上位 200 件のコメント全て表示する 338

[–]jroddy94 1896ポイント1897ポイント  (69子コメント)

In a lesbian relationship they don't make the sandwiches they just eat out.

[–]TAU_equals_2PI 80ポイント81ポイント  (14子コメント)

Well, of course. They can't make sandwiches. They don't have any meat.

[–]TracerBulletX 62ポイント63ポイント  (12子コメント)

roast beef sandwiches

[–]Obie_Trice_Kenobi 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

As we were walking out of a shoddy strip club, my roommate proclaimed, "I think Arby's would really hit the spot right about now!"

[–]SyzygyTooms 34ポイント35ポイント  (2子コメント)

This was on gaybros yesterday and that was the exact joke written on the picture.

[–]randomsnark 14ポイント15ポイント  (1子コメント)

You can still see the top of the speech bubble it's in, cut off at the bottom of this image. It's the little white triangle pointing towards the mouth of the one on the right.

No idea why they cropped it out.

[–]SyzygyTooms 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

So they could make the same joke for karma, of course

[–]brucethetallboy 273ポイント274ポイント  (27子コメント)

I wanted to upvoted you, but you were up 69 points and I didn't want to wreck that

[–]rouseco 173ポイント174ポイント  (19子コメント)

you can safely upvote now.

[–]gingerfr0 55ポイント56ポイント  (1子コメント)

Get him to 6969! It's our only option!

[–]Chocolatemess 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

6969 that could be a gay sandwich too.

[–]liQuid03x 32ポイント33ポイント  (2子コメント)

You were at 70 points. Sorry for the downvote... But you know..

[–]TAU_equals_2PI 51ポイント52ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's good to go down if it leads to a 69.

[–]lionglzer 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

You're at 96. Sorry about the upvote.

[–]Roggvir 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's almost 696 now... Time to try for a new goal.

[–]OCSRetailSlave 19ポイント20ポイント  (3子コメント)

In a male homosexual relationship if one claims to be a vegetarian he is a liar.

[–]cavebaby 23ポイント24ポイント  (2子コメント)

False. At least one gets to eat all that tossed salad.

[–]illusioncaster 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

But it's still almost always accompanied by some sausage.

[–]punkminkis 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Don't forget the protein shake.

[–]NickPickle05 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Only when they muff the meal.

[–]Ewrong 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

I also follow Lizzy the Lezzy on facebook.

[–]GodricRyuzaki 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

And so not only was the Facebook photo stolen so was this joke that was cut off from the image...

[–]SickBurnBro 442ポイント443ポイント  (57子コメント)

Double date. Problem solved.

[–]eeahwoo 157ポイント158ポイント  (24子コメント)

I can see it now, a future full of same sex relationships that meet a few times a year to barter their goods.

[–]TAU_equals_2PI 161ポイント162ポイント  (21子コメント)

Semiannual Same Sex Sandwich Swap



They could just have swaps once a year if they made the sandwiches twice as big.

[–]RenegadeDragon 43ポイント44ポイント  (16子コメント)

Sexy Semiannual Same Sex Sandwich Swap

[–]TAU_equals_2PI 14ポイント15ポイント  (8子コメント)

Swapping sandwiches shouldn't seem sexy. (Sorry.)

[–]jinxjar 46ポイント47ポイント  (5子コメント)

With a knowing wink, I took off his top bread slice, and swapped it for mine. The mayonnaise pulled, and smeared, but the mustard held firm. I had always been fond of the faint scent of his packed slices, and the anticipation to finally sample it was intoxicating.

Crunch crunch.

[–]CheeseToast23 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

They could just have swaps once a year if they made the sandwiches twice as big.

Welp, didn't realize I was a tau supporter until now.

[–]Kai_Kahuna 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

Or simply known as a SSSSS.

[–][deleted] 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is snek

[–]icheah 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Pronounced "SSSSS".

[–]johannes101 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

"Alright, hand over the sandwiches and the home makeover magazine so we can pick out this season's new blinds"

[–]Nargodian 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yes at the Great Gay Bazaar!... I want that to be a thing.

[–]gorthiv 174ポイント175ポイント  (20子コメント)

Instructions unclear; dick stuck in sandwiches.

[–]TAU_equals_2PI 83ポイント84ポイント  (17子コメント)

That's not mayonnaise.

[–]TwoTinyTrees 61ポイント62ポイント  (11子コメント)

And that's not salami.

