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One of the Guys? (self.gaybros)

Votrelouvel が 投稿

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[–]Tiki_Torch 1ポイント2ポイント  (24子コメント)

I'm very glad you can be yourself but realize that things like the campy gay scene, drag and dressing up and makeup are deal killers for a lot of us. There's nothing wrong with guys who aren't attracted to you because you're in to that.

I'm not attracted to anything remotely feminine and a guy who does that kind of thing isn't going to attract me sexually. I don't feel bad about it, we can't help what we're sexually attracted to.

[–]Votrelouvel[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (22子コメント)

I figured the good vibes would be ended eventually. Listen dude, simplying people into masculine and feminine is archaic and the exact reason why I made this post. People can be super masculine and enjoy feminine things. No ones gonna wanna be with someone they have to walk on eggshells with. You missed the point of this whole thread by honing in on the feminine traits and ignoring the masculine ones.

[–]Tiki_Torch 2ポイント3ポイント  (21子コメント)

I didn't miss anything at all, but I do find it interesting how you want everyone to accept what you posted (which I do and mentioned when I said I'm glad you could be yourself) but criticize or get defensive when someone said they're not interested in guys that are into those kind of things.

If you want people to be ok with the way you are you have to be ok with people who aren't interested in that kind of thing.

[–]Votrelouvel[S] -2ポイント-1ポイント  (20子コメント)

I'm not asking anyone to be okay with who I am. I'm telling people it's okay to be who they are. I don't need anyone's validation; I've got a supportive family, a beautiful boyfriend, a dog, and a career that I'm happy with. All I ever ask is that people open their minds and do some research before they go off with their biases. The truth is, you're the kind of people I'm talking about. Its not about not being okay with you, it's about the realization that people are not as black and white as femme and masc. These things dehumanize people.

[–]Tiki_Torch 2ポイント3ポイント  (7子コメント)

How am I the kind of people you're talking about? All I'm saying is realize people like different things and just because they're not interested in a guy with feminine interests doesn't mean they hate you.

Here's one (of many) reasons why I avoid guys with feminine interests. First, like I said I'm not attracted at all to femininity, its an instant turn off. I can't help that, its just how I am. Many other guys are the exact same way, people like different things.

Story time: I went on a date with a guy who listed himself as a masculine guy, stated he had all kinds of interests like snowboarding, kayaking, swimming, etc.

We go on a date and I find out he wasn't exactly truthful. He spent the whole night talking about celebrity gossip and Beyonces Drag Race and stuff. He then wanted me to stop at a store with him really quickly where he was looking through womens underwear, picking out purses, and as soon as some song he liked came on the radio he screamed across the store "tiki_torch, open up your inner fag and dance with me!". I wanted to crawl under a rock.

He's not the only date I've been on like that. I, and many other guys have stories of dudes like that, which is why we generally avoid guys with more feminine interests because it always ends up turning out that way no matter how many chances you give. Its not that we wish them any ill will, its just that due to experience we know it probably won't work out and why waste our time and their time?

[–]H3000 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

You really shouldn't even have to be explaining this. Gay guys can be whoever they want to be and gay guys can like whoever they want to like.

[–]Votrelouvel[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (5子コメント)

It's insulting that you not only generalize all men to be like that, but you keep failing to see what I'm saying. Liking feminine stuff, doesn't mean you act like that. I would be appalled by that behavior too, dude. You're not getting the point in trying to make here and see that people CAN like both masculine AND feminine things. Project your bad dates elsewhere and not on others by stereotyping all guys who like make up as flamers. Tell special effects make up artists that they're girly, go ahead. There are men who fall in between the lines. I stated I'm not like Jack from Will and Grace, nor am I Paul Bunyan. Some of us aren't one of the other, we just are who we are without interests. I'm really good at talking to people in drag because of how versatile my interests are. I legit got in a discussion about the hiking trails I hike in Maine with this dude who came to see my show. It was awesome. The last thing I wanna go do is pick out a purse, I'd rather go buy Magic the Gathering cards LOL.

[–]Tiki_Torch -1ポイント0ポイント  (4子コメント)

Facepalm I never said any of what you're assuming. It's not anywhere in my posts.

What part of "I'm very glad you can be yourself" are you missing?

