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Pyschotherapy, against or for it? (self.TheRedPill)

Rufio0331 が 投稿

I've been following the TRP for the last 8 months, 6 weeks in and for the last 6 months I was involved with a girl that ended up being a very toxic relationship and difficult to maintain frame. You live and learn from your mistakes and move forward, but as part of it to get my head right again, I was considering therapy sessions (with a male therapist not a female) Besides the obvious points of Lifting, sticking with my hobbies, working hard. To get my head right back in the game would you advise for or against therapy? Pre redpill I would always stick to myself for a few months until I was fully over someone, however when I felt I was ready to get back in the game and meet girls I didn't spend that time to myself properly and I put myself back in a vicious cycle.

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[–]blastaa_mastaa 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

The current state of academia is designed to celebrate certain ideas while ignoring others. Anyone who has finished their degree will have been assaulted with feminism for 4 years in academia. Any licensed therapist is going to have been through that.

I started studying psychology a few years ago (as a hobby, non-academically for the most part). I'm going to give you my advice on what to do instead of seeking therapy.

To get my head right back in the game would you advise for or against therapy

To think that you need someone's help for this is in itself weakness. You're a man; you are strong enough to get over someone without another person telling you how right you are all the time. You don't need a therapist. How could a therapist really help in this regard, I wonder?

Pre redpill I would always stick to myself for a few months until I was fully over someone

You got depressed after your oneitis. That's totally normal, it's mostly what brought everyone here in the first place. Depression is an indication that something is wrong in your life; there needs to be a change. The number one cure for depression is regular exercise, so make sure you keep up with that. Get a gym buddy if you need someone to keep you accountable.

Besides the obvious points of Lifting, sticking with my hobbies, working hard.

What I just heard from this line was that you know these are things you should do. What I didn't hear is that you would do them. Further, work hard on what? You need to work hard on something you can be passionate about. I already denoted the importance of exercise, but a passionate hobby is one of next best things to overcome your depression. Identifying where you're going to be expending energy is important here.

TL;DR You don't need a therapist, you need exercise and a good hobby. You need someone to keep you accountable with your exercise until you develop the discipline to exercise on your own. You need to identify what it is making you unhappy, and affect some change to end that thought.

[–]Rufio0331[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

I've been doing crossfit and powerlifting for 6 years, shoot guns for a hobby, own a fast car and I have a solid job as an electrical engineer (hence the working hard) On paper I have an awesome life with some cool materialistic things, but like most people who do follow the red pill know, material things don't fulfill your life.

I always felt the one aspect I'm missing from my life is the girl but there are other factors I think that are keeping me from getting "the girl" ie oneitis or just being social in general.

[–]blastaa_mastaa 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I totally understand.

One of the fundamental underlying philosophies in Buddhism is that desire is the source of suffering. Until we let go of what we want we won't be happy, even if we already have it.

It sounds to me when you write "but there are other factors I think that are keeping me from getting "the girl"" that you're still imagining there's a perfect girl you're trying to acquire.

Many of those who are RP will state that such a girl doesn't exist. Its possible that your desire for a "unicorn" is making you unhappy?

[–]RedPillJohnny 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think that just talking about it out loud is therapy enough and unless you find a good one, and I mean a good therapist, not simply OK, they will fuck you up more than help you...but talking about your shit helps, which is essentially verbalizing the shit that you need to own...but talking is only good right up until the point that you are spinning your wheels talking about it, that's when a good therapist will nudge you forward instead of letting you wallow in your misery, but you can do that too as long as you are honest with yourself.

[–]Tad363 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

The only person qualified to decided whether or not you need therapy is you. If you feel like you're not able to get past something on your own, there is no shame or weakness in seeking help when you need it. The shame would be ignoring your problems or blaming them on someone else.

Ultimately, you and only you are responsible for you.

(As an aside: All therapists are not created equally. The relationship and chemistry you have with your therapist will MASSIVELY impact the results for which you are looking. If you have the time (and more importantly, the money,) shop around and find one that you feel works for you.)

[–]MentORPHEUS 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Depends hugely upon the individual therapist.

You want somebody who works with you proactively, and gives you hands-on techniques to work with and goals and metrics of progress. You DON'T want someone collecting a check to listen to you talk for 50 minutes, keeping you dependent for all time. After 2 sessions you should know if the therapist is a keeper or you need to find another.

Most of your self-improvement will be outside the therapist's office. They can be a good kickstart if you're in a bad place.