[–]Violets-Are-Blue 49ポイント50ポイント  (9子コメント)

"hold the pickle"

[–]rockabilly_pete 18ポイント19ポイント  (4子コメント)

[–]Violets-Are-Blue 8ポイント9ポイント  (1子コメント)

Holy crap! I love how Redditors have these gems stored up just waiting for the right occassion. Thank you, /u/rockabilly_pete !

[–]JackOAT135 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's the surprise!

[–]neoriply379 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

It took me an embarrassingly long time to get what they meant by Pickle Surprise.

[–]archontruth 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Only if the date goes really well...

[–]teambob 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

If I knew it was going to be that kind of party I would have stuck my dick in the sandwiches

[–]macgyverrda 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Shit, if this is gonna be that kind of party, I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes!

[–]im_a_slav_4_u 10ポイント11ポイント  (4子コメント)

I need to know what's on the sandwiches so I know what type of wine to bring. I don't want to bring a Malbec when a Rose would be more appropriate. I'd be mortified!

[–]Falcon9857 17ポイント18ポイント  (3子コメント)

Rosé
No one wants to drink a flower.

[–]troissandwich 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Rose petals and rose hips are pretty good in tea

[–]vulverine 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

To be fair, no one wants to drink rosé either.

[–]workyawn 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I hate rosé. I don't even-- What's the point of that?
Why not just red? I mean who- who are you helping?
- Michael Scott

[–]instagibson 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Future economist right here.

[–]waterclosetlurker 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

They should move in together so it can become a long term solution! And then, wouldn't it be nice if the fellas fell for the gals and they all got married and had babies?

[–]Shottothefart 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

Nice try, Mike Huckabee, but we're not falling for the ole banana in the tailpipe this time

[–]jrollphils11 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Mike would never stick his banana in a tailpipe...

[–]benay123 328ポイント329ポイント  (13子コメント)

C'mon dude..

I know it's bad when i see this on Facebook before i see it on Reddit.

[–][deleted] 105ポイント106ポイント  (10子コメント)

The sandwich thing has been unfunny since it was invented back in 2008 or whatever.

[–]NotAnAwkwardNinja 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

The last few months it seems like I've been seeing more an more stuff on facebook before I do on reddit.

[–]98x 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It was originally on 9gag.

[–]KarmaKaroo 305ポイント306ポイント  (37子コメント)

I could just take the top comment from this same post from yesterday morning and post that, but instead I'll just give you some advice in reposting.

KarmaKaroo's guide to reposting

You should only repost things that were last posted at the very least 6 months ago. I recommend 1 year or more, because that ensures that millions of new users will be exposed to it.

If you are looking for karma, I recommend that you look at a somewhat popular user's post history. This use should have more than 40,000 link karma and have more than 3 years on reddit. Go into their post history and order by top, this will allow you to see the posts that got the most karma. Choose a post that got between 1,000 and 3,000 karma, that is more than a year old, and is still relevant.

For help finding users that meet these requirements, type this into google:

site:reddit.com/user/ "redditor for 1 year" | "redditor for * years" +"link karma" -inurl:comments|submitted|liked|disliked|hidden|sort

The best time to post links is in the morning between 7 and 9, and if the post is NSFW then post it at nigh between 6 and 8.

You must first make sure that this post hasn't been posted too recently, or of it did, that it didn't get too much karma.

Go to this website...

http://karmadecay.com

... and check that your post hasn't been posted recently.

Once you have done all of this, come up with a somewhat different title, and make it click baity, but not too click baity. Choose a good subreddit for the posts and then post it.

If you are also going for Comment Karma...

You can take one of the top comments from the original post and post it yourself in your post.

[–]KyfeHeartsword 103ポイント104ポイント  (14子コメント)

Redditor for 19 days and knows how to Reddit better than 90% of Reddit.

I think we found the extreme lurker.

[–]kaliforniamike 37ポイント38ポイント  (4子コメント)

[–]holocaustic_soda 16ポイント17ポイント  (3子コメント)

Yes but do you have a guide for jackdaws?

[–]ZoZferatu 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

I'd like to call them crows.

[–]taicrunch 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

See, here's the thing...

[–]Unrelated_To_Thread 55ポイント56ポイント  (2子コメント)

I like to think he saw the guide and reposted it.