[–]Votrelouvel[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

Oh, I dono, the whole thing you posted afterwards. You're the one who has made A LOT of assumptions based on the fact that I'm a drag queen. Not sure why you felt the need to unload the bad date baggage onto me, other than the serve a point that ALL men with femme interests act a certain way.

[–]Tiki_Torch 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

I've tried to keep this civil but it basically boils down to the fact that you want people to not judge you based on your interests, but you judge others based on theirs.

All I stated was that I'm not attracted to feminine things. If a guy is into feminine things its probably not going to work between us.

You took that as a personal insult instead of "Oh, ok people like different things."

Don't cry about people not accepting your interests when you can't accept theirs.

[–]Votrelouvel[S] -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wasn't crying about anything. You're the one who felt the need to barge in here butt hurt about whatever you felt triggered by in my post. If me stating that things aren't so black and white means I'm not accepting of others, cool. Have a nice day, dude. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

[–]Votrelouvel[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

People get so angry when the message, "Get to know someone before you write them off," is expressed. You're not being burned at the stake for your beliefs or your attractions, you're probably just missing out on some pretty cool guys that would blow your mind if you actually took a second to realize there are people who can like make up and look like a lumberjack too.

[–]jaces_dream 1ポイント2ポイント  (11子コメント)

Look, I know you're trying to empower guys with strong feminine sides. But, you're also shaming guys who aren't into guys with strong feminine sides.

Don't get me wrong, you're definitely saying that it's okay to be into feminine things, and that's a message that masculine gay guys with strong feminine sides need to hear. However, you're also saying that if you don't want to date someone who is a drag queen, then there's something wrong with you. And that's not okay.

[–]Votrelouvel[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (10子コメント)

No. I'm saying that you referring to me as ONLY a drag queen is dehumanizing and fucked up.

[–]jaces_dream 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

Dude, chill out. I'm a gamer, a physicist, a swimmer, and a rock climber. If anyone referred to me as any one of these, I wouldn't be pissed. If anyone said that they could never date a physicist, that's fine. It has a measurable effect on my personality, and speaks to how I spend my time.

[–]Votrelouvel[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

How many times are you going to delete and recomment on this?

[–]jaces_dream 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yeah, I'm really not looking to get into a cat fight with you. I've commented several times already that you raise the good point that people should be themselves. It'd just be nice if you'd acknowledge that it's okay if some people don't want to date you cuz you're a drag queen.

[–]Votrelouvel[S] -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

Tell me where in my post this topic has anything to do with dating? The guy who made the comment brought up the dating issue. I don't care about who wants to date me because I'm already with the man I'm going to grow old with.

[–]Tiki_Torch 0ポイント1ポイント  (4子コメント)

Except no one said that.

[–]Votrelouvel[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

  • "He's not the only date I've been on like that. I, and many other guys have stories of dudes like that, which is why we generally avoid guys with more feminine interests because it always ends up turning out that way no matter how many chances you give."
  • "realize that things like the campy gay scene, drag and dressing up and makeup are deal killers for a lot of us."
  • "I went on a date with a guy who listed himself as a masculine guy, stated he had all kinds of interests like snowboarding, kayaking, swimming, etc. We go on a date and I find out he wasn't exactly truthful."

All these quotes generalize, dehumanize, condemn, and stereotype men based on their feminine interests. And again, you've COMPLETELY ignored the point of the post, saying that just because I have feminine interests, does not mean that I am not manly, nor does it cancel out my masculine interests. You are literally the type of man I'm talking about; someone that is so hung up on this stuff that you actually can't even properly compute the post in the first place because you only see words like drag queen and make up and jump down my throat with your nonsense. You gotta let go of the baggage dude because you're projecting it into this post and making it sound like I'm coming for guys who aren't attracted to effeminate men. If someone is completely out of your field of interest, that's one thing, but I can almost guarantee there's someone who likes what you like, but also happens to listen to Beyonce. Honestly, this post wasn't even about dating, LOL.

[–]Tiki_Torch -2ポイント-1ポイント  (2子コメント)

I repeat, no one was dehumanizing anyone.

[–]Votrelouvel[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I guess you're just too set in your ways to understand how generalizations and lumping all people into one opinion you have is an issue.