on moral grounds as for meat and dairy, but just because she's squicked out by the thought of eating insect barf. I tried to explain it to her with science, but it didn't work.

[–]InshpektaGubbins 41ポイント42ポイント  (51子コメント)

Gross, now I don't want to eat honey.

[–]SeveralPeople 143ポイント144ポイント  (37子コメント)

Cheese is bacteria. Canned food has tons of bug shit. Carrots are grass penises.

[–]taosahpiah 115ポイント116ポイント  (6子コメント)

So Mother Earth has billions and billions of grass penises penetrating her all the time?

No wonder she's heating up.

[–]benisanerd 16ポイント17ポイント  (0子コメント)

And fruits are ovaries

[–]bw13187 15ポイント16ポイント  (7子コメント)

Canned food has tons of bug shit.

Do what now?

[–]flamingeyebrows 11ポイント12ポイント  (2子コメント)

Most countries regulations allow a certain (low) percentage of detectable fecal matter to be present in packaged food.

[–]mysteryflav 8ポイント9ポイント  (1子コメント)

The air you breathe has insect bits in it. I should not have watched that documentary on Netflix.

[–]horyo 6ポイント7ポイント  (5子コメント)

Canned food has tons of bug shit.

What???

[–]joeflux 5ポイント6ポイント  (3子コメント)

such as maggots, thrips, insect fragments, "foreign matter", mold, rodent hairs, and insect and mammalian feces.

For example, the limit of insect contaminants allowed in canned or frozen peaches is specified as: "In 12 1-pound cans or equivalent, one or more larvae and/or larval fragments whose aggregate length exceeds 5 mm."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Food_Defect_Action_Levels

[–]dsaasddsaasd 17ポイント18ポイント  (10子コメント)

Hey now. Honey is not exactly barf. Nectar is not stored in the bee's stomach, but in another specialized organ, so when the bee regurgitates it it does not contain things that make the barf barf, like stomach acids, half-digested remains of previous meals and all that jazz.

So yeah, honey is kinda barf, but not actually barf.

[–]slabby 8ポイント9ポイント  (1子コメント)

Like when you ejaculate, you're not peeing. You're using different anatomical parts, even if it looks somewhat similar in function. Bees just cum food from their mouths. It's different from vomiting.

[–]ManWithHangover 8ポイント9ポイント  (7子コメント)

Sorry, but anytime you can accurately use the word regurgitate to describe such a process, it's normally going to be likened to barf.

[–]kwturpin 7ポイント8ポイント  (5子コメント)

Is vomiting even technically regurgitating? This is semantics, but I always through of regurgitation as a productive, intentional process. Vomiting is just vomiting. Birds don't vomit up their food into their babies mouths, they regurgitate it. Are they actually synonyms?

I looked it up but the definitions seem skewed by our culture. Would appreciate an etymologist or other type of expert weighing in here.

[–]Deathcount_Nycro 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

Relevant german comic: http://www.nichtlustig.de/toondb/080513.html

Translation that kills the joke: Blackboard says:

Name for new product:

Honey

Bee slobber

Guy says: "Does noone here value honesty?"

[–]sdfsdfsxcvg 31ポイント32ポイント  (14子コメント)

There are numerous issues with actually verifying conditions are good. Even if you take them at their word, it is entirely possible to be cage free, but still have rather horrid conditions. A barn absolutely stuffed (practically literally) with chickens is indeed cage-free, but still affords the birds no actual space, among other things.

Other vegans aren't just there for harm-reduction, but take a more metaphysical view (I guess that's a decent description) that isn't based around not harming animals, but rather not using animals. To phrase it rather crudely, they believe it is wrong to mess with animals and we should instead just leave them alone. Don't try to argue with me on this one, I'm not in that camp and don't care to try to address the variety of issues that come up, particularly in relation to domesticated animals.

[–]ribnag 7ポイント8ポイント  (4子コメント)

Vegetarian-but-not-vegan here. I buy my eggs from a guy down the road. His hens eat whatever they want, wander around wherever they want, and he makes sure they have extra food available in the winter. I can verify the conditions they live in by going for a five minute walk down the road.

It only takes a dozen hens to have 10x more eggs than you can ever possibly eat yourself (each hen lays between half and two eggs per day).

Oh, and I pay less per dozen than your average store-bought factory-farmed eggs.

[–]jimbofisher2010 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

"Pa! Charlene here just layed herself another half an egg!"

[–]Dreamtrain 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

not all cage free eggs are really treated any better, half the time, if not more, people have found that the chickens are still kept inside a crowded area with very little free room and a very very small pen outside, which legally means the chicken has access to roam outside

[–]wombosio 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

'cage free means they are packed into the floor of a warehouse so tightly they cant move and are covered in shit.

[–]testry 11ポイント12ポイント  (3子コメント)

I don't get it. You don't understand why they would not have eggs, but are totally fine with avoiding milk products? It seems to me that avoiding eggs should come well before avoiding dairy.

[–]yorkcity 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

Not OP but he might see chicken eggs as more 'natural' because hens would lay eggs anyway. In theory we could happen upon unfertilised eggs in the wild and it's not impinging on anyone/thing's livelihood if we ate it. Whereas for dairy, man is always proactively manipulating cows' milk production for himself. In reality, we manipulate egg laying too of course but just guessing where OP might have been coming from...

[–]rikvanoostende 1ポイント2ポイント  (9子コメント)

I know of vegans and vegetarians who don't eat (free range) eggs because they might've been fertilized and they choose to not make a difference between eating an egg containing just a blastoderm, a balut egg or a hatched chicken.

Other than that I don't fully understand the vegan point of view, but I respect it all the same.

[–]CaptainCazio 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

where does it say they're vegan? I honestly can't find that on the page

[–]DrNick2012 14ポイント15ポイント  (1子コメント)

So you're telling me that just because I wanna smush them together into a bed shape so I can have a little midnight snack by eating my bed that I must not care about my figure? Fuck you amazon answers you don't know me!

[–]BANNEDFROMALAMO 24ポイント25ポイント  (5子コメント)

Well, fuck. I just one clicked 40 lbs of marshmallows on accident.

Edit: At least that is what im saying if anyone asks..

[–]couldbeglorious 37ポイント38ポイント  (15子コメント)

I'm going to go ahead and risk damaging the lovely circlejerk going on here and suggest that it's not impossible that this person is buying the bag with the intention of only eating some of them, or making them into a recipe for many people such as marshmallow muffins where they would like to be able to calculate the calories per muffin.

[–]lovecosmos 21ポイント22ポイント  (10子コメント)

But the person specifically said "I'm watching my figure"

[–]fortmonkey 9ポイント10ポイント  (7子コメント)

It's still a circle jerk. I'm a 33-year-old trim and athletic women. This does not run in my family. I eat very healthfully and work out, but I will not begrudge myself a pouch of Sour Patch Kids or a bowl of good, full-fat ice cream on the weekend.

Moderation does exist. Maybe marshmallows are her cheat.

[–]HaikuberryFin 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

marshmallow muffins

what the motherfuckinghell?

/u/couldbeglorious?

[–]couldbeglorious 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

http://www.yummly.com/recipes/marshmallow-muffins

there's tons of different things you can do with marshmallows

[–]KarmaBot200 21ポイント22ポイント  (18子コメント)

Maybe she was buying them for a scout gathering.

[–]Tenziru 19ポイント20ポイント  (14子コメント)

that way of thinking though, but based on "I'm watching my figure" that is not the case.

[–]dogeillionaire 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

mutually exclusive*

[–]ElBrownSound 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Lanis was always the feisty one.