[–]JudmanDaSuperhero 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hes the reposter we deserve, but not the one we need. He is KarmaKaroo

[–]IranianGenius 14ポイント15ポイント  (5子コメント)

Yeah because nobody has alt accounts.

[–]KarmaKaroo 19ポイント20ポイント  (3子コメント)

Bingo.

This is my main account now, some of my peers knew me on my old one so I made a new one.

Good bye 20,000 karma :,(

[–]IranianGenius 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'll share with you :)

[–]randomsnark 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Can I have some too? I am just a poor karma child

[–]Perite 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's ok, sounds like you know how to get that back in no time

[–]FakeAccount92 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I have dozens! I get a new account every couple of months.

[–]pekayer10 34ポイント35ポイント  (1子コメント)

I could just take the top comment from this same post from yesterday morning and post that, but instead I'll just give you some advice in reposting.

Pekayer10's guide to reposting

You should only repost things that were last posted at the very least 6 months ago. I recommend 1 year or more, because that ensures that millions of new users will be exposed to it.

If you are looking for karma, I recommend that you look at a somewhat popular user's post history. This use should have more than 40,000 link karma and have more than 3 years on reddit. Go into their post history and order by top, this will allow you to see the posts that got the most karma. Choose a post that got between 1,000 and 3,000 karma, that is more than a year old, and is still relevant.

For help finding users that meet these requirements, type this into google: >site:reddit.com/user/ "redditor for 1 year" | "redditor for * years" +"link karma" -inurl:comments|submitted|liked|disliked|hidden|sort

The best time to post links is in the morning between 7 and 9, and if the post is NSFW then post it at nigh between 6 and 8.

You must first make sure that this post hasn't been posted too recently, or of it did, that it didn't get too much karma.

Go to this website...

>http://karmadecay.com

... and check that your post hasn't been posted recently.

Once you have done all of this, come up with a somewhat different title, and make it click baity, but not too click baity. Choose a good subreddit for the posts and then post it.

If you are also going for Comment Karma...

You can take one of the top comments from the original post and post it yourself in your post.

[–]Warlizard 6ポイント7ポイント  (7子コメント)

One guy took a screen shot of something I commented on and got 4k upvotes. That was bizarre.

[–]StringEpsilon 7ポイント8ポイント  (4子コメント)

step 1: "Hey are you that guy from the gaming forum?"

step 2: Wait for Warlizards reaction

step 3: Take a screenshot and post it to /r/funny

step 4: ???

step 5: Profit.

[–]Warlizard 5ポイント6ポイント  (3子コメント)

Good luck spending that karma.

[–]StringEpsilon 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

Damn it, I hoped for your standard reaction, so I could screenshot and post this... ;)

[–]hells_cowbells 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

He got too busy on the gaming forum to post his standard reaction.

[–]WinterCharm 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

:D hey buddy! It's good to see you again!

[–]El_Derogator 14ポイント15ポイント  (1子コメント)

burn

[–]PurpleMonkeyFeet 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

This comment is a repost from 1990. I guess that does fall within the guideline above of more that a year old, though.

[–]InfanticideAquifer 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's a pretty sophisticated plan for a 20 day old account...

[–]cuzziewuzzie 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

You showed him how it's done

Kudos to you :)

[–]booradleyhd 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Link to the original post? or it didnt happen

[–]Satk0 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, he's on the front page. Good tips, but I don't think he needs them!

[–]Dodecahedrus 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not sure about yesterday, but the one last week even had a third line at the bottom like. "Nvm, we'll just eat out."

[–][削除されました]  (15子コメント)

[deleted]

    [–]PurpleMonkeyFeet 30ポイント31ポイント  (4子コメント)

    That's a pretty progressive grandma you got.

    [–]NobilisUltima 37ポイント38ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Not really, considering that the joke is "girls make sandwiches". Pretty fucking backwards if you ask me.

    [–]BoboOrban6 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Yeah, because cornball image macros with obvious, stupid jokes is so progressive, really a niche thing to do.

    [–]OOMAMOW 17ポイント18ポイント  (2子コメント)

    Fuck off with the summer reddit shit, its the exact same all year round.

    [–]cilllandlord 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I don't know man there are always shit posts but the last couple of weeks have been fucking terrible.

    [–]ShadowyDragon 4ポイント5ポイント  (3子コメント)

    Funniest part of /r/funny are comments with humor connoisseurs complaining about bad posts. If you hate it that much why don't unsubscribe, bro? And yet we are both here.

    [–]Fourpercentbattery 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Yet you're still here

    [–]58785414523256965 43ポイント44ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Probably the most overdone and middle school-ish joke in existence. Reminds me of the days when I used to read badly written, "le" laden rage comics.

    [–]Vintrial 387ポイント388ポイント  (36子コメント)

    "funny"

    [–]Boogeeb 40ポイント41ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I thought I was on /r/terriblefacebookmemes for a second

    [–][deleted] 102ポイント103ポイント  (9子コメント)

    Hey I laughed pretty reasonably.

    [–]butterpig 14ポイント15ポイント  (2子コメント)

    I breathed air out of my nose

    [–]Alpha_lemming 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

    And the first comment thread made me giggle actively, one might even say a lol happened.

    [–]InfanticideAquifer 16ポイント17ポイント  (1子コメント)

    This was funny.

    It wasn't hilarious.

    But it was funny.

    [–]bilog78 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    (Mildly) interestingly, there is an /r/hilarious, but it's “coming soon”

    [–]fairshare 4ポイント5ポイント  (2子コメント)

    Every summer reddit gets filled with even more "humor".

    [–]number0pencil 39ポイント40ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Every summer redditers think the content on the default subs is worse than it always is.

    [–]CivilNassar 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Hey, I thought this was funny.

    [–]HitlerWasAtheist -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

    2000 upvotes as of now sorry bud looks like some people thought it was. Hope that doesn't get you too upset.

    [–]d_theratqueen 21ポイント22ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Holy fuck this is cringey. Who upvotes shit like this?

    [–]LR5 58ポイント59ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Holy shit that wasn't funny at all.

    [–]afternoonofthefaun 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

    DAE WIMIN SAMMICH? LEL

    [–][deleted] 18ポイント19ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Oh I'm glad someone let me know it was summer, I almost couldn't tell.

    [–]YXAYXA 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

    And this some-fucking-how made it to the top of /r/funny? Jesus christ on a trike this is the dumbest shit I've ever seen

    [–]nakedcokeparty 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I saw this post on Facebook before reddit. What is the world coming to?

    [–]AnalogRevolution 15ポイント16ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Summer Reddit is real

    [–]ZeeHanzenShwanz 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I remember my first repost.

    [–]KX9lol 16ポイント17ポイント  (0子コメント)

    The kids are out of school :(

    [–]ohthatjennifer 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Lets not put straight couple gender roles onto homosexual couples.

    [–]heywhatsmells 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Holy fuck, yikes. I saw this on FB two days ago and thought it was almost too lame for FB even. Congratulations, Reddit, a little worse everyday.

    [–]SebastianBraddock 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I dont think we're allowed to eat carbs. Do lettuce wraps count at sandwiches?

    [–]Stjesus 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    There is nothing like some sexist humor, oh delight.

    [–]urdsrevenge 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Why would you want a sandwich? Gay men dine at fancy restaurants, then we burn it off with all that dancing. Five, six, seven, eight. Step ball change and kick .

    [–]ameliajean 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

    This is annoying

    [–][削除されました]  (2子コメント)

    [deleted]

      [–]crw795 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

      This might be one of the most unfunny things I've ever seen. Definitely belongs in this sub then.

      [–]myowz 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

      Is it me or does that guy in the front look like a young, gay Jeff Goldblum?

      [–]NobilisUltima 4ポイント5ポイント  (3子コメント)

      Seriously? A joke about how women make sandwiches? I hope you're proud of yourself, because no one else is.

      [–]catiscat 5ポイント6ポイント  (4子コメント)

      I wish gay men and gay women would not be categorized into straight stereotypes... Now that's what you call offensive

      [–]jam11249 2ポイント3ポイント  (3子コメント)

      If anything I'd say it's impressive that it is stereotyping gay men/women the same way as straight men/women.

      In my opinion it's a refreshing change from "all gay men are flamboyant hairdressers and all lesbians are hairy carpenter" jokes.

      [–]cybertail 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

      "Women make sandwiches" is the oldest lame sexist joke in the book... refreshing this is not.

      [–]kingeryck 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

      Do they just compulsively make sandwiches? Because no woman I've been with has done that.

      [–]donovanjames 4ポイント5ポイント  (3子コメント)

      This is fucking stupid and pretty insulting considering its 2015.

      [–]Imustcomment 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

      If you know what I mean? :3

      [–]timoumd 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

      Sudo guys. Come